Season 6
by electrons
Summary: My idea of how season six could have played out if the show had been renewed for another season. Angel goes against Wolfram & Hart as their new CEO plots to bring the demonic entities to our dimension by blurring the line between dimensions in the city of angels. Characters from BtVS make appearances. Could definitely use more reviews. Complete!
1. Tremors

Lilah blinked as the flames around her dissipated, along with the walls and filing cabinets. She lifted a hand to wipe some sweat from her brow, surprised to find it no longer chained to her desk where she proofread legal documents all day (although this place had no days or nights) without respite, forced to drink her own blood whenever she missed an error. As far as hell dimensions went this one wasn't so bad, if she had been a screw-up like Lindsey things would be a lot worse, she shuddered at the thought.

"Yes it is chilly in here, isn't it?" Lilah stared at the beautiful woman in front of her. Her short blond curls framed her beautiful, perfectly symmetrical face. Her light blue dress, the same color as her eyes, shimmered against her pale skin. Her lips were the lightest pink. The room was made of marble, decorated with gorgeous fountains spouting cool blue water. Lilah longed for a taste. "Go ahead," The woman waved her hand dismissively.

Lilah wanted to quench her thirst so badly, but to do so would be a sign of weakness.

"Quite right, and the job we have in mind for you is not for the weak."

"A bit more important than searching for spelling errors?" Speaking hurt her throat and Lilah wondered why she bothered when this woman could read her mind.

"I should say so. You remember the last job you did for us?"

Lilah nodded.

"You brought us our last CEO. He was a bit of a disappointment, cost us quite a bit."

"Angel can't be corrupted, I could have told you that." Lilah knew that was a foolish thing to say, but why hold anything back when the person you are talking to can read your mind? Maybe this woman would admire her guts.

"Maybe, but you still wouldn't have dared to speak if you knew who I am."

"Who?" Lilah had a suspicion…

"I am the Wolf."

Lilah clasped her wrist to prevent her hands from shaking. "It's an honor-"

Lilah received another dismissive wave. "Since before humans walked the earth we have been stuck here is this dimension, where we rule all. But what is there to rule?" She sighed "There is nothing here but what we create, or what signs itself to us. People like you come here, are subjected to the torments we desire, but none of it is real. In your world things are built, people born every day. They build tall towers and knock them down, they hollow and fill, reach and fall, it is all so… organic. We would love to have it for our own, have wanted it since it was. Yet we are trapped here, with no real power to shape the events that transpire on your earth. It frustrates us and we grow weary. Every time our agents find a way to brings us over there is a… complication. Your friend Angel is the latest in a long line."

"He is not my friend." Lilah felt she had to interject.

"Of course he is." The woman laughed. "What is a friend but someone you enjoy? Did you not enjoy fighting Angel? Of course you did," The woman didn't give Lilah time to respond. "You enjoyed pitting yourself against him, enjoyed cutting into his noble, dead heart. You enjoyed his company, you were his friend."

Lilah nodded her head in concession. "You have a unique understanding of humanity."

"Because I am not human."

"Of course," Lilah said

The cool room was starting to have an effect on her. Her skin no longer burned, her throat no longer screamed in thirst. She felt fresh and cool, like when she used to eat pistachio ice cream in her cold bath after a long day of working to bring about the end times.

"So do you want the job?"

"You're asking me if I want to run Wolfram & Hart?"

"Of course, why else would I lower myself to speaking with a lesser being? I had to make sure you were still up to the job, still… feisty." The woman licked her pink lips with her tiny pink tongue, eyeing Lilah as though she were meat. To a creature like this Lilah was sure she was little more.

"Of course I want the job, but I'm dead."

The woman laughed. "So was your friend when he took over, still is, but he continues to plague us never the less. Him, and an old playmate of ours we wish to see returned to the depths from whence it came, or better yet cast out of this dimension. They along with a troublesome improbability and a mortal who doesn't seem to comprehend mortality, killed our servants and our pets. We want them punished."

"Of course mam," Lilah's voice was calm, but she knew the woman could see the anticipation in her mind.

"We also want to return to the world."

"Yes mam," Lilah was ready, ready to serve and ready to win.

"Then I suggest you get started." The woman pointed to an oak door behind her desk that clashed with the décor and certainly hadn't been there before. Lilah started for the door, but was halted by the woman's voice as she passed by her chair. "But not your lover,"

Lilah's heart (if she still had one, she wasn't clear on how that worked) stopped. "What?"

"Angel was your friend, but not your lover." The woman offered Lilah a piece of paper, which she took. "You'll be needing this."

"We'll be in touch." The woman said as Lilah walked toward the door, reading over the contract of one Wesley Windham-Price.

…

"Wesley! Hi!" Harmony stood up from behind her desk and rushed over to Wesley,

Wesley tried to remember what happened. Death, that was very painful he recalled. He touched his side, feeling for the spot where the blade had entered him, cutting his liver, causing him to bleed to death in a couple of minutes. He lifted his shirt and the hole was there, but no blood. A gaping hole in his body, and not even a drop of blood.

"That looks nasty." Harmony said in her typical annoying high-pitched voice.

"I'm in hell." Wesley realized.

"Don't be so dramatic." A door had opened, the door to Angel's office. At least it used to be Angel's office. If killing your Bosses' earthly agents didn't count as quitting, it was certainly grounds for a firing. From the other side of the door had come Lilah Morgan, wearing a wide smile and designer shoes. "I've been to hell, most of the rooms aren't air-conditioned."

"What are you doing here Lilah?" Before she could answer he reconsidered his question. "Actually I don't care, what am I doing here?"

Harmony snorted. "Look at Mr. me me me, all about me."

Wesley gave Harmony a withering look, and she trudged back to her desk.

Lilah handed Wesley a piece of paper.

"This contract doesn't bind me to Wolfram & Hart after death." Yet even as he spoke Wesley felt as though he had just feasted on lead. Was it possible that through some loophole Wesley had condemned himself to serve Wolfram & Hart forever? The thought was unbearable, he could think of no greater torment.

"It doesn't say anything about life or death. 'and under the aforementioned conditions Mr. Wyndham-Price will work at Wolfram and Hart until such time as he quits, destroying any and all obligations he holds to the company and any and all obligations the company owes him.' You never quit Wesley." Lilah grinned. It was odd to see how pleased she was, almost as though she were glad to see him, glad to be near him.

Wesley pushed the thought from his mind. "So if I quit that's it, I move on?"

"To whatever afterlife you've earned for yourself, but don't be so hasty."

"Lilah nothing in this world could make me want to stay here. No hell dimension could be greater torment."

"She isn't there Wesley," Lilah whispered, if Wesley wasn't so jaded her might have heard the compassion in her voice.

"I know." Lilah wasn't sure what Wesley meant by that, that he knew she hadn't been allowed to move on, or that he thought he had condemned himself to hell.

"So why go?"

"Why stay, why even continue this conversation?"

Lilah sighed. "Because once upon a time there was a little boy who was never good enough. No matter how very good he was, he wasn't quite good enough. His daddy yelled at him, but he still wasn't good enough. His daddy locked him under the stairs, but he still wasn't good enough." Lilah spoke in a sing-song voice similar to the one used when reciting a story like _The Three Little Pigs _or _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_. Wesley stared in morbid fascination, unable to stop her though he desperately wanted to. "Daddy sent him to a special school where they decided that he was the best of all the little boys, but he still wasn't good enough. The little boy, no longer a boy, but certainly not a man, tried so very hard to be good. All he wanted was to be accepted. He thought if he was smart enough, virtuous enough, and worked hard enough, people would admire him. Maybe somebody would love him. The little boy trained very hard and was given the most important job in the world, the job all the little boys at the special school trained for, but only he got to have. The little boy was going to look after two little girls, these girls were destined to save the world. They did, but without the little boys help, because you see, he still wasn't good enough. The girls cast him aside like a rag, regarded him as nothing, because he wasn't good enough to be a hero, to be a watcher, to be a man. When those little girls cast him aside, the council saw him for what he was, a scared little boy. They to cast him aside. He was nothing, just a lost little boy. Nobody wanted him. Then one day the little boy met an old man and a special woman. They offered him a place, a family, a home. For the first time in his life the little boy was wanted. Someone thought he was good enough."

Lilah looked at Wesley, waiting for a flood of rage, but he seemed broken, unable to move his mouth or raise his eyes. "Now the question is if there is any part of you that still cares enough to want to repay that faith."

Wesley squeezed him eyes shut, blocking out the hardwood floors, the sound of Lilah's voice, all of it. He could block it out forever with two words. All he had to do was quit. "You're saying I should play both teams, that didn't work out so well the last time."

Lilah shrugged. "You averted the apocalypse, derailed a play thousands of years in the making, and destroyed one of the most powerful forces for evil in the world, what more did you want?"

Wesley laughed. "Not to watch the love of my life die in my arms while suffering unbearable agony, her insides melting while her brain collapsed upon itself." He looked at Lilah, waiting to see what witty retort she would conjure.

Lilah shrugged, a shrug that infuriated Wesley, to her Fred was nothing, and her death carried no more meaning than that of an insect. Wesley wanted to wring her neck, this woman he almost- Mustn't think about that. "Well that," said Lilah "Is just too bad. What's done is done and cannot be undone. However, that's where the advantages for playing for both teams comes in."

Wesley stared at Lilah, unable to process that last sentence. Was she implying… If Lilah was just stringing him along Wesley would stick around just long enough to find a way to send that bitch back to hell. "Are you implying-"

"Wesley," Lilah cut him off. "If you want to quit, quit. If not, I can explain your new duties to you. I'm a very busy woman, and can't stand here all day waiting for you to make up your mind." Lilah smirked, very pleased with herself.

That smirk, it was one of the reasons- Wesley shook his head. "I'll stay on."

…

Angel lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Outside the portal to hell was spewing forth beasts of all kinds, endless carnage and mayhem. The flow never slowed, not even for a moment. If there was just one, one blessed moment of silence when no demons came through it could give him hope, but there was no more hope. Yes the apocalypse had been averted, yes the circle had been destroyed, but at what price. L.A. was fast becoming hell on earth, and not in a metaphorical sense. Soon the city would be overrun, while its champion lay in bed, thinking about a look. A final look shared between two friends. They were friends, through it all, no, more than that. Everything that had happened would destroy a friendship, theirs was a deeper bond, the bond between brothers, comrades in arms. They had shared the same cause, looked after one another with selfless desire to preserve each other's lives. Surely, such a story deserved a better ending than just a look, nothing more than a look.

"Angel,"

Angel sat up, surprised. He didn't think anyone was well enough to get out of bed, much less come find him. "What is it Spike?"

The vampire lit a cigarette, the flame from the lighter illuminating his bloody hands. Angel had no idea how much of that blood was Spike's. Angel doubted he did either. "I'm not your bloody butler."

Angel chuckled, hurting his ribs. "You came all the way down here to tell me that?"

"Someone's at the door." With that said Spike headed back up the basement stairs toward the lobby of the Hyperion. Angel followed him, wincing in pain, wondering who was here to see the city's broken champion. When they reached the lobby Angel was greeted by someone he had never expected to see again. Her blond hair had been cut short, not into any style, probably to prevent it from becoming a battle hazard. She wore a long scarf wrapped around her neck that didn't match the rest of her outfit, and she was pissed.

"Hello Angel," Kate Lockley snarled "Having a nice nap?"

Angel sighed "Do I look it?"

Kate took in his injuries, utterly unsympathetic. "It appears you've failed to notice that the city is overrun, overrun with your kind."

Kate might look different, but she hadn't changed much. She regarded anything supernatural that happened in this city as Angel's personal responsibility. Truth be told this didn't deviate to far from Angel's own world view, but he found little comfort in that.

"Those weren't vampires." Spike said "Wish they were, could take um down with my right arm tied behind my back." Spike held his right arm up as evidence, cigarette smoldering between two fingers, little flecks of ash falling into the rivers of blood on his hands. "Vampires are nasty beasts, but once they're full they'll leave well enough alone. Those beasts came straight from a hell dimension, they'll kill anything. Good, evil, doesn't mean nothing to um. They just tear and smash till there ain't nothing left then move on." Spike took a deep drag from his cigarette, he'd gotten riled up. "Self-preservation is a foreign concept to them, mercy doesn't even exist where they're from. They go till they're in pieces, and when they're nothing but pulp, the next wave comes, and the next, and the next," Spike was bordering on hysteria now, a concept Angel found deeply troubling. "We beat um back and more came, they came and came, I've never…" Spike tried to bring the cigarette to him mouth, but his hands were trembling too much. He dropped it in disgust, grinding it into the tile with his heel. "Never…"

Lockley looked at Spike with something in her eyes Angel had rarely seen there, sympathy. He then realized that since they had never met Kate didn't know what Spike was, if she did she would hate him as much as she did Angel.

Footsteps on the stairs brought Angel's attention to the descending Illyria. Her lifeless eyes took them all in, processed them, but did not comprehend. Maybe Illyria was capable of emotion, or something akin to it. She had a strong reaction to Wesley's death. But Wesley was useful to her, and the reaction may have been less grief than anger, less about a loss and more about an inconvenience. The thought cut him, the idea that Wesley could be to someone, nothing more than a means to an end. "I heard an unfamiliar voice."

Angel looked at Kate to see her reaction, to his surprise there wasn't much of one. "I'm Kate." She said before returning her attention to the two vampires. Angel supposed hell on earth trumped a strange blue woman in terms of weird sights.

"I am Illyria." She said with her usual pretentious flourish.

Kate ignored her. "So you're not going to do anything?"

The suggestion frustrated Angel. Couldn't she see how hard he was trying, how much he had lost? No, he supposed not. Looking at her angel remembered what he said the last time he saw her. His epiphany as it were, that it his actions were meaningless, if everything were pre-destined, then that made his decisions all the more important. He may not get to choose the score but he could pick his plays. His life might be pointless, but at the very least he could spend it with the ones he loved. In that moment he had realized what he wanted most. Lorne had had to talk him through the shame and doubts, but he knew where he needed to be and what he wanted to have. He wanted Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn. Now two of those people were dead and one was upstairs making what might be a futile attempt to recover from dire wounds. In an attempt to make their lives matter he had stolen them. Now Kate wanted him to fix this, when this was actually the best case scenario. Angel felt a silly grin spread across him face.

"Are you smiling?" Kate asked in shock. Angel couldn't tell if it was outrage that he could smile at a time like this or genuine surprise that a man like him, not very prone to mirth, was smiling. "What do you have to smile about?" The first one them.

"You don't know." He marveled

"Enlighten me," She snarled, voice dripping with venom.

"All of this, this is what happens when the good guys _win_."

…

Conner sat on the top of the family SUV, heart sinking lower into his chest with each passing moment. It wasn't just a traffic jam. He knew somehow that even if they walked to the city limits none of them were getting out of Las Angeles. Whatever had happened wasn't over. The fight he had fled because his father asked him to, would staying have made a difference? His head told him no, while his heart screamed yes. Coming to terms with who he was, his past, had been hard. His family, though he could tell them nothing, had supported him without question. They were incredible like that. Of course they were though, Angel would accept nothing less than the perfect family for his son. That was the hardest part. Angel was just as much responsible for his happy memories as the family actually in them, but Angel was the only one who had been forced to sacrifice something to supply them. Fighting next to Angel had felt so right. In that other life fighting had been the only thing that made him happy, the only thing. He was never happy doing anything else. Only when he had this new life, this new happiness was he capable of seeing how sad that was. When his memories were returned he did see, and with that seeing came a kind of enlightenment, a kind of peace. Now, that peace was threatened by a not unfamiliar threat. The end of the world as we know it.

Conner's musings were interrupted by the woman who remembered raising him, nurturing him, reveling in his every success, and mourning his every failure. She believed herself to be his mother and whether or not that made it true was a question that mattered less to Conner every time he thought about it. He loved her, and she him. "Conner,"

That's why the fear in her voice hurt him so. "It'll be okay mom." Conner hopped down from the car and put his hand on her shoulder. "We'll get out."

But Conner was lying, and he could never hide a lie from her.

…

"Anne!" Rodney burst into the shelter, his heart slamming against his breastbone with such speed and ferocity it was sure to break. "Anne!"

She came running down the stairs. "Rodney!" She stared at him, mouth agape. His face was covered in tears. This man who so seldom displayed fear, this confident, self-assured man, was crying in her shelter. She had seen him upset many times, in his line of work losing friends was a guarantee, but he never stopped caring. Yet for all the times she had seen him mourn Anne had never seen him break down. A memory echoed in her mind. Yesterday, Gunn had been here and he had asked her…

"What happened?"

"They're dead Anne, all of them."

Anne stood still, not quite sure she understood. "Who?"

"Everyone, the-the whole gang. Demons, everywhere, it was… unreal. We fought. I fought, I rushed right at it. It knocked me down, when I woke up… Bodies Anne, they stink."

Anne rushed to Rodney, recognizing the signs of PTSD, something she had seen far too much of in her life. "Rodney you need to sit down."

"We have to get you out of here, you and the kids."

"Think Rodney, where would we go, there's nowhere safer than-"

Someone else rushed into the shelter. The boy's name was Tanny, or at least he said it was. He stayed at the shelter about once every few weeks. He usually had a few bruises when he showed up, but Anne worried more when he didn't. Rodney pulled out a machete, pointing it at Tanny with a shaking hand. Tanny froze and Rodney lowered his weapon.

"Tanny-" Anne didn't get very far in her inquiry.

"Something's going on up the street. I was passing by when I saw these…" He searched for the words. "Snakes or alligators or something, I don't know. Some kind of reptiles, they were in this building and there was screaming, something's going on. I ran by, but I saw the shelter and remembered you guys were here, thought I should…"

Anne gave Tanny a warm smile. "Thank you Tanny, are you hungry?"

He shook his head. "I need to get home, check on my ma."

"Be careful," He nodded and was gone.

Rodney looked at Anne, his hands no longer shaking. "We have to go." His voice was imbued with purpose.

"Where?" She asked.

Rodney sighed. "I hate to say it, but I might know a place."

…

"You ever love someone you know you shouldn't." The Pylean, a rare breed in this dimension, asked.

"Sure, all the time. But I'm kind of a… whatever the love version of a slut is. I touch people and I instantly love them, can't help it. I already love you, but I won't regret it. That's rare, it means you're special. Your friend was special to, because you knew, you knew and you loved and it hurt and you kept on anyway. He's special."

Lorne looked at the woman, well female human-demon hybrid, sitting next to him. By human standards she was very ugly. Gray scales covered her hands which ended not in fingernails, but claws. The rest of her sported the random scale or patch of them, each a drab grey. Her eyes had no irises, just giant pupils, her hair was a shocking white. Somehow in this bar Lorne had found another lost soul, creatures damned by the knowledge of their state, but unable to affect it. People like Angel could try to stop the apocalypse, most of the mortals were blissfully unaware of the true nature of the horrors befalling them, but Lorne, Lorne knew what was happening and couldn't do a thing about it. He downed the last of his seventh sea breeze, or maybe his eight, and signaled the bartender.

"Another breeze for me and for the lady…"

"Another screwdriver,"

The bartender, possibly a vampire, went to complete their orders.

"So, who was the worst?" Lorne asked, determined not to think of Angel.

"Of my unwise loves?"

Lorne nodded as their drinks arrived.

"Gee, there were so many. I guess the worst were the ones I didn't know, couldn't help. I could only watch, powerless to touch, but loving for its own sake."

"You lost me sugar." Lorne said, though he was beginning to suspect what kind of demon she was. He tried to remember if she had touched him.

"I'm telepathic. One touch, your whole life story fills my head. I see all, I feel everything. I love who you loved, love you, feel you, it hurts, but I need it." She smiled at her glass. "I know what's coming, because you do, and though it seems severe in its… presentness, I feel the past with equal severity, because it is just as recent to me. Try to remember those days of peace, they will bring you comfort in these trying times."

Lorne shook his head, smiling despite himself. "It just makes it worse."

"I love her to." Lorne almost dropped his glass as his hands began to shake. "I know it seems disrespectful, but I saw everything you saw. I love them to, and if I were you, if I could touch them… I would. I can only have other people's lives, never my own, if I had what you had, I would run to them. I would run and hold them and do what I could happy that I could be with them in the final moments, before we learn what lies beyond the barricade." She picked up her glass, knocking back the drink in a few gulps. "I have nothing but other people's memories, a worthless education, and a burgeoning insanity. My parents are dead, I have no friends, but if I did I would run to them, for there will not be another chance." The way she spoke was odd, she seemed aware of how insane she sounded, but didn't particularly care.

Lorne put his drink down, any possibility of him enjoying it gone. "You know what he asked me to do."

"You lost your innocence to maybe save the world, after his son lost his to a killer's lie, you can hardly fail to see how relativity comes in. Your wound is deep, but I beg you to let it heal. The window is closing and this room has no doors." Lorne wasn't in the mood for cheap metaphors, but his current overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia made this one feel real.

Lorne stood up, amazed that he even could. Go back to Angel, no, not possible. Yet somehow the storm in him was starting to subside. The idea of going to him, of being there, calmed him. There he would have a place, and there if his time came he might have peace, or at least something closer to it than the tremors that had overcome him moments before. "Will you come with me?" He asked, certain she would say no.

"I always hope they'll ask me," The woman said, who must have guided many lost souls before Lorne. "They so rarely do."

Lorne offered her his arm, which she took, and they walked out. "You know my name."

The woman smiled. "Teresa,"

"Beautiful,"

…

A present, for being so wonderful, for looking after her when mom died. That is what Nina had framed them as, the tickets. Tickets to a relaxing mother-daughter vacation that Nina wouldn't accompany them on because of a school project. What a delightful fantasy, that it was only that, that the tickets weren't really for the ark, for salvation. Why Nina hadn't gone with them even she wasn't sure. Still, there were no regrets. Her family was safe and Nina didn't care if she was rendered to little mini Nina pieces so long as that was the case. But why had she stayed? Why not go with them? It was a difficult question, one she wasn't sure she wanted the answer to. It wasn't for Angel, she knew that. Angel was great, a great friend, great in bed, just all-around great. That wasn't worth dying for. Whatever it was, Nina couldn't shake the feeling it was something… bad. She closed her eyes. She hoped demons didn't break into her house while she was sleeping and kill her, but a part of her didn't think that would be so awful. Part of her welcomed the idea. As she drifted to sleep she contemplated the truly terrifying idea that death might be the best case scenario for her. Then she dreamt.

She dreamt of a wolf with a golden coat, and blue eyes. The wolf towered over her and she, a wolf also, bowed in its presence. "Master, creator, dreamer of my existence, lead me to your will, so that I might serve you."

"In time, when all is made clear you will serve me, until then, you must seek the champion."

Nina wept at these words, which held no meaning for her. "I seek only you."

"You will find me when your worth has been proven."

"How may I prove it?" Nina begged. She scratched at her arms and chest with her claws. "If I give you all of my blood will it be proven?"

"I do not want you blood, I want the blood of the champion."

"It will be yours." Nina swore.

Before the wolf could reply Nina was startled awake by a sound coming from downstairs. She grabbed a flashlight, the power had gone out a couple of hours ago, and headed down. Nina was startled when she saw scratches on her arms below the sleeves of her nightgown. She tried to remember if any odd dream had provoked this reaction, but her mind drew a blank. Nina shined the light around the living room, where she saw an open window, but no window opener.

"Don't be afraid." The voice came from the kitchen.

Nina dropped her flashlight, but managed to suppress the scream that wanted out of her. The last thing she wanted was to ring the demon dinner bell.

"I'm not going to hurt you." The voice, a man, entered the room, picked up the flashlight, and then handed it to her. When she aimed its beam at him she saw a short blond man. "Hi," He said "I'm Oz, and I'm a werewolf to."

…

Angel surveyed the room. Last night he had been fighting for his life against every beast the senior partners could summon from hell to destroy him. This was scarier. The lobby was full of friends, allies, and people with nowhere else to go. Upstairs were even more people, kids from Anne's shelter, refugees looking for safe haven. Down here the fighters gathered, the people who knew what was coming and were determined to stop it. All of them looked to him. Even those that didn't trust him knew he was their only chance of surviving this. They would follow him into battle, a battle that could claim their lives. If it did, as it had Doyle's, Cordelia's, Fred's, Wesley's, the blame would be his. Awesome.

"Okay," Good start. "We can't delude ourselves into thinking this is going to be easy, this is end-times folks, recess is over." Kate responded with a derisive snort, but the others were hanging on his every word, even Rodney, even Spike. "First thing's first, that's finding out exactly what we're dealing with."

Angel considered the best possible phrasing of "I have no idea." Thankfully the lobby never had to hear it.

"I can help with that." Through the lobby doors, literally through, as they didn't open when the ghost entered, walked Wesley Windham-Price. "I have a pretty good idea what the senior partners' endgame is."

Angel stared for a few seconds, questions, so many, clamoring for space in his mind. Before he could react to this fantastic sight Kate cut right to the chase. "And that would be…"


	2. Sacrifice

"Well that's just… awesome." Gunn clutched his ribs in pain. He didn't know why, his whole body was in pain, what made his ribs so special?

"Excuse me," Kate said in a tone that implied she needed no excuse. "How do you know all this, and if you don't mind, how did you walk through that door."

"He's a ghost." Angel said, marveling at the insanity of it all.

"A ghost," Wesley hesitated. "Who works for Wolfram & Hart."

A few moments of perfect silence and then a burst of outrage. Rodney was the most vocal. "Bad enough to be working with demons, now we're consorting with the enemy!"

"Shut up!" Angel shouted, surprised when everybody obeyed. "Right then," Perhaps he should have thought of something to say before he silenced the room. "Wesley, you were speaking."

"Technically, none of us ever quit Wolfram & Hart. Don't worry though," Wesley said to Angel and Gunn's worried expressions. "The senior partners fired you both, but the new CEO offered to keep me on because she thought she could manipulate me. She offered to let me play both sides with the hope that at the crucial moment I'll slip up and reveal your hand. She's no delusions of where my true loyalties lie, but she plays her cards pretty close to the vest and has been able to trick me before. I guess she thinks she I didn't learn anything from the experience."

Angel sighed, he saw where this was headed. "Wolfram & Hart's new CEO is-"

"Lilah Morgan," Wesley affirmed. "Dead, but back in action."

"Awesome," Moaned Gunn.

"Hey guys," Lorne said, speaking up for the first time since his arrival bewildered, but pleased, Angel. "Remember the good old days when someone would die and you know… stay dead."

"No," Angel replied ruefully.

Wesley looked at Lorne, surprised to see him, when he said he wasn't coming back he had looked serious, more than that, dejected, as though he wasn't just leaving, but acknowledging he had nothing to come back to. Wesley knew the feeling.

"Speaking of where loyalties lie and what not," said Kate "Where do yours?" She glared at Wesley. "You say you're on our side, but you're on the enemy's payroll."

Illyria stood up, furious. "Do not question Wesley, he died for this cause, can you say as much?"

Angel felt the tension in the room thicken to an almost physical perceptibility. "Illyria sit down. Kate Illyria is right, Wesley's proven where his loyalties are, he doesn't have to answer your question."

"Proven to you maybe," Kate stood up and approached the ghost of Angel's friend. "You died, but who's to say you didn't know Wolfram & Hart would bring you back. Maybe this is all part of their master plan."

Wesley smiled at her, the smile frightened Angel, it reminded him of… Angelus. "I don't care what you think. Just because you were ahead of most of humanity in finding out the boogeyman lives in your closet doesn't make you special. You wear that scarf to hide the scar that reminds you every day what one slip-up can cost you. I've got a scar to, I got it the same way you did, trying to help someone. Every morning I'd envy the vampires who didn't have to see their reflections, because I got to see my failure every morning, just like you. You think that scar keeps you grounded, thinks it reminds you that in one moment you can lose everything. In one moment I did lose everything." Wesley put his hand to his neck, feeling the cold… something, not flesh, under which no blood flowed. He lifted his shirt to show her his fatal wound. "Wolfram & Hart orchestrated a grand scheme and that scheme destroyed my life, and you know what the worst part is?" Kate shook her head, more somber now. "They didn't even care. I was a pawn. My pain, my loss, wasn't even a pleasant bonus to them. I was nothing, a means to an end." Wesley touched the wound, the hole his life drained out of. "I died to stop them and am still as I stand here a means to an end, a monkey they think they can make dance. That's what they think of me, now," Wesley stared into her eyes and if hers were ice his were diamonds, hard, cold, unfeeling. "What do you think they think of you?"

Kate stood there for a moment, and then turned and walked back to her seat. "Make no mistake, with a few notable exceptions," Wesley looked at Angel and Illyria. "None of us means a thing to the senior partners. At most you are a pawn to them, a puppet to be played with. Accept this, because even though the concept in daunting, this is our greatest strength. Anne,"

Anne almost jumped out of her seat in terror at hearing her name called. "The senior partners don't know who you are. Even Lilah who you've met has probably forgotten all about you. You're invisible Anne, you can do anything and they won't even notice. Angel takes two steps outside this door and Wolfram & Hart has eyes all over him." A disturbing notion Angel hadn't fully considered. "You leave and they don't bat an eye. The senior partners see us as lesser beings and when we rally to prove them wrong they will be caught unawares. This is not just our greatest strength, it is our only strength. So trust me, don't trust me, I don't care. But you will listen to me because if you fail to exploit this strength to its fullest potential you will die, not ghostly dead, dead dead. Is there anybody who doesn't understand?"

The silence that enveloped them all was complete, and heavy. Lorne felt it like a thick blanket weighing on him, hunching his shoulders. Wesley was different somehow, changed, death will do that to a person he supposed but…

"You should all get some rest." Angel said

One by one the denizens of the lobby headed upstairs to claim rooms. Somehow Lorne knew he was supposed to stay. He clutched Teresa's hand and squeezed it, hoping she would to, hoping she would anchor him. Looking at the remainders he saw Angel, Spike, and Wesley as the obvious candidates. Kate was the outlier, she stayed not because she should, but because she wanted to, and maybe that was why she should. Lorne was surprised Gunn and Illyria had left. Gunn left because he needed to heal and that was understandable. Illyria left perhaps because she sensed she should, or maybe she was bored. The violence appealed to her more than the planning of the violence. The six of them appraised each other, two demons, two vampires, a human and a ghost. Lorne knew a joke with that set-up, but he sensed it wouldn't be appropriate.

"I don't believe we've met." Angel said, looking at Teresa.

"You haven't met me." She said "But I know you. I'm telepathic, and I have many memories of you from your friend who met you as you journeyed to save one prophesized to do great good. That's a good first impression."

Angel gave her a skeptical look, then looked at Lorne and shrugged. If he trusted her she must be okay. "Is there anything you didn't want to say in front of the group?" Angel asked Wesley. "Any sensitive information we need to keep quiet."

"Yes," Wesley said without hesitation. "But I can't tell you here or now."

Angel nodded.

"So to recap," Said Spike "Wolfram & Hart plan to enter this dimension by blurring the boundaries between it and their own with demonic energy. The process has already started and gotten to the point where no human can leave L.A. though they can still enter. Soon L.A. will be in phase with their dimension enough for one of them to cross over where he can complete the sacrifices necessary to bring over the other two. Then they plan to rule our dimension with an iron fist spread suffering, disease, untold horrors across the globe. I miss anything?"

"The Wolf, who I believe will be the first to cross over is not human, but takes the form of a beautiful woman when it wishes to appear as such, so if you're going to refer to it with gendered pronouns she would be more accurate." Wesley said

"Right," Said Spike "But other than that I'm spot on."

"Don't forget the inspirational speech." Lorne joked, aiming for levity and falling short of the mark.

"Ra, ra," Spike couldn't sound less enthused.

"They need something to hope for," Wesley whispered "Otherwise…"

"They'll end up like you." Spike spoke with a startling bluntness.

"Spike," Angel said with a voice full of anger.

Wesley remembered the sharp pain, the spreading numbness, the knowing, the peace, the terror. In that moment he admitted to himself that he had been wanting to go for a long time, and in that moment he admitted he wanted to stay. Illyria had showed up to help him move along, to give him his lie that would ease the passing. But there was no passing. Wolfram & Hart got in the way, just like they always did. "We have to stop them Angel."

Angel was stung by the bitterness he heard in Wesley's voice, so much pain in every word. "We will."

"They'll destroy the world."

"We won't let that happen."

Wesley nodded, appeased. If anyone could do it… "I should be getting back, I'll return tomorrow."

Angel nodded, wanting with all his heart to say something, unable to think of anything.

"Wesley," Lorne called out.

Wesley stopped, but didn't turn around.

"I'm glad you're back."

"We're all glad you're back." Angel added.

"I'm not," Wesley admitted "But thanks; that means a lot." He was gone.

"He changed." Kate whispered, thinking of the man who used to work for Angel, a man she would have described as naïve, a term she could never apply to the man who just left.

"We all did." Angel said

"So fearless leader, plans?" Lorne asked

Angel opened his mouth to speak before he realized he had nothing left to say.

"We need to get the civilians to safety." Kate said

"Right," said Angel "We rest tonight. In the morning we break into groups, search and rescue operation. They can't leave L.A. so we bring everyone back to the hotel, and hope it's big enough to hold all the refugees. Once we've got the innocents situation under control we can worry about where Wolfram & Hart plans on finding this demonic energy. I can't imagine the side effects will be anything lovely."

"I can't imagine the side effects of the thing that's going to cause the apocalypse will be good." Kate sarcastically echoed him.

She was starting to get on his nerves and Angel had half a mind to set her straight on who was in charge and who was just along for the ride. "Kate," When she looked at him Angel saw something shocking. Beneath the bravado, mistrust, anger, there was fear, pure and plentiful.

"Yes Angel," Snide as ever

"Welcome to the team."

…

"I felt like I had to come, something was calling me. I figured it was my werewolf instincts." Nina nodded as she listened to the stranger's story while they ate the ice cream from the freezer before it melted.

"Maybe that's why I stayed when my family left, my werewolf instincts."

"Your family knew something was coming?" Oz asked

"No, I did." Nina bit her lower lip. "It's complicated."

"I understand." Oz said in the most genuine way she'd ever heard that phrase said.

"I know it sounds like B.S.-"

"It's cool," Oz assured her. "You'll talk about it when you're ready."

"How did you know I was a werewolf?" Nina asked

"I could smell you." Oz tapped his nose to illustrate."

"Is that a werewolf thing, I mean can all werewolves do it?"

"If you're trained." Said Oz "I learned how in Tibet."

"Can you teach me?" Nina practically begged, unsure why she was so eager to learn about her werewolf heritage. Of course there wasn't much else to do here anymore.

"Sure,"

Nina smiled. "Thank you Oz."

"No I-" He frowned, as though unsure about what he was about to say. "I think I'm supposed to teach you. Maybe that's why I'm here."

…

Illyria did not enjoy having the stranger as her partner. She had no fighting skills and her words were annoying. She spoke of things Illyria had no knowledge of, books, songs, and movies. Illyria barely knew these things existed as concepts, much less of the individual ones. She wished to silence the annoying creature who was prattling on about something called spin with allowed the universe to work by stabilizing electron clouds. Illyria remembered her promise to Wesley not to kill. Yet killing demons had never been a problem and this troublesome creature was part demon.

"There is someone in that house." Teresa pointed ahead.

"How can you be sure?"

"I sense their fear." Teresa started to run. "Come on!"

Illyria hoped a demon, an evil one that she could definitely kill, was praying on the person inside. Killing something would relieve her anxiety.

…

"I want to know what happened to Fred, the truth."

Lilah looked up from the paperwork spread out on her desk, none of which she had to proofread, and there was no blood in sight. What an excellent day, she thought. Here was Wesley to make it even better with his pathetic mewling. "Did you finish translating the text I had sent to your office?"

"No, and I don't give a damn if I ever do. Fred. Answers."

Lilah smiled, how was the rest of the day going to compete with this excellence? "The truth is complicated and has many parts. I don't know all of them."

"Well why don't we start with what you do know and work from there?"

Lilah chuckled. "I'll tell you one part now, one when you finish translating that text, and one when you feed Angel some false information to throw him off the scent of what we're really doing." Lilah opened a file and placed it in front of him. "It's enchanted like your books, the pages will turn when you wave your hand over them." She said, aware he couldn't touch anything corporeal. "I didn't want you to see this file, you snuck a peak, yada, yada, and Angel goes running of on a wild goose chase."

Wesley considered. "I do this, you tell me how to save Fred."

"Everything I know."

Wesley looked at the pages, the people in the photographs looked so innocent, was that really necessary for a fake file only he would see? "Fine,"

Lilah sighed. "You can't just agree, you have to actually do it."

"I will," Wesley said. "He'll show up and chase some wild non-existent geese."

"Oh these geese exist." Said Lilah "These people really are going to be sacrificed, just not to for any real reason. Angel has to think your information is good. While Angel is distracted saving this bunch the real sacrifice will be taking place. He won't be looking for it because he thinks he already found it."

Wesley hated how pleased with herself Lilah looked. "Sort of over-complicated everything didn't you? Angel wouldn't even know there was going to be a sacrifice unless you had me tell him."

"I figured you already did. Smart guy like you knows there aren't many other ways to conjure forth that kind of demonic energy." Lilah said. She had no intention of hiding the enjoyment she derived from mocking him.

"Fred," Wesley demanded

"No human soul can survive the fires of rebirth ignited to clear the way for Illyria."

Wesley was outraged. "But you-"

"Wasn't finished," Lilah cut him off. "Fred's did. Her soul is not intact, but it is complete. Every piece no matter how big or small, every piece of her mind and soul is there. That's why Illyria was and is defective. She should have killed you all by now and claimed this world as her own. Illyria has been tainted by Fred's humanity, which also caused the glitch in her powers that necessitated you taking them from her. This world survives only because of the strength of Fred's goodness and if that isn't enough to make a person ill I don't know what is."

Wesley was silent for almost a whole minute. "Does Illyria know this?"

"No," Lilah said "Why does it matter?"

"It just seems like she would know."

"Illyria knows her own mythos, knows a soul surviving her rebirth is impossible. Why would she suspect the impossible?"

"I suppose," Wesley thought over his interactions with Illyria. All of them were colored by Fred, all of them affected by her humanity. Was it possible Illyria knew and hid the truth to avoid giving up her new body? "If it's impossible-"

"I don't know how Fred's soul survived and that's all you get until I get a perfect translation of my fun new text." Lilah said, putting an end to Wesley's questions.

"Yes mam," As Lilah watched Wesley storm off she regretted her death for the first time since she came back. If they both had a pulse she would be all over him.

"Can't have everything in life." She mumbled to herself. "Or death," she amended with a chuckle. What an excellent day she was having.

…

"So," Rodney aimed his crossbow at a pool of shadow, but it was devoid of any dark creatures as the rest of the area, which on an overcast day such as today Rodney expected to be covered in vampires. "How do you know the bloodsucker?"

"We go way back," Rodney heard the unmistakable bitterness in her voice.

"So he's you ex?"

Kate turned to look at Rodney, her face contorted in an expression of horror. "What? No, that's disgusting. He's dead." Kate shook her head as though trying to dispel unwanted images. "Me and Angel…I'd rather stake myself."

So maybe not absolutely unmistakable. "Sorry,"

"Whatever, let's just focus on the job."

Rodney nodded. He tried to think of a way to appease the woman he would be spending the rest of the day with. "So are you single then?"

"Wooden stake, in my heart."

This day was going to suck.

…

"Instructions on how to properly perform the sacrifice. You should have told me you knew the subject of the text, it would have made translation easier."

"Oh but how I enjoy watching you squirm lover."

Wesley was furious. "Every moment you waste is a moment-" Wesley cut himself of with an internal reminder that not only did Lilah not care about Fred, but his suffering was just further enticement for her to draw out the whole affair.

"Come on sweetie, absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Wesley tried to bite his tongue. "If that were true you'd think I'd at least like you by now." He failed.

Lilah's smile widened. "You're so cute when you're indignant."

Wesley was ready to pull his hair out and had a brief moment of wonder if he could do that in his incorporeal form. "You owe me information."

"I don't owe you anything, you work here, you draw salary, you were just doing your job." Lilah leaned forward, trying her best to look seductive. "Everything else is just extra."

Wesley couldn't contain his vexation. "You said-"

Lilah threw her arms in the air. "I give up. You're a man with a one track mind. Does he care about old lovers rising from the dead? No. Does he care about the sacrifice of dozens of innocents? No. All he cares about is poor sweet little Fred trapped inside the big bad Illyria."

"My information,"

Lilah sighed. "Not a bite, not even a nibble." She leaned back in her chair looking at the man whose bed she had laid in so many times. She always knew it wasn't her he wanted and to be honest that was part of the appeal. She enjoyed playing the temptress, steering Wesley away from the path of righteousness and the miss. Goody two-shoes who represented it for him, and into the dark brambles that were, well… that's where the images get a little to smutty for the workplace; they still had psychics working here after all. The virgin-whore complex, which she had first read about in intro to psych back when she was eighteen and a gifted college freshman, fascinated her. Lilah enjoyed being the whore, though in truth she hadn't been with many men. She enjoyed being the bad girl because, well, it made her feel free. No one expected her to be good, to be kind, or to put other's needs before her own. Wesley least of all expected that. He knew at the end of the day he would only get what was convenient for her to give him. The whore may get screwed a lot, but at the end of the day Lilah knew how to screw back, and twice as hard.

"There is no magic in this dimension or any other the senior partners know powerful or delicate enough to find all the pieces of Fred within Illyria, much less put them together. Before you demand a loophole save your breath. That's all you get until you complete your mission at Angel's." Lilah smirked.

"Fine," Wesley said "I'll leave now."

Lilah waited until he was almost out the door, pretending to be busy reading a file. "No you won't."

Wesley stopped. "Why?"

Lilah waited for him to turn around and look into her eyes. She put her elbows on her desk and rested her chin in a cup formed by her palms. She smiled like a silly school girl. "Sacrifice isn't for another three weeks, we don't want Angel informed until the last minute, so he doesn't have time for preparation or research."

Wesley knew what she was doing. He had fallen for it and he hated himself. "I have to wait three weeks to hear how to save Fred."

"That's right." Lilah couldn't contain her sunshine smile.

Wes stormed through the door, past Harmony's desk, and into the staircase.

"Wait! Wait up Wesley!"

Wesley ignored the blond vampire running after him.

"Hey wait."

Wesley cursed himself as she caught up.

"Didn't you hear me?"

"Yeah, I was ignoring you."

Harmony faltered, but continued to follow Wesley. "I want to tell you something."

Wesley withheld his biting comment. He was for all intents and purposes a corporate spy. Any information, even dribble from the likes of an idiot like Harmony could be useful. "Go ahead."

"I miss the way things used to be."

That caught Wesley by surprise. "What, when you were human?"

"What, no way! I love being a vamp. Eternal beauty and all that, it's great. I just mean… That is to say…" Harmony sighed. "I liked W&H better when Angel ran the joint. Yeah he never let me drink human blood, but I don't know, the place was just a lot more homey back them. People were friendlier. Not it's all 'apocalypse this' and 'apocalypse that' and a girl gets sick of hearing about the apocalypse pretty fast. Plus I mean, what's so great about the apocalypse? If all the humans are dead I won't get to drink any anyway so we might as well just have Angel back."

Wesley now knew it was possible for ghosts to have headaches. "Harmony," he sighed "Was there a point in there… somewhere?"

"Watch the p-word mister, but yeah. What I'm trying to say," Harmony lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Is I want to join you guys, I'm anti-apocalypse."

"Wow," Wesley couldn't resist the sarcasm. "This might just be the turning point in the battle between good and evil."

"You really think so?" Harmony gushed.

…

"So what's the deal with the telepath?" Spike asked as he and Lorne roamed the streets. The original plan had been for Spike and Angel do keep their search underground until nightfall when they could surface, but when morning came and dark clouds covered the sun they decided to hit the streets like everyone else. Angel tried to evenly distribute the big muscle, putting the vampires and Illyria with the three members of their group that had no or very little combat experience. Spike had ended up with Lorne.

"She helped me find my way."

Spike nodded as though that were a satisfactory answer. "She seems a bit off."

"You're a vampire trying to save the world, how more off can one be?"

Spike considered that for a moment. "That's a good point." He sniffed the air, falling back into his hunter's instincts with ease. "But I didn't just start fighting the good fight for no reason. There were factors. I'm wondering what hers were."

"Being able to experience a lifetime with a touch probably does strange things to a person's development. That being said, don't touch her." Lorne warned "The death and mayhem can't do her psyche any good, especially since we're already in hell, or close enough."

Spike looked around. "Yeah, but the beasties seemed to have cleared out of this area."

"I wasn't going to come back you know." Lorne said

"That's what you said." Spike recalled

"I'm not a fighter. Violence is part of what I was trying to escape when I left Pylea. I guess it's sort of ironic that I had to sacrifice one of the things I love most about this world in order to protect it." Lorne mused "I didn't want to be this. I'm a singer!"

Spike stopped in front of an abandoned warehouse. "We make sacrifices for the things we love, sometimes saving them means never being able to have them, or in your case enjoy them as you did before. That's okay though." Spike kicked down the door to reveal seven terrified people huddling in the corner. "That's love."

Lorne watched Spike enter the warehouse and tell the people within of supposed safety at the Hyperion. He knew what the vampire was really talking about, Buffy. Buffy was what had started these changes in him, she was the one he had sacrificed to save. His greatest sacrifice turned out to be Buffy herself, who he couldn't have. Lorne considered telling him she was coming. No, better to let it be a surprise.

"So where are all the monsters?" Lorne asked.

…

Angel picked up a metal pipe and swung it into the snake-like creature trying to get past him. Angel didn't know if its fangs were poisonous or if the poison could affect vampires if they were, but he had no intention of finding out. Angel threw his trusty stake at the beast, which lodged itself just below the head. Angel ran toward the creature, swinging the pipe at its teeth, hoping to shatter its most dangerous weapon. The snake creature used its tail as a whip to knock Angel flat on his back.

As the creature reared up to impale the vampire with its fangs it let out a cry of pain. Standing on the monster's back as it flailed to and fro was Conner, having stabbed the creature's eye with Angel's stake. Conner pulled the stake out again and used it to remove the beast's head. It fell to the ground dead, while Conner stood up and tossed Angel back his stake.

"I'm sure you could have handled that without me." Conner teased "But I felt like a good tussle." Seven refugees emerged from behind Conner. One of them, who Angel recognized as Conner's other father, was helping Anne to her feet.

Angel couldn't hide his grin. "Conner,"

"I can see this is a bad time." Angel turned around to see Wesley. "But "I have some very important information."

"Of course," said Angel "Conner I-"

The boy smiled and shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere."

Angel was still grinning as he followed Wesley to the alley where no one could see or hear them. "Lilah wants me to feed you false information."

Angel nodded "Naturally,"

"We need her to think I did."

Angel was confused. "You don't think she'll suspect you tipped me off?"

"Lilah thinks she has me on the ropes, we need her to keep thinking that."

Angel frowned. "Is this what you couldn't say last night? Can you tell me now?"

Wesley nodded. "But you should keep it to yourself."

When Wesley finished explaining about the two sacrifices and what Lilah had promised him Angel was speechless. "Wes…"

Wesley was silent. He knew what Angel was going to say, knew it needed to be said, but he didn't want to hear it.

"Do you think we can trust Lilah?"

"I think she's telling the truth, and even if she isn't we have to take the chance."

"Of course," Angel agreed without reservation. "If there's even the slightest chance that we could save her we have to take it. We have to risk it."

"I'll figure out what I can about the second sacrifice, but come that day you need to be at the fake sacrifice saving those people."

Angel nodded. "Understood,"

"I have to get back, oh-" He remembered Harmony, hardly worth mentioning, but he might as well. "And Harmony wants to join our side."

Angel couldn't withhold a chuckle. "Harmony, well she could be useful."

"You never know." Wesley said with little conviction.

Wesley left and Angel went to rejoin his son. Angel wished Conner was anywhere but in L.A. but if Angel said he wasn't ecstatic to see his son well, that would be a lie.


	3. Battle Scars

Gunn swung the battle ax he had used to cleave many a demon in half with barely enough force to slice a watermelon. His arm screamed in pain. Cursing himself and his weak mortal body Gunn set the ax down. He touched one of the many bandages holding his torn body together. Anne had changed them for him, making sure the wounds were clean.

"Why do you torture yourself?" Illyria asked as she came downstairs. "Your body will heal no faster for the pain you inflict upon it."

Gunn shook his head. "I can't stay here anymore."

"You are leaving them?" Illyria queried. Gunn thought he heard a trace of sadness in her voice but chalked that up to his imagination.

"No, I just meant I need to get out of this hotel. I need to run around, kill some demons."

"That's Charles Gunn for you," Rodney said as he to descended to the lobby with Anne close behind him. Gunn felt a pang of jealousy. "Can't keep him down long."

"Unless you kill or paralyze him," Illyria said

"You shouldn't be doing that." Anne said, ignoring the awkward look the two men shared over Illyria's strange comment. "You'll exacerbate your condition."

"I'm fine." Gunn huffed "Besides if I have to sit through another meeting with the grand council I'll lose my mind."

Rodney chuckled. "They really call themselves that?"

"No," Gunn shared a moment of laughter with his old friend then stopped when he thought over what Rodney had just said. Angel, Kate, Wesley, and Conner were in the basement right now talking strategy. Gunn was always welcome at these meeting, his input always taken into consideration, but Gunn wondered if he was still part of the inner circle. The injuries he sustained the night they went against the Black Thorn had prevented him from actively participating in the group's activities. Was he still in the loop?

"Maybe I should take a look at that." Anne suggested, gesturing to Gunn's… everywhere actually. He still sometimes marveled at the fact he was alive.

"Nah, I'm gonna go check on the grand council."

Rodney chuckled some more. "Man you're a hoot."

As Gunn approached the group he heard a heated argument. "The text was very specific."

"The text could be fake." Kate responded to Wesley's assertion.

"I would know if it were fake." Wesley said in an offended tone

"So you think it was a coincidence Lilah had you translate that text?" Kate asked

"No," Said Wesley, frustrated "She wants us to know when the sacrifice will take place. She wants us to be sure we've stopped it. That way the Wolf will already be in this dimension and partially through the ritual to bring about the Ram by the time we've realized our mistake."

"She doesn't think you'll tip us off?" Kate sounded skeptical and Gunn was to. Lilah was a lot of things, but not stupid. Why would she trust Wesley?

"She doesn't think I'd risk it."

"Risk what? What aren't you telling us?"

Angel spoke up. "Wesley told us everything he knows, if he says the sacrifice is in eleven days than it's in eleven days. That means we have less time than that to figure out where it will be and how to stop it while I'm elsewhere stopping a different sacrifice and without Lilah finding out Wesley tipped us off. We can't let that happen."

"Once the sacrifice has been stopped why does it matter?" Kate asked

"Stopping the sacrifice won't stop Wolfram & Hart." Gunn said, alerting the group to his presence. "They'll just come at it at a different angle. We can't afford to lose our connection to them. If Lilah finds out whatever she's holding over Wes's head isn't enough to make him betray us she might just cut her losses and cut him loose."

Angel nodded. "Gunn's right, we have to make sure Lilah doesn't find out Wesley tipped us off under any circumstances."

"But our number one priority is stopping the sacrifice." Kate insisted

"There can be no compromise." Wesley insisted "This isn't one or the other, we must accomplish both of our objectives."

"Is it even possible?" Conner asked "I mean if the sacrifice doesn't go as planned she'll know we did something."

"We'll just have to employ some creative thinking." Angel said, feeling overwhelmed.

"Gunn you should sit down, you look tired." Gunn took Wesley's advice, examining the ghost as he did. He was glad Wesley was concerned. Over the last few days as they had tried to figure out the senior partner's plans Gunn had noticed a lack of anything resembling emotion coming from Wesley. He worried Wes was losing touch with the world.

"It might help to know-"

"No," Wesley cut Kate off. "You don't need to know what Lilah is holding over me."

"Somebody should know." Kate objected

"I know," Angel said "It isn't relevant."

"Everything is relevant." Kate insisted.

"You don't need to know." Angel's tone did not invite argument.

"Because you say so?" Kate argued anyway. "Why exactly are we following you? You are the reason this is happening. You upset these demons and invited their wrath. Maybe someone else should take over, someone whose plans tend to lead to less carnage."

"Who?" Wesley's voice was full of scorn. "You?"

"What about that blond guy, what's his story?"

Angel, Gunn, and Wesley burst into simultaneous laughter. "Spike?" Gunn choked out between guffaws. When the laughter petered out Angel and Wes shared a look and started up again. The idea of Spike leading anybody...

"Hey," Angel said "Has anybody seen him lately?"

…

"The streets are red running." Teresa approached Spike, who was standing on the edge of the Hyperion's roof. "Wine stains everywhere,"

Spike chuckled. "Look normally I've got a thing for loony girls, but your boyfriend gave me strict instructions not to touch you, so be on your way."

Teresa stood next to him, staring down at the alley below. "That's where it happened."

"Yeah," said Spike "Our great defeat."

"But you stood. So few ever get a chance, to stand as the waves roll in. They are beat as the mountainside, powerless to stop the tide. Yet still they stand. You are a rare few."

"Real interesting," Spike said "How many life stories have you collected since you got here?"

"None, can I have yours?"

"Like I said-"

"He's not my boyfriend. Though I do love him, and you. You returned tenfold the kindness done unto you. You did this not for gain or lust, but pure-hearted affection."

"What are you talking about?" But Spike knew.

"Fred,"

"Listen love, you seem like a nice girl, but do me a favor and don't ever say that name."

Teresa was silent for a few minutes. It was nice to just stand next to a person, feeling their quiet acceptance. Spike scuffed his shoes against the edge of the roof. "It's still fresh."

"You hide your pain, like a dirty secret, but it isn't. It's pure and sweet. When you share it, the sting will lessen. Especially when you share with those who feel similar pain."

"They don't understand. My suffering isn't as real to them."

"Because they knew her longer." Teresa guessed.

"They don't understand how I felt." How could they? Spike had known Fred for months, they had known her for years. Gunn had dated her and Wesley was in love with her. They didn't understand that Fred had given him something special. She had believed in him when she had no reason to. She had been kind to him, wanting to save him when others had given up.

"You feel you let her down, but you didn't. You did what she would have wanted."

"Let her die?"

"So that others may live." Teresa confirmed

"Wes said the pain was intense, said her guts melted." Spike clenched his hand in a fist, his nails cutting into his skin. "A fire inside, I can't imagine how bloody awful those last few moments were. Probably worse than drinking holy water would be for me."

"There are worse pains in life than the physical. She would not have been able to live with the knowledge of what you had done. The guilt would have killed her slower and more painfully. Entire families wiped out on her behalf, how could you taint her thus?"

"We could have kept it a secret, bared the burden for her."

"You speak nonsense." Spike found humor in the irony of that statement. "She was not a child or a fool to be shielded or deceived in such a way."

Spike sighed. "It seems sometimes like this world reaches inside you and takes out all the good. It takes the love, the beauty, leaves the pain and sorrow."

"But it leaves scars that we might remember by, they do hurt, but they hurt well."

Spike tried to conceal his smile. "Has anyone ever told you you're crazy?"

"Lots of people, some of them were even talking to me."

…

Anne walked down an aisle of the abandoned supermarket, gathering whatever she could find that hadn't reached its expiration date. Rodney was supposed to be guarding the door, but he was spending as much time staring at Lorne as the street outside. He hadn't wanted a demon to tag along, but Lorne had insisted on helping. Anne was grateful for the assistance.

"Hide!" Rodney said in a terse voice. Anne and Lorne wheeled their carts to the back of the store to hide behind the shelves.

"Don't be scared," Lorne tried to assure Anne. "I'm scared enough for the both of us."

Anne gave Lorne a small smile that disappeared when she heard voices in the front.

"I know this one, he fancies himself a big bad vampire hunter." A cruel voice mocked.

"Yeah," A woman who sounded bored replied "So when do we eat him?"

Lorne peaked around the shelf. A beautiful woman with long blond hair was standing next to a Hispanic man and a guy whose fashion sense had never left the eighties.

The Hispanic man was the one who had spoken before and he did again. "After we make him watch us devour his girlfriend." The vampires started into the store.

Rodney aimed his crossbow at the eighties vampire but the blond grabbed it and slammed it against his head. Rodney stumbled and the Hispanic vampire caught him. Rodney struggled, much to the blonde's amusement. "Anne run!"

"That's our cue." Said Lorne "Let's go."

He grabbed Anne's hand and the two of them bolted into the back, running down aisles made of crates. The vamps weren't far behind, jumping onto the crates and chasing them down from above. Blondie jumped down in front of them, cutting them off. Eighties and the Hispanic vamp had them trapped from behind. "You can go demon," Blondie said "Your blood's no good." In response Lorne grabbed Anne's hand, causing the blond to shrug.

"Whatever, we'll just take your head off and use it to decorate the apartment."

From above a few crates toppled onto eighties and the Hispanic vamp, Rodney came rushing in from the adjoining aisle and drove a stake into eighties.

"That wasn't supposed to happen!" The Hispanic vamp cried, furious and shocked. He grabbed Rodney and threw him against the crates, causing more to topple down.

"Ricky," Blondie warned

Ricky threw Rodney into another pile of crates. "Yeah, I know." Ricky approached Rodney, who was struggling to stand.

Blondie grabbed Anne and started to drag her off. Lorne made a brief attempt to free Anne which ended with him on the floor, his face bearing four slashes from where Blondie had clawed him. Ricky dragged Rodney of in an opposite direction. Lorne felt the blood dripping down his face and neck. He tried not to panic, tried to think of some action he could take, but he was drawing a blank. Struggling to his feet Lorne headed after Blondie.

…

Conner was surprised by who had knocked on his door when he opened it to reveal Illyria. "Um… Can I help you?"

Illyria entered the room uninvited, shocking Conner's family. "Conner who-"

Illyria cut off Conner's mother. "Wesley won't speak to me."

"Geez um, Illyria right?" She nodded. "I don't know what to tell you. I don't know Wesley that well, at all really."

"He died, but returned. I have experience with this, but he will not talk with me. He is supposed to be my teacher, but he ignores me."

"Well…" Conner looked at his family, who were still stunned by the presence of this strange woman. "It seems like he's dealing with a lot, trying to work through the whole death thing. Plus, there's the spy thing, it's a lot for one person."

"I could help." Illyria demanded "I stood up for him when the annoying woman questioned him. This is loyalty is it not?"

"I suppose," Conner said

"You see him often in the meetings. How does he seem?"

Conner fidgeted. His parents had accepted without question that his abilities meant he had to help Angel, that this was the only way to protect the entire family. However he worried they would begin to suspect there was something more than a professional relationship between Conner and Angel. Illyria being here did not help matters. "Fine,"

"And your Fa-"

Conner cut Illyria off. "Listen Illyria, it's rude to just barge into people's homes, or uh, rooms. Maybe Wesley isn't talking to you because he is frustrated with you, for being so… You don't consider other people's feelings, only your own."

Illyria stared into Conner's brown eyes with her cold blue ones. They looked so empty, it was unsettling. When Conner had received his memories back after the wizard's spell broke he had received memories of Fred. She had taken care of him like a mother the summer Angel spent at the bottom of the ocean, tried to help him mature. When she learned what he had done she had reacted in a fury, hurt by his betrayal. In Illyria's eyes he saw neither warm loving Fred, nor furious bewildered Fred, just a dark hole. "I see." Illyria turned around and left.

"Who was that?" Conner's mom asked, stunned

"Nobody," Conner said "Just somebody who works with Angel."

…

Gunn sighed when he looked up from his painful weapon's practice to see Illyria once again. Was she stalking him? "Where is Wesley?" She demanded to his relief.

"Wolfram & Hart, trying to figure out their evil plan."

"The boy says he is frustrated with me, I wish to know why."

Gunn was confused. "Who, Conner?"

"Yes, he said Wesley is angry with me for not considering other's feelings."

Why would Conner say that? He didn't really know Wesley or Illyria. "I don't think that, I think he's just distracted. Conner really said that?" What was he playing at?

"He seemed most agitated by my pr-"

"Rodney!" Gunn shouted when he saw his friend enter the hotel leaning on Lorne and Anne. "What happened?" Gunn rushed over to the group, feeling a sharp pain in his everywhere.

"Vampires," Lorne explained.

"You should be so proud of Anne," Rodney grinned form beneath his bruises. "She dusted herself one evil bitch." Anne looked away.

Gunn reached for Anne and pulled her into an embrace. She buried her head in his chest and sobbed. "Shh," He comforted her "It's over."

Gunn continued to hold Anne as they followed Lorne, who helped Rodney onto the couch. Illyria watched from a distance. "Are you feeling hurt?" She asked Rodney.

Lorne and Gunn have her an odd look. "How could you tell?" joked Rodney

"Your injuries are painful?" She further inquired

Lorne gave Gunn a questioning look, he just shrugged. "Yes," Rodney said "And I hate to admit it," he looked at Lorne. "But green here really helped me out. Got some cuts of his own on that weird green skin of his to show for it." He hesitated "Thanks,"

"Don't mention it." Lorne said dryly, unimpressed by Rodney's half-assed attempt at offering an olive branch.

"What were you guys doing?" Gunn demanded "Why didn't you come get me?"

"Gathering food, people got to eat." Rodney said "Figured you were busy."

Gunn felt a pang in his heart which Anne sensed. "You're hurt, you shouldn't be going out. We thought we could handle it…" She trailed off.

"Guess not," Rodney said with a sigh. "At least we're all okay, even green."

Lorne looked away in disgust. When he did he saw Conner running down the stairs.

"Illyria, can I talk to you?" Conner asked

She nodded and the two walked away. "Be right back," Gunn said, following the two.

"I'm sorry," He heard Conner say "About what I said before. I just needed to get you out of my room. My family doesn't know the truth about me and I need to keep it that way."

"You were worried I would reveal your secret." Illyria said, no inflection in her voice.

"Yes," Conner was relieved that she understood.

"So you did not consider my feelings." Still no inflection.

"Yeah I guess…" Conner realized what she was saying.

"I'm sorry," Conner said, and was surprised to realize he really meant it. "I'm sorry I didn't consider your feelings, but you can't tell my family who I really am."

"I will not."

Conner smiled. "Thank you Illyria, and if I see Wesley I'll tell him you want to talk to him. I'm sure he isn't mad at you, just distracted."

Illyria nodded and walked off. She strode right past Gunn without a glance. Conner on the other hand was surprised to see him. "You heard all that?"

Gunn nodded.

Conner looked away. "Do you remember that summer? I do now, you tried to raise me, like a son. You didn't know what I did and you tried to raise me for Angel."

"Yeah," Gunn said "Strange times,"

"These aren't?" Conner smiled at Gunn when he said that. Conner never did that before the memory spell. Not that Gunn could recall.

"No they are, they all are. People like us don't get normal times."

The smile slipped off Conner's face. "I did, I want to again, with my family." He paused, searching Gunn's face for understanding. "They are my family. I know it's fake, but it's not to them, or to me. It's as real as the other stuff, the stuff that happened."

"Do you know what I wish you could remember?" Gunn asked

Conner shook his head

"When you were a baby, we all loved you so much. Angel, you were his whole world, he would do anything for you; we all would. We all tried to protect you and-" Gunn cut himself off, he couldn't say the next part, it would be too cruel. He couldn't say that was what ripped them apart, drove Wesley away. He couldn't say Conner was indirectly responsible for all of this, Wesley leaving, Jasmine coming, being offered Wolfram & Hart, Fred's death. "And then you were gone and the world wasn't right anymore. Angel broke down, you were everything to him."

"You think I'm just going to cast him aside." Conner marveled

"I do," Gunn said

"I won't," Conner said "I can't. He is my father, he is a part of me." Conner thought of what Angel had sacrificed to give him a better life. "Always will be."

"I'm glad to hear that." Gunn clapped Conner on the back. "Welcome back."

"Yeah," As Gunn walked back over to Rodney, Anne, and Lorne; Conner surveyed the lobby with a new understanding. This had been his childhood home, this had been his real nursery; this and one of the rooms upstairs. "Yeah,"

…

Wesley looked up from the text he was deciphering to see Lilah standing in the doorway of his office. "Can I help you?"

"I just like watching you." She whispered

"You can't use a magic mirror or something to do that?"

Lilah chuckled. "Do you want to see something cool?"

"Not really," Wesley said

"You'll like this." Lilah assured him. "Trust me."

"Only as far as I can throw you," Wesley promised "And since I can't even throw a pebble in my incorporeal state that isn't very far."

Lilah chuckled, a mournful laugh. "Come on Wesley, where's your sense of adventure?"

"I'm a bit busy figuring out the exact method of execution the twenty-one innocents you are going to slaughter have to endure for your evil plan to work. That is my job isn't it?"

"Take a break." Said Lilah "You work too hard."

"Lilah," Wesley locked eyes with her. "Go away,"

Lilah frowned. "How about this? I'm your boss, let's go."

Wesley stood up, right threw his desk. He stormed into the hallway and waited for the grinning Lilah to turn around and lead the way. She looked so happy, and so mournful. She led him into the basement to show him her special surprise.

Wesley was frozen in horror. "Why would you show me this?" He stared at the body under the Plexiglas lid of the machine keeping it preserved. For some absurd reason he was reminded of Snow White, maybe Lilah was going to kiss him and wake him up. Wesley looked at the dark bloodstain on his shirt. He looked at the closed eyelids. He stared at the scar on his neck and remembered how he got it. He had thought he was going to die, die and never get a chance to tell his side of the story. Now he wished he had. "I wish she had."

"What?" Wesley remembered that Lilah was there.

"Killed me that is, Justine."

Lilah nodded. "Oh yes, poor misunderstood Wesley, surely death would have eased your pain. Death would heal your wound. Well you're dead Wes, feel healed?"

"Go to hell." Wesley said

"Been there, done that." Lilah reached for a plastic bag on a nearby table. "Your effects, what you had on you when you died." She pulled out his wallet. "I kind of hoped, but I didn't think…" She opened the wallet and pulled out a dollar bill. The signature on it was easy to read.

"Kind of hard to spend a disfigured bill,"

"That's the excuse you're going with?" Lilah was amused.

"What do you think that is Lilah? Do you think is proves something? Do you want me to say that I cared about you? Do you want me to say I loved you? You're evil Lilah. You hurt people, innocent people. You act as though you cared for me, but you brought me to this God-forsaken place, the place that killed me. You don't care about anybody but yourself and I could never love you. You're incapable of love, and therefore incapable of being loved."

Lilah looked at the bill in her hand, looked at her signature. "You think you know me."

"No, and you don't know me." Wesley insisted.

Lilah tore the bill in half and watched the pieces flutter to the ground. "You're right."

As she stormed out of the basement, pausing only to shut off the lights Wesley stood there lying to himself. He stood in the dark and replayed the image of her tearing the bill in his head over and over again. He watched her do it a million times and pretended he didn't feel as though the disfigured currency was his heart.

…

Kate sat at the edge of the courtyard fountain, staring at the dry concrete, remembering. "I want to ask you something." She asked a surprised Angel who didn't think she had heard him enter the courtyard. "I want to know something." She continued to stare at the concrete.

"Okay,"

"Do you remember two hundred years ago? Can you still remember after two centuries?"

"Yeah," Angel said, remembering the horrible things he had been doing.

"You wish you could forget." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah,"

"I wish I could forget. Do you know what I wish I could forget?"

"That you ever knew me?" Angel guessed.

"That I ever didn't know you." Well that was unexpected. "I wish I could forget that I ever didn't know about vampires and demons, that I ever wasn't a fired cop, that my dad ever wasn't dead. If I could forget my life used to be something more this wouldn't be so bad."

"Kate-"

"If nothing we do matters, all that matters is what we do. Did you even put two seconds of thought into that?"

"It was kind of an-"

"It sounds so stupid. I kept telling myself that. I hated you, still do, but those words… they gave me hope. I didn't want them to, but they did. I wanted to forget those words, forget that I had hope. It hurts Angel." Kate looked up at him. Angel could now see she wasn't wearing her scarf, could see the scar where the vampire had bit her.

"How did you get away?"

"Spare stake in my coat pocket. It was six months after I had talked to you. Never let a vamp get that close to me again after that. Never." She gave him a meaningful look.

"It's okay to be afraid." Angel said, unsure of where to take this conversation.

"I'm not afraid. I was, I was terrified. Then today I was with Spike on a search and rescue and we climbed to the top of a building to get a look at the surrounding area. Not two blocks down in the direction we had been headed was maybe fifty demons. They were huge, some were covered in spikes, some had long tails, some had fangs, but they were all huge. If we had stumbled upon them I wouldn't be talking to you right now. In that moment I wasn't afraid anymore. I know now that I'm going to die. I'm not afraid."

Angel stared at Kate as she turned back to the dry concrete. He stared in horror. She had given up, she had nothing left. She kept fighting because that was what needed to be done, but she had no expectations. She couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel, only more darkness waiting to swallow her hole. "Kate, there is still-" Something occurred to him. "By the way, Spike's a vampire as well, figured you should know."

He didn't see her roll her eyes. "I know, he told me. I didn't let him get close to me either and I keep an eye on him as well as my surroundings."

"Oh, well anyway, there is still a chance. We can beat this."

Kate shook her head. "Even if we win, it will just be more suffering, more fighting. We'll never be free, we'll fight until we die. There is nothing else to look forward to."

"There is." But Angel's words lacked conviction. What Kate had said struck close to home, calling to mind the sacrifice he had to make to deceive the circle of the black thorn. He had signed away his only chance of ever becoming human. He had signed that away for this.

"What, what is there to look forward to?"

Angel tried to think, tried to push thoughts of Shansu from his mind. There was something, he knew there was. "Tomorrow, the next sunrise. We beat these guys, we hold them back, and the sun will rise again. The darkness will return to its hiding place and we'll be okay."

"It might not, the sun might never rise again. It hasn't for a while now."

"But it will, and you'll be there to see it. You have to live to see it, you have to want that." Angel pleaded with Kate, trying to give her what she needed to survive.

Kate didn't answer and Angel knew there was nothing more he could say. He left her to sit there, staring, remembering what she wanted to forget. It was a horrible experience Angel knew, but he couldn't save her from it, she had to save herself.

…

Lilah knelt down and picked up the two pieces of now worthless paper, hating herself for it. She couldn't bear to think of some janitor sweeping them up and throwing them away. She'd been afraid as she came down here that perhaps that had already happened. This was the only time she'd ever been thankful for lazy janitorial staff. She thought to herself that she needed to throw the bill away herself, but knew she wouldn't. He'd kept it, in his wallet. All this time he'd kept it. Was it to remember her by? She didn't know, told herself she didn't care.

Many stories above her Wesley sat in his office staring at the text he'd just finished translating. The blood of innocents, twenty-one to be exact. The blood must be spilled under the full moon in a mystical circle. The location of the circle had very specific criteria, criteria the location in Lilah's file didn't meet. With some cross-referencing and simple logic Wesley would have no trouble figuring out where the sacrifice was going to take place. Lilah knew this, knew he would be able to figure it out, and believed he wouldn't. The last piece of information he needed to free Fred depended on his silence. If he did remain silent, told Angel he wasn't able to figure out where the other sacrifice was going to be, Fred's salvation was guaranteed. Lilah was counting on him to make the compromise, to betray his friends, his ideals. He thought of Fred's final moments, her pain, her panic. He thought of losing her. "Not this time." He whispered.


	4. Two Truths and a Lie

"Kill me huh?" Angel said to Rodney "Not very creative."

"That's what he said. Kill Angel and the senior partners release the city." Rodney replied

"So why didn't you take the deal?" Angel asked "Don't tell me you're afraid of me."

Despite himself Rodney shared a smile with Angel. "Here's the thing about demons, I don't trust them as a general rule. But when it comes to choosing between demons like you and green or demons like the evil assholes who took the sun away from my city and turned it into a literal devil's playground… I choose you. I don't think they'd keep their word."

Angel surveyed the room, trying to gage everyone else's reaction. Everyone, even Kate, seemed to agree, except for Wesley. "The senior partners always keep their promises, but the loopholes tend to be worse than the situation you're already in. I'm sure the phrasing they used was 'leave the city' meaning first they have to cross over and be in the city, which would be quite bad. Then they raze it to the ground and leave to conquer the rest of the world."

"Yeah well I don't want that." Rodney said

"I should imagine not."

"I'm glad we've removed killing Angel from the agenda." Lorne said to the group as they were all gathered in the lobby. Rodney had said he needed everyone present to tell them what Ricky the vampire had said before releasing him. He didn't want Angel to think he was conspiring against him or couldn't be trusted, and he wanted as many witnesses as possible just in case Angel reacted strongly to the news. Rodney still didn't trust the vampire. "Was there another reason we gathered here or is that all?"

"While we're all here," Wesley said. "I figured out where the real sacrifice is going to take place. Does anybody have a map?"

"I know where one is." Anne stood up and headed for the stairs. "I'll be right back."

"All right Wes," said Gunn, he sounded proud of his friend "Way to come through."

"We still don't know how we're going to stop the sacrifice." Wesley pointed out.

"We know when it's going to be, we know where it's going to be, why don't we just show up and put a stop to the whole thing by rescuing the hostages." Kate said

"We're not doing that." Angel said before Wesley had a chance to "We need to employ a bit more subtlety. What's the exact procedure for the sacrifice?"

Wes explained the procedure for anointing the circle, the bleeding of the innocents, and the sacrifice of the acolytes. "This opens a portal to the hell dimension where the senior partners reside. The innocents are forced through the portal and the Wolf comes through."

"Acolytes, what's their story?" Angel asked

"Probably some of the demons from the senior partner's dimension that they summoned here. Lord knows there are plenty lying around." Wesley said

"But you're not sure," said Kate

"The text wasn't any more specific than acolytes."

"Maybe we can stop these acolytes en route to the sacrifice, make it look random. They can't perform the sacrifice without them." Gunn suggested.

"And you think they'll just let the sacrifices go?" Kate sneered

"Okay, how about this," Conner tried "We find the acolytes, we pretend to track them to the sacrifice, we kill the demons, and then free the innocents."

"Why were we tracking the demons?" asked Spike "Why didn't we just kill them?"

Anne returned with the map. "Took me a minute to find it." She spread the map out in front of Wesley. "The entirety of the L.A. area."

"Are you okay?" Gunn asked her, Anne looked ill.

"Still a little shook up, I'm fine." Anne assured him.

"So where is the sacrifice going to happen?" Kate asked

Wes hesitated "We still don't have a plan."

"We'll think of one." Angel said, but he wasn't too confident.

"Lilah is no idiot, this plan has to be flawless. Whatever we do to disrupt this sacrifice has to look like it went wrong on their end." Wesley insisted

Angel had a flash of inspiration. "Harmony!"

With great effort Wesley prevented himself from rolling his eyes. "We can't trust Harmony, she'd betray us in an instant."

"She'd break under even the slightest pressure," Angel agreed, recalling her earlier betrayal. "But Lilah has no reason to apply any. It's like you said, to the senior partners she's nothing; Lilah won't suspect a thing. We only need Harmony to remain loyal to us for a few hours after the sacrifice takes place, then if she betrays us it won't matter."

"I don't know," said Wes "It's risky."

"It's our best shot, you could tell Harmony to switch some ingredients in that anointment potion. Instead of working its mojo it will cause a crazy lightshow and then a smokescreen will go up. We rush in and usher the hostages out of there. It will look like they escaped on their own and even if someone sees us they'll figure we saw the lights and rushed over to investigate."

Wesley looked at Angel like he was a crazy person. "There are so many ways that could go wrong. Even if Harmony doesn't betray us, and that's a big if, Lilah will know someone tampered with the potion. She'll suspect we had something to do with it."

"I think this will work." Angel said "Trust me,"

Wesley looked into his friend's eyes and remembered not trusting him. He looked at Conner, who shouldn't even be three years old. He stood up. "I'm going for a walk."

"Now?" Kate was incredulous.

"Yes," Wes headed for the door.

Illyria started after him. "Illyria wait," Angel's command fell on deaf ears.

"What was that?" Rodney demanded

"Uh did we just lose Wes?" Gunn asked, unable to believe that.

Angel made a judgment call. "Everyone wait here. Gunn, Spike, Lorne meet me downstairs." Angel headed for the basement to a background of confused murmurs.

…

"Wesley wait," Illyria drew abreast of the man she had comforted when he lay dying.

"Illyria I want to be alone." Wesley insisted

"You have been avoiding me."

Wesley found that amusing.

"Why are you smiling? I do not understand."

"You never will."

"Explain it to me then."

"Illyria," Wesley clutched his head. Her emotionless voice was giving him another headache. Everything she said came out in that same otherworldly tone, but beneath it he could hear her. How had he not heard her before? "I can't teach you to be human."

"You were before. What has changed?"

"I'm dead Illyria."

"It makes no difference, you can still teach me. I need only your knowledge, which you retain. Only your physical presence has been affected by your death."

Something occurred to Wesley. "That's the opposite of what happened to Fred. Her body remains, but her mind was destroyed."

"Is that why you will no longer speak to me, because of the shell?"

Wesley stopped, turned, and looked at Illyria, at her cold dead eyes. "You became her."

"For you," Illyria remembered

"You said what she would have said, somehow you knew what she would say."

"I have many of her memories." Illyria reminded him

"Fred was human, you should therefore remember how to be human." Wesley started to walk away.

"I don't want to be Fred." Wesley stopped. "I became her for you, but I do not want to be her. I remember how she was, but they are just memories. They have no context, there is no understanding. She kisses you, and before she does she say 'screw it'. I don't know what this means. A screw is a device used to hold things together, but it also means procreation. What did she want to hold together? What did she want to procreate with? I don't know, I only remember that she said it. She said it and then she kissed you. I remember what she did, but not why. I can mimic her behavior but I do not understand it. I don't know what these memories mean. I don't understand any of the things in my head, I need to understand. Help me."

Wesley looked at her and for the first time since she came into the world he saw her. He didn't see Fred, Fred's body, or Fred's killer; he saw Illyria. Wesley looked at her and felt sympathy. She hadn't chose this. She had been pulled from her grave into a strange world with creatures she didn't understand. But she was trying. She was trying to make something of herself and showed remarkable potential. Illyria possessed many admirable traits, loyalty, strength, and courage among them. She had joined their noble cause and been an asset to it. Wesley felt a crushing guilt. As the days had gone by and Wesley analyzed the situation and its many variables he had realized one piece at a time that he would have to kill the woman who had comforted him as he lay dying. "I can't help you Illyria."

"Why?"

"I can't. I'm dead Illyria. I'm dead and I'm tired. I want to sleep." Wesley felt a single tear escape his eye. How was that possible?

"Then why did you choose to stay?"

"My friends need me." Well it was half-true.

"You died for them Wesley, what more can they ask of you?"

Wesley want to reach out and touch her. He wanted to feel skin beneath his fingers. "All that I can give. Everything I am belongs to them, they can have it to do with what they will."

Illyria tilted her head, indicating a lack of understanding.

Wesley headed back to the hotel.

…

The three men sat in silence, processing what Angel had just told them.

"If Lilah's just stringing us along," Spike said "I'll kill her. I don't care that she's already dead. I'll rip her head off and if that doesn't work I'll just have to get bloody creative."

"Hear, hear," Lorne declared

"Then we can find a way to bring her back and kill her again." Gunn mused

"Wesley thinks this is for real." Angel said

"We sure we can trust Wesley's judgment?" Spike asked

"We have to believe. If there's a chance we have to take it." Angel replied

"No question," Gunn said

"But I need to know." Spike said "Can Wesley be trusted to make the tough call? Is he too close to this? I've seen him lose it before."

Angel remembered, after Fred's death Wesley had gone off the deep end. He'd turned to alcohol just to get him through the day. But that wouldn't happen this time. "Wes only loses control when he has no hope, when there's no out. Now he has hope, he can do this. I trust him."

"I trust you too." The four of them turned to look at the ghost who had just appeared. "I'll tell you where the sacrifice is taking place. With a little tweaking we can start implementing your brilliant plan." Wesley steeled himself. "But you need to know, that Illyria is going to die."

Angel let the news sink in. "No problem."

…

"Illyria?" Conner stopped on the way to his family's room to look at the old one.

"Why are you just standing there?"

"I do not understand this feeling that I feel. Wesley died and I felt a pain, but it was not physical. Now he is here, but cut off from me, I feel as I did before. I do not understand."

"Love is a funny thing." Conner said

"I do not know what that is."

"Love? Nobody does, that's the point. We don't know what it is but we feel it."

"Your words are meaningless." Illyria stated

Conner sighed. "I don't always understand every feeling I have. I rarely understand some of them. It's okay to not know, that's what it means to be human."

"Teach me to be human Conner." Illyria commanded. But there was a softness to her order, a plaintive quality that wasn't lost on Conner.

"Okay," He considered this. "Would you like to have dinner with me and my family?"

"I would."

Conner offered Illyria his arm, which she only stared at, uncomprehending. "Put your hand on my arm." Conner explained.

Illyria obeyed. "What purpose does it serve?"

"I don't know, it's just part of being human."

…

Kate returned to the hotel from her patrol with Angel. Although she was still angry with him she appreciated that he let them complete their mission in silence. Kate still needed time to think. Rodney and Gunn were using the lobby to practice fencing while Anne watched. Kate walked over to the other woman and sat down next to her. "You mind?" Kate asked

"Not at all," Anne assured her

Kate took in the woman's haggard appearance characterized by sallow skin, bags under her eyes, and sweaty palms. "You don't look at all well." Kate noted

"I haven't been sleeping." Anne confessed

"Is this about the vamp you staked?"

Anne watched her two old friends fight their painful injuries as well as each other. "Yes,"

"You get used to it." Kate promised "It helps to remember they aren't human."

Anne nodded. "I'll remember that."

"Hey Kate!" Rodney called "When I'm done humiliating Gunn you want a shot at the title? You and me, what do you say?"

"Sure," Kate stood up. "I need the practice."

Gunn tossed her his sword. "Practice away, I'll take over your post."

"My post?" Kate was confused. What had she forgotten she that was supposed to be doing right now? Was she supposed to check in with someone after patrol?

Gunn took Kate's spot on the couch. "Keeping Anne company, an important job."

Kate smiled and approached Rodney. She wasn't an expert swordsman by any means, but she was quick and adaptable. The key to any form of combat was identifying the enemy's weakness. Rodney was cocky, and not very flexible, she could use that.

Gunn leaned back against the wall. "How do you feel?" Anne asked him

"Like I could use some of that vampire accelerated healing. There are moments I can't believe I survived. I was just a barely holding together bag of guts when Angel pulled me out of that ally. I guess I'm just too stubborn to die." Gunn smiled at her. Anne looked away, much to his confusion. "Are you all right?" Gunn reached for her hand and she pulled away.

"Look I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to-"

"No," Anne looked at him and gave him a weak smile, the best she could muster. "It isn't that. I'm just scared. I don't want to be. I have to be strong for my kids."

Gunn thought about the dozens of helpless teens upstairs. "You love those kids."

"I would do anything for them." Anne said as though she were trying to convince herself.

"You're wonderful, you know that?" Gunn reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. He smiled at her.

Despite herself she smiled back. "But I'm not a hero like you."

"I'm not a hero, it's all an act." Gunn assured her "I'm just a normal guy."

"You're a hero." Anne insisted "I'm proud to know you." This time it was Anne who reached for Gunn's hand and he took it. They sat in comfortable silence as they watched their friends trade blows, a complicated web of attack and defense.

…

Illyria stared at the metal device in her hand. It could be used as a weapon, though a feeble one. The ends were four prongs, sharp, but barely enough to pierce skin. The device fit naturally in her hand. The shell had used it before, not this weapon but another like it. She had used it to collect food and put the food in her mouth. Illyria looked at Conner who was engaged in similar behavior. Illyria pushed the device into the piece of meat in front of her. One of the shell's memories surfaced. After returning from the hell dimension Gunn had reminded her of the proper usage of this tool. 'You remember forks don't you?' 'Forks, pitchforks, fork it over, fork in the road.' Illyria picked up the device, bringing the meat along with it.

"Illyria?" She looked at Conner who, along with his family, was staring at her.

"Yes," She met his gaze.

"Would you like to cut your meat maybe?" Conner picked up another utensil, a much better weapon. This utensil was like a dagger with a dull blade. Illyria had one of her own next to her plate. She picked it up and used it to slice the piece of meat in half. "In my time," she recalled "We ate the flesh of our enemies while it was still warm, preferably while their soldiers looked on. This was a good recruitment method."

One of Conner's sisters pushed her plate away. "I'm not hungry."

"Well that was a lovely story Illyria." Conner's mother said "How old are you exactly?"

"I am older than the reign of mankind. I am Illyria the god-king and in my time I reigned over the earth. After my death I was sent to the deeper well, but my rebirth was foretold. My essence was put in the vessel of a mortal and I rose again to conquer the earth."

Conner's family stared at him. His sister moved her lips mouthing out the words 'who is this freak?' without actually making sound. "How's that working out?" Conner's father asked.

"I put aside an army before my death, so that when I arrived they would be ready. When I returned to earth my army had destroyed itself in my absence. Now I fight to save mankind."

"Why?" Conner's other sister asked "Why do you care about us?"

"I do not know."

This had a sobering effect on the table and when Illyria placed half a chicken breast in her mouth nobody bothered to correct her. They ate in silence and when dinner was over Conner escorted Illyria into the hall. "Your family does not like me." Illyria observed

"They don't understand you. They don't understand any of this." Conner said in way of explanation. "They don't know how to react to you."

"Should I not speak of my past, who I am?"

Conner considered this. "I don't know." He couldn't think of a better answer.

"You don't speak of who you are. Is that typical human behavior or unique to you?"

Conner flinched. "I do what I have to in order to protect the ones I love. I don't want my family to get hurt, not like…" Conner remembered Cordelia, remembered her lying on a bed immobile, her life force drained by Jasmine. "It's hard for me to keep this secret, but I do what I have to. I'm willing to make the sacrifice."

"Sacrifice," Illyria stood, pensive. "Why must we sacrifice? Why not just take what we want? Why do we have to trade one thing for another?"

"You can't have everything Illyria." Conner said "You try, and you end up losing everything. You have to decide what's most important to you and fight for it."

"I know what is most important to me." Illyria said

"What?" Conner was curious.

"He doesn't want me." Illyria looked almost human when she said that.

"I know what that's like." Conner said "I understand loving someone who can't love you back. I've been on both sides of that." He reached out, touching her shoulder.

Illyria looked at him, confused. "What does this gesture mean?"

"It means solidarity. It means that we're friends."

"We are friends then?" Illyria asked

"We are friends." Conner confirmed.

…

"Hello," The chipper voice invaded Spike's thoughts as he sat smoking on the roof.

"Hey,"

"What are you thinking about?" Teresa asked

"Why don't you just read my mind?" Spike said

"You don't want me to."

Spike threw the cigarette off the building, watched it fall into the alley below. "I wonder if that kid's family got out. Maybe rescuing him was pointless, maybe they're all dead."

"Saving someone is never pointless. If the child is dead, he got to die with people who loved him, instead of ones who were planning on eating him. That's something."

"It's something," Spike said sarcastically

"Why are you so sad?"

"The truth?"

"Please,"

"I thought I'd be dead by now." Spike said

"Are you disappointed?" Teresa asked

"A little bit." Spike admitted "This saving the world thing is a lot harder than destroying it. When I was evil you only had to do things once!" Spike exclaimed. "You kill a slayer, she's dead. Saving the world is like an annual thing. You save it, someone else shows up wanting to destroy it, or rule it, or something equally unpleasant."

"Doing the right thing is always harder." Teresa said "Or everyone would do it."

"I guess," Spike said

"I'm glad you're not the traitor."

Spike looked up, startled. He stood up and walked over to Teresa. "What do you mean?"

"I'll be sad no matter who it is, but I'm glad you're not the traitor. I like you."

Spike grabbed Teresa's arm through her long-sleeved shirt. "Somebody here is a traitor? Who?" He shook her. "How long have you known about this?"

"I had a vision just now." Teresa explained.

Spike pushed her away. "Oh you're just a bloody lunatic!" He said as she stumbled and fell to her knees. "A vision," Spike pulled out a carton of cigarettes. "Nutter,"

Spike was shocked to see as he lit his cigarette that Teresa was crying. She pushed herself to her feet and wiped away her tears. "I tried,"

"Tried what?" Spike pushed down his guilt.

"She gave me a chance. I wanted to be good."

"You are good." Spike assured her "Don't worry about me, I just get aggravated sometimes. I'm a big bully to tell you the truth."

Teresa shook her head and held out her hand. "Touch me,"

Spike backed away. "You don't want to see what's up here."

"I do," She insisted

Spike walked around her to get back inside. "Trust me," He said as he left.

"I do," She whispered to no one.

…

"Look at the busy little worker bee." Lilah taunted

Wesley looked up from the text he was analyzing at his cheerful ex-lover. "Lilah,"

Lilah sat down in front of his desk. "Work, work, work all day long. You are so dedicated. One has to wonder just why you still give a damn."

"This again?" Wesley sounded disappointed. "You're starting to sound like a broken record Lilah. Anyway you're the one that convinced me to stay."

"That doesn't mean I understand why you do."

"Yes you do." Wesley was exasperated.

"For Fred,"

"Ye-" Wesley looked at Lilah. Something was wrong. The way she had said those two words was wrong somehow. Wesley had heard Lilah many times, had felt her many times. He had been lied to by her in many different ways. When she said for Fred she was mocking him, but not his sentimentality. It was as if she no longer believed that was why he was here.

"What's wrong lover?"

Wes knew he had to tread carefully to get as much out of her as possible. "You wouldn't understand how I feel about Fred."

Lilah chuckled. "No you're right, I don't. Apparently you love her."

Wesley stood up. "I'm taking a break."

"Don't be too long lover!" Lilah called after him, oblivious to what she had given away.

"I won't." Wesley promised.

…

"Hi Wes," Gunn said as Wesley entered the lobby. He was taking his turn sparring with Kate while Rodney and Anne chatted on the couch.

"Get everybody down here now." Wes said "Angel, Spike, Lorne, Conner, Illyria, Teresa, get everybody down here." Gunn hesitated, looking at Kate. "Now!"

Gunn headed upstairs without question. "Wesley," Anne said

"What's your problem man?" Rodney asked

"We have a traitor in our midst."

Anne gasped. Kate examined Wesley, eyes probing his face. "Are you sure?"

"Lilah knows I told you about the second sacrifice."

"How?" Rodney asked

"Somebody told her." Spike said as he came down the stairs. "Somebody here has gone over to the dark side, stabbed us all in the back."

"What's going on?" Angel asked as he came up from the basement. "A traitor?"

Soon the group was assembled in the lobby. "Lilah knows," Wesley repeated. "She knows I told you the first sacrifice was a fake and she knows I told you how to find the second one. Any chance we had of saving Fred is gone!"

"Fred," Conner said "I thought she was-"

"There is no way to save Fred," Illyria interrupted. "She is gone."

"You're a liar!" Wesley shouted "Fred's soul wasn't destroyed." Wesley spoke with more calm, but even more anger. "Fred's soul is trapped inside of you, that's why your powers were so unstable when you were reborn, you had a human soul trapped inside you. That's why you feel some affinity for humans, why you stopped trying to take over the world when your army was destroyed. There is nothing human about you Illyria; that was just Fred trying to get out. You're a monster. You pretended to care about me all this time when you knew Fed was trapped inside of you. You pretended to love me."

"I did not pretend." Illyria stated

"It doesn't matter." Wesley's voice was cracking and tears were spilling from his eyes. "I trusted all of you, and now Fred's gone. Lilah knows, it's over."

"The hell it is." Said Gunn "First order of business, find the traitor, wring their traitorous neck. Second order, we will find a way to make Lilah give Wesley that information. Maybe we can trick her into thinking the traitor gave her false information."

"Rodney," Spike remembered something. "That vamp Wolfram & Hart sent to make you an offer, you sure all he wanted you to do was kill Angel?"

"Are you accusing me of something bloodsucker?" Rodney stood up, furious.

"There will be no accusations!" Angel declared. "Everybody is going to sing for Lorne."

"Even you?" Kate asked

"Even me," Angel's voice was firm. "Everybody sings, no exceptions. Nobody leaves this room until they've bared their soul to Lorne."

"What if green is the traitor?" Rodney asked

"Hey, hello," Lorne said, waving at Rodney "I'm standing right here and I have a name."

"I don't think we can trust anything this guy says." Rodney said "He can accuse anyone and we have no way of backing up what he says. I ain't singing for no demon."

Angel walked up to Rodney, the distance between them was only a few centimeters. "I am only going to say this once. Everybody sings. Anybody who doesn't sing gets thrown in the cage down in the basement." Even though Angel was using a menacing whisper everyone could make out each word he said. "Everybody sings, no exceptions. Got it?"

Rodney held Angel's gaze. "Best get out of my face vamp."

Angel grabbed Rodney by the throat and threw him against the wall.

"Angel!" Gunn shouted "Come on man!"

"Everybody line up!" Angel shouted. He pointed to one side of the lobby. "When Lorne clears you walk over there." He pointed to the opposite side. Angel waited for everyone to line up then dragged Rodney in front of Lorne. "Rodney here is going to sing first."


	5. The Killing Moon

Oz looked at Nina's naked body, watching her pant. When he looked at her he didn't see a woman's naked body. He saw something older than sex, older than gender. When he saw her he saw raw power. The wolf was back inside, but only just beneath the surface. It ran under her skin, flowed through her bloodstream. In her muscles, in her breath, the wolf made its home.

"I can control it now." She said in awe "I can control the transformation." She looked at Oz and blushed. The world came rolling back in. Nina was a woman again. Oz was a man. He looked down and this was apparent. "Our clothes are back at the house." Nina remembered.

"Right," Oz started in that direction, walking in front of her so he wouldn't have to keep averting his eyes from her nakedness.

"We could change again." Nina suggested "You could teach me how to guide the wolf to where I want to be."

Oz considered this. "I think we need to wait until the wolf has slept before we bother her again. Once we're human we need to be fully human before we change again."

Nina accepted this without question. "I've come so far in such a short amount of time."

Oz grinned. "You have,"

"No wonder with such a great teacher," Nina said

"I give the credit to the student. You took a lot less time than I did to come this far."

"It's not me." Nina insisted "You can feel it too can't you?"

"The wolf is stronger." Oz said "Yeah I know."

"That's why we have to keep letting them out. We can't let them build up their strength or we'll lose control. We have to keep practicing, keep getting better."

"Because something is coming." Oz said as they came into view of Nina's house.

"You'll help me face it?" Nina asked "You'll stay with me?"

Oz didn't reply right away. A serious question like that deserved a serious answer, it deserved a definite answer. To promise Nina that he would stay by her side during the upcoming events would be the strongest commitment he had ever made. Was she worth that to him? Oz had only known one person before he would have made that kind of commitment to.

…

"The earth is full of energy, just like the human body. There are channels that intersect and split up. When we connect to the earth we feel that energy. Try to feel it." Willow pressed her hands against the earth, bits of grass tickling her palm. She could sense the energy running through the earth, maintaining balance. She was one with that energy, one with that earth.

"I don't feel anything." Kennedy said. Willow opened her eyes to look at her lover. Kennedy was trying, eyes closed, hands on the ground. She went through the motions with all diligence, but her spirit wasn't in them. "It's not working."

"Control your breathing." As experienced as she was Willow was able to look at Kennedy and give her directions while still being connected to the earth's energy. This was because on some level she was always connected. It was a delicate system of give and take that allowed Willow to control her powers. "You are a part of the earth."

"This is no good Will. I'm a slayer, not a witch."

"A slayer's power is mystical in origin." Willow reminded her girlfriend

"Doesn't mean I'm any good at magic." Kennedy insisted

Willow closed her eyes. "This isn't about magic." She said as she dipped in and out of the earth's many energy wells. "This is about balance." Speaking of which, something was out of balance. Willow let her energy be carried by a new current, one running where it had no business being. The energy here was screaming with wrongness. A dark pool was coming up and instinctually Willow tried to pull away, but the current was too strong. Willow couldn't open her eyes or move her hands, she was trapped. A pool of demonic energy, upsetting the flow of every current that had ran near its location, was sitting like a tumor in the earth. It wasn't connected to the earth's life system. It was foreign and unwelcome. Willow felt her skin catch on fire. She screamed and the demons laughed. The flames grew higher, images forced themselves into her head like a brutal violation. A knife entered her gut. Willow screamed as the blood flowed.

"Willow! Willow!" Willow's eyes snapped open and she was looking at Kennedy's horrified face. Willow was shaking and covered in sweat. Kennedy was straddling Willow, a knee on each side of her hips and was holding Willow's dirty hands to her chest. When Kennedy had been unable to rouse the screaming shaking Willow she had tackled her and forced Willow's hands from the earth, bringing with them clumps of dirt and grass. "Willow, baby, say something." Willow continued to shake, tears running down her face. "Baby please."

"Burning! Oh God the burning! Make it stop baby please make it stop."

"It's over baby." Kennedy leaned down and kissed Willow, letting her feel her pure clean energy. "It's over." She continued to kiss her. "You're safe." Kennedy let go of Willow's left hand and brushed her hair away from her face. "I will never let anything happen to you."

"It's burning! I can see them." Willow's body shook with the force of her sobs.

Tears began to leak from Kennedy's eyes. "Who did this to you?"

"L.A. is in hell. I can see them. They're dying." Willow closed her eyes and fell still, silent tears still dripping onto the ground. "We have to help them.

…

"Thunder only happens when it's raining. Players only love you when they're playing. They say women, they will come and they will go-o. When the rain washes you clean you'll know, you'll know." Kate finished the chorus to Stevie Nicks' _Dreams_.

"She's clean." Lorne said

Kate walked over to where Rodney was leaning against the wall massaging his neck.

Teresa walked up to Lorne. "Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men. It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again. When the beating of you heart matches the beating of the drums there is a life about to start when tomorrow comes."

Lorne looked confused. "She's clean."

"You don't look so sure." Rodney said

"If he says she's clean she is." Angel approached Lorne. "Morning, just another day. Happy people pass my way. Looking in their eyes I see a memory. I never realized how happy you made me, oh Mandy. Well you came and you gave without taking."

Lorne flinched. "Beautiful Angel-cakes, you're clean."

Conner followed his father. "Well she was an American girl, raised on promises. She couldn't help but thinking that there was a little more to life somewhere else. After all it was a great big world, with lots of places to run to yeah." Conner looked at Lorne.

"Uh-oh," Lorne said

"What?" Conner looked terrified and everyone's eyes were on Lorne.

"You're clean, but…"

"What?" Angel asked "Is something going to happen to Conner?"

"Let's focus on the task at hand, this can wait."

Angel was frustrated by Lorne's caginess, but he was right in that it wasn't good to get distracted from such a delicate proceeding. "Okay, Spike you're next."

Spike walked up to Lorne mumbling under his breath. "Bollocks, if I was going to betray you I would have long ago." He glared at Lorne.

"Whenever you're ready." Lorne spoke with forced pleasantness.

"Early one morning just as the sun was rising I heard a young maid sing in the valley below. Oh, don't deceive me, oh, never leave me. How could you use a poor maiden so?"

"Clean," Lorne declared to Spike's murderous glare.

Gunn approached Lorne. "Fair warning, first person to say anything dies."

"Just get on with it ya bloody wanker." Spike insisted

"Three little maids from school are we. Pert as a school-girl well can be. Filled to the brim with girlish glee. Three little maids from school. Everything is a source of fun. Nobody's safe, for we care for none. Life is a joke that's just begun. Three little maids from school."

"Clean," Lorne said "And you've nothing to be ashamed of Charles, you have a lovely voice." Lorne chuckled nervously at Gunn's furious expression.

"Who's next?" Lorne said cheerily "Ladies?"

Anne looked at Illyria nervously. "I uh…"

"Don't be afraid sweetie," Lorne assured her "It's a perfectly painless process."

"Yeah enough alliteration." Spike said "Just sing so we can all get on with our lives."

Anne swallowed hard. "Oh where, oh where can my baby be?" She whispered "The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world." Anne stared at her shoes.

"You're clean sweetie." Lorne assured her "See, nothing to worry about."

Anne walked over to Gunn and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight.

"Illyria," Angel's voice was cautious.

"I will not sing." Illyria stated. "I will not demean myself."

"Come on blue," Spike said "We all demeaned ourselves."

"I refuse to bring myself down to the level of you lower beings." Illyria insisted

"I thought you wanted to be more human." Conner said

"I will not debase myself by opening my mind to you."

"It's not your mind." Said Wesley "You stole it from Fred."

"If I stole it then it is mine." Wesley wanted to do something, react in some violent way to those offensive words, but he was just a ghost. He couldn't even touch anyone.

"Illyria," said Conner "If you sing then everyone will know you're not the traitor."

"I think it's fast becoming obvious she is the traitor." Said Rodney

"Illyria," warned Angel "You have to sing or we put you in the cage."

"You may try." Illyria challenged

Angel looked at Spike, the blond vampire nodded. "Illyria," Angel said as they began to head toward her. "Nobody thinks you're the traitor."

"I do," Rodney piped up. Gunn elbowed him in the ribs.

"Prove Rodney wrong." Angel said "Sing for us."

"That mortal's feelings have no consequence to me. I do not care what he thinks I am any more than I care about the desires of the Wolf, Ram or Hart. I would not betray you to those simpering fools." Illyria insisted "But if you choose to think I would," Illyria deflected a blow from spike and threw Angel to the other side of the room. Spike tackled her. She kicked him in the groin. "It matters not to me."

"What about me Illyria?" Conner asked "Do you care what I think of you?"

Illyria did not respond. She shoved Angel away as he approached her, but he kept his stance. He went as if to hit her but withdrew at the last moment. "Afraid mortal?" She jeered.

Spike approached her from behind and wrapped him arms around her. "Come on you stupid trollop let's cooperate now." He grunted as Illyria attempted to break free.

"Can we get some rope?" Angel asked as he grasped Illyria by her shoulders.

Kate ran behind the front desk to get some.

Angel stared deep into Illyria's empty eyes. "Last chance, cage or sing?"

Illyria spat in Angel's face. "You will regret this betrayal."

Angel wiped the spittle from his face. "Right, cage then."

Kate helped Angel tie up Illyria while Gunn went downstairs to open up the cage. Spike, Kate, and Angel forced Illyria into the basement and threw her into the cage. Angel slammed the door shut while Kate clicked the lock. "I will escape from here and tear out your treacherous intestines." Illyria promised. "I will feed your eyeballs to you and bleed you dry. I will boil you in your own fluids!" She began to shout as they headed upstairs. "This cage cannot hold me half-breed! Your life is forfeit! Dogs will not see fit to lick your ashes when I am done with you!"

When the four of them returned to the lobby Angel noticed that Wesley was gone.

"Was that necessary dad?" Conner asked

"I'd bloody well say it was." Spike said as he adjusted his testicles

"Spike man," Gunn said "New invention, called privacy."

"I've got nothing to be ashamed off." Spike insisted. Kate and Anne shared a look while Teresa snickered. Lorne looked at her, baffled.

"Dad," Conner said "I don't think Illyria did it."

"Had to be her," Rodney said. "She didn't sing."

"Neither did Wesley or Lorne," Conner pointed out.

"Can't sing for myself kiddo," Lorne reminded him "But thanks for the accusation. As for Wesley I can't read ghosts."

"I'm not accusing you or Wesley." Conner insisted "I'm just saying not everyone sang."

"I'm sorry Conner," Angel said "I know it's hard to be betrayed by someone you trust-"

"I know you do," Conner interrupted "You don't have to bring that up."

"Conner no," Angel insisted, horrified Conner thought he was talking about him. "I di-"

"I get it." Conner ran upstairs followed by an unlikely member of the group, Teresa.

"I think he wants to be alone honey." Lorne's warning fell on deaf ears.

…

"How are things over at Angel Investigations?" Lilah asked as Wesley returned to his office. She was sitting on his desk, grinning.

"I don't know."

"Do you really expect me to believe that isn't where you went?"

"I didn't say I didn't go there." Wesley said "I said I don't know how they are."

"And you don't particularly care?" Lilah guessed

"I didn't say that either." Wesley wasn't sure why he said that. Because it was true?

"Honesty from the man of dark secrets," Lilah feigned surprise. "What brought this on?"

"There's no point in pretending Lilah," Wes sneered "We found the mole."

"I figured she'd crack under pressure." Lilah said

"You did?" Wesley didn't think any kind of pressure could get to Illyria and was surprised Lilah thought it would. "For what it's worth she didn't."

"Oh," Lilah was intrigued "What happened?"

"Wouldn't sing for Lorne," Wesley explained

"Stupid twat," Lilah snickered "I had that vamp give her the drugs that would let her pass any psychic screening. I guess she just got nervous."

Illyria, nervous… Wesley thought back to the lobby, a voice whispering in his brain. 'Oh where oh where can my baby be?' "How did you get to her anyway?"

"You mean you didn't figure it out the moment you caught her? You're slipping Wes,"

"I'm not the man I used to be." Wesley admitted truthfully

"It was the vampire attack. You really think that weak little girl could dust a vampire?"

"It was fake. You hedged your bets on the two members of the group with the least loyalty to Angel, Rodney and Anne."

"You're taking this pretty hard huh?" Lilah said "Losing your chance to save Fred?"

"No," Wesley realized "I still have a chance to save Fred."

Lilah raised an eyebrow. "Go on,"

"Angel has no idea who the traitor is."

…

Oz looked at the white porcelain plate and the stew on top of it. Canned green beans, minced garlic, canned black eyed peas, and canned spinach were some of the few things at the house they had left. Oz pushed the food around with his fork.

"I know it's not that great," Nina said "The dining options in the apocalypse aren't-"

"Yes," Oz said, looking up and locking eyes with Nina.

"What?" Nina was confused

"I thought about what you asked. As long as you want me to I'll stay by your side."

"Why?" Nina asked

"We have a connection."

"What kind of connection?"

That was a good question. It was more than the wolves inside them. It wasn't a sexual connection. Were they just really good friends? "I don't know, let's find out."

"Together," Nina smiled

"Together," Oz scooped stew into his mouth

Nina fidgeted happily in her chair. It was ironic that in a time of so much uncertainty she felt more stable than she had in a long time, even before the werewolf bite. Nina knew who she was, a wolf. She was learning to control the wolf, or guide to be more accurate. She was discovering more about herself and had someone who she trusted to help her on her journey.

"Nina,"

"Yes," Nina said immediately

"How did it change you?"

Nina didn't have to ask Oz what he meant. "It didn't change me a lot. I had help managing my condition and for all but three days, well nights, of the month I was just the same old Nina. But I did feel different. There was this whole other world I knew nothing about. I mean werewolves, vampires, magic puppet creatures-"

"I want to hear that story," Oz interjected

Nina chuckled "It's pretty funny. So this whole other world was opened up to me and it changed my perception of things. Who was one lowly liberal arts major in a world that had stuff like that in it? Most people never even know this stuff exists, but all of a sudden I'm a part of this world and I've no delusions that I'm not on the bottom rung."

"So you were humbled?" Oz asked

"In a way…" Nina bit her lip "In a way not. I felt alive, I felt this world open up to me that had been closed off and I wanted to explore it. I wasn't sure how until…"

"Until now," Oz finished

"Until I met you." Nina elaborated

"Who helped you manage your condition?" Oz asked

"This law firm Wolfram & Hart, their CEO Angel helped me."

Oz gave Nina a funny look. "Huh,"

"What?" Nina asked

"Was this Angel a vampire?"

"Yeah," Nina was surprised "You know him?"

"Um-hum," Oz said "Only the last time I saw him he wasn't a CEO, or a lawyer, or gainfully employed in the strictest sense of the word. I guess a lot changes in five years."

"I guess," Nina said "What was he doing when you knew him?"

"Oh, trying to prevent an evil vampire from getting a ring that made him immortal,"

"Aren't vampires already-"

"Immune to stakes and sunlight," Oz explained

"That's no good," Nina said "Whatever happened to it?"

"I think he destroyed it or hid it or something. So Angel's a lawyer now?"

"He's not really a lawyer. He just runs the law firm and uses their recourses to fight evil, it's like a magical law firm you know?" Oz nodded so Nina continued "Right before all of this happened, the sun going out and taking the power with it stuff that is; Angel gave me three tickets to get out of L.A. for me, my sister, and my niece. I gave the tickets to my sis, told her they were a thank-you for being so understanding about my unexplained weirdness. I told her I would explain when she got back. I told her to take a date or friend and go. I knew something was coming, probably apocalyptic in nature, but I gave away my ticket anyway."

"Something kept you here," Oz said

"Yes but…" Nina sighed "It's stupid."

"No," Oz said

"There is something here that is calling to the wolves, I feel that." Nina took a deep breath and then blew out all the air at once. "I could have left, knew I should. It was like someone wanted me to stay. It was like someone asked me to stay, told me I had a part to play and needed me to stay here. This benevolent presence, connected with me."

"I had a dream," Oz said "This girl I used to go to high school with told me to stop resisting, that it was okay to follow the wolf. She said he would lead me to someone and I was supposed to find this person. I forgot the dream, but I stopped fighting the wolf."

"Now you remember," Nina said

"You reminded me." Oz explained

"What if this is a trap?" Nina asked "What if we're being played for fools? Oz, I don't want to be a pawn in a mystical chess game. I may be on the bottom rung, but I'm a human being. I used to be anyway." Nina amended

"Still are," Oz said

"How do we figure out what's really going on?"

"There's only one way."

…

"Touch me," Teresa held out her hand to Conner as he walked toward his family's room.

Conner glared at her. "Go away,"

"I'm hungry," Teresa mewled.

"Go get something to eat," Conner said, disgusted

"I haven't eaten since I got here, no one will feed me." Teresa put out her lower lip like a pouting child. "I'm so hungry and you're so full of memories."

"You eat memories?" Conner backed up. Who all knew this?

"I don't take them. I see your memories, see them in your mind, but I don't touch. It feeds me to see. I've lived a thousand lifetimes in twenty-eight years. I've been all over the world and never left the United States. You've been to other dimensions Conner. Let me see."

"Get away from me." Conner threatened. "Don't come any closer."

Teresa started to advance on him. "I'm so hungry." She put a hand to her temple.

"Thought I could wait for a natural touch, but Lorne told everyone I can read their memories. They keep secrets. You have a secret Conner, let me taste."

"No,"

"I won't tell."

"Stay away from me!" Conner shoved Teresa's chest, touching only her clothes, sending her to the ground. "Do not come near me!" He continued toward his room but froze when he saw his mother staring at him, eyes wide. "Mom," Conner swallowed hard.

"Conner," She looked from Conner to Teresa.

"She's a demon." Conner said "Look at her scales, look at her claws."

"She's a bad demon?" His mom asked

"It's complicated." Conner explained. "It's all… so complicated."

Teresa stood up. "Bad things are coming that I'm supposed to stop. I can't think, I'm so hungry." She started to cry. "I'm supposed to tell."

Conner's blood ran cold. "Shut your mouth."

"Conner!" His mother was aghast.

"I'm not good at this." Teresa sobbed "I was supposed to warn, tell what I saw. I was supposed to tell, hold together, the broken pieces. I'm not crazy."

"I beg to differ." Conner snorted

"I see it!" Teresa clutched her head. "Don't do it!"

"What's going on?" Angel entered the hall. "What's with all the shouting?"

"Nothing," Conner said "I think Teresa has been lying to us."

Angel looked at the half-demon. "She sang for Lorne."

"She eats memories." Conner said

"Gimmie yours," Teresa held her hands out to Angel. "So hungry," she moaned

Angel backed up. "You eat memories? Lorne told us you read minds but-"

Teresa screamed, holding her head like it was coming apart. "Shut up! I changed my mind! I don't want this job! It's hard! I can't tell, to hungry! Give the job away!"

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Spike came up behind Angel while the rest of Conner's family entered the hall, standing behind his mother.

"Give it to him." Teresa pointed a shaking finger at Conner. "He's part demon."

Conner stepped forward and slapped Teresa knocking her down. "Conner!" Angel said.

Teresa grabbed Conner's hand and held it to her face. "Let go!" He snatched his hand away. "You freak! You don't belong here!"

Teresa sighed and rose again. "I can tell now."

"No!" Conner said "Don't say anything!"

…

The large green demon with mottled skin swiped its enormous claws at the wolves, but they were too fast. It had seen the young woman and desired to rip apart her flesh. Yet when he attacked she was gone, a wolf in her place. Now he was facing two werewolves. These wolves were different, all the strength of the wolf, yet with human intelligence. They had the wolf's cunning, but guided its skills with human will.

…

Lorne ran into the hall, Rodney, Gunn, Anne, and Kate right behind him. "Teresa we need to talk." Lorne said "I wanted to wait until you were alone but I don't think that's an option anymore." Lorne walked past Spike and Angel, extending his hand to Teresa. "Come on,"

"I have to tell." Teresa said

"No," Conner said "Lorne get her out of here."

"Tell what?" Rodney asked "What's going on?"

"I think we'd all like to know." Angel said "Lorne have you been keeping a secret?"

Teresa giggled. "I've got a secret nobody knows in a box made of gold and it tickles my toes. I've got a secret nobody knows and people scream not sing when it snows."

"Teresa," Lorne said "Please come with me."

"It never snows." She whispered "Never snows in Quor'toth."

"If you say one more word I'll kill you." Conner said

"Conner," his mother said "What's gotten into you?"

…

Oz looked at Nina's naked body and smiled, she wasn't a woman yet, still the power. He approached the demon they had slain. "It works for them."

"The ones who are doing this," Nina agreed

"We don't." Oz said "But I think they think we do."

Nina nodded. "Maybe that's good. Maybe that's our purpose."

A scream cut the night in half, or maybe it was day. In moments the wolves were out and running, being guided by their human minders.

…

"I know a secret wrapped in a bow. She loves. We always hurt the ones we love."

"Teresa," Lorne said "I don't know if you've noticed, but everyone is a little bit on edge today. The whole treachery thing is very upsetting." He took her hand. "Let's go."

"But I'm supposed to share my vision." Teresa whined

"You get visions?" Angel asked "Are they from the Powers That Be?"

"I have to tell my vision." Teresa said

"Okay," Angel agreed "We're all listening."

"Uh Angel-cakes-"

"Shut up Lorne." Angel said "We'll talk about the secret keeping later."

"Cordelia," Lorne said "Interested?"

"I saw-" Teresa began

"Hold up." Angel interrupted her. If his heart beat it would have stopped. What did Lorne know about Cordelia? "What are you talking about?"

…

There were five demons of various species before them. The two wolves worked perfectly in synch, as though they were two limbs of one body. There was a link between them, not telepathy. This wasn't minds, this was blood. The same blood ran through both of their veins and it sang. They howled to the killing moon. They asked for the power to kill, they asked the moon to accept their sacrifice. They felt power enter them, they were one with each other, and they were one with the killing moon.

…

"Teresa works for the powers, I heard it when she sang. I didn't want to tell you until I asked her why she didn't tell us who recruited her." Lorne explained

"Cordelia," Angel whispered

"Works for the powers," Lorne explained

Angel looked at Teresa. "She gives you visions."

"She told me about the hybrids. The powers recruit us to tip the scales." Teresa began to talk in an odd way. She replayed the conversation for them, mimicking Cordelia's voice in a pretty good impersonation for what she had said. "_Angel has worked with them before, their names were Whistler and Doyle. I'll send you visions from the powers. I can only help a little bit, but the visions aren't your main job. I love these people, I can't be there to love them. I need you to do it for me. That's why I chose you. You can't help but love everyone you meet. These people deserve your love. They can give you a real life, not just somebody else's. Do you understand?_ I'll fight evil? _You'll help the people that do._ I can't fight evil, I'm wicked. _Not anymore. You can do this Teresa. You just have to tell them about the visions I send you and keep them from falling apart. The bonds that unite them are their greatest strength. Protect those bonds for if they break the world is doomed. Start with Lorne, bring him back, you'll love him best. I saw that. Then Spike, he has the most potential to break away. But if you're not done with him when Conner's crisis comes you'll have to put it on hold. Conner is in serious danger. Next is Anne, then you'll just have to make your best judgments because there are too many possible futures after that. Remember Teresa you're my connection to them, I need you to act for me. Will you do it?_ What if I fail?" Teresa shook her head. "She was gone, but I got a vision. I saw Lorne, went to find him. My next vision was about the traitor."

"You knew there was a traitor and you didn't tell us?" Rodney asked "Why?"

"She told me." Spike confessed "I just thought she was loony until Wes said the same."

Rodney glared at the vampire. "Anything else you didn't think to tell us?"

"Shut up," Angel was exasperated "Tell us about your vision."

"Didn't see who the traitor was until my next vision, had it just now in the hallway when I was talking to Conner. I needed to tell him it wasn't Illyria. He wouldn't listen, didn't understand. He thought I was talking about him. He's not the traitor."

Angel was having trouble controlling his temper. "Who is the traitor?"

Teresa didn't get a chance to answer. Just then Wesley came up the stairs and announced to all assembled. "Anne is the traitor. Twenty-one of her charges are about to be sacrificed under the killing moon at the designated spot. We have maybe six hours to get there and save them."

…

Nina pulled the sweater grabbed from an abandoned store over her head. She watched Oz pull on a pair of jeans. It seemed wrong, to conceal themselves under human clothes. It seemed wrong to hide their power, hide their feats. She looked up at the killing moon and smiled.


	6. Lambs

"I thought the full moon wasn't-"

Wesley cut Angel off. "Killing moon, not the same thing; better for them worse for us."

Angel had more questions, but he didn't get to ask them. "Anne isn't the traitor Illyria is." Rodney said "Anne sang for Lorne, he said she was clean."

"She beat the test, it's been done before." Wesley said, referencing the Wolfram & Hart employee that had used drugs to avoid detection when he betrayed Nina to a club that wanted to eat her. "Lilah told me Anne's the traitor."

"She lied!" Rodney said, his hand tightening around the grip of his crossbow.

"Wes," Gunn said "Lilah is hardly a-"

Wesley interrupted again. "Check the rooms of the kids from Anne's shelter. Twenty-one are missing. I assume Anne was told they would be allowed to leave the city, unaware the place they would be sent to is a far worse hell."

Angel looked at Conner, he looked relieved. "Could you-"

"On it," Conner started down the hall but didn't get very far.

Rodney took a couple steps back, away from Kate and Gunn, then raised his crossbow and pointed it at Conner. "Stop," Everyone froze. Everyone turned to face Rodney. "Just stop."

…

"You're sure?" Buffy asked her computer monitor while Dawn and Andrew sat next to her. Andrew jostled Dawn, trying to get in frame. Dawn shoved him back.

"Willow and I are fairly confident." Giles said "Willow?"

"Yes," Willow still sounded shaken. "L.A. is becoming a portal to a hell dimension."

Buffy's heart sped up. "Angel?"

"I sensed him." Willow said "He's there, fighting."

"Fighting the forces of hell?" Buffy asked

"What about-" Andrew stopped himself mid-question and everyone ignored him.

"One would assume." Willow said "Right?"

"Duh," Faith said "What the hell else would he be doing?"

Buffy looked at the upper-left corner of the four-way split screen. Giles was sitting at his desk from which he ran the new watchers council in London. The next corner held Xander's lumpy couch, upon which sat Xander. Catty corner to Xander was Willow and Kennedy. Next to them was Faith and Robin. Buffy was sitting in her apartment in Rome, Dawn next to her, Andrew next to Dawn. Buffy waited for Giles to say what she couldn't.

"Some of our intelligence suggests Angel may have switched sides."

"You mean Angelus is back again?" Faith asked with an eye-roll. "If this is another spell I'm going to have words with English."

"Wesley's dead." Willow said "I felt him die."

Faith fell silent.

"What else?" Buffy asked

"One really weird thing I sensed was Spike."

"Is he all right?" Andrew cried out

"He's dead idiot, remember?" Dawn said

"He came back." Andrew said "He was in L.A. with Angel. He asked me not to tell you."

Buffy stared at Andrew, unbelieving. "Giles would I be setting a bad example for my fellow slayers if I punched Andrew's teeth in right about now?"

"Yes, but if Kennedy left the room for a moment that wouldn't be a problem." Giles said

"See no evil," Kennedy said "Go for it."

"You're telling me Spike is alive?" Buffy glared at Andrew. "You didn't think I needed to know this? Have you known since you were in L.A?"

"He said not to tell you." Andrew said "He came here looking for you once, but you were out and I forgot about it by the time you came back."

Buffy rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the screen. Her heart was pounding so fast she was sure Dawn could hear the rapid thumping. Spike and Angel were in L.A. together. Were they fighting the forces of hell, or had they reverted to their old ways? Either way, they needed her help. "Looks like I'm going to L.A. to avert another apocalypse."

"We can fly into San Fran," said Xander "Meet up there,"

Buffy shook her head. "I don't want you guys to risk-"

"I'll do all the research I can on demonic portals." Willow spoke as though Buffy hadn't said anything. "When we get there I might be able to work a spell to reverse this crazy mojo."

"When do we need to be in San Francisco by?" Faith asked

"Buffy?" Xander asked

"Oh I get to speak now?" Buffy snarked

"Only if the phrase 'to dangerous' doesn't pass anywhere near your lips." Willow said

"We meet at the San Francisco airport tomorrow at six. Giles I need you to stay in London to run the council. Don't fight me on this okay?" Buffy asked

"Your wish is my command." Giles said

"I also need you to find someone to take over Faith's, Willow's, and Xander's posts while we're gone." Buffy said

"Robin can handle Cleveland while I'm gone." Faith said "The girls are used to him."

"I was under the impression I would also be going." Robin sounded aggravated.

Buffy didn't want anywhere near that hornet's nest, she had her own to deal with. "I'll see most of you tomorrow." Buffy logged off.

"Buffy-"

"You and Andrew are staying here to look after the slayers in Rome." Buffy said

"But Buffy," Andrew whined "I was very recently in L.A. and I've seen the inside of Wolfram and Hart. Plus I have a great report with Spike." Buffy and Dawn stared at him incredulously. "I'll go clean the kitchen." A dejected Andrew said

"Dawny-"

"How's it feel to be interrupted before you get to say two words?" Dawn said

Buffy sighed. "Go ahead,"

"You're going to be so proud of me when you get back and see what a good job I did taking care of the slayers." Dawn said "And Andrew," She added as an afterthought.

Buffy embraced her sister. "I'm already so proud of you."

…

"Nobody move." Rodney said "Nobody move a muscle."

"I think we should all take a moment to calm down." Said Lorne

"There isn't time." Wes said and then turned to Rodney "So how about you put down the bloody crossbow and help us save the twenty-one innocent children who are about to be sacrificed to a demonic entity." His voice was cold and furious.

"I'm not going to let you set Anne up as your fall guy." Rodney said

"Rodney," said Gunn "Nobody wants to set up Anne."

"You heard the ghost!" Rodney was becoming increasingly agitated and the crossbow swung right and left, landing on different people. "I was a fool to come here, to think I could trust a bunch of demons!" He looked at Kate. "You know I'm right!"

She shook her head. "I don't actually."

Rodney laughed. "You're just like them." He pointed the crossbow at Kate and then Gunn. "Both of you are. Demon lovers, traitors to your species!"

Rodney grabbed Anne's arm. "Let's go Anne."

Anne shook her head. "I can't." Tears ran down her cheeks.

"Let's go!"

"Now Son," Conner's dad spoke up from the other end of the hall. "I don't know much about all of this, but I think we could all benefit if everyone just calmed down for a second."

Rodney swung the crossbow in the direction of the voice. Maybe his finger slipped, maybe he did it on purpose, but an arrow embedded itself in Teresa's chest.

Anne screamed. Gunn grabbed the crossbow and punched Rodney in the face, causing him to fall to his knees. Kate grabbed his right arm and twisted it so that he couldn't rise from the floor without intense pain. Everyone else ran toward the fallen demon.

Teresa lay on the ground, arrow imbedded in her like a tombstone in the earth. She coughed and blood poured from between her lips. "I saw it." She said

"Shhhh," said Lorne "We need a doctor!"

"I'm a nurse." Conner's mother rushed forward.

"Conner," Angel said "Check the rooms." Conner rushed off to do so. "Wesley lead us to where the sacrifice is going to take place. Spike, Gunn, Kate, Rodney, let's go."

"You're taking Rodney?" Lorne couldn't believe his ears. "He just shot someone!"

"And now he's going to help us save twenty-one someones." Said Angel

…

Willow closed her laptop and before she heard the click of the lid touching the keyboard she heard Kennedy. "I'm going Willow, that's that."

Willow looked at Kennedy, shocked. "I know baby, I need you. I can't do this without you. I need you there to keep me anchored, to prevent the demonic energy from affecting me."

"And to protect you from the bad guys." Kennedy reminded her.

Willow smiled at her lover and leant in for a kiss.

…

"Illyria!" Conner bounded up to the cage with a big smile on his face. "You've been cleared. Anne's the traitor, I locked her in her room and posted a guard."

Illyria frowned. "This news is meant to please me?"

"Yeah," said Conner "I can let you out." He looked around the room. "Do you know where the key is?" He walked over to a table and started moving stuff around.

"Angel has it." Illyria said

"Oh," Conner stopped and walked over to the cage. "When Angel gets back the first thing he'll do is let you out." Conner promised "I'm sorry he locked you up."

Illyria considered this. "It was not your fault."

Conner smiled. "Thanks for saying so."

"He will not release me." Illyria said "I will have to escape."

"He only locked you up because he thought you were the traitor. He knows you aren't now, and he'll let you go. I'm sure he's sorry about the misunderstanding."

"His regrets are not my concern." Illyria said "I swore vengeance on Angel, which I will have." She stared at Conner. "He knows this, and will not let me out."

Conner looked down. "I think we all made a lot of mistakes today. What Anne did… We were all scared, and maybe a little, maybe a lot, paranoid. You know a thesulac demon used to live here." Conner remembered Gunn telling him about it the summer Conner lived with him and Fred. "I did some things I'm not proud of. I hope I can be forgiven for them."

"What did you do?" Illyria seemed genuinely curious

"I hit Teresa a couple times." Conner confessed

"That half-breed bothers me, I find her voice grating."

Conner chuckled. "The thing is at one point or another we all do unforgivable things to each other. Forgiveness is a part of humanity. I said I would teach you to be human. If you're going to keep learning you need to forgive Angel."

Illyria stared past Conner at some unseen thing. "I'm not sure I still desire to learn more of humanity. You are a treacherous lot and what you call forgiveness to me seems very much like weakness." She looked at Conner again. "I am better than this." But she sounded unsure.

"That's what forgiveness is." Conner said "It's being better than someone, being above them. Betrayal is a weakness, forgiveness is a strength."

"I do not understand." Illyria said "I do not comprehend the meaning of your words."

"Do you trust me?" Conner asked

Illyria considered this question. "Trust leads to betrayal."

"Yes, but I won't betray you. Illyria if you trust me I won't let anything happen to you. I trust you Illyria. I trust you with my life. Will you do the same for me?"

Illyria nodded. "I accept your trust and give you mine also."

"Will you forgive Angel?"

"I will forgive your father." Illyria said

"I promise when he gets back he'll let you out. I'll wait here with you until then."

"You can teach me new human things." Illyria suggested "I wonder about this practice of speaking without volume that I saw your fake sister use the other night. It seems very efficient, but she is the only human I have seen do it. Also, the word freak is not one which I know the definition of. Furthermore I wish to know more appropriate dining behavior so that I may eat with your family and cause them to know what to make of me, preferably a liking."

Conner grinned. He sat cross-legged on the floor and looked up at Illyria. "Okay,"

…

Faith shut off the computer. "Faith we need to talk about this."

Faith looked at her boyfriend, at his warm concerned eyes. "Okay, talk."

He grasped her hands. "I'm a big boy, I don't need you to protect me."

"I need you to stay here and look after the girls, you're the only one I trust them with."

Robin gripped her hands tighter. "Look me in the eye and say that's the only reason you don't want me to come to L.A. with you and I won't say another word about it."

Faith sighed. She looked him in the eye and considered saying it. He would keep his word, but be pissed at her for lying. He always knew when she was lying. She wanted to leave on a good note. "The truth is I fight better when I don't have to worry about watching anybody's back. I like your back don't get me wrong, and your front," She said with a sly grin as she started to slide her hands down his thighs.

Robin grasped her wrists and lifted her hands. Faith was of course strong enough to ignore him pulling on her hands and keep going where she wanted to go, but she cared too much about Robin to treat him like that. "Faith this is serious."

"Sorry," She said "It's just that I can't be accountable for anyone but me out there. If something were to happen to you it would be because of me." Faith saw his brewing objection. "You want to go because of me." She insisted "I can't have that on my conscience, it's full."

"And I can't have letting you go off by yourself and getting killed on mine."

"But yours has more room." Faith said

"Faith this isn't about atoning for past sins." Robin said

"Yes it is," She insisted "It always is and always will be. If you can't handle that-"

"Cut the crap Faith!" Robin was frustrated. "Every time we disagree about something you say that if I can't handle it I can take a walk. Are you still so afraid of having a real connection with someone that you try to push me away at every opportunity?"

Faith shook her head. "You're making a deal out of something that isn't-"

"You still haven't said it Faith."

"Said what?" But she knew and Robin's glare said he knew she did. "Not this again,"

"Not what Faith? We live together, we eat dinner together every night, we sleep together, we have mind-blowing sex together," Robin paused for a moment on the last one as he and Faith reflected on just how mind-blowing last night had been. "You've told me things you never tell anybody, why can't you tell me you love me?" Robin asked

"It's not something you think about, it's something you do." Faith said

"And you haven't once."

"Maybe I did and you didn't notice." Faith said

Robin took Faith's hands and held them in his own. "Faith I love you." She tried not to, but she flinched. "Every time," He said with a sigh as he dropped her hands.

Faith looked at him and knew what she needed to say to protect him, to keep him here where he would be safe. It was going to hurt. "Do you want to know why I never say it?"

"I ask you all the time, so I'd say yeah."

"I'm afraid to say I love you because I love you." She flinched at hearing herself say the words. "If I say it, it's real. If I love you, really love you, then you'll…" She thought she could finish, but she was wrong. She could slay vampires, but not her own inhibitions.

"I'll leave you." Robin finished

"Even if, especially if, you don't want to. Loving me's no good."

Robin pulled her to him and she let him. "It is for me. Loving you is good for me. Being loved by you would be even better, but this is good enough."

Faith closed her eyes. "I love you Robin." She pulled away and looked into his eyes again, still so warm, still so comforting. "I love you and I need you. I need you to be here when I get back, waiting for me. I need you to hold me and help me forget the horrors of what I'll have seen. I need you not to have seen them, so that you'll be separate from them and I can lose myself in you. Can you do that for me?" She asked her lover, her best friend.

"I'll do that for you." He kissed her on the top of her head, gentle, sweet.

"Hey remember that mind blowing sex we were just talking about?" Faith asked

"Yes please," The sex wasn't gentle, but it was sweet.

…

Angel stared at the tall building and the cross that extended from it to even greater heights. He began to sweat. "The building will be destroyed in the process of the sacrifice." Wes explained. "It was originally the manor home of a wealthy land baron who kept small children locked in the basement for horrific purposes. He was driven out by the local community when his atrocities were discovered. The property was donated to the church and converted to an abbey where the nuns took in orphans and unwed mothers. They provided education and job-training to those whose only other options would have been manual labor and prostitution, allowing them to have a better life. The stipulations for where the sacrifice takes place say the ground must have housed a great evil that tainted the land with innocent blood. The evil must have been cast out by those with good intentions and the land repurposed for those who do good works." Wesley led them to the doors upon which was engraved in Latin and English 'We are all children of God.'

Gunn pushed the doors open. "Should we call out or something?" Rodney suggested

"No but you can shut up." Spike said

"I'm sorry about-"

"Rodney," Angel said "If you get us caught, I'll bleed you dry."

There was silence for a few minutes as Wesley led them deeper into the abbey. "Can I do it instead?" Spike asked "I haven't had human blood in so long I don't even remember."

"Shut up sicko." Kate said "Before I stake you." The silence held for longer this time.

Wes stopped in front of doors with similar engravings to the ones at the front of the building, but these said 'Welcome, all children of God.'

"So everyone's welcome." Spike said "A little redundant,"

Kate stepped forward and Spike jumped back, wary of the vampire hunter, but she just pushed the doors open. "Pussy," She mumbled under her breath

"Hey!" Spike loudly objected "Who're you-"

"Shhh!" Angel, Kate, and Wesley exclaimed.

They entered the chapel. "Are we sure this is where the sacrifice is going to take place?"

"Yes," Wesley responded to Angel's query "Just ignore the crosses."

"Not as easy as it sounds mate." Spike muttered despite Kate's death glare.

The group was startled by a terrific bang that came from the front of the abbey. "That would be the front door." Wesley said "They'll be coming in with the sacrifice."

"The door was open." Gunn recalled "Why'd they knock it down?"

"Maybe they took offense to being called children of God." Kate suggested

"Yeah," Rodney snarked "I bet most demons are atheists."

"I'm catholic." Angel said casually

"Really?" Kate said

"Focus," Wesley hissed

Angel headed for one side of the chapel doors. "Kate, Gunn," He gestured for them to follow. Spike and Rodney took the other side. Wesley sat at one of the pews.

"Can't you throw some furniture or spew goo?" Rodney requested

"Not that kind of ghost," Wes's voice was completely deadpan.

…

Teresa gasped as she sat up, causing pain to radiate from her chest. "No!"

"Teresa!" Lorne tried to push her back down. "Lie still,"

She turned her wide eyes to Conner's mother, the only other person in the room. "Your son is in danger." She whispered "His fate is unstable." She extended her hand. "Take it."

Conner's mother took her hand. "What do you mean? What's going to happen to him?"

Teresa smiled. She pushed the covers aside and sat up. "I was so hungry." She said "I feel much better now. I was going crazier than I already am."

A realization struck Lorne. "You need memories, to sustain your psychic energy."

Teresa looked at her hands. "I'm lucid now, as lucid as I can be."

"Your species aren't supposed to require the memories, only enjoy them."

"I know." Teresa said "But we both know the Powers don't recruit demons with nothing to atone for. I was foolish in my youth, and after it. There were so many lives out there that I could live without having to do anything. So I did nothing. I touched, I got addicted. My life was nothing, I did nothing, and I was nothing. I didn't balance the scales, didn't tip them in either direction. I was just a waste of space. The powers gave me a chance to be somebody, but the withdrawal does strange things to the mind. I need the memories to keep me going. But I need to stop." Teresa looked at Lorne, she expected to see hate or disgust, but she saw only sympathy.

"So you're like a drug addict but with memories?" Conner's mother asked

"Yes," Teresa turned red "Or more like an alcoholic since most members of my species can handle it. My mom says that maybe my human half is what caused me to get addicted. She said maybe I enjoyed the memories more because of the human in me, could feel them more."

"Now you've got the visions to boot." Lorne said "There's a lot going on up there huh?"

Teresa nodded. "I had a vision."

"About Conner?" His mother asked

Teresa nodded. "He was fighting Angel. Angel didn't want to fight, but Conner was so angry and kept hitting him. He was in so much pain."

"I'll talk to him." Conner's mother said "Maybe I can figure out what happened."

"It hasn't happened yet." Teresa said

"Then why was he so upset earlier? Why did he hit you?"

"You have to ask Conner, it is his story to tell you." Teresa explained

"I'm going to look for him. Will you be all right?"

"Yes, thank you," Teresa touched her bandage. "You would have made a great doctor."

Conner's mother smiled and patted Teresa's clawed scaly hand as she left. "Get well,"

"She wanted to be a doctor," Teresa said when Conner's mother was gone. "Didn't have the grades for it. She did nursing instead. She's happy where she is."

"Would she have made a good doctor?" Lorne asked

"No," Teresa was suddenly tired, probably due to her wound. "But she should die happy, thinking she got to have it all." Teresa laid down. "I'm tired, but if I go to sleep I won't be as lucid when I wake up." Teresa felt her eyelids growing heavier but suddenly they snapped open. "Rodney is dead." She said "Why'd Cordelia show me that?"

"I don't know." Lorne said "Get some sleep." But she was already asleep.

…

"Best seats in the house," Lilah said as she walked through the battle to sit next to her ex-lover. "Great view of the action." She watched Angel plunge a sword into a puss-filled demon, its acidic puss spraying Gunn and burning his arm. "Classic,"

Wesley looked up at the ceiling. "Huh,"

"What?" Lilah looked up

"I just figured you would have been struck by lightning by now. This is technically a church." Wesley shrugged. "Guess God's busy."

Lilah gave Wesley the mock disapproving look girls give their boyfriends when he's found a quirky witty way to call her pretty. "Lighting comes from the ground."

"I was being poetic." Wesley spoke with as little inflection as Illyria.

"Do you still believe in God?" Lilah asked

"Do you?" Wesley replied

Lilah watched Kate get smacked across the room by a demon with giant fangs. It then turned its attention to Spike who had to dodge its many teeth. "If he exists he's not on my team."

"That's not an answer." Wesley reprimanded

"So, what's your excuse for how they found this place?" Spike was thrown into the adjoining pew and a wayward splinter lodged itself in Lilah's neck. She pulled it out and threw it toward the pulpit. "Let me guess, Anne cracked under pressure."

"She was guilt ridden by Illyria's unjust imprisonment."

"I bet you were all tore up about it to." Lilah said

"Devastated," Wes remained completely deadpan "The love of my life's murderer imprisoned for a crime she didn't commit instead of one of the many she did, I'm going to lose a lot of sleep over it." Spike charged the many toothed demon.

Lilah set her briefcase on her lap and opened it, pulling out a file. "Everything you need to know about saving Fred is in this file." Lilah explained "If any of your friends survive they can take it back to the Hyperion for you. If not I'll send Harmony over when I get back to the office." She set the file down between them and put her briefcase back on the floor.

Wes waved his hand over the file. "This one isn't enchanted."

"I'm a bitch like that." Lilah wore a beautiful smile.

Wesley sighed. Outwardly there was no change. Inside he was doing cartwheels. He tried not to allow himself too much hope. But it was infectious, clawing its way into his heart, his mind, his soul. "One of the things I love about you Lilah." Where did that come from? Wesley regretted the statement the second it was out of his mouth.

Lilah laughed, pretending the words didn't shred her insides and put her heart through a juicer. "Aren't you in an exceptionally good mood?" How could he not see her insides were a bloody mess? How could he fall for her ruse? "I can't believe what I was missing while I was alive." Lilah said, trying to disguise her feelings. "This is great."

"For you, because you have no stake in this fight." Wesley said "It's just entertainment to you. Those are my friends." Angel was held down by a demon's tail as it reared its head to decapitate him. Kate promptly lopped its head off with a sword. The beast collapsed, freeing Angel. He ran back into the fray without hesitation, despite the welt running across his chest.

"Are they really?" Lilah asked "Aren't we both beyond that? Aren't we beyond good and evil, friends and enemies? Haven't we reached the level of enlightenment that supersedes such notions?" Lilah looked at Wesley but his attention was directed at the battle. "Wes,"

"We're dead Lilah, not higher beings."

Lilah rolled her eyes. "Not like your friend Saint Cordy or her demented daughter,"

"That wasn't really-"

Lilah waved her hand dismissively when she cut him off. "Please Wes, the story was boring enough the first time."

"You think your murder was boring?" Wesley was incredulous.

"No, I think the dynamics of your little family are boring. Especially the love triangles, those are terrible. You were in love with Cordelia back in Sunnydale, but came to L.A. and fell in love with Fred, who Gunn was also in love with. Fred chose Gunn over you so you kidnapped Angel's son by one of his dead blond ex-girlfriends. So the son comes back and sleeps with Cordelia who forgot she was in love with Angel who you coincidentally are also in love with."

"I'm not-!" Wesley looked around before realizing how stupid that was considering that everyone was distracted by the epic battle they were taking part in. "I'm not in love with Angel."

"I'm just teasing lover, sheesh. I'm a very tolerant person, but I don't do guys who do other guys, it's a preference thing. Of course I haven't gotten any since the whole," Lilah made a stabbing notion toward her neck. "Every great deal has its drawbacks."

Wesley watched a demon knock down part of the wall. The wall and the one of the crosses attached to it hit Angel. He shouted as he tried to pull himself out from under it. Spike looked over at the sound of his grand-sire's screams and rushed over to help him out from under the wall. The many toothed demon knocked Rodney down. He struggled to rise. The demon sliced across his chest with its many teeth. Rodney howled in pain. The demon slammed its clawed hand into his chest cavity, crushing his heart.

Wesley stared in horror at the scene unfolding before him. While he was sitting here powerless his ally had been slaughtered. He felt as though he were going to be sick, but didn't think the physiology of a ghost would allow it. Angel thrust his sword into Rodney's killer. The beast turned and Angel drew out his sword and decapitated the beast. The last demon, with an exterior much like an exoskeleton, was killed when Gunn swung his ax into the space between its neck armor and chest plate. The four remaining warriors stood bloody and battered, surveying the scene of destruction.

"Rodney!" Gunn ran over to his friend. "Rodney man wake up," Gunn knew his friend was gone but he couldn't face it. "Get up dummy, we won."

"You didn't win." Lilah said "You may have killed many of ours, but we have a near infinite number of soldiers, this one man cost you more than a hundred soldiers cost us. You got maybe ten." Lilah began to count. "Fourteen, wow," She stood up to go. "Anyway, you can pick up your twenty-one innocents at the front of the abbey." Lilah headed for the back.

"Lilah!" Angel shouted

She looked at him, waiting. "I'll find a way to bring you down."

"I'm terrified." She said in the least convincing terrified voice possible. "Bye-bye now."

The four dejected warriors and one ghost trying to tastefully conceal how happy he was headed for the door, Angel flipping through the file Lilah gave them. Wes didn't have to conceal his joy for long. It fled when they left the abbey and saw twenty-one teenagers lying on the street. No longer useful as the sacrifice had been postponed to the full moon again, their throats had been unceremoniously cut and they had been left on the ground for the flies.


	7. Blood

Anne watched from the window of her room, her prison, as the warriors returned from battle. She hadn't wanted to wait, but she needed to see what the damages were. Where was Rodney? Where were the kids? "Oh God," She put both hands over her mouth to stifle her gasping sobs. She felt like she couldn't breathe. "Please God no," Anne fell to her hands and knees. She crawled over to her nightstand and pulled out the drawer. Inside was the vial of drugs the blond vampire had given her. Anne grabbed the vial and squeezed. Glass shattered, imbedding itself in her flesh. She picked the biggest piece and gritted her teeth.

…

The hotel was so quiet. Gunn wanted to shout, to break the silence, but he felt like someone had opened a container of Elmer's glue and poured the contents down his throat. He wanted to do something, but the glue had reached his bloodstream and was shutting him down piece by piece. Rodney, he'd been one of the gang's first members, back when they were a bunch of stupid kids with stakes and gigantic chips on their shoulders.

Angel couldn't get it out of his head. All of that blood, it was the smell that was the worst of it. The smell had been so… appetizing. Angel's hands began to shake. He looked at the sword in his right hand, looked at the puss and blood that stained the blade. He threw the sword at the weapon's cabinet. The glass shattered. Knives, axes, and swords clattered to the ground with a deafening sound. Shards of glass reflected light from the candles someone had lit.

In the complete silence the echoes of their memories deafened them. First the cabinet, then the fight, then the sight, the smell, the terrible silence. Kate managed to speak. "Who's going to clean that up?" Angel felt a terrible fury rise in him, but when he turned to face Kate to tell her off he saw that she was crying. She was trying so hard to hold the tears in her face was turning red, but the hot water droplets escaped anyway.

Gunn remembered a stupid teenager who got thrown across the alley by a vampire. He remembered Rodney standing over him, holding out his hand. 'Let's dust this sucker.'

"Something isn't right." Kate whispered

"I'd bloody well say it isn't." Spike muttered

"No," Kate said "Something doesn't fit." She looked at Wesley. "You tricked us."

Wesley looked at Kate as if he hadn't noticed her standing there until now. "What?"

"You took us inside, so they could kill the kids. You tricked us, it was a trap."

Gunn and Spike shared looks of disbelief. Angel stared at Kate in shock. Wesley just laughed. "I found out where the sacrifice was going to be. We went to stop it-"

"_We_ went to stop it." Kate said "You just sat there."

"I'm a ghost you twat." Wesley said "What did you want me to do, moan at them?" Kate started to reply, but she never got a syllable in. "Listen you ungrateful bitch," Wesley said "You haven't been here for very long, so let me get you up to speed. I've done a lot of things I can be ashamed of. I can't think of a person I give a damn about who I've never betrayed. But I never betrayed you. I didn't lead you into a trap, I led you on a rescue mission. I told Lilah I was going to keep my mouth shut, I had no idea she was going to send the cleaning crew in before the sacrifice." Wesley looked at the ground, his shoulders heavy with an unseen burden. "But it doesn't matter, we won." He whispered "We stopped the Wolf from crossing over. We won the ground, but we lost the…"

"The lambs," Spike said "We lost the lambs, but we won the ground."

"Score one for the good guys." Gunn's voice was empty of any emotion.

Something occurred to Wesley. "Illyria,"

"I guess I should let her out." Angel reached into his pocket for the key.

"Don't." Wesley said "We were going to have to lock her up eventually anyway."

"Why?" Kate asked

"We're gonna kill the bloody bitch is why." Spike said, forgoing delicacy.

"We're going to save Fred." Angel explained

"With the file Lilah gave Wesley for not betraying us." Kate said sarcastically "I remember." Her shoulders drooped and she seemed to lose all energy. "I'm going to bed, let me know if someone else has to die today."

Kate headed upstairs and Wes head for the door. "We don't have a lot of time until the full moon, they'll need a new spot for the sacrifice. I'll see what I can find out."

"Good luck," Angel said before realizing how stupid that sounded. "Wesley,"

"What?" Angel's old friend looked so tired.

"I never got to tell you." Angel looked at Wesley and saw a ghost. Wesley was dead yes, but he was also dead to the world. There was only one thing keeping him here, keeping him in this fight. Wesley's body died the night they took on the circle, and so did much of his soul.

"Tell me what?"

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you." Angel didn't need to explain.

Wesley processed this. "I'm not. There are parts of me that still remember… things that make me not sorry. I don't think my life could ever have really been any better than it was."

Wesley left with those words and Angel swore to himself that one way or another he would save the man's soul. Shouting from upstairs drew his attention and he headed to the first floor with Spike and Gunn.

…

Kate passed by Anne's room on the way to her own and saw Conner's father standing guard by the door. "Have you seen Conner?" The man asked

Kate shook her head. "Not since we left." Kate could hear the words, but she didn't say them. Her body was on auto-pilot. Her brain was shutting down.

"He ran off after asking me to guard this young lady's room." He explained

Kate looked at the door. "Twenty-two," She whispered

Conner's father didn't understand, but he sensed it was best not to ask Kate any more questions. She was clearly upset. "If you see Conner would you tell him his mother is looking for him?" He requested "She seemed upset."

Kate nodded. She turned back toward the direction of her room and screamed. "Jesus!"

Teresa was an inch away, staring into Kate's eyes with her demon ones. "She's dying."

Kate took several steps back and let her heartbeat slow. "What?"

Teresa pointed at Anne's door. "I can speak, Anne dies."

It clicked in Kate's head and she reached for the doorknob, but it wouldn't turn. "Where is the key?" She demanded of Conner's father. She pounded on the door. "Anne!"

"Conner has it-" Conner's dad quit midsentence when Kate slammed herself into the door. It only took her a couple tries to break one of the old hinges. Kate slammed her foot into the space between the other two and the wood of the old door snapped, the door leaving its frame completely. Kate walked over the broken piece of wood and rushed over to Anne who was digging into her veins with a sharp piece of glass.

Kate grabbed Anne by the shoulders and threw her against the wall. "What are you doing?!" Kate felt a rabid fury within herself. "How dare you?! How fucking dare you?!"

Anne wept, she wept in sorrow and in fear. "Please let me die."

"You want to die! Huh? Do you want to die?!"

Anne nodded. "Please, please let me die."

Kate grabbed a clump of Anne's hair and dragged her over to the vanity. "Look!" She gripped Anne's chin with her hand and forced her face toward the mirror. "Look at yourself!"

Anne screamed. "Why? Why? Just let me di-i-i." She could barely get the last word out between labored tearful breaths. "Please let me go."

"No!" Kate screamed as Gunn and the two vampires entered the room.

"Kate!" Angel said "Stop it!"

Kate threw Anne back against the wall. "You don't get to die!" She slammed her fist into the wall next to Anne's head, bruising her knuckles. Anne yelped in terror. "Every morning I want you to get up and look in that mirror! I want you to look at what you are and what you've done! You want to die?" Kate grabbed Anne's hair and yanked her down to the floor. "Earn it,"

Anne curled into the fetal position among the tiny shards of glass and continued to sob.

"You're pathetic," Kate said as she headed out of the room.

Gunn knelt down next to Anne and gently pulled her up, letting her collapse into his chest where tears and snot soaked his shirt. "Can you ask your wife to bandage her arms?" Gunn whispered to Conner's dad. The man left to find his wife.

As Kate passed by Spike he brought his hands together in a thunderous clap. "Bloody brilliant love, excellent performance."

Angel shoved Spike back as he followed Kate, who was ignoring them both. "Kate,"

"No," She said "You don't get to speak."

"Why?" Angel asked "What did I do to you that was so terrible?"

"You're a killer!" Kate screamed "We're all killers," she whispered

"We tried to save them." Angel said

Kate stopped walking away, having realized she'd already passed her room. Kate turned around and walked toward Angel. "Angel I want to live." She walked up to him and stopped close enough to count his pores. "I want to live." She lay her head on his chest. "I want to live."

"I know." Angel wrapped his arms around her. "I know."

"I want to live." She began to cry. "I don't want to die. I want to live."

"Shhhh," Angel held her and let her cry it out. When she was done he walked her to her room. "Are you going to be okay?" He asked, surveying her cuts and bruises. "Maybe someone should take a look at that." But he knew her most dire wounds were internal.

Kate took off her shirt and touched a large purple bruise on her abdomen. "Do you think it's serious?" She asked "Feel it." She took his hand and placed it over the bruise.

"Kate," Angel stepped back

"I hated you." Kate said "I can't do it anymore. I wanted the world to make sense. I wanted good and evil to be neat categories with clear definitions. Anne betrayed us."

"I know this is hard on you."

"Of all the people here she seemed the most good, she was like an-" Kate snickered.

Angel smiled, unsure how he managed it. "Nothing is what it seems."

"She's responsible for the deaths of twenty-two people." Kate said

"I've killed a lot more than that." Angel said

"Then why can't I hate you right now? I feel like I should hate you, because you're the thing I despise. You plunged my home into hell and let those people die. I should hate you, but all I want is for you to hold me." Kate walked by him and closed the door. She stepped up to him and removed her bra. "I need you to hold me."

"I shouldn't." Angel said, but to his shame he wanted to.

"Are you even close to happy, even close to content?" Kate asked

In response Angel put his mouth to hers, slid his tongue into her mouth and clutched her body. He wanted to take comfort in her. He remembered tasting her blood in the museum. He wanted to taste the other parts of her. She wanted to be a part of something, and they became one. She felt her fear fall away and let her mind close shop. Her body knew what to do.

…

The first time Conner went to the beach he stood in front of the waves and thought about what it must be like to be under them, to be held by the darkness from which there was no escape. He wondered what it would be like to suffocate on the cold. In the background he had heard Fred and Gunn talking and when he heard Holtz's name he began to pay attention. They didn't know that he could hear them, didn't know he could hear things no normal human would be able to. Like now, as he sat in the basement with his back to the bars of the cage. Illyria sat in a similar way. Their shoulders touched, her hair brushed his neck. They were connected, but separated by the metal bars. He had told her everything that was being said upstairs. He had told her what his father planned to do. He felt ice spread over his heart.

"Will you help me Conner?"

"Yes," His breath was cold.

"Will you help me escape?"

"Yes,"

"Will you help me to kill Angel?"

Conner remembered what his father had said to him before he pushed him into the cold, dark ocean. 'Never forget that I'm your father and that I love you.' Conner had pushed him into the cold darkness for a murder he had nothing to do with. Yet all he had to say were words of love. "Maybe there is another way." Conner said

"There is no other way to save me. You said that you would help me. I trust you."

"I trust you to." Conner felt numb.

"Conner,"

"I'll be right back." Conner stood up. "I promise,"

…

Wesley entered Lilah's office.

"It's customary to knock." Lilah didn't even look up from her files.

"I can't, noncorporeal."

"Good point," She finally glanced up and gave him a smile. "Have a seat."

Wesley sat down where she had gestured. He watched her for a few moments, her smooth skin, her voluminous hair. He traced the lines of her body with his eyes, filling in the parts her clothes concealed with old memories. He looked at the line around her neck from where he had chopped off her head. He remembered how hard it had been, but he had to make sure she wouldn't return to join the ranks of the undead. "Wasted effort," He muttered

"Don't say that." Lilah said "You stopped the Wolf from crossing over."

"That's not what I was talking about." Wesley said "We won."

"Just think of them as collateral damage." Lilah suggested flippantly

Wesley didn't even have it in him to be angry. "I can't. I know how it feels."

"Right," Lilah remembered "I almost forgot you've had your throat cut."

"It's not an experience one quickly forgets." Wesley looked around the office. "Not much decoration." He noted "I guess you weren't planning on staying long."

"I've been so busy." Lilah said "No time to go shopping even if there was anywhere left to shop. Besides, wall decorations are so fake, it's us trying to show an image that isn't real."

"I've been thinking." Wesley said "About what I could have missed. I've been turning everything over in my mind trying to figure out what I overlooked."

"You didn't overlook anything." Lilah said "We just overpowered you."

"The killing moon," Wesley spoke as though Lilah hadn't. "It's worshipped by werewolf cults, people who celebrate their condition instead of hating it. Those who gain the power to control the transformation turn on days they shouldn't have and make sacrifices to the moon. The moon transforms into something even more powerful than the full moon and gives the werewolves power. That's who the acolytes are. Werewolves serve the Wolf."

Lilah said nothing, just looked at him.

Wesley grinned. For a moment he looked like the man he was three years ago. "I was right. I wasn't sure; I had to test you." He got up to go.

"I'm starting to miss it." Lilah said

"What?" Wesley asked, surprised to find he really did want to know.

Lilah held out her hand, palm facing upward. There was a ballpoint pen on it. "I can touch this. I can hold it. I can't feel Wesley." She put down the pen then picked up a file and dropped it on her desk. "I can't feel anything. I can touch, but not be touched. I could put a picture on my desk, and I'd be able to see it but the image would have no meaning."

Wesley tried to squash the pity he felt for her by reminding himself she was responsible for twenty-two deaths. He was disgusted with himself when it didn't work. "I know."

"I'm losing touch Wes, I don't know how long I have."

"Me neither," Wesley admitted "I'm trying to hold on. There's so much to hold on to, but I'm forgetting. I'm forgetting what I was. There's a boy locked under the stairs. Is he me? I don't remember Lilah. There's a man in Sunnydale making a fool of himself in the library with a beautiful girl. Who is that man? I'm forgetting the glue that holds the pieces together and they're falling away. I'm afraid that soon I'll forget them, the ones that I love."

Lilah stared at him like she was trying to see him through a fog. "I'm glad you're not there to touch, otherwise I wouldn't be able to resist. Not being able to feel you would drive me crazy. Feeling you is the last thing I have to hold onto. There is someone very important to me, someone I love so much. I think she's my mother, but I can't remember. I just remember touching you. I wish I hadn't torn it in half." Lilah reached in a drawer and pulled out the two halves of the dollar bill. "But I can't remember why. It was so important."

Wesley wanted to reach out and touch her, comfort her. He was glad he couldn't and therefore didn't have to resist the temptation to. He knew what Lilah was talking about. "You chose this. You signed a piece of paper and chose this for designer shoes."

"It's not just that Wesley." Lilah sighed and leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling. "This is what I'm good at. This was the only way for me to have power. I knocked the big strong men down a few pegs. I turned cocky narcissists into my bitches. I had to do this job Wesley because I can do this job. I wanted to be somebody."

"But you're not." Wesley said "You're a figment."

"Would you go back and change it if you could?" Lilah asked "Leave California and never look back? Live a completely different life?"

Wesley shook his head. "No, not anymore."

"Because you love them?"

Wesley nodded.

"It keeps you alive."

"For now,"

Lilah laid her hand flat on her desk. "Maybe if you hover your hand over mine I can pretend I feel it. We can both pretend. We'll pretend we remember what human skin feels like and that we're feeling it right now." Lilah's eyes begged him to consent.

"I have to go Lilah, but it was nice talking to you." Lilah watched him go and when he was gone she burst into tears. She looked for something to hurl at the wall that would give a nice satisfying shatter, like a picture frame or a coffee mug. But Lilah couldn't look at pictures or drink coffee so she just kept crying instead.

…

Conner sat on his mother's bed while she massaged his temples. He remembered she used to do this for him when he was a little boy and used to get bad headaches. He remembered it even though when he was a little boy he lived in a hell dimension with his kidnapper.

"Tell me what's going on Conner."

"If I tell you, things will only get worse. You guys are the only normal thing I have left."

"If you tell me, maybe I can help." Conner thought about the stake in his nightstand, he thought about going into Angel's room while he was sleeping and plunging it into his heart. Was he still capable of such a thing? Had he ever not been?

"Tell me a story from when I was a little boy."

"All right," She continued to massage his head. "Do you remember when you were nine and everyone thought you got lost in the woods playing hide and seek while we were visiting grandpa? We looked for you for five hours. Then the sun started to go down and we went inside to get some flashlights out of the hall closet and there you were, fast asleep. Your grandma almost had a heart attack when she saw you curled up next to the vacuum."

"She screamed like a banshee." Conner recalled

His mother started to play with his hair. "We were so glad you were all right."

"I'm lost in the woods mom." Conner confessed. "I'm lost and I can't find the path."

Conner felt his mother wrap her arms around him. "I'm here baby. Whenever you feel lost just know I'm here. Home is wherever I am."

…

Spike was taking his turn guarding Illyria's cage. Angel had suggested it when he finished boning Kate. Nobody else suspected, but Spike could smell it on them, the heat. Angel had declared that Spike would take the first four hour shift. Spike had done so. The time had dragged on forever as Illyria stood silently in the corner. The twenty hours he had off had passed much more quickly. Spike was almost tempted to strike up a conversation with Illyria.

"Do you think that he will not betray you?"

"What was that love?" Spike had heard her very clearly and they both knew it.

"He is loyal only to his own desires, such is the weakness of man."

"You made some progress in your humanity studies I see." Spike commented

"I learned something interesting from the shell's memories." Illyria said

Spike knew that listening to what came next would be a mistake, he needed to get her away from this topic. But he couldn't help himself. "What?"

"Humanity's greatest weakness is its sentiment. I have been infected by it. The shell has left me her memories of love and friendship, these meaningless feelings that are only symptoms of base urges and instinctual needs. Wesley's treachery against your leader was born of love. His fear of pursuing the woman he desired was caused by his love for her and his desire not to harm her. Gunn's love for his sister allowed for others to weaken him by taking her. Fred's love of learning and of her fellow humans made her curious and trusting. This is what allowed her to be infected by me. Cordelia left this plane to fight elsewhere because she loved Angel and wanted to look after him. Angel loved all four of these people, and all of them hurt him."

"You think you know things huh?" Spike asked "You don't know anything about love."

"What have I left out?" Illyria asked

"All of those people did hurt Angel, but he still loves them."

"Because he is weak." Illyria said matter-of-factly

"Because they're worth it. You're not."

Illyria reacted to this like a slap in the face. "I am a god." She protested

"You're a parasite." Spike rebuffed "You're an infection."

"I was loyal to your cause. I fought by your side, protected your weak points! I comforted Wesley as he lay dying and he betrayed me! I followed your rules! I obeyed your laws! I attempted to learn humanity but humans have revealed themselves to be no more than what I thought they were, scum. You are worms wriggling and blind. Your lives know no meaning and are over before they begin. Even you half breed will have a short life compared to the millennia during which I reigned over all things."

"But your time is up sweetheart, and you can't handle it can you?"

"The keeper told me I did not belong in this world." Illyria said "He told me I should never have returned. The world belongs to the humans now."

"That's right." Spike said

"So I must die because I am not human?" Illyria questioned

"No," Spike explained "You must die so that Fred can live."

"And you must find reasons to hate me in order to ease your guilty conscience."

Her statement took Spike by surprise. Maybe Illyria really had learned something about humanity. Not that it mattered, soon she would be gone.

"You truly are weak." Illyria said as though she could read his mind.

…

Lorne watched Angel pack. "Wesley has no idea where the real sacrifice is taking place?"

"No, but he's fairly sure the fake one is still on. Wolfram & Hart never cancel a good sacrifice if they can help it. Wes is on full research mode at W&H and he's also trying to pump Lilah for information. You stay here and look after everyone. Kate is guarding Illyria. Make sure Spike, Conner, and Gunn are ready to leave at a moment's notice if Wes shows up with information." Angel grabbed the bag of weapons and headed for the door.

"Are you sure you can handle this by yourself?" Lorne asked

"I have to." Angel answered

...

Gunn sat on the edge of Anne's bed. She had been in a near catatonic state for the last two days. She never moved or spoke. The only action she took was eating when someone fed her, but they would actually have to spoon the food into her mouth and then she would chew and swallow. This task always fell to Gunn. "Anne,"

Silence as usual. She stared straight ahead. Gunn wondered what she saw.

"Anne you need to wake up now, you hear?"

Anne's bandaged arms lay on the sheets. Conner's mother had tucked her in after changing them. They were a stainless white with no sign of what lay beneath.

"Things aren't so great around here. Wesley's been working full time at Wolfram and Hart trying to figure out how to stop them. Conner won't talk to anyone but his family. Illyria keeps making a big fuss down in her cage. I hate when I have to guard her, it's miserable." Gunn sighed. "I hope things are better where you are Anne. I hope you're happy."

Gunn gripped Anne's limp hand and might as well have been touching a corpse. Part of him wondered why he still bothered. If Anne had checked out, what could he do?

"I have nice dreams sometimes. There was this ballet," Gunn explained "We all got dressed up and Lorne stayed here with the baby. I had on this snazzy tux, the girls were wearing these fabulous dresses. We sat down and the show started, Anne, it was beautiful, watching these people dance was like, there's no cool way to say it, it was like watching human emotion in its purest form. I wish we could have stayed there forever. I wish we could have gone onstage and become just pure emotion. We could have put away the messy details and just loved each other."

Gunn picked Anne's hand off the sheet and gripped it in both of his. "That's over now Anne. I have to move on. I can't keep thinking of the way things were. Every morning I get up, I look at myself, I think 'I killed someone I love' and I start my day. I don't let a day go by without reminding myself that I'm responsible for killing Fred. You see I loved Fred and knowing what I did to her feels like dying every day. You've got that times twenty-two and it's enough to make anyone want to not wake up. You have to wake up though Anne."

No movement, no sound. "We can do it together. I'll let go of what I did to Fred; you let go of Rodney and the kids. You don't have to forget them, just acknowledge it was a mistake and move on. There's still a lot of good you can do."

Shouts and screams erupted from throughout the Hyperion. Gunn dropped Anne's hand and opened the door to the hall. An enormous Werewolf pounced on him, sinking its teeth into his arm. Gunn screamed in pain. His arm still wasn't fully healed from the acidic puss burns of two days ago. The wolf increased the pressure, seconds away from snapping bone.

With a crash the vanity mirror landed on the wolf, startling it enough to allow Gunn to free his arm. Anne stood over the pair, having thrown the mirror down on the wolf, but she wasn't done. She picked up a large shard of glass and planted it in the wolf's neck, cutting her freshly bandaged hand in the process. Gunn staggered to his feet and watched the wolf revert to the form of a naked young man. Anne fainted, but Gunn caught her.

Another wolf bounded toward the door and Gunn slammed it shut. He pushed the mirrorless vanity in front of the door and laid Anne on the bed. When every other stick of furniture was in front of the door Gunn climbed out the window and worked his way over to the next room, tumbling inside to the scene of a wolf dragging a boy away.

"Bad dog," Gunn said as he smashed a chair, turning one of its legs into a handy club.

…

Wesley observed Harmony run into the lobby from the stairwell. "You found it?"

"Yep," Harmony said as she ran behind her desk to get the duffle bag Wesley had helped her prepare yesterday. "Let's go,"

Wes was pleasantly surprised Harmony had actually come through. "We'll swing by the Hyperion to collect Gunn, Conner, and Spike; then we head straight to the sacrifice."

"Oh yeah," Harmony said "I probably should have said the Hyperion is where I followed Lilah to as soon as I came through the door huh?"

Wesley broke into a run. For every pleasant surprise there was a nightmarish catastrophe to counterbalance. Wesley prayed Angel wouldn't come back from halting the fake sacrifice to find his home destroyed and everyone he loved dead.

…

Spike threw the werewolf into one of its brethren. The world was coming apart around him, and he couldn't keep up. Every person he snatched away from the wolves revealed two more, and the initial person fell into danger again.

"Spike!" Gunn tossed him a sword.

"No!" Lorne shouted. "These are innocent people!"

"Innocent people that want to kill us!" Kate kicked a wolf in the ribs and punched it in the jaw. She slammed a knife into one paw.

Spike slashed a wolf in the face. "No killing, yes maiming." He compromised

A wolf pounced on Spike. He struggled with the creature and then felt it be pulled off of him. He looked up to see a beautiful blond slayer. "You don't call, you don't write." Spike grinned as Buffy extended a hand to help him to his feet. "Maim don't kill you said?"

"Right,"

"Let's put on a show."

…

Wesley and Harmony closed in on the Hyperion to see Lilah with an empty glass jar in her hand. "We're too late." Wesley said, unable to quite believe it

"That you are lover boy." Lilah agreed "But stick around and enjoy the show."

Wes ran for the door but was repelled by the mystical barrier Lilah had just completed putting the finishing touches to. He ran to another section of the wall and achieved the same results. "Wesley I don't think that's going to work!" Harmony shouted unhelpfully

"You don't even know the best part yet." Lilah said in her sing-song voice "Guess who went in just before the barrier went up?" Lilah's lovely grin now looked grotesque.

"The sacrifices have to be innocent." Wesley said "Vampires and demons won't do."

"No that's true," Lilah conceded "But maybe the wolves will grab a slayer or two."

Wesley stared at the Hyperion. 'This is a house of evil.' 'Not anymore.' Now it was again. Wesley thought about Gunn and Kate. Were they innocent enough for the sacrifice?

"Cheer up Wes," Lilah said "You're being afforded a rare opportunity. Few get to meet the Wolf and even fewer live to tell of it. You're already dead so it's zero risk." Lilah put her hands on her hips and surveyed the scene with pride. "This is going to be great."


	8. The Hand That Feeds

Nina grasped Oz's shoulder. They were both on the floor, him behind her with his arms wrapped around her abdomen. She was clutching him, using him as an anchor to fight the change. She tightened her grip on him and on her mind. "I can't do it." She gasped "I have to let this happen. She wants out. She has to run."

"You are in control." Oz panted "We can do this."

Nina screamed. "She wants out!"

"We have to be the ones in control!"

They had felt the call, just like every other werewolf in the area. They fought the change, knowing they couldn't let the wolves regain control. They had to be the masters of their bodies.

"Tell me something." Oz gasped

"What?"

"Anything, something human, something about being human." Oz said

Nina didn't know this word, human. She only knew the Wolf, calling to her, demanding the blood of the champion. "She wants blood." Why wasn't she changing?

"Nina listen to me, we can fight this, we can stop this from happening."

"No we can't." She said "We are what we are. We have to be what we are."

Oz shook his head. "I told you I would stay with you, but if you let this change happen you won't be here anymore. She'll have control over you and I'll have to go."

Nina bit her lip and tasted blood. She wasn't going to let the change happen. She was going to stay human. She had to stay human. She had a purpose and she would fulfill it.

"Nina,"

"I'm human, I'm a human being." Nina gripped him tighter.

"Yes you are."

…

Wesley stared at the building that had once been his second home. They had claimed it for the good fight. They had taken it from a demon responsible for much death and suffering. He couldn't believe he hadn't figured it out before. This building was perfect.

"What happens when it crosses over?" Wesley asked

"She'll do whatever she wants, we'll watch." Lilah explained

"The people inside," Wesley couldn't finish his sentence.

"They'll die." Lilah said "The whole building will come tumbling down and they'll be dead. Your friends, the innocents, the werewolves, they'll be trapped under rubble."

"Is that so?" Angel approached, panting with effort. He had multiple serious cuts and was dragging a battle ax behind him. "I don't think I like that plan."

"Here to play the hero?" Lilah asked "You're a little late. The slayers already made the big entrance. They brought a witch and a mortal as well."

"Buffy's here?" Angel asked, hoping against hope she was lying.

"Got here just before I did, didn't even see me. It was a close call, I might not have been able to complete the ritual if they showed up later."

"Typical Buffy," Wesley muttered "You want her to help save an innocent woman from a terrible fate and she's busy, you've got an apocalyptic battle and her schedule clears right up."

"Wes she'll die in there!" Angel shouted "What do we do?"

Harmony walked up to Lilah and punched her in the face.

Lilah gave Harmony a funny look. "What was that supposed to accomplish?"

Harmony shrugged. "I just want to help. I thought you might tell us how to get inside."

Wes shook his head. "The spell will be in effect until the ceremony is complete."

"I don't understand." Angel said "What's going on in there?"

…

With Kennedy and Xander protecting her Willow performed binding spell after binding spell. In the confusion it was difficult to concentrate enough to zone in in a single aura and perform the spell. There were so many wolves and Willow made little headway.

"Heads up." Faith threw a wolf off a blond woman who had a scar from a vampire bite.

Willow threw up her hand and the wolf hit an invisible barrier instead of Xander. "You can't do that and perform the spell at the same time?" He asked

"No and I can't talk and perform the spell at the same time either."

A man Willow recognized as Angel's friend Gunn ran downstairs leading a group of civilians. "Head for the doors!" He ordered

"To late," Conner said "There's some sort of spell, get everybody back upstairs."

"The rooms are crawling with werewolves!" Gunn said

"The basement!" The blond woman said "We can use the cage!"

"Willow look out!" Kennedy tackled her as a werewolf hit the ground where she had been standing. The wolf turned and looked at her, their eyes met.

"Oz?"

"No way!" Spike shouted "We can't open the cage."

"We have to!" Conner said

Another wolf attacked Kennedy and she threw it off her onto the tile floor with such force its neck snapped. The wolf transformed into a young black woman. Kennedy froze in horror at the woman's limp form. Another wolf ran toward Willow and before she could use a spell to defend herself the wolf she had been looking at attacked it. "Kennedy!"

"We're not letting your bloody girlfriend out!"

"These people will be safe in there!" Kate insisted

"We have to think of another way!" Gunn said as he kicked a wolf down the stairs. A woman behind him screamed as a wolf jumped on her back and Gunn grabbed it by the neck and shoved it over the banister. The creature's spine snapped and a freckled Irish boy took its place.

Willow watched the wolf, who was she kidding, she watched Oz tear out the other wolf's throat. His muzzle drenched in blood he started toward her, but stopped when the ground began to shake. Willow looked at the middle of the room where the tile was starting to crack. Oz walked toward the crack. "Oz stop!"

"Oz?" Buffy looked around. "What?"

The air around them began to shimmer, some sections took on a golden glow. The crack widened. The warriors tried to keep the people away from the opening portal. Screams grew louder as many of the wounded watched the blood start to flow from them faster and without any regard for gravity. Blood rushed toward the crack. Gunn grabbed his arm, but the blood slipped under his fingers and rushed to the crack. Willow ran over to him and put her hands on his arm focusing her healing energy on his wound. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. When she lifted her hands the wound was healed.

"Conner!" A woman Willow had never seen before called out to Angel's son. "What's happening?" Blood was pulled through the rip in her shirt and shot to the opening in the floor.

Willow started to run over to her but the light around the woman began to bend. She began to slide to the ground like gravity around her had doubled. The same thing was happening to people all over the lobby. "Oh my God," Gunn said

"What is this?" Willow asked

"We're being sacrificed." The walls began to waver, plaster fell from the ceiling. From the widening split a hand emerged. A marble hand bathed in golden light grasped the edge of the chasm. A woman coated in slippery yellow shimmers pulled herself up. She grabbed one of the fallen bleeders. She pushed him into the chasm. The hotel shook a little more and the woman became a little more stable, a little more there.

"What is she?" Willow asked in a tone equal parts horror and awe

"The Wolf," Gunn replied as the building continued to break apart.

The Wolf grabbed people surrounded by the light and one by one threw them into the chasm, becoming more solid as she did. They tried to reach the people, to help them, to pull them out of the horrible glow. They couldn't reach them somehow, they felt themselves repelled.

"Mom!" Conner screamed as the Wolf grabbed the woman who had cried out to him.

"Conner!" She begged "Help me Conner!"

Conner tried to run to her, but the light was to dazzling, to confusing. He found himself even farther away as he tried to go closer. "Mom wait!" The Wolf threw her into the chasm.

The staircase toppled over, smashing to pieces. One of the larger pieces pinned Spike and Buffy to the ground. Willow swung her hand and the wood exploded into a thousand smaller bits. Buffy stumbled to her feet and helped Spike do the same. The ceiling developed a spider web pattern. "It's going to come down on top of us." Gunn marveled

"We're going to die." Kate whispered from behind them

"No," Willow's eyes went black. "We're not."

…

"Wesley do something!" Angel begged. He was unable to process reason or logic. "We have to get them out of there!" There was nothing either of them could do, but he needed to do something. He turned to Lilah. He grabbed her by the throat and threw her to the ground.

She laughed. "Beat the dead woman, that'll do you a lot of good."

Angel kicked her in the abdomen. Lilah didn't feel a thing. "Do you think anything you do to me will make a difference? I can't feel anything. I'm as dead as your friends."

"No!" Angel cried out. "This can't be happening! I was supposed to save the world, not destroy it!" He grabbed Lilah by her jacket collar. "I killed them!"

Lilah laughed like a mad woman. "Who do you mean? Are you talking about the circle of the black thorn, or your friends?"

Angel dropped her and fell to his knees. "This can't be happening." He watched the Hyperion begin to shake. He watched pieces of the walls fall to the ground.

"What did we do to deserve this?" Wesley whispered

"You dared to feel." Lilah said as the walls of the Hyperion crumbled to nothing in front of them. "You dared to think you could have what your betters could not."

The dust cleared to reveal two amazing things in front of them. One was terrible and one was wonderful. One was a beautiful woman with the power to destroy worlds. One was a shimmering green orb that contained Angel's friends and allies.

"Well that was… unexpected." Lilah said

…

The Wolf looked at the green sphere. It wasn't supposed to be there. She reached out to touch it, it was solid. She pushed, but it did not yield. "Huh," She seemed surprised, and suspired that she could be surprised. "Huh," She said again "This world is not yet bending to my will."

The Wolf slammed her fist into the ground. The skeleton of the building collapsed to dust. Where the Hyperion had once stood nothing remained but that green sphere. "That's better, but something still isn't right." She examined the sphere. "Hello witch."

The red-haired woman clutched the hand of the woman standing next to her. The Wolf smiled. "Do you know what I am going to do to your girlfriend?" She didn't wait for Willow to answer, she saw everything in her mind. "I'm going to cut her open and look inside." The wolf pictured the throbbing whirly red mess. "Then I'm going to put fire in there, see what burns. I'm going to make you watch. I'll use your tears to put out the fire and use your honey's skeleton to build the base of my throne. Then I'm going to take you to a room where the other two slayers are chained to hot coals. Their pretty faces will be ugly red scars. I'll cut out their extra bits and feed them to each other. I'll let them have peace when they are a breath from death, but only if you put the knife in yourself. Then I'll make you watch me play with Xander for the rest of eternity. I'll keep him alive for centuries, until you've gone mad and forgot his name. Then I'll remind you in time for you to see him choke on fire. The last thing I'll do is lock you in the coffin of perpetuity. Would you like that?"

Kennedy's hand was white from the force Willow was squeezing it with. "Please,"

"You would like me to spare yours?" The Wolf said kindly "I can make it instantaneous."

Willow stared, eyes wide, skin paper-white. "Mercy," She whimpered

"Put down the shield. You won't feel a thing."

"Leave her alone." A voice said from behind

The Wolf turned, feeling that strange emotion of surprise again. "Such a brave little ghost who dares to speak to me. I can send you to hell with a word."

"I'm already there." Wesley said "Willow's not going to fall for your party trick, so why don't you go back to where you came from? But thanks for stopping by."

A creeping grin took over the Wolf's face. It made her whole face shine. "Are you giving up Wesley Wyndham-Price? Have you nothing left of your pretty soul? Are there no bits left for me to devour? You were so pretty. My sister didn't think much of you, but I saw it in you."

"I won't fall for it." Wesley said

The Wolf walked up to him. She put her mouth a breath away from his ear. "I can see inside your mind. I can see your past, your future. I can see you."

"I don't have a future."

She giggled. "You feel so sorry for yourself, why? You were a terrible son and a worse student. Your father couldn't wait to be sod of you and the watcher's council sent you to America just to get you out of their hair. You were made a fool of by a vapid valley girl. They all laughed at you Wesley. Even Cordelia was laughing, she was just stringing you along. She thought you were funny, like a pet monkey. Angel thought of you as a walking encyclopedia, not a person, not a man. He thought of you as less human than even him. Why shouldn't he, after what you did? Why shouldn't he want to put you down like a sick animal?"

Wesley stood paralyzed by her poisonous words. "You don't know what you're talking about." He said, but did not believe. "You're trying to trick me."

"She never loved you, sunshine. No one ever loved you. You were despised from the moment you entered your mother's belly. You have always been unwanted. You cannot name one person who ever loved you. Say a name Wesley. Say just one name."

The Wolf felt a hand grab her arm and try to tug with puny mortal strength. The vampire's teeth grew. "Angel," he said as he continued to try and move her. "Fred Burkle," He hit her in the face and his fist bounced off. "Cordelia Chase," He threw his whole wait into her and she didn't budge. "Charles Gun," The Wolf grew bored and tossed the vampire against the sphere where he slid to the floor.

"Now," She returned her attention to Wesley and saw him smiling. "Dammit," She said as if she had broken a nail. "Oh well, I see your mind and there are bits left, but you will fade to nothing soon. I will enjoy that, to know that your existence has perished."

"I'll enjoy seeing that happen to you." Wesley said

The Wolf chuckled. With terrible speed and ferocity she grabbed his neck. "I have power you know not." She whispered "I am above natural law." She shoved his chest and he flew back, going through a pile of rubble.

The Wolf began to walk away. She was between Harmony and Lilah when Wesley stood up and cried out to her. "Wait!" She stopped. "I want to make a deal with you."

"I see." She whispered.

Wesley felt alive. He knew he wasn't and knew it would fade, but for a moment he could still feel her hand around his neck and he could remember everything. He could remember who he was. "You know what I want. You know what you get in return."

The Wolf nodded. "I agree." Wesley couldn't see her smile, only her golden curls. She left. The ruins of her return stared at her back as it faded away.

Angel stumbled to his feet as Willow released the magic that separated them. Lilah headed back to the office while Wesley watched her go. He thought about the deal he had just made. Angel stared at the people Willow had saved, a few of them were werewolves, no longer transformed. One very naked blond young woman was familiar to him. "Nina,"

"Well," Harmony said "That wasn't good."

…

Buffy walked up to Angel. "Angel,"

"Buffy," Angel said, watching those who were able help those who were not to their feet.

"How have you been?" Buffy was eyeing Harmony suspiciously.

"Oh you know, apocalypse," Willow handed, was that Oz, her jacket.

"You could have called." Buffy was surprised to see Wesley, she thought he was dead.

"Figured you were busy," Faith started toward Wesley. Angel's heart went out to her when he saw the relief on her face. She was going to be so disappointed.

"You could have let me know about Spike." Buffy saw Faith approach her old watcher.

"English, I heard you were dead," Faith tried to give Wesley a good-natured punch in the arm and her fist went right through him. The smile fell off her face. "Guess I heard right."

"Faith," Wesley said "It's good to see you."

Buffy winced. "What happened?" She asked Angel

"A lot, a lot of things happened."

"I have to go." Wesley said "I'll be back soon." The ghost followed the footsteps of his old lover. Faith and Buffy watched him go. Angel was watching his werewolf girlfriend accept a jacket from one of the surviving civilians. Angel was surprised they had any left.

"I'm going to." Harmony said, wary of being around three slayers. "Wait up Wes!"

Willow approached the vampire and two slayers. "We need to talk."

"We will." Angel promised "Not here, this place belongs to them now."

"Where can we go?" Buffy asked

"I know a safe place." Angel said "But it's pretty… awful."

"Worse than this?" Buffy asked

…

Wes entered Lilah's office, she was standing in the middle of the room with her arms crossed over her chest, not even pretending to work. The scar from her decapitation glared at him accusingly. She looked like she was slowly melting away. "What was it?" She asked

Wesley didn't need clarification. "Do you remember when I broke into the hall of records?" Wesley asked, knowing she did, knowing she remembered it was to get her contract and release her from her bonds to Wolfram and Hart.

"What did you do?" Lilah sounded horrified

"He bought you a second chance." Lilah turned to see a beautiful brunette standing next to her. Cordelia Chase was smiling at her. "Lord knows why."

"What are you doing here?" Lilah said scornfully

"I'm here to offer you a second chance." Cordelia said

"The powers want to offer me a second chance?" Lilah was incredulous.

"Let's just say I have a little pull with the powers and leave it at that."

"Why would you want to use that pull to help me? You hate me."

"True," Cordelia conceded in her typical say-what-I-mean fashion. "But a friend of mine cares deeply about you and wants you to have a chance to undo the damage you have done."

"Is that right?" Lilah glared at Wesley

"You don't have to take the offer." Cordelia assured her "Like I said, I'm just here as a favor to a friend. I have no investment in your choice."

Lilah stared at Wesley. "Why did you do this?"

"What do you want me to say? I wanted you to be free, so I made a deal to release you from your contract. That's all I could do. You have to pick what happens next."

"How did you know Cordelia would show up?"

"I didn't." Wes admitted "I just wanted you to be free."

Lilah gave her attention back to Cordelia. "What happens if I don't go with you?"

"What do you think?"

"What happens if I do go with you?"

"You work for me." Cordelia said, her pleased tone of voice made it clear the irony of this was not in any way lost on her. "We make a difference."

Lilah looked terrified. She walked up to Wesley. "I have to know why."

"It wasn't just about sex Lilah." Wesley said

"You cared about me?" Lilah asked

"I did, I do."

"Did you love me, even for a moment?" Lilah asked

"I don't know, I think so." Wesley felt like someone had put his heart in a taffy-puller.

"I want to hug you, why can't I hug you?" Lilah asked, tears spilling down her face.

"It's okay Lilah, everything is going to be okay now."

"You can't know that." Lilah said "You can't know everything."

"Lilah," Cordelia spoke up "If you want to go we need to go." But her voice was full of kindness and understanding. Wes looked at his old friend, his eyes full of thanks and love.

Lilah kept looking at Wesley. "I'm scared."

"Me to," Wesley said with a chuckle.

Lilah laughed through her tears. "Can someone like me be saved?"

"Apparently," Wesley said

"You saved me." Lilah said

"No Lilah, you have to save yourself." Wesley said "It's going to be a lot of work."

Lila nodded, her face changed. She wiped the tears from her face and stood with her back straight. She looked like the old Lilah, but a little different, a little less sinister. "I'm ready." She turned to face Cordelia and saw the woman was holding open a white door. "I'm ready," She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Lilah walked through the door.

Cordelia closed the door and it disappeared. "Do you really think she can do it?"

"Would you have come if she couldn't?" Wesley asked

"Wesley-"

"Cordelia!" Harmony caught a glimpse of her old high school friend through the glass. "I can't believe you're here!" She said as she rushed into the room. "Hey!" Harmony embraced her.

Cordelia smiled as she returned the hug. "I can't stay for long." She held Harmony and looked into her eyes, then kissed her lightly on the forehead. "Can you give me a minute with Wes?" She asked a slightly dazed-looking Harmony.

"Sure," She stumbled from the room.

"What did you-"

"Close your eyes." Cordelia commanded

Wes immediately obeyed. "I miss you." He said

"I miss you to." Cordelia put a hand on either side of his face and Wesley was surprised that he could feel it. "I have power to. The coming days are pivotal, my influence wanes. You will effect what becomes of this world. There is no one I trust more to do the job you must do."

Wesley felt Cordelia's lips on his forehead and opened his eyes. She was gone.

"Beautiful," The Wolf said as she entered the room. "Inspiring,"

"We'll win." Wesley said "I know that now."

"Of course," The Wolf said patronizingly "Of course you will. Now run along and play with your little friends." Wesley started to go as she sat down on Lilah's desk. "Oh and Wes,"

"Yes?"

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you."

…

Shifting through the rubble was hard work with no shovels or tools of any kind. Angel had only Buffy and Faith for help. He had instructed Spike, Kate, and Gunn to lead the others to the abbey where they would be safe. He had to stay behind to dig out Illyria.

"So," Faith said "Can we at least get the cliff notes version?"

Angel sighed. "The Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart are powerful demonic entities that rule a hell dimension." He explained "They've been trying to get back to this dimension for basically ever. The time set aside for them to return was coming so I killed their earthly agents, the circle of the black thorn. Wesley died taking on a member who was a powerful wizard. The senior partners, The Wolf, Ram, and Hart, released hell on earth in L.A. as punishment. They still want to cross over though. I think this time is significant somehow and the crossing has to be now."

"But the people who are supposed to help them are dead?" Faith asked

"Use of the word people is a stretch, but yeah." Angel replied

"So that's good then." Buffy said "Now they have to do their own dirty work."

"Buffy and Giles thought you were evil." Faith said on a totally unrelated note, clearly just wanting to stir up tension between the two.

"Thanks for the confidence." Angel said dryly

"It was mostly Giles." Buffy shifted the blame to her old watcher while glaring at Faith.

"He was pretty confident in your evilness." Faith said

"I wouldn't say that." Buffy defended Giles "He said Angel may have switched sides, may have does not translate to pretty confident."

"I'm glad Giles only thought I might be evil." Angel said sarcastically

"Well I knew you weren't evil." Faith said "Only a spell could turn you evil."

"There could have been a spell, we didn't know." Buffy said

"Well next time you think I'm evil try ringing me up and saying 'Hey Angel, just thought I'd catch up, by the way are you evil?' or try answering your phone when I call you."

"Sorry," Buffy blushed and she really did look sorry.

"I needed your help Buffy." Angel spoke in a softer voice. "I was counting on you."

Buffy focused on moving rubble, unable to look at her old lover. Faith and Angel maintained the awkward silence until Wesley showed up. "Lilah's gone." He said

"What happened? Does this have anything to do with your deal?" Angel had been surprised Wesley would make a deal with the Wolf, but trusted he knew what he was doing.

"Yeah, and Cordelia stopped by."

Angel dropped a pile of rocks on his feet and didn't even notice. He stared at Wesley, uncomprehending. "What? Cordelia? How?"

"I thought Cordelia was dead." Faith said

"Well you know how she works for the powers now?" Wesley asked

Angel nodded while Buffy and Faith exchanged confused looks.

"She showed up to offer Lilah a chance at redemption." Wes explained "The deal I made with the Wolf was to release Lilah from her contract."

"In exchange for what?" Buffy asked suspiciously

"Killing Illyria," Wes pointed at the corner of a metal cage Faith had just revealed by rolling over a large chunk of a stone column. "Which we were going to do anyway."

"Because?" Buffy demanded

"She killed Fred." Angel said, leaving out the moral ambiguity of the situation. "Killing Illyria will bring her back." Angel looked at Wes as if to say 'right?'

"As long as you still have the file." Wesley said

Angel pulled it out of his pocket. "Can't read any of it, but I still have it."

"Willow should be able to work the spell." Wes said

"What happens to you?" Faith asked

Wesley looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Is there a way for you to… come back? I mean are you stuck like that?"

"I think when my purpose here is done I just sort of fade away." Wes explained

Faith looked stricken by this news. "So you really are dead?"

Wesley nodded. "I'm sorry Faith."

"No it's just…" Faith looked away, trying to conceal something. "I just feel bad now about all the times I tried to kill you." She lied; not that it was a lie, but that wasn't why she was upset. Faith didn't want Wesley to be dead, she wanted to save him, but he was already gone.

"Well I forgive you." Wesley said "We've all done things we regret haven't we?"

…

Spike and Kate led the group. Gunn was in the back supporting Anne, who walked like a zombie, slow and without aim. "We never picked up the bodies." Kate said

Spike nodded. "The place will smell pretty ripe."

"They should have been given a proper burial.

"Things got in the way." Spike said while thinking but wisely not saying that having sex with Angel had been one of Kate's things. He liked his heart to be without a stake in it.

"We shouldn't have let them. It should have been our top priority."

"Stopping the apocalypse is our top priority." Spike said

"We're doing a bang-up job." Kate cracked

Spike bit his tongue to stop himself from making a joke like: you're right about the banging part. He managed to banish the thought by picturing himself as a pile of dust.

Xander felt weird seeing Oz again, especially a semi-nude Oz; that jacked the awkwardness level right up. "So, how you been?"

"You know," Oz said "Walking the earth type stuff."

"Cool," Xander said "I've been doing a lot of traveling myself; watcher stuff mostly."

"So you're like a watcher now?"

"It's weird." Xander admitted "Not as weird as… this, but the job's rewarding, I guess."

"You sound unsure." Oz said

"Yeah well, sometimes I feel like I only have this job because Buffy feels bad for me. I mean it's like, poor Xander got his eye squished by a psychotic misogynistic ex-preacher."

"Right," Oz said "That sounds rough, how'd that happen?"

"It's a long story." Xander said with a hand-wave. "The point is, I sometimes wonder if I'm really an asset to the team. Plus Andrew has the same job as me so that's embarrassing."

"Andrew?" Oz asked

"Tucker's brother," Xander explained

"Oh, well yeah I see your point there. I guess you just have to decide if you're happy where you are. That's what's important."

"I guess," Xander wondered if he was, if being a watcher fulfilled him.

"So how's Willow?" Oz asked "She good?"

Xander wished there was a book titled 'How to talk to a half-naked werewolf about his lesbian ex-girlfriend without embarrassing both of you' but there wasn't so he just gave it his best shot. "She's good, seeing someone."

"Tara?" Oz asked and Xander felt a tear in his heart.

"She's dead."

Oz sensed this was a painful topic for Xander and didn't press. He instead asked more about Xander's job. Xander explained he was living in Sydney training the Australian slayers.

Conner could hear all of these conversations and he trembled with rage as he walked next to his shell-shocked father and tearful sisters. How could these people speak? How could they breathe? The world was over. His world was over. "Home is wherever I am." Conner whispered.

"Conner?" His father said

"I have to save her."

"She's…" He couldn't believe the words he had to say to his son. "She's dead Conner, I can't believe she's dead. The way she died… it's all so impossible."

Conner stopped, he stood there for an instant and in that instant everything fell into place.

"Conner," A female voice said, Teresa the annoying hybrid "Please don't."

He turned to look at her, and Lorne who was standing behind her. "What?"

"I can see what will come of it. Cordelia showed me."

"You know nothing." Conner said "You see nothing. You are blind." He took off running and so did Teresa, but not after him. She ran to the front of the procession, up to Spike.

"You have to stop Conner, I had a vision and terrible things happen if he makes it back to the Hyperion." She recalled what had happened. "To where the Hyperion used to be."

Spike nodded. "You take care of them." He told Kate and then ran after Conner.

…

"So this is Illyria huh?" Faith said "She looks exactly like Fred."

"I'll take your word for it." Said Buffy

The two slayers, the vampire, and the ghost stood in front of the cage holding a silent Illyria who gazed at them with utter contempt. "We should get started toward the abbey." Wes said "That was a good idea Angel, the Wolf should be much less powerful there if she is able to enter at all in her weakened state-"

"That's her weakened state?" Buffy exclaimed

"She will be more powerful when she gathers her energies, and even more powerful if she succeeds in bringing over the Ram." Wesley explained

"That's not gonna happen." Angel said as he gripped on of the cage's metal bars. "Let's go." The slayers helped him lift the cage from the ground and they started off.

"To bad you're all go-throughable and can't give us a hand." Faith told Wesley.

"I'm devastated about that." He said in the most dead-pan voice imaginable

The trio stopped as Conner ran up to them. "Dammit." Angel said

"Hey Conner," said Faith "Did you miss me?"

"Put her down." Conner demanded

Spike ran up to them. "You're fast kid; let's go." He grabbed Conner's arm.

Conner grabbed Spike's wrist and twisted his arm. He shoved the vampire back and picked up a sharp piece of wood from the surrounding debris. Angel, Buffy, and Faith dropped Illyria's cage. The old one fell against the metal bars, she watched the action unfold.

Faith grabbed Conner's wrist and punched him in the stomach. The boy gasped as Buffy grasped his shoulders and tossed him into the wreckage. Angel rushed over to help his son up but Conner punched him in the face. Angel reeled back, clutching his sore jaw. "Ow!" If he weren't a vampire he would have a broken jaw. "Conner what the hell?"

"I won't let you kill her! I won't let you kill her to!"

"To?" Buffy questioned

"You're responsible for Cordy's death! You let Fred die! You let my mother die!"

"What are you- did something happen to your mother?"

"The Wolf took her." Conner said "She's dead."

"Conner I'm so-"

"Shut up, just shut up!"

Buffy whispered to Faith. "I thought you said Darla was Conner's mother."

Faith whispered back. "If it's important I'm sure Angel will explain later."

"Conner I'm sorry things got so bad." Angel spoke with the utmost sincerity, but Conner didn't see it. "I wanted to protect you, I wanted that more than anything in the world."

"You failed." Conner spat

"I'm so sorry." Angel punched Conner in the face and the boy fell to the ground. "But I have to do this. Spike," The blond vampire dragged the boy to his feet and led him back toward the abbey. "You guys going to give me a hand with this?" He asked the stunned slayers


	9. Trade

Lilah stood on top of a tall mountain, looking down at the winding rivers below. There was a forest littered with footpaths. Each had many bridges over the various rivers. The forest stretched on forever. All of the paths ended at the mountain, but some looked almost impossible to follow to the end. "What is this place?" Lilah asked

"I like to think of it as the place where all metaphors take place." An Irish accent said behind her. "It looks the part."

Lilah turned around and looked at the man. "I know who you are." She told Doyle

"I know you to Lilah, I've been watching you."

"Really," She said "I'm flattered."

"Well it's more that I was watching Angel and Cordy and you just happened to be there."

"So you know all about me huh?" Lilah found she didn't like the idea.

"Yeah, I guess I do. You're a bitch, you know that?"

"I've been told." Lilah said

"I remember." He said "Cordy got to ya, got you to shoot Billy."

"He was a bastard." Lilah recalled

"That he was, and the world is full of people like him, you're used to dealing with those sorts, but that's not what we need you to do now. We need you to help the people standing where you are." Doyle gestured to the ledge. "We need you to show them the other options."

"You need me to tell them I was bad and I regret it and that their suffering has meaning oh and cheer up life gets better. You want me to bring them over to the Powers with false promises of happiness and a light at the end of the tunnel." Lilah said scornfully

"No, we want you to tell them the truth; that the path to paradise is long and painful and at times will seem worse than hell, but it is worth it not just because of the reward, but because of the journey. You are about to embark on a journey Lilah. Are you ready?"

…

Willow looked over the papers. "I can do this." She could, but the kind of magic it would take was frightening, and as for the results… "Do you understand what you're asking me to do?"

"We understand." Angel said "We're begging you to do it."

Willow looked at Spike, Gunn, Angel and Wesley. "You're asking me to give someone a fate arguably worse than hell. Illyria would be sent out of phase with all dimensions. She'll spend an eternity in pain, with no form. She'll have no reprieve, her agony will be endless. She'll endure all of this in nothingness, apart from all worlds. You're asking me to do that to a living creature. You're asking me to do something far more vicious than murder."

"We take full responsibility." Wesley promised

"It's not about that." Willow insisted, she now knew why they wanted to talk this over with her alone "For me to use my powers in such a way brings me close to terrible darkness."

"We wouldn't ask if there were any other way." Wes said softly

Willow looked at him and she understood. She remembered Fred; sweet, lovely, smart Fred. Wesley was in love with her and Willow understood why. She understood what it was like to lose someone and to be willing to do anything to get them back. "I have to think about this."

"Willow, Illyria was never meant to return to this world." Angel said "Even if she remained, after what we did she'll just try to kill us. We have enough to worry about without another vengeful ex-god gunning for us." Angel intentionally phrased his statement in such a way to remind Willow of Glory. He knew subconsciously reminding Willow of Buffy's death and what she had done to get her back was manipulative, but he need her to be on their side.

"Please red," Spike said in a voice of startling sincerity "We need her back."

Willow looked deep into Spike's eyes. She saw a selfless concern in them she didn't think the vamp could feel for anyone but Buffy. It touched her. "Spike,"

"Look," Gunn was staring at his hands. "You don't know me very well," He said "You don't have any reason to care about me. Here's the deal though, I know a thing or two about eternal torment. I murdered Fred, I sold her soul for a mental upgrade. I didn't know, but that doesn't change the way I feel. If I could take Illyria's place and convince you to do the spell that way I would. I can't, so you just figure out what you need to justify this in your mind and let us know what you need. I don't care what you have to tell yourself, bring her back."

Willow looked at the papers in front of her. "I have to-"

"If you don't do the spell I get sent to hell." Wesley said bluntly

"What?" Willow looked around the room, but the other occupants were just as confused as she was. Except Angel had a suspicion, remembering the deal.

"I made a deal with the Wolf. If we don't get rid of Illyria I haven't kept my end of the deal. I'm pretty sure that means I get to spend eternity in hell." Wesley said "So there's that."

Willow looked stricken. Angel tried to console her. "We're sorry to put you in this-"

"I'll do it." She cut him off. Willow looked deep into Wesley's eyes. "I felt you die. It hurt, and there were all these awful sensations, of being ripped from a mortal body, then being tied to the earth while the soul tries to cross over. It hurt so bad and you felt all that." She stared at Wesley. "You don't even remember. I can see your aura fading, soon you'll be nothing but a shell; you won't even know your name. I'll do this thing for you, because your last moments on this earth are coming and I think there should be a chance they are happy ones."

They all stood frozen by this revelation. Gunn looked at his friend. "Wes, you-"

"Thank you Willow." Wesley said "I appreciate this."

…

"Anne?" Gunn walked into her room. "Are you okay?" What a stupid question.

Anne sat on the side of her bed, gripping her shoulders. To his surprise she spoke. "I wanted to save them. I was willing to betray all of you to save them. Now they're dead."

"I know." Gunn was unable to think of anything better to say.

"I made so many mistakes, I hit rock bottom. Then I was given a chance to rebuild my life from scratch. I became somebody, I did good." She continued to look at the wall and speak in a listless voice. "You asked me what I would do if I found out none of it matters."

"I was having a rough day, thought I might not make it." Gunn tried to explain

Anne continued as if he hadn't spoken. "I helped people, I can still help people."

"Yes you can." Gunn said with enthusisim.

"I'm going to start over again." Anne decided "But I won't forget. I'm not changing my name this time, pretending the past didn't happen. I'll remember the good… and the bad."

"I'll help you." Gunn said "Whatever you need,"

Finally she looked at him. "Give me something to do."

…

Angel approached the site of the Hyperion. He stood where his home used to be and thought about how twenty-eight innocent souls had died here. This wasn't his home anymore.

"No," The Wolf agreed; she came out of nowhere, but Angel wasn't surprised.

"You can read my mind."

"I can. I can see anything even if it is concealed. Such is the power of my eyes. All that I touch I can reduce to ash. Such is the power of my hands. All that corrodes I can endure. Such is the power of my will. You know what I am." She was so confident, it was a perverse charisma.

"I don't." Angel said truthfully, but he felt part of him did

"You know of the First." Not a question

"We've met." Angel said

"We were his first disiples, and his most powerful. We are as we are the only of his students not to be tainted. We are still pure, we withstand, we endure."

"That would be inspiring." Angel said as they faced each other with the hole she had used to crawl out of her hell a few yards to their left "If it weren't for the whole evil thing."

"I do not mean to inspire you. Prophecy dictates that when the world ends you will be there and you will play a part. For this reason you live, none other. You think we fear you, but we are only playing by the rules of the game. The rules say you live, so you live. That is all. Your mortal lives hold great fascination for us, but do not mistake this for humanity. I like watching you, I like playing with you. But at the end of the day I will eat you, because I am hungry." She smiled at him, this beautiful woman, this ancient evil.

"Why?"

"We are higher beings, beyond your comprehension. We desire, so we take. We know no other way, nor do we wish to. Your humans are pretty, we like them, so we take them."

"You are not a higher being." Angel insisted

"Our power is beyond any you have ever seen before. We were the first to be imbued with the power of evil, we were the first to allow it to fill us, and the only to never doubt it."

"So what?" Angel asked "So you're evil, so you're powerful. I've seen all that before."

"Foolish mortal," The Wolf spoke like an indulging parent "You do not comprehend."

"I don't want to." Angel said

"Then why are you here?" The Wolf gestured at the destruction.

"To mourn, to remind myself why I have to defeat you." Angel answered

"You think their lives had meaning." The Wolf said

Angel walked over to the tear in the earth, looked into the darkness. "It's closed. What happened to the people you threw in, the ones that kept you from having to go back?"

"Clever boy," The Wolf continued to speak in her motherly voice "Their bodies are dead, but I had no claim to their souls. This world is not yet mine. Their souls belong to whoever they served and went on to the place prepared for them by thier master."

Angel nodded. "Conner thinks…"

"Yes, Conner, let's talk about him."

…

Buffy was pissed. She wanted to talk to Angel about what was going on, but the second they had gotten back he'd gathered his crew and asked Willow to give them a consultation on something. When they returned from their seclusion he'd taken off without a word. Now everyone was looking at her, expecting her to do or say something. What was she supposed to do when she had no idea what was going on? She surveyed the room. Willow, Kennedy, Xander, and Faith had come here with her. Spike she of course knew. Wesley she knew as well, or thought she did. Willow had told Buffy about her trip to L.A. and how much the watcher had changed. None of the werewolves were here, including Oz, they probably were looking for better clothes. The people she didn't know were a young black man, the woman whose hand he was holding, a blond woman with a scar on her neck like the one she had, Angel's son and two demons who she wasn't quite sure why they were here.

"Okay," She sighed "Does anybody know where Angel went?"

"I do." The female demon said "I had a vision."

"Okay, who are you?" Buffy wasn't in the habit of trusting strange demons.

"I'm Teresa, I can read minds and sometimes I get visions of the future."

"Okay, where's Angel?"

"He went back to the Hyperion to meet with the Wolf."

Buffy felt her blood run cold. "Why?"

Teresa shrugged. "I just saw them talking, maybe it's one of those things like in the movies where James Bond talks to the baddie over a cup of tea or a shot of alcohol."

"Isn't James Bond usually being held captive when that happens?" Xander asked

"Bad example," Teresa admitted

"Okay," Buffy said before realizing she'd said that four times in a short conversation. She needed to get her bearings and none of this was helping. Despite her desire to keep her former watcher out of danger she wished Giles was here. He would know what to do. But there was another watcher here, and despite what she thought of Wesley he was the only person in the room who didn't look confused, scared, angry, or some combination thereof. In fact Wesley didn't look much of anything at all, just sort of there. Buffy figures it was a ghost thing. "Wes,"

The former watcher looked at her. "Yes Buffy,"

"What can you tell me about the Wolf, Ram, and Hart?"

"Would you like me to stick only to known facts or inform you of the theory I'm working on?" Wesley asked her in the most cooperative manner possible

"Is it a useful theory?"

"I think so."

"Please share." Buffy requested

"For the longest time I've been focusing on why the Wolf, the Ram, and the Hart chose now for the time of their crossing. I know they've been planning something for a long time, but eliminating the circle of the black thorn should have pushed their plans back considerably. For some reason they had to push ahead with their plans even though eliminating the circle weakened them. I thought it had something to do with Angel and the prophecy that predicts he plays a pivotal role in the apocalypse. But now I think I've been looking at this the wrong way from the start. I believe that not all of the Wolf's, Ram's, and Hart's connections to this dimension were severed when they left. I believe that each left an essence of themselves here somehow kept by humanity. I think the Wolf created werewolves, and they are her connection to this plane. I believe the Ram and Hart have similar connections."

Buffy let all of this wash over her. "If we find the other connections, and sever them, what happens? Can the Ram and Hart still cross over?"

Wesley shook his head. "It's just a theory, but if I'm right, I don't think it would be possible to sever the connections. The connections will be something alive and continuous. To sever the connections would be like killing every werewolf in the world; even if it were moral, which I don't think it is, it would be as hard as killing every vamp-" Wesley stopped midsentence. "Pire," He finished in a whisper "Oh my God, I'm a bloody idiot."

"We know," Spike assured him "Why exactly?"

"Human altered by the spirit of a demon, of course vampires." Wesley said

"Uh English translation please?" Xander asked

"Wesley thinks the Ram or Hart created vampires." Willow explained

"Like the Wolf created werewolves yes," Wesley agreed "Therefore it stands to reason that in a similar manner to the influence the Wolf had over werewolves-"

"Whoever created vampires can control them." Buffy finished

"But she couldn't." Willow said "The Wolf, control the werewolves." She explained. "Oz wasn't totally under her control. He protected me from another werewolf." Kennedy looked at her girlfriend, unsure about how she felt about Willow's ex being here.

"That's good." Wesley said "She still doesn't have full strength."

"It doesn't matter." They all turned to look at Angel as he came through the door. He looked exhausted and sad, so very sad. He held a knife in his hand which he threw on the floor.

Willow gaped. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Probably," Angel said "The Wolf gave it to me, wanted me to use it."

"I don't understand." Willow said

"I'll explain." Angel said "I now know why evil likes the dark. Those of us who faced the First, we've seen pure evil, but everyone else, you have no idea. Pure evil isn't tainted by humanity, so it doesn't seek out the dark. Evil likes the dark because in those who have any humanity or decency, even in residual amounts it breeds shame and doubt. The first had only three disciples whose evil remains pure. There are only three purely evil beings besides it."

"The Wolf, Ram, and Hart." Buffy said "Okay, but-"

Angel didn't let her finish. "I just looked into the eyes of pure evil and do you know what I saw?" He looked around the room, everyone was waiting in trepidation. "We have a chance."

This answer was a shock to many. "I spoke to a creature incapable of mercy and she offered me a way out. She knows we have a chance, she knows that when united we have strength, so she wants us split apart. This knife, Willow tell everyone what it does."

"It was used in ancient sacrifices. It burns up all impurities in a person, leaves only the clean soul, then kills the body. This way a sacrifice was always pure." Willow said

"That's pretty much how she explained it to me. She told me to use the knife." Angel gestured toward it, clearly not wanting to touch it. "She said if I killed my friends with it they would get to move on to paradise, where their sins couldn't follow. She said I could walk away, ensure peace for those who never knew it in life, and then live for millennia. She offered this to me because she knows we have the power to stop her." Angel surveyed the room. Many of the people here were broken, but together, they made a whole. "We just have to stick together."

"Can we get rid of that thing please?" Lorne asked, pointing at the knife

"We should lock it up." Wesley said

"I'll do it." Faith offered "I'll look for a safe somewhere around here."

"Great," Angel said "Willow," Willow looked at him. She knew what he wanted, but she wasn't so frightened any more. Yes it was a terrible thing she was going to do to a living creature, but a great thing she was going to do for another. Poor, sweet Fred was going to get a second chance at life. Angel locked eyes with her. "Are you ready?"

"It's going to be loud." Willow said "Let's get started."

…

Nina heard a knock on the door to the room she and a fellow female werewolf had decided to share. They hadn't spoken much, but it was nice to have company.

Somehow she knew it would be Oz. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Nina I'm sorry." He looked it.

"You told me I had to be strong, fight the change. You said if I didn't you would leave me; but all along you were the weak one. You were the one who couldn't fight the change."

"I tried, I wasn't strong enough." Oz said "I'm so sorry."

"You threatened to leave me if I was weak; you were weak, so I'm leaving you."

"I only said that to help you fight, I was never going to-"

Nina cut him off. "I could have fought off the change. Once you went though, I had to or you might have attacked me. Your weakness cost us both. I can't even look at you right now. All the stuff you said to me was a lie. We're not in control, they are. They pretend we have power, but when it counts they lead. You filled my head with false hope and right now I'm not sure if I ever want to see you again." Nina closed the door in his face.

"It wasn't a lie." Oz whispered, but he wasn't sure

As Oz headed back toward his own room, the one Xander had offered to share with him, he heard tormented screaming from another part of the abbey. He froze. Whatever was making that sound was inhuman. He shivered, hoping it would be dead soon.

…

Willow held a piece of paper in her hand, it was from Lilah's file. She looked at the creature that had killed Fred. She hadn't chosen it, but it had happened. Now she was going to be punished. Forever. "Do you have any uh… last requests?"

"I request to be allowed to torture the vampire to death." Illyria said calmly

"Any that don't involve us letting you out of the cage?" Willow tried

Illyria stood immobile, arms crossed over her chest. "No,"

"Last words maybe?" Willow didn't know what she was doing, stalling?

"The price to the action you are about to take will be high." Illyria said calmly "You will tremble and weep. Nothing is free stupid mortal, much less lives that were never meant to be."

"Right," Willow said "Is that it?"

"Yes," Illyria said, but she wasn't looking at Willow, she was staring at Wesley

"Okay, so this is basically an exorcism. We all know they can be messy, so let's all just be careful." Willow cleared her throat. She began to read the words from the paper and for a few minutes nothing happened. Illyria stood in her cage, Willow chanted, Lorne, Angel, Gunn, Spike, and Wesley looked on. Willow never faltered or looked concerned though.

"Why isn't anything happening?" Spike asked and was immediately hushed.

Willow kept chanting and after a few minutes Illyria collapsed. One instant she was standing calm, the next she was writhing on the floor. She began to scream. The screams went from almost human to unearthly wailing. No natural creature should be able to make that sound.

"Jesus," Spike muttered

Willow's eyes turned black and Angel was glad Buffy wasn't here to see what he had asked her best friend to do. "Illyria who was called forth from the deeper well," Willow's voice was thunder. "I send you from this body and from this plane. I send you away." The screeching continued and blue seemed to bleed off of her. It made a shape like a spider, not because it looked like a spider, because it didn't look like anything. It looked wrong. "You who were not meant for this world in this time are banned from all worlds." There was a sound like a million window panes crashing and a million thunder claps clapping. They all put their hands over their ears and shouted in pain. "Illyria who was called forth, we send you back."

With a final scream the wrong shapes and the blue blood melted away, as though it had never been there. Indeed the only indication that anything had happened at all was their ringing ears and a gasping Fred sitting in the cage.

…

Conner sat on his bed. Kate was sitting in a chair nearby, watching him. Neither of them pretended Angel hadn't asked her to and Conner appreciated that. Not a lot, but he was glad she didn't try to show him any fake concern. She was here to stop him from trying to stop Willow.

"What do you think?" Conner asked her when the screaming started

"About the noise?" Conner nodded. "I think it's loud."

"Do you think it's right?"

"It doesn't matter what I think." Kate said

"Illyria fought for us, she cared about us. Now listen to what Angel's doing to her."

"I trust Angel." Kate said

"Because you fucked him?" Conner asked

Kate was shocked by his crass language and that he knew about her tryst with Angel. "I don't have to defend my actions to you." She said "My decision to trust Angel doesn't have anything to do with my sex life. Angel and I both needed something from each other."

"And did you get it?" Conner mocked

"Like I said, I don't have to defend my actions to you." Kate said truthfully

"You could have turned him evil." Conner accused "Not that there's a big difference at this point." He pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them.

Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty good, but giving a man who just witnessed a slaughter perfect happiness? I'm not that good, nobody should be that good."

They were silent as they listened to the remaining screams.

…

Faith and Buffy avoided looking at each other as the screams filled the abbey. The door opened and Kennedy came in. "I didn't want to be alone." She explained "Not with… that."

"Come in." Buffy offered "We understand." Kennedy entered their room.

"Sure is loud." Faith said "I wonder if it really hurts all that much. Maybe she's just being extra-dramatic to make them feel bad." Faith knew this wasn't the case.

Kennedy verbalized their feelings. "She isn't screaming in pain. That scream is pain."

Buffy stood up and hugged Kennedy. Faith stared at them, pain tunneling in her ear.

…

Anne stared at Teresa in horror. The telepathic demon was giggling. "I can hear you."

"That screaming is terrible." Anne protested "What's so funny?"

"A million millions stretches forever and I hear them. I can hear you." The clearly insane hybrid laughed and laughed, eventually falling to the floor and being overtaken by the laughter.

"Please stop." Anne begged "You're scaring me."

"Forever stretches on. Oh what terrible prices we all pay."

Tears spilled from Anne's eyes. "Don't say that."

Teresa's chuckles petered out. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you." She started again.

"Please Teresa, what's causing this?" Anne knew the screaming must be responsible, but why was it having this particular effect on Teresa?

"No more sunshine, not ever again, not for them." Teresa's back went rigid and she joined Illyria in her screaming. Anne clutched her ears and tried to block them out.

…

Gunn rushed up to the cage to unlock the door. Fred screamed. She crossed her arms in front of her face. Her screaming was wordless and shrill, but still not as terrible as the otherworldly cries of Illyria. Yet Fred's screams hurt them more.

"What went wrong?" Spike asked, sensing something had

"Nothing," Willow said "I excised Illyria."

"But Fred," Angel wasn't sure how to finish. They all stared at the terrified creature that was supposed to be their dear departed friend.

"She was trapped inside Illyria." Wesley said "Her shattered soul came together all at once. The shock must be equivalent to birth." But he thought it was worse than that.

Fred lowered her arms a smidgen. "W-w-w-w-w," She was trying to say something, but kept tripping over that one sound. Her voice sped up and she sounded frightened. Gunn tried to grip her shoulders but she screamed and scooted back farther into the cage. There she fell silent.

"Fred," Angel whispered as he approached slowly "Do you remember me?" She stared at him. Gunn stepped back and let Angel get closer. He stopped at the cage door. "Do you want to come out of there?" She didn't move. "Fred?"

"Say something." Spike begged, unable to stop himself

Lorne stepped behind Angel. "Hey Fredikins, you remember me?"

She stared at him with squinting eyes, trying to make him out. "Y-y-y-y-," The same thing as before started over with the new sound.

"Fred!" Angel spoke harshly and she closed her mouth so fast they heard her teeth clatter together. "Fred," He said softly "You know us, we're your friends."

She looked at him. "I-" She closed her eyes and enunciated each word with great effort, pulling them from her diaphragm like pulling teeth. "I-know-you." She opened her eyes.

Angel grinned. "Yes, you know me. I'm Angel."

"A-A-An-gel, Angel," Fred looked at his questioningly.

"Right," He looked around at the others, smiling. "Do you want to come out of there?"

She looked at him in confusion, uncomprehending. "Angel?"

"That's me." The smile slipped from his face. Angel stood up and pointed to Lorne. "Do you remember him?" He pointed to Wesley. "Or him?"

Fred's face lit up. "Wesley!" She shouted

Wesley couldn't keep the smile off his face, especially when Fred stumbled to her feet in Illyria's strange leather get-up and started toward him. "Hey Fred,"

She stopped at the door to the cage, as though unsure if she should cross. "It's okay Fred." Angel held out his hand to her. "Come on out." She took his hand and flinched, but when nothing happened she opened her eyes and smiled at him. Angel knew in that moment that Fred was back. He looked over at Willow and didn't have to say anything because his eyes conveyed his thanks. "There you go," Angel encouraged as he helped her out.

"Hey Fred," Gunn said "You remember me?"

"Ch-Ch-Charles!" Fred shouted in excitement.

Gunn grinned. "Yeah," He put an arm around Lorne. "How about this pea-soup complexioned guy? Do you remember him?"

"L-Lorne," She said firmly "Lorne,"

"That's me." The Pylean looked ecstatic.

Fred giggled and walked across the room, right up to Wesley. "Wesley," she said "You are Wesley." She tried to touch his face, but her hand went right through him. Fred screamed.


	10. Curse

Wesley couldn't believe how close he was to her, the Wolf. She was in an office just down the hall. Why hadn't she fired him or sent him to hell? Why was she allowing him to just casually go about his work? Why did she trust him to do that work? Wesley rubbed his temples. His theory about vampires was turning out to be just that, a theory. He had no proof one way or the other on its validity and he was getting nothing done here. He headed for the exit.

"Hey Wes, lunch break?" Harmony asked as he passed by her desk

"I don't eat Harmony." Wesley reminded her "Hey," He said as a thought occurred to him. "What do you do all day anyway?"

"File," Harmony said "You'd think what with the end of the world and all there wouldn't be much of a need, but you'd be wrong. The end of the world is a bureaucratic nightmare."

"Who knew?" Wesley said

"Not me," Harmony said "So if you're not going to lunch where're you going?"

"Back to the abbey." Wesley said "I'm done for the day."

"You've only been here four hours." Harmony said "You must be super time-efficient."

"Well I never have to get a glass of water or go to the bathroom." Wesley said

"Heh," Harmony chuckled "You're funny." She leaned over her desk exposing her vast cleavage and looked toward Lilah's old office. "She's creepy huh?" Harmony whispered

"The Wolf?" Wesley didn't bother to whisper, assuming the Wolf was aware of everything that happened in this building and possibly the whole city (with the acceptation of the abbey) at all times. "She's evil, that's a little beyond creepy."

"Well I'm evil," Harmony said in an offended tone "And I'm not creepy."

"No," Wesley assured her "Definitely not. See you later Harmony."

"I know why you're leaving so early!" Harmony called after him. "It's because you brought Fred back yesterday!" Wesley pretended not to hear her, which was a bit of a stretch considering how loud Harmony was. He continued on his way.

…

"This is a disaster." Angel muttered

"You figured that out huh?" Lorne asked

Angel looked at the members of this meeting. They were all gathered to plan their next moves, but so far all they had done is list problems. The other members of their little council were Gunn, Spike, Kate, Buffy, Faith, Willow, Xander, and someone he'd never met named Kennedy. Not one of them had a solution to any of their problems. "So my son is plotting against me, Fred and Teresa are both completely crazy, we have a house full of Werewolves most of which have no control over their condition and the Wolf can control them if they leave here, and there might be a plot to bring all vampires under her control but we're not sure and if there is we can't do anything about it. Did I leave anything out?"

"Everyone's soap opera-ish personal problems?" Spike suggested

"Spike shut up." Angel said

"Okay," Buffy said "Let's just try to knock these problems out one at a time."

"Good plan," Spike said "Why didn't we-"

"Shut up Spike." Angel and Buffy said at the same time.

"Is there anyone Conner has a repertoire with he can talk to?" Kate asked "He won't let his dad or sisters anywhere near him, but maybe someone who knows a little more about his past could get him to talk? Then he could vent some of his frustration and maybe calm down."

Angel wasn't overly hopeful for volunteers. "I'll do it." Gunn said

Angel was caught by surprise. When he looked at his friend he saw the man was less than eager. "Conner and I don't exactly get on well, but we did live together for a few months."

"Okay," Angel said, remembering Fred's stories of how terrible that summer had been and how while Conner and Gunn had some good moments they mostly just fought. But it wasn't like they had any better plans. "Thank you," Gunn nodded, looking like a condemned man.

"Can you get Fred and Teresa to sing for you?" Spike asked Lorne

"Teresa sang like a bird." Lorne said "All I got was pure undiluted crazy." Angel saw the sadness in his eyes and felt sympathy for him, he knew there was something between Lorne and the psychic Cordelia had sent to him. "As for Fred, once we get past speech maybe we can move on to song. She hasn't uttered one coherent sentence as of yet."

"She knows who we are." Gunn whispered "She just…"

"I'm so glad we sacrificed an able fighter to bring back Wesley's crazy girlfriend." Kate said, she didn't know why she was so bitter, she was just exasperated.

"You've been spending too much time around Conner." Spike said

"Seconded, with an added go to-"

Angel cut Lorne off. "Okay, Willow can you do anything for either of them?"

"I'll try." Willow said "The only thing is, whatever is wrong with them might be contagious." Everyone gave Willow an odd look. "Magical interference with someone's mind is tricky, and with an insane person it's dangerous. I could get all caught up in the crazy."

"Then you can't do it." Kennedy said "We can't risk it." She was adamant. Where Willow's safety was concerned Kennedy wouldn't allow any risk.

"Kennedy's right Will," Buffy said "We can't risk you."

"So come full moon what are we supposed to do?" Xander asked "We can't let these people out to be controlled by the wolf." He looked around the table. "Right?"

"We could lock them in the basement." Kate said

"They'd get out." Spike said "All that power focused on one little door,"

"We tie them up." Lorne suggested

"They'll break free." Faith said

"How's Wes doing on researching the possible vampire control thing?" Gunn asked

"He's not back yet." Angel said

"So what do we do about you and Spike if that happens?" Kate asked

"Spell shouldn't work in here." Angel said "The senior partners don't have power here."

"Besides, if you guys start acting wonky Buff, Ken, and I can put the smack down on you." Faith's attempt at being reassuring was having the opposite effect.

Angel rubbed his face with his palms, and thought about all of their problems. He felt as though they had accomplished nothing, only ran in a circle. "This is a disaster."

…

While having the two crazy women in the same room wasn't exactly a brilliant idea it was necessary considering how short on hands they were. Angel hadn't been happy about the traitor looking after Fred and Teresa, but Gunn had convinced him it was the best course of action. Well actually Gunn had just said 'trust me' and Angel had agreed, which wasn't exactly convincing, just trust. Now Anne had one of the hardest and most thankless jobs in their little camp and she couldn't be happier about it. She wanted to be put to work, she wanted to spare someone else this grueling duty. She wanted to make amends.

"I'm sorry I got you shot." Anne told the woman she knew couldn't understand her.

Teresa giggled and tried to move her hands, but they were tied to the side of the bed, just like her feet, to prevent her from hurting herself when she thrashed around. "Cool water," Anne reached for a glass of water and a straw to give the giggling woman some water. "Not me, the little orphan and her puppy dog. He's an old dog, but he can learn new tricks." She chuckled some more and her chest rose off the mattress. "Pitter patter, little feet like rats with long teeth."

"Shhh," Anne patted Teresa's scaly hand. She looked over at the room's other occupant, who was sitting unbound and silent. She never moved or spoke, just sat there with her arms wrapped around her knees staring at them, or past them. Anne could never tell. In a way that woman was responsible for this, but Anne didn't blame her.

"We're waiting," Teresa said, still giggling

"What are we waiting for?" Anne asked without turning away from Fred, watching the frozen woman watch them, or something else.

"The magic man, want to see a magic trick?"

Anne looked at Teresa, who was still grinning like a fool. "Sure,"

"First you need to bake a cake. You start with a broken egg, and then add two unwanted fruits, like raisins and prunes, you let that sit for a while and then guess what happens."

"What?" Anne asked, finding herself drawn into the mad woman's ramblings.

"I'll tell you later, the rules are breaking." Teresa said

"So they put you in charge of the crazies huh?" Wesley asked

Anne gasped and dropped the glass of water she was still holding. It shattered on the ground and Fred shrieked. Wesley looked stricken as Anne knelt to pick up the glass. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Wesley said "I wish I could help you pick that up."

"It's okay," Anne said "Not your fault."

"I scared Fred." Wesley looked far more upset about that then the glass.

"Maybe that's good." Anne said as she looked at the woman who had returned to staring, her fright gone as well as her awareness. "Maybe it woke her up a little bit."

"Does she say anything?"

"Lorne was here." Anne replied "He got her to say a few words, but not her own. He would say his name and she would say it back, but we couldn't tell if she knew what it meant."

Wesley walked over to her. "Fred, it's me Wesley, you remember me."

Fred wouldn't look at him. "Fred," Anne said "It's Wes, say hi."

Fred just kept staring. "Do you think she's thinking about something nice?" Wes asked

Anne thought back to her catatonic state. What had she been thinking about? All she could remember was pain, and numbness. "Yes, I think so."

"You're lying, I can tell." This unnerved her, but not as much as the smile he turned to give her, it was so sad. "But thanks for trying. I keep thinking she's in Pylea or… worse."

Anne didn't know what to say to that, and not just because she had never heard of Pylea before now. She didn't know where Fred was, or if she was going to be okay. She watched Wesley watching Fred and wondered what it must be like to be so close to the one you love, unable to touch them or speak to them. Well he could speak, but Fred wouldn't hear, so did it really count? Anne stood up, uneasy. "Which do you think is worse?" she asked "Fred who doesn't seem aware of us at all, or Teresa who sees us, but can't stay connected to reality?"

"Maybe she's more connected than you think." Wesley said "Teresa," He quit staring at Fred long enough to look at the hybrid. "Tell me the rest of your story."

"The broken bits never come back together, no matter how you sew." Teresa assured him. She giggled some more. "Daddy did a bad thing and little brother fell down, down on the ground. Parts go smash and everyone is so cold. If you had just touched each other you would have been warmer. Castles in the clouds always fall to earth." Teresa closed her eyes.

"It's just a bunch of nonsense." Anne insisted

"There's a certain wisdom to nonsense." Wesley said "We can hear whatever meaning in it we want to. You said Illyria's screams did this to her?" Anne nodded "Maybe she saw something, and that's what drove her crazy. Maybe she saw Illyria's mind."

"Didn't Illyria live for a really long time?" Anne asked

"Longer than the tenfold sum of all Teresa's other memories, there's no way she would have been able to handle all of those images." Wesley looked guilty. "We didn't know."

"But if you did know," Anne said "You would have done it anyway." Years of working with the homeless had given her good perception.

"Yes, but I still feel bad about it." Wesley said "I know it doesn't make a difference, but I derive no pleasure from hurting the innocent. I just wanted to help Fred."

"These are the choices we make." Anne said "We do the best we can."

…

Buffy froze as she turned the corner and saw Spike. She forced a smile. "Spike,"

"Buffy," Spike said, the picture of cool, while internally he was shivering glob of goo

"Good to see you,"

"Yeah, you to." Spike said

"Good to know you're alive, well you know." Buffy told her undead ex

"Close enough," Spike said "Or not," He reconsidered "Look Buffy I…" He sighed

"Spike, maybe we should just focus on the apocalypse, deal with the personal stuff later."

"Yeah okay," Buffy started to walk away. "I mean no." Spike said "No, Buffy we need to talk about this. In Sunnydale you said you loved me."

Buffy returned her attention to the vampire. "You said I didn't and that it was okay."

"I was being noble!" Spike didn't like the way his first real conversation with the slayer since his death was going. He could see why she'd been avoiding him.

"Well you did a good job." Buffy said "Spike, I care about you-"

Spike snorted in derision. "You've got a funny way of showing it."

"What do you want Spike? Do you want us to be together?"

"Oh no," Spike said sarcastically "I wouldn't presume to think myself worthy of a relationship with you, I'm not dark and troubled enough like his great poofiness or the bloody immortal!" Spike's voice gradually rose to a shout and he saw Buffy was glaring at him.

"Is that why you came to Italy?"

Spike began to backtrack. "I uh… I meant- you see that-"

"You've been keeping tabs on me!" Buffy was outraged

"It was Angel." Spike immediately shifted the blame to his grandsire. "He hired a guy."

"I see," Buffy's voice was as cold as ice. "Did that guy tell you I was working undercover to find the largest vamp nest on the Italian Peninsula?"

"No- why is it in Rome? There's like a million churches there." Spike got distracted.

"Don't change the subject, you have no right to interfere in my life!" Buffy wasn't sure why she was so angry. She knew in principle why she was mad, Spike and Angel had invaded her privacy, treating her like a child. Yet she hadn't pictured this moment going down this way. From the end of the battle until now she had avoided Spike, trying to figure out what to say to him, where they stood. She still wasn't sure. They weren't together, but what the hell were they? She was glad he was alive (in a manner of speaking) but his presence threw her for a loop.

"Sorry," Spike threw his hands in the air. "Won't happen again." He started to go.

"Spike wait!" Buffy wished she had just let him go when he turned around and had a big smirk on his face. "Don't do this, don't let it be like this."

"How do you want it to be Buffy?" He actually seemed sincere when he asked this.

Buffy sighed, making a strand of hair hanging over her eyes dance. "I want it to not be awkward between us. I want us to be friends." She really did want that.

"Just friends?" Spike asked

"For now at least," Buffy said "There's too much going on right now for me to be thinking about my love life." Her eyes asked him to understand and accept this.

"Okay," Spike couldn't believe this was happening to him. "We're friends."

"Thank you William,"

"Are you going to have a similar conversation with his broodiness?" Spike asked

"I don't know where he is." Buffy said "I haven't seen him since the meeting."

…

Angel knocked on the door, feeling incredibly nervous. He had thought Nina was far away from L.A. enjoying a relaxing vacation with her niece and sister. This was apparently not the case. Where had she been all this time? How had she survived? The door opened and Angel was filled with trepidation. Nina looked tired and… older. "Nina,"

"Angel," She gave him a weak but genuine smile. "Come in,"

Angel walked in and nodded at Nina's roommate. "I had no idea you were still in L.A., how have you been holding up?" Angel looked into her eyes and saw unpleasant things.

"I thought I was okay. Then that transformation the other day happened. I had to go to that hotel where you were. I was compelled. I didn't enjoy it." Nina sat down on the bed.

Angel pulled up a chair and sat across from her. "I wish you had gone."

"I had to stay." She said even though she wasn't sure it was true

"Why?" Angel hoped the answer had nothing to do with him, he didn't want to be responsible for her weariness and pain. "Why did you have to stay?"

"It's complicated Angel." Nina said "Everything is so complicated now. For the first time in my life I knew who I was and what I was supposed to be doing. There was this guy and-" Nina cut herself off and gave Angel a bashful look. "Now I don't know anything."

"Well you're here." Angel said, not sure if that was going to be comforting. "You're safe now and I'm here for you… unless you don't want me to be."

Nina nodded. She reached for Angel's hand and they sat in silent camaraderie for a few moments. "Thank you Angel, for everything."

…

Faith wandered down another hall, about to give up on the possibility of finding the man she was looking for when she saw him, her old watcher. "Wesley,"

He stopped and waited for her to reach him. "Can I help you Faith?"

"I just wanted to ask you something." Faith couldn't believe she was really doing this.

"Go ahead,"

"What's it like?" Faith only paused for a second. "I know it's wrong to ask, especially for me, but it's driving me crazy. I just- I need to know what it's like."

Wesley frowned. "Are you planning on dying soon Faith?"

Faith gave him a cheeky grin. "My life doesn't always go according to plan."

"No," Wesley chuckled. "That's true." He thought about her question. "It wouldn't have been so bad if it were instantaneous. It was very painful. I wanted the pain to stop, but I knew if it did that would mean I was dead. I didn't want to die. Death is a frightening prospect."

"Did you see- I mean-" Faith shook her head. "I sound like a fool."

"I didn't see what comes next." Wesley said "I was held to the earth, and not allowed to cross over, nor even see what I would have crossed over to." Wesley paused, unsure if he should continue. "I'm glad, I don't think there is anything good in store for me."

Faith shook her head. "Come on Wes, you're a pure-hearted hero." Her tone teased him.

Wesley wanted to believe her, or pretend he did. "I've done terrible things."

The smile evaporated from Faith's face. "I've murdered people."

Wesley felt guilty. By condemning himself he was condemning her. He tried to find a way to escape this logic. "It's not the same. I betrayed people that trusted me, that cared about-loved me. You chose the path of redemption Faith, I didn't." Wesley thought about all of the booze, all of the violent sex, that hadn't managed to heal the void of Conner's disappearance. He thought about the darkness within himself. "You saw what you had become and tried to change."

"Angel taught me it's never too late to change." Faith said

"I'm dead Faith, that's pretty late." Over Faith's shoulder he saw someone walk past the entrance to the hall. He gestured with his eyes. The two of them headed toward the man.

…

Conner closed the door quietly behind him. Anne and Teresa were gone, Anne had taken Teresa on her daily walk to prevent muscle atrophy. Fred was alone in the room, still sitting on the bed staring at nothing. "Fred?" Conner asked "Do you remember me?"

She didn't give any indication she had heard him.

Conner walked up and waved his hand in front of her face. She blinked. "Fred, it's Conner, you used to make me bologna sandwiches." He felt like an idiot for saying that. "I don't know why I'm here, not really. I just…" Conner rubbed his eyes. "You can't even understand me can you?" Conner sat down in Anne's chair. "I could tell you anything, you wouldn't know what I was saying or be able to tell anyone." Conner let out a large breath. "I hate you a little bit." He saw that she still wasn't reacting and continued. "Illyria was my friend. I guess that isn't your problem. I guess none of this is your problem. All of this bad stuff is happening and you don't even know, you're too busy being crazy." Conner stood up and put his face close to Fred's, staring into her eyes. "I'm jealous," He said "I'd stay in there too if I were you."

Fred blinked and Conner jumped back, startled. Fred's eyes followed him. "Conner,"

Conner sat down and nodded. "Yeah, I'm Conner. You remembered." His heart was beating at an accelerated rate. Had she heard any of what he said?

"Conner," She stared at him, it was unnerving. Her brown eyes seemed to swallow him whole. "Conner," She said the word slower, like she was tasting it.

"Right, do you remember me?" Why did it matter?

"Conner," She spoke even slower this time.

"Yes," Conner was beginning to feel like he was in an asylum. He wasn't getting anywhere, she was just repeating his name. She probably didn't even know why. "You're not even there are you?" He asked "We go through all of this trouble to bring you back and you're not even there. Do you even know who you are?" She was silent. "Hello,"

"Hello,"

Conner rolled his eyes. "Yeah hi, how are you, my name's Conner." He mocked

"Conner," Not this again, "Fred,"

Conner jolted. "What?"

Fred pointed at him. "Conner," She pointed at herself. "Fred," She pointed behind him, towards the door. "Wesley," Conner spun around to see the ghost watching them.

"How long have you been there?" Conner demanded

"Long enough, please continue," Conner glared at the ghost, but when he looked at him he sensed not disapproval or surveillance, but hope and fear. Wesley wasn't watching Conner, he was watching Fred. Conner turned to look at Fred and then back at Wesley.

Fred recaptured his attention by speaking again. "Conner,"

"Yeah," He didn't expect her to actually say anything coherent.

Fred started humming and Conner was shocked by the tune. It was an Irish lullaby. He wasn't sure where he had heard it before. "Angel sang it to you when you were a baby." Wesley answered Conner's unasked question.

"Before you stole me away." Conner said

"Conner," Fred pointed at Conner. "Baby Conner,"

"I'm not a baby anymore." Conner said with a smile that snuck up on him

Fred shrieked and the two men were shocked, Conner almost fell out of his chair. "We have to find baby Conner." Fred said in terror "He got lost in a portal."

Wesley flinched. Conner couldn't quite suppress all pity for the man. "I came back Fred, I'm okay." Her eyes bugged out and she shook her head. "I'm right here." On an impulse he reached out and touched her shoulder. "I'm right here."

Fred reached out and poked Conner in the shoulder, hard. "Right here,"

"Ow, I mean yep." Conner said

Fred stood up and started to walk toward Wesley. He knew what she was going to do and backed away. "No Fred, you can't touch me."

Fred tilted her head and her face took on a look of deep sorrow. "Wesley's dead."

"I'm sorry." Wesley whispered

Fred began to hum again and the tune didn't so much pull at his heartstrings as it did rip them out bloody and warm. At that moment Anne returned with Teresa and Teresa began to sing the words that went with the tune Fred was humming. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine."

…

"Nina!" Oz ran up to his fellow werewolf as she walked down the hall. "I've been looking for you." Nina wouldn't look at him. "I need to talk to you."

"So talk," Nina kept looking ahead.

"Is there any chance you might forgive me?" He asked

Nina almost stopped for a moment, but only almost. "I don't know."

"You mean a lot to me Nina." Oz said "I care about you."

"We have a connection." Nina remembered

"Yeah," Oz replied

"I'm not sure I want to be connected to you anymore." Nina said "Please stop following me." She picked up her pace and Oz stopped, respecting her wishes. Part of her wanted to forgive him right at that moment, but the other part couldn't forget her terror when he had transformed and she had been forced to follow suit or be devoured. They had been pulled to the hotel and seen those awful things, because he had been weak. She didn't know if she could forgive him for that. She didn't know if she could forgive him for letting her down.

…

Wesley slipped through the door and Faith found herself feeling a little queasy at the sight. "What's that like?" She asked "Does it feel funny?"

"It doesn't feel like anything." Wesley said, leaving out the fact that he could no longer feel from his explanation. There was no need to further upset Faith.

"So what's with the singing?" Faith asked

"I think Fred's starting to get better." Wesley said "She spoke a coherent statement."

"That's good." Faith said

"Faith," Wesley's voice was so quiet only Faith's advanced slayer senses allowed her to hear him. "I need to ask you for a favor."

"Anything," Faith told him

"Will you look after her? Will you make sure she makes it out of this?"

"If it costs me my life." Faith swore "I'll look after her Wes, I promise."

Wesley looked into her eyes and nothing else needed to be said. The two broken souls connected in a glance. They saw each other's sins and they accepted those horrors along with the happier moments. Faith reached out to touch him and stopped a centimeter from his face, remembering just in time that her hand would go right through him. "I'm sorry." She whispered

"Me to," Wesley said "I'm sorry I let you down."

…

Wesley walked into the Wolfram & Hart office and was frustrated by Harmony's excited waving and calling out. "Hey Wes!" She grinned "Any new conspiracies today?"

Wesley thought that soon just looking at Harmony would be enough to give him a headache, like Pavlov's dogs. "No Harmony, nothing is going on."

"Well that's boring." Harmony complained "How's Fred?"

Wesley almost jumped. "Why?"

"I mean is she okay? I want to know."

Wesley glared at the vampire. It was possible this was true, it was also possible Harmony had switched sides again and was pumping him for information. "Why is that?"

"Fred was really nice to me." Harmony said "Not like you guys." Her voice wasn't accusing, it was matter-of-fact and Wesley felt a little guilty.

"She's getting better." Wesley said

"Good," Harmony said "Maybe once she's all better you'll start coming to work more often. You're like never here." Harmony said

"Well I'm not exactly devoted to the cause." Wesley reminded Harmony

"But aren't you supposed to be spying on us and figuring out the scary lady's evil plans and like researching stuff and… stuff." Harmony said "You do the book thing."

"Right," Wesley said "I'm going to go do the book thing." He headed to his office in a foul mood. If there was one thought guaranteed to put Wesley in a temper it was that Harmony might be right. He had been slacking off, had been spending too much time with Fred.

"Don't beat yourself up lover-boy." The Wolf said as Wesley came through his office door. She sat seductively on Wesley's desk. "Love makes fools of all mortals."

"Thanks for the encouragement." Wesley said "What can I do for you?"

The Wolf put her head back and let the tip of her delicate pink tongue escape through her slightly different shade of pink lips. Her golden curls bounced up and down in the light. She looked like she was in the throes of deep sexual pleasure. "What can I do for you Wes?"

Wesley wondered what it was about him that attracted evil-doers.

"Your innate darkness," The Wolf answered his thought "Do you want to feel my power dead boy? Do you want to feel alive?" She lifted her head and batted her thick eyelashes.

"Not particularly, it would be a lie."

"But you had Illyria lie for you." The Wolf adjusted her legs so that her skirt rode up and revealed her thighs. "She offered you a lie as your parting gift, which you accepted."

"I wasn't in my right mind." Illyria, she had done that for him. She had cared about him and he had killed her. But to get Fred back it was worth it.

"We all make choices." The Wolf said "It is in death that we are in our most right mind, the choices we make then reveal the true us. You wanted her to lie to you. You used her, and when you could trade up you discarded her like a cheap whore."

"That's not what happened." Wesley said "Illyria was never meant for this world."

"But you taught her to be a part of it when it met your needs. You fashioned her to suit your needs just like you did Lilah. You made her into something you could bare to look at and then used her as a toy. You are drawn to these vulnerable women with low self-esteem that you can mold to your liking. You degrade them and make them feel like they deserve it." The Wolf lay back on his desk and stretched out her smooth arms. "Face it Wesley, you hate women."

"You're trying to get to me, it won't work." But it already was working and Wesley knew that she could see into his mind and discern this. He remembered the time Lilah had dressed up like Fred to tease him and he had been… aroused to say the least. Wesley wanted to deny that the Wolf's description fit Lilah, but the truth was she did have low self-esteem. She put on a hard exterior each day for work and went toe to toe with the big boys, but when she came home she was sad and alone. All of the horrible things they did together, Wesley wondered if she truly liked them or just felt like she deserved them. "I never meant to hurt her."

"We always hurt the ones we love. Angel can attest to that. Speaking of Angel," The Wolf opened her hand and a sliver of paper lay in her palm where one had not been before. "He's in a spot of trouble." The paper burst into flames. "That job you were supposed to be doing, the one related to your oh so brilliant deduction, how's that coming along?"

Wesley stared at the flame in her palm. "What did you do?"

"Why don't you go find out dead boy?" The demon asked "Unless you changed your mind about feeling alive?" She snickered as Wesley ran from the office and stopped right in front of Harmony's desk. The vampire was gone. She could see in his mind, see the wheels turning in that beautiful machine. He started running again, but it didn't matter how fast he ran, he wouldn't be able to do anything when he got to the abbey. It was too late.

…

Angel knocked on Conner's door, expecting that if he got a response at all it would be a negative one. The door opened and Conner glared at him. "So you've come to threaten me yourself instead of sending one of your goons this time?" Conner asked

"What are you- Gunn threatened you?" That wasn't helpful.

"Not exactly, but he wanted to have a serious talk, which is pretty much worse."

Angel sighed. "I just came to thank you for talking to Fred. You helped her."

"It was sort of an accident." But Conner looked a little proud of himself.

"Regardless, thank you. It means a lot to me that you care about her." Angel paused, mulling over his next words. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. That's the last thing in the world I wanted to do. I know you were friends with Illyria, but what she did to Fred- It doesn't matter now. The point it I want us to be good. I love you Conner."

Conner stood in the doorway, unsure of what to say, do, or even think. So many parts of him wanted to hate his father. So many wanted to love him. "I have two dads and no mom." This realization came from nowhere but Conner could think of nothing else to say. "I don't have any maternal figures in my life anymore." He thought about the mom he had known. "But that's not true, I'll always remember her. She'll always be there. My other mother, I only know what she looks like and the unflattering things Holtz said about her." Conner looked at Angel.

"You want me to tell you about your mother?" Angel asked

"Could- look out!" Angel ducked and a ball of fire grazed the side of his face. He turned around and sighed. He thought it would take longer for Harmony to betray them.

Something was happening. Angel felt as though he were being paralyzed, he couldn't move a muscle, but yet they were moving. He felt himself thrown to the back of his mind and locked in a room. He could see, he could see everything, but it was like TV, he was powerless to control anything. Conner flew across the room. Angel shouted, but there was no sound.


	11. A House Divided

Angel woke up with a splitting headache. His vision was fuzzy, but after a few blinks he could see his surroundings. Willow and Buffy were at the left side of the bed. Wesley, Kate, and Gunn were at the right. Spike, Faith, and Nina stood on the other side of the room. "What happened?" Angel asked, touching his pounding head.

"The Wolf tried to enact the curse." Wesley explained "Willow was able to break the curse's hold on you and Harmony because the Wolf can't use her magic to bolster the curse while we're in here. She'll keep looking for a way to implement the curse in a way that will affect you, but we've got bigger problems on our hands."

"What do you mean?" Angel asked "What happened? Is Conner okay?" If he'd hurt Conner under the Wolf's influence Angel would never forgive himself.

"Conner's fine." Willow assured Angel "It's just that the Wolf had a kind a kind of back-up plan for her curse not working. There's a spell over the abbey and it's not dark magic, and the power sustaining it isn't her own. So we're having trouble breaking it."

"What is it?" How bad could the spell be if it didn't involve dark magic?

"Truth-dammit!-spell," Spike said from the other side of the room. "Not even twenty bloody minutes, this spell is bollocks! I can't even be silent for twenty minutes!"

"We're all disappointed about that, believe me Spike." Kate said

"I bloody well have to now don't I?" Spike asked

"A truth spell?" Angel asked "You mean nobody can lie?"

"Or stay silent for very long." Buffy said

Angel thought about the people he knew who were staying in this abbey. He thought about their dark secrets, their sordid histories. He realized this might just be the most effective method the Wolf could use to split them up. She was going to let them tear themselves apart instead of expending her own energies. Angel sat up, increasing the pain in his head. "Listen guys, I'm sure things will be said that will offend people, upset them. We just need to remember why we are here. We're all allies, so try not to take anything too personally."

"Don't worry Angel," Willow said "We've dealt with secret-revealing spells before, musical ones in fact. We can totally handle this." She gave the vamp a reassuring smile.

Angel felt relief. In that moment they all heard a blood-curling scream from another part of the abbey. "Looks like we're not the ones who need the speech." Faith said

…

Anne screamed as Teresa used her claws to slash four long furrows in Conner's face. "In the c-cold and th-the dark!" Her teeth chattered as though she were in a walk-in freezer. "Dirty little boy does bad things!" She poked his neck. "Zz-zz," She made electricity sound effects.

Conner grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands from two tiny holes in his neck where her claws had broken his skin. He was as gentle as possible, remembering how he was partially responsible for her getting shot, he felt they were even now. He found himself unable to withhold his thoughts, they just came tumbling out. "He murdered people for hundreds of years!"

"Daddy loved you wicked ungrateful boy. Zz-zz," Conner kept a tight grip on Teresa.

Anne was relieved when Angel burst into the room. "Conner, are you all right?" He shouted, horror overcame him when he saw his son's bloody face. "Did she do that to you?"

"I was adjusting her restraints and she broke free." Anne said "I'm sorry, please don't be angry with me. I know I'm incompetent, but it was an accident." Where had that come from?

Teresa broke free by allowing herself to fall to the floor, the full weight of her body yanking her wrists from Conner's hands. She scrambled to her feet in front of Angel. "You killed me handsome man, brought me to the house of slaughter."

Angel grasped Teresa's shoulders and moved her out of his line of sight. He looked at Fred, still sitting on the bed, unaware of the events that transpired around her. "Fred?"

Teresa stabbed Angel in the gut with her claws. "This wound is mortal."

"Aren't they all?" Wesley spoke up from the hall

Angel grabbed Teresa's hand and removed her red-stained claws from his gut. "Could someone please take care of the insane person with weapons for fingers?" Buffy and Faith grabbed Teresa and forced her back into bed, retying her restraints.

"It's not Fred." Wesley said "When Illyria was screaming during the spell we cast somehow her thoughts and memories were absorbed by Teresa. It drove her insane."

Angel touched the bloody hole in his side. "I see that." He approached his son. "Are you okay?" Angel felt every one of his son's wounds tenfold.

"Not really," Conner said "I see you're not evil again anymore."

"Right, you're mad at me again." Angel hadn't meant to say that. "You should make a chart, so I can plan my day around it." This truth spell thing was going to suck.

"Go to hell." Conner started to go.

"Please Conner wait, that wasn't me, it was the truth spell, there's one on the abbey."

Conner stopped, an odd expression taking over his face. "So I could ask you anything and you would have to tell the truth?" A wicked grin appeared.

"It works both ways, we'll both say things we don't want to." Angel warned

"I've got nothing to hide." Conner said

"We all have something to hide." Faith said "You'll say something private, that you'll never be able to remove from everyone's memories." She tried to placate the situation.

"Like you removed me from everyone's memories?" Conner asked his father "You wanted to pretend I never existed! You didn't want to have to face your mistakes!"

"I faced them every day and night! I dreamed about all the ways I could have prevented you from being taken from me! I never forgave myself for allowing you to be hurt!"

"But you forgave Wesley!" Conner accused

"And I forgave you." Angel said "I spent months at the bottom of the ocean starving to death without being able to die! I forgave you for that!" Angel shouted

"Gee thanks Dad!" Conner screamed sarcastically "That must have been awful! Forgive my lack of sympathy, I spent eighteen years in hell! I don't forgive you!"

"That wasn't your dad's fault." Wesley said "It was mine."

"Shut up Wesley." Conner said "I don't care about you."

"Do you want to chill out maybe?" Faith asked "This accomplishes nothing."

"Shut your mouth killer." Buffy said and then immediately clapped her hands over her mouth. "I have no idea- Faith that was the spell."

"It's cool B." Faith said evenly "The spell is getting to all of us."

"What a fucking double-standard." Conner said "Forgiveness for the bloodsucking vampire, forgiveness for the murderous slayer, what about me?"

"What about you, you big cry baby?" Gunn asked "Wah, wah, wah, my life is so hard."

Conner glared icily at the man "I don't give a damn what you think! I don't give a damn what any of you think! I don't care about you! I don't think you're heroes! I hate all of you!"

"How's that working out for you?" Kate asked "Does it feel nice?"

"Shut up whore!" Conner shouted

"Conner that's enough!" Angel insisted "I know the spell-"

"Screw you and your spell! I'm out of here!" Conner headed for the door.

"Conner where are you going?" Angel asked

"Away from you!"

"You can't go outside, it's too dangerous! The Wolf has power out there!" Conner didn't stop. Angel ran after him. "Conner please wait!"

Those who remained in the hall and room were stunned. "What a brat." Willow said

"Seriously," Buffy said "Can somebody say daddy issues?" She snorted with laughter.

"We'd know about that right B?" Faith said humorously and unintentionally "Between your fixation on your watcher and my demented relationship with the mayor we've got daddy issues covered. I used to wonder what you guys would do after training." The smile slipped from Faith's face when she realized what she said. "I did not mean to say that."

"Relax Faith." Buffy said "Do you think anything a slut like you says could get to me?"

"Buffy!" Willow was aghast.

"That was the spell." Buffy said, horrified "Faith I'm really sorry."

"No problem." Faith said "It's not your fault that you're just so much less desirable than me. I'm sure if you could get a guy that stick wouldn't be rammed so far up your ass."

"Enough!" Willow shouted. "Buffy move into my room and tell Kennedy I'm bunking with Faith. Faith head back to your room and you two stay away from each other."

"Fine by me." Buffy said and then seemed to snap out of a trance "Willow's right, just give me a few minutes to get my stuff from the room before you follow me."

"Right," Faith said "We should avoid each other until the spell is broken."

Buffy left and Willow let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, I'm going to work on a counter spell. Anne do you need help looking after Teresa?"

"I'll help her." Gunn said

"Right," Willow said "Now-"

"You had sex with Angel-Bloody hell!" Spike slammed his hand against his forehead.

"Yes, I had sex with Angel." Kate confessed "It's not a secret. I had hot, intense- I'm going to go be somewhere else." She walked away.

"Me to," Spike walked off in the opposite direction.

"I think I can head back to my room now." Faith left.

Willow found herself staring at a blond werewolf. "Are you okay? Nina, right?"

"I'm in love with your ex-boyfriend." She spoke listlessly and then sighed. "I guess none of us are going to have any secrets pretty soon huh?"

Willow's head was spinning. "I guess, you and Oz…"

"We're not speaking, well I'm not speaking to him. Anyway I'm in love with him and won't admit to myself I need him. If I need him he'll let me down again." Nina sighed again and trudged down the hall toward her room, looking beaten.

"I'm going to work on that spell." Willow said "Wes do you want to help?"

"I'd be delighted." Wesley said in the most uninfected voice imaginable.

Gunn watched the witch and the ghost leave and then looked at his formerly dead ex-girlfriend. Her blank stare indicated no comprehension. He looked at the crazy hybrid struggling against tight restraints. Finally he looked at his old friend who he had always admired. He looked at the woman who had devoted her life to helping kids nobody else cared about or even thought were worth noticing. He looked at the woman who had betrayed them. She was good, but she was corrupted. Gunn remembered Angel telling him he was a good man, which was why he would always feel guilty about Fred. He had already known he would never be able to forgive himself though, because he had never forgiven himself for Alonna either. He remembered telling Anne to forgive herself, she never would. He watched her. "I want you."

Anne turned away from the struggling demon. "I want you to."

"Later, do you want to make passionate love?"

"It's a date."

Well, this spell wasn't all bad.

…

Xander and Oz stared in horror at the chaos the abbey had dissolved into. "A little help over here!" They heard the demon named Lorne cry as he tried to separate two brawling young women. Xander rushed over and picked up one of the women, removing her from the fight.

"I'll kill you bitch!" The woman Lorne and Oz were holding back screamed

"Not before I kill you whore!" The woman clawing at Xander's arms responded

"Okay," Xander said "What are you guys even fighting about?"

"This bitch called me a slut!" Lorne and Oz's struggler said

"This femi-nazi probably slept with every guy here!" Xander's girl said

"You're just jealous that your repressed ass can't get any!"

"Because sluts like you walk around letting the guys look for free!"

"Is this argument about clothes?" Oz asked "That seems extreme."

"The truth spell is removing everyone's inhibitions." Lorne said "They say whatever they think and when it's negative the person they spoke to can't resist a hateful comeback and it dissolves into this." The woman he was holding back punched him in the face. "Ow!"

Xander dropped his girl when she kicked him in the nuts and the two women went at each other again. Two men rolled into the hall punching the snot out of each other. "I'll kill you asshole!" One said "The jaguars are going all the way this year!"

Lorne threw his hands in the air. "I give up." He started to walk away but stopped when he saw Angel dragging his bloody son down the hall. He stepped over the bodies of the violent abbey residents, apparently unaware that they were anything other than inanimate objects

"I hate you!" Conner said

"Yeah what else is new?" Angel asked

"I wish I'd never been born! I wish you'd never been born! I wish-"

"Conner!" Angel dropped the boy on the ground and grabbed the front of his shirt. He slammed the boy against the wall. "I love you son, but do me a favor and shut the hell up."

Lorne stared at the duo as Angel continued to drag his son away, going past them without comment. "Right then," Lorne faced Xander and Oz who had started their own shouting match.

"Girlfriend thief!" Oz shouted "You have no respect for the sanctity of a relationship!"

"You were such a terrible boyfriend you turned her into a lesbian!"

"Your ex-girlfriend moved to L.A. to get away from you!"

"Monster!"

"Loser!"

"You're a killer!"

"You're a useless mess Buffy keeps around to look at when she has low self-esteem. She sees you and thinks 'well at least I'm not one-eye Xander Harris, that guy is so lame' and then feels better about herself! How's your depth perception loser?" Xander punched Oz.

"Well you two look like you have some stuff to work through." Lorne said as he backed away down the hall "I'll just leave you to it."

Lorne needed to find Willow. He threw open a door and saw Gunn and Anne on the ground making the beast with two backs. He slammed the door shut and continued on his way where he saw Teresa wandering the hall giggling. "It's all so beautiful." She said "Honesty!"

Lorne grabbed her arm and led her back to the crazy-room. "I love you sweetheart, but we need to stow you somewhere until we find a cure for this nonsense." Lorne realized he wasn't immune either and had just confessed his feelings to their nutty psychic.

Lorne opened the door and Fred was lying on her bed curled in a ball. "Fred," Lorne said without much hope she would respond "Are you there Fredikins?"

Fred sat up, good sign. "Lorne," She said

"Hey you remembered!" Lorne couldn't hide his excitement.

"I know you." She smiled

"A coherent sentence, well I'll be damned. You really are getting better."

Fred grinned. "I'm Fred. Relative motion allows for two objects to move apart at faster than the speed of light. Plank length is the smallest possible unit."

Lorne was ecstatic. "I don't know what any of that means, but I've got a feeling you do."

"Three point one four one five nine two six five…" Fred stopped "Lorne,"

"Yeah sweetie, that's me." Lorne said "You remember me."

"Sing a song." She said

Lorne wanted to. He knew the spell was getting to him. He knew he needed to go find Willow, but all he wanted to do was sit here and talk to Fred. "What song?"

Fred frowned. "I don't remember." She looked at Lorne's cherry red eyes. "I don't know any of the songs or the faces. They're all pieces in here. Where's the whole?"

Lorne gripped her shoulders and looked into her shifting brown eyes. She looked like a scared bunny rabbit. "I'm going to go find it. You stay here and look after Teresa. I need you to do this job for me, it's very important. Do you understand?"

Fred shook her head no. "Well that's okay." Lorne patted her shoulder. "We'll find a way to fix you right up soon." He looked at Teresa. "Stay here."

"Who escapes from paradise?" Teresa asked "Who is expelled from Heaven?"

"Good girl," Lorne said, locking the door as he left

As he walked down the corridor he heard her call after him. "We don't get to pick!"

Lorne saw the slayer, he thought her name was Kennedy, fighting with Spike. "You're an evil beast!" She screamed "You don't deserve to be called a hero!"

"You're a spoiled brat! You're only in the inner circle because you're screwing one of the power trio! You know it and everyone else does to!"

"I know! But you're still a bad man!"

"I know!" Spike sat down hard on the ground, his back to the wall. "I know."

Kennedy sat down next to him. "I don't belong here any more than you do."

Lorne walked past them, perturbed. "He could never love me." He saw Kate ahead and heard her conversation with Nina. "Not that I could love him."

"It sucks to know I could never make him perfectly happy. He knew that, that's why he allowed himself to be with me." Nina said

Lorne opened the door to another room and was relieved to find Willow. He was less relieved to find Willow in a screaming match with Wesley.

"Chauvinist Pig!"

"Arrogant bitch!"

"Hateful traitor!"

"Selfish child!"

"Bumbling fool!"

"Thoughtless bore!"

"I'm somebody now! Who are you?!" Willow screamed in fury

"I'm a fading dead man! Everybody's probably better off without me anyway!"

"I'm too close to the dark powers! In a moment of weakness I could destroy everyone I love!" Willow began to cry. "I'm not worthy."

Wesley put his head in his hands. "I'm a wicked person. It would have been better for me to never have been born. I only made things worse. I destroyed the lives of the ones I love."

Willow began to weep. "Wesley,"

"Yes Willow," The crying ghost asked

"I think it's interesting that under the influence of the spell people initially attack each other and then turn their anger inward. It seems that we hate ourselves the most."

"It is a fascinating insight into the human condition that we might explore at length once we've cured our friends of the desire to rip into each other and themselves." Wesley said

"I think the spell you remembered might be useful if we could find a detailed enough reference to recreate it. I don't think these books will do it though." Willow was still crying, as was Wesley. Because of this the whole scene seemed surreal to Lorne.

"The books at Wolfram & Hart might be more useful."

Willow wiped her nose on her sleeve and rubbed her eyes, trying to stop the tears. "If you go in there looking for a way to stop the spell won't the Wolf figure out what you're doing and try to stop you? She might sever your connection to this plane of existence." Willow pulled her fingers down her face, trying to dispel the tears. "It's too big a risk."

"We can't just stay like this." Wesley said "We'll all lose our minds."

"If I try to recreate the spell just off of what you remember it could be disastrous. On the other hand, it might work. What do you think, can we do it with our combined knowledge?"

"I don't know." Wesley said "You are a very accomplished witch."

Willow blew her nose in her sleeve. "I think we have to try, oh and thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's get started before we start laying into each other again."

Lorne spoke up from the doorway. "Can I help?"

"Can you go check on Buffy?" Willow asked "Make sure she didn't go find Faith and they aren't- you know… killing each other?"

Lorne internally berated himself for opening his mouth. "Sure,"

…

"Traitor!" Buffy threw a lamp at her fellow slayer.

"If you weren't such a holier than thou stick in the mud maybe I wouldn't have betrayed you! You're such a paragon of virtue, how is anyone supposed to compare?!" Faith screamed

"I'm not perfect!" Buffy insisted "But I don't help demons ascend and eat an entire graduating class of teenagers! That's evil!" Buffy picked up a shard of porcelain and threw it.

"You screwed a man over to the dark side and he tried to suck the world into hell!"

"I fixed that!" Buffy hollered "You tried to take over my body and let the watcher's council kill me! Then you went to L.A. and cried to Angel about big bad Buffy!"

"That's not what happened!" Faith defended herself "You don't know me! I paid for my sins! I'm trying to make amends! You have no idea what it's like to be constantly seeking redemption for a crime that will never disappear! No matter how much good I do I'll always be a murderer! I don't have an excuse, I had a soul! I just-" Faith dropped to her knees. "Didn't use it," She looked up at Buffy with a tear stained face. "Oh God Buffy, I'll never be clean."

Buffy sat next to Faith and put her arms around her. "We're both dirty."

"You were in paradise." Faith said "You were good enough for heaven."

"A lot has happened since then." Buffy said "Besides, sins can be forgiven."

Faith rubbed her hands together. "The blood never comes off."

Buffy took Faith's hands and kissed each one. "It's okay." Buffy brought Faith's hands to her face. "It's okay, you're a good person. You redeemed yourself."

"You forgive me?" Faith asked tearfully

"I forgive you."

They heard footsteps and looked up. Harmony was standing in the doorway. She stomped her feet. "Nobody cares about me! Nobody cares about my problems! Oh don't worry about Harmony, she's just a _vampire_. Well vampires are people too you know, well not really. But I have feelings that nobody cares about. Why does nobody care about me?" Harmony sighed, utterly dejected and forlorn. "Do you guys care?"

Buffy and Faith shared a look. "No," Buffy said

"Not really," Faith agreed

"Not even a little bit?" Harmony asked

"Maybe," Buffy said "No, actually not." This truth spell was very effective. "I thought maybe for a second, but no… I just don't. Maybe because you were such a bitch in high school."

"That was like five years ago!" Harmony said "I'm a different person now."

"You're a vampire." Faith said

"It always comes back to that." Harmony said "Well you know what, I like being a vampire. I enjoy vampirism. I didn't choose this lifestyle, but I've chosen to embrace it. If you guys can't accept me for who I am I don't need you as friends!" Harmony stormed off.

Faith and Buffy exchanged a look as Lorne came running up. "Good, you're not killing each other." He said as he tried to catch his breath "Keep not doing that."

…

"I wish I could remember being a baby." Conner said as he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling from his bed. "I wish I could remember how much you all loved me."

"We still love you Conner." Angel said "Even if some of us are a little frustrated with you, we all still love you." Angel sat in a chair watching his son.

"Somehow I doubt Gunn and Wesley have warm fuzzy feelings for me right now."

"Love isn't about never being angry with somebody," Angel said "It's about being angry and loving them anyway. It's about letting go of that anger when the time comes."

"That's why you forgave Wesley for what he did to me?" Conner asked

"Partly," Angel said "Part of it was that, part of it was guilt, part of it was me being tired of being angry, and part of it was me admitting to myself that Wesley only did what he did because he loved you, loves both of us." Angel didn't want to say the next part, he cursed the truth spell with every fiber of his being. "But the largest part was knowing he might have been right, maybe I was a danger to you. Maybe Wolfram & Hart's plan would have worked. Maybe Wesley really did save your life." Angel watched Conner sit up slowly.

"By sending me to hell?" Conner asked

"That was Holtz's fault." Angel pointed out

"Yeah, a lot of stuff is huh?"

"Him and Sahjhan," Angel said "I really hate that guy."

"Yeah," Conner said "I'm glad I killed him."

"Me to," Angel said "Our lives would be so great if it weren't for that guy. You'd be learning to talk. So okay not that great," Angel smiled as Conner laughed at his joke.

"Is this how we cope with grief?" Conner asked "We learn to joke about it. We don't forget, we just let it become a part of our lives, something we accept?"

"Pretty much," Angel said "Life goes on, it always will."

"Unless the Wolf ends the world." Conner pointed out

"Well we're not going to let that happen." Angel said "Are we?"

Conner shook his head. "No way dad,"

Angel couldn't contain his joy at hearing his son say those words, and not just because of the spell. He stood up and so did Conner. They embraced each other. "I love you Conner."

"I love you too dad." At that moment Angel was glad for the spell.

…

Harmony sat next to Xander, who was sporting a bloody broken nose. "Life sucks."

"It so does." Xander agreed

"I mean what is it about life that makes it suck so much?"

Xander passed Harmony the flask of bourbon he was drinking from. "You never get what you want. It's just a random string of events we have no control over. No matter what I do I'll never get everything I want. I can try really hard, but it's not gonna happen."

"So what do we do?" Harmony asked as she passed the flask back.

"Keep trying." Xander said

"What's the point?" Harmony asked

"That is the point." Xander finished off the flask.

"That's stupid." Harmony insisted

"Well I'm stupid."

"That's true you are." Harmony agreed "I always thought so, even in high school."

"And I thought you were a vapid bubble-brain." Xander said

"I've changed, but everybody thinks I'm still the same. No one will give me a chance to be anybody but what I was. It's like you have to do something really bad to get a chance at redemption around here. If you only do kind-of bad stuff nobody cares about you."

"That's really deep Harmony." Xander was surprised

"Yeah," Harmony said "Wanna go do nasty stuff to each other?"

Xander considered this. "Nah, I'm trying to stay away from demon women for a while."

"That's speciesism." Harmony said

"Sorry,"

"It's all right, it's nice to just sit here and talk to someone."

…

Willow looked around the room. "Did it work?"

"I'm a two foot tall pink lizard." Wesley said "Yeah, it worked."

"Unless there's something you want to tell me." Willow teased

Wesley smiled at her. "We should go check on everybody. Just because the spell is no longer active doesn't mean they might not still be suffering from the effects."

"Right," Willow said "Looks like we can put a check-mark in the good guy column."

"I don't think so." Wesley said "I think that spell did exactly what it was supposed to."

Willow headed for the hall and Wesley followed her. When they stepped outside and saw the people weeping on the floor Willow asked "What's that?"

"Distract us," Wesley said as they walked past Spike and Kennedy.

…

Drusilla looked at the abbey and chuckled. "Little girl's come home daddy, home to say hello, going to meet my brother. Going to see my lover."

She looked at the hundreds of vampires behind her that the pretty blond woman had ordered to follow her every command. They would obey, because the pretty blond woman had a hold, she could use it on her to, but didn't want to. She wanted the real Drusilla. Dru was glad, glad for the chance to be reunited with her family. "Then I make their heads go pop."

Drusilla enjoyed contemplating this image. "Burn it to the ground." She ordered the vampires behind her. They took off running, many of them carrying torches. One tripped and fell on his torch, bursting into flames. He was dust in moments. Drusilla clucked her tongue. "Bad boy makes himself all dusty, mummy's not here to sweep it up. Burn, burn, burn,"

Drusilla looked up at the special sky, there was no moon or sun. It was daytime, but the lights were out. "Such a nice day, surely daddy will come out and play." She looked at her pets running with fire. Inside the building there were people with warm blood for her to drink. Inside there was a special boy who would make a very special vampire, her brother. "Sunk his teeth into me he did, your daddy. He broke up our little family, but we'll be together again, without grandmother sadly. Me, you, daddy, and my lover. We can turn the slayers into lovers for you and daddy. Oh what a happy family we will be."

Drusilla began to walk slowly toward the holy place her family resided in. She would win it from them, take away the goodness inside. She would make the place one of wickedness. Once the walls were ash they would have nothing to hide behind. The innocents would bleed. The soldiers would fall. They would all be together again. They would all be happy, perfectly happy.

…

Deep in a hell dimension a black woman with orange eyes wearing an orange dress was lying on yellow grass. The sky was perfect blue, there wasn't a cloud in the sky because there was no water down here. The Ram hated water. The yellow sun beat directly into her undamageable eyes. Her tongue and lips were lime green, a slightly lighter shade than the green of her blood. Her kinky short hair made a crown around her head on the ground. The Ram spoke to her sister, knowing she could hear, could feel their connection. "Yes I feel them." She smiled as she felt the vampires running toward their enemies. "You're doing so well sister dear."


	12. Hopeless

Teresa knew it was a vision, but the visions were real, now more than ever. When reality was so hard to grasp, when words were so hard to say the visions were all she could be sure was real. Of course that wasn't exactly a good thing right now. The beautiful vampire with the long dark hair was drinking from Conner. Another vampire was dragging Fred out of the crazy room where Teresa was lying dead on the bed no one had been able to untie her from, a wooden stake in her chest for a touch of irony. Anne was dead on the floor, two holes in her neck and blood on her lips. "Look boss, this one's not afraid." Fred stood there, uncomprehending. The dark haired vampire drew closer as behind her Angel and Spike were dragged into the room.

"Dru! Please Dru let Fred go! I'll be a good boy!" Spike begged

"Pretty little girl, want to be my little girl? Want to join my family?"

…

"I can't get her to calm down no matter what I do!" Anne shouted "She's been like this since before Willow and Wesley broke the spell!" Anne tried to hold Teresa down.

Teresa was thrashing about, screaming. "Don't give her any more dolls to play with! She won't be a good mum! Teddy bear will do wicked nasty things! Wood in my heart! He's not yours anymore! The storm died long ago! Can't resurrect the window! Stop! Broken china cuts up the world!" Teresa wept as her wrists began to bleed where her fabric bonds were cutting into her wrists from the thrashing about. "Stop it wicked girl!"

Angel and Lorne watched helplessly as Gunn helped Anne hold Teresa down. "What do we do?" Angel asked "We can't let her go on like this, she's in pain."

"What can we do?" Lorne sounded desperate. "Do we have any options?"

"So this started a couple of hours ago?" Angel asked

"Approximately," Anne said "She was like this when we… got back. She was loose of her restraints and lying on the floor screaming." Anne shook her head. "She hasn't stopped yet."

Angel looked back at Fred, still lying on her bed. "We should move Fred to a different room." Angel saw her move at the sound of her name, but it was probably a coincidence.

"All of the rooms are full." Gunn said

"Maybe she can stay with Buffy and Faith." Angel suggested "Are they both okay?"

"Yeah," Lorne said "They hugged it out, they're good."

"I'll take Fred over there. Let me know if the situation changes." Teresa continued to shout nonsense throughout their conversation. Angel walked over to Fred. "Fred," He held out his hand. "I need you to come with me." Fred took his hand and stood up. She followed him.

"Please sister golden hair! Peace for sister golden hair! You have to remember!"

Angel ushered Fred down the hall where the wreckage from the spell still remained. Most of the abbey's occupants weren't screaming and fighting anymore, but most weren't exactly over the experience either. A few people had locked themselves in their rooms and refused to come out. This caused some roommates no end of frustration. Angel knocked on Buffy's door. The blond slayer answered, looking tired. "Angel," Faith walked over upon hearing that name.

"Hey guys," Angel said "I brought you a new roommate. Fred, you know Faith, this is Buffy. Buffy, Faith, this is my friend Fred, she needs a new room."

Fred waved. "Buffy, Faith," She mimicked Angel though he was unsure if she knew why.

Buffy glared at Angel. "What happened to her room?"

"It got kind of dangerous what with the screaming and the thrashing about." Angel said

"We'll take care of her." Faith promised "Come in Fred." She beckoned the deranged physicist into the room. Buffy was confused. She had figured Faith would pitch a fit, or at least more of a fit that Buffy. Now she looked insensitive. "Don't worry Angel, we'll keep a close watch on her at all times. Won't we Buffy?" Faith looked at her fellow slayer.

"We sure will." Buffy agreed. Was Faith trying to make her look bad?

"Thanks guys, I appreciate it." Angel started on his way.

"Angel wait!" Buffy followed him. They fell into step together. "We haven't really had a chance to talk about anything except for business, not since the hotel."

"Sorry," Angel said "I've been busy with Conner and fighting ultimate evil. I know I should have taken the time to come see you before now. I'm sorry." Angel didn't exactly know where he was going, so he headed toward the room he had come from.

"I know things are crazy, I just want to know we're good." Buffy had showed up to save the world as well as her ex-boyfriends, and while she wasn't sure exactly what she had been expecting to find this wasn't it. All of their fears about Angel joining the dark side had turned out to be unwarranted, he had actually sacrificed a great deal to fight the forces of evil. While Buffy was ecstatic about this she was also feeling a little awkward. Faith had shown more confidence in Angel than Buffy had. Which begged another question. "So what's with you and Faith?"

"What?" Angel wasn't sure what line of thinking had brought Buffy from 'I just want us to be good' to 'what's with you and Faith' but he didn't really want to dwell on it.

"You guys are getting along pretty well huh?"

From down the hall they heard Teresa's screams. "There are monsters here! They wear human faces! It's Halloween and all my friends are pretending!" They could hear her sobbing, fighting to tell them something very important, but not lucid enough to speak clearly. "Stop pretending! So much has changed! It's not possible to stay the same!" As they approached the door Buffy's and Angel's superior senses allowed them to hear her voice drop to a whisper. "I see you. You're lying and your hands are warm. It's hard to tell a story with no voice."

"Wow," Buffy said "Poor girl,"

"Yeah," Angel agreed "I wish there were some way to help her."

"It's too dangerous for Willow-"

Angel waved the thought away. "I didn't mean that." He pushed the door open and looked at the demon with no color in her eyes. "I keep feeling like she's trying to tell me something. Isn't that strange? It's like she's trapped in her own mind."

Buffy walked into the room and was startled by Teresa's excited squeal. "You heard me sister golden hair! You came to bring me peace!"

Buffy started to back away. "I don't… I'm not… who is that?"

"He did things to her, but she did things to. We make our own hell, here on this earth. We surround ourselves with trinkets and keep them on high shelves away from our children. We don't want them to break, but the shelves fall and hit baby on the head. He's mad and wears the man's coat. Clouds are out now, and we do horrible things. Did we deserve it?"

Buffy stared at the girl, trying to wrap her mind around the words that had no meaning, but made a queer sense to Buffy. "I didn't know." She said "How could I know?"

The other occupants of the room shared troubled looks. The last thing they needed was for Buffy to catch the crazy, especially since they were all still reeling from the last plague of crazy. Teresa answered as though she and Buffy were discussing her dating life. "You saw them, you were at peace. Peace for sister golden hair. You left."

"Oh my God," Angel said "She's talking about when you died."

Buffy remembered, not Heaven; that memory had thankfully faded over time. She remembered how it felt to be on earth afterwards. Everything had been so grey and listless in comparison to that beautiful peace. "Share your peace with me?" Teresa held out her clawed and scaly hand. Buffy touched her and felt the hand wrap around her own, tugging.

Teresa gasped and tried to sit up, her restraints prevented her. "Teresa?" Lorne asked

"Untie me, I'm not crazy." Teresa seemed to consider this. "Well you know what I mean." She tugged at the restraints. "I'm as lucid as any of you."

She sounded sane. "What's the square root of fifty?" Angel asked

"Five roots of two," Teresa answered without batting an eye

"Is that right?" Buffy asked

"Oh uh…" Angel tried to work the problem out in his head.

"Sheesh Luis," Lorne rolled his eyes and undid Teresa's restraints.

Teresa stood up, massaging her wrist. "I had a vision." Angel's heart sank, something told him it hadn't been a vision of puppies and rainbows. "There's a hoard of bloodthirsty vampires on their way here right now." Angel hated being right.

"How many?" Buffy asked

"To many," Teresa felt calm, at peace. Although Buffy couldn't remember, paradise had affected her. There was a trace of the enlightenment she had achieved buried in the back of her mind. This was what had washed away the insanity of Illyria's memories. Yet even as the warmth and calm filled Teresa she could see the images from the vision Cordelia had sent her.

"How soon until they get here?" Angel asked

Teresa closed her eyes. She brought the image to mind of the vampire with the long dark hair that obviously knew Spike and Angel. "They are here."

…

Conner ran down the hall, knocking on doors, rousing occupants. "Everyone get to the basement or the front door!" He figured anyone who wasn't an idiot would be able to figure out the distinction between the two groups. Conner passed by his father, but there was no time for words. They had moments to prepare, it wasn't enough time. If only Buffy had gotten to Teresa sooner, or if the hybrid had been able to reclaim some lucidity for a few moments, they would have more time, more of a chance. Now a handful of warriors was going to take on a hoard of super-strong vampires. Conner saw Angel put his hands on Nina's shoulders.

"No Nina," Angel looked into her eyes, they almost looked like raccoon eyes with the dark circles around them. He saw fear and sadness, but also determination.

"I can help, I can control the wolf inside me. I can fight." Nina offered Angel a weary grin. It was so odd to be in this position with him, after all of the times she had wondered what it must be like to be a hero. Now she realized it was simpler than she had thought. Once a decision was made there was a kind of peace, a calmness that absorbed the being. This man who had seemed so far removed from simple human weaknesses was at the end of the day just a man.

"You could get hurt." Angel protested, as if this was a truth exclusive to her.

"That makes no difference." Her words rang with such truth that they stunned Angel. He felt his hands slip off her shoulders. Many of them could die, not just the soldiers. If the abbey fell they would all die. At the end of the day the value of all their lives was equal, there was no one here who deserved to be preserved above all others. Perhaps people like Conner, Buffy, Nina, and Fred Angel wanted kept alive more than others, but not because they deserved to live more than anyone else, because they meant more to him. There were others, Gunn, Lorne, Spike and Kate, as each person sprung to mind he thought of what he would give up to save them, of how much they meant to him. None of them were worth the world. It didn't make a difference who might die, because anyone who could contribute had to put their lives on the line. The people in this building were the last line of defense between the world and its end.

"Please be careful." Angel begged

"I will."

Angel found himself standing next to his son as they left the abbey. In front of the holy building, where the remains of the dead still lay, no one brave enough to go outside and risk attack by the wolf in order to pick them up, they saw the vampires running toward them. Angel was only surprised to see Drusilla for a moment. Of course Dru would be here. There were only a few of the core group not here to face this foe, Anne, Lorne, Teresa, and Fred. In combat they would be dead in an instant. Oz was changing now and on the other side of the group Nina was undergoing a similar transformation. The other werewolves would be no use to them, as they weren't trained, they were locked up in the basement. There was one other noticeable absence, but Angel didn't find it odd that Wesley had chosen not to be here. The idea of watching one's friends get ripped apart while having no power to effect the event at all was not an enticing one.

…

"I'm so glad you're here." The Wolf said, and she truly was. The Wolf loved playing with the ghost's brain, watching it slip away as he tried so hard to stay in this world. The Wolf remembered what that had been like when she fought her own much shorter battle against the ancient magics that banished her and all of her ilk from this world. The Ram and Hart had been sent with her to rule a dimension of their own, killing and devouring any of the other demons unfortunate enough to be sent to the same place. Of course their greatest enemy was already dead, Illyria residing in the deeper well. Now she was even deader, proof that this dimension truly was full of delightful things. Here people hurt and killed the ones they loved. Here people trusted and were betrayed. Here she had a delightful pet she could play with like a yo-yo, watching him slip away and reeling him back in.

"I couldn't stay." Wesley was sitting at his desk while the Wolf leaned in the doorway, smiling at him. Wesley wasn't doing anything, just sitting there, wallowing in hopeless despair.

"Perfectly understandable," The Wolf said

"Where did you find them all?" Wesley asked, surprised that he didn't really care

"I sang to them." She explained "I sang and they came, falling under the spell. My sister is close and she was able to loan me her power for a short time. I control all of them, except for Drusilla, who I want as she was. She will infect your friends, but I will not control them. I will strengthen Angelus, help him conquer the soul that keeps him captive. I will suppress Spike's soul as well, and take away him memories of the last six years."

"Reuniting the whirlwind gang," Wesley noted apathetically

The Wolf could feel him fading ever farther away, his delicious emotions losing some of their flavor. "I'm a big fan of their work, almost as big a fan as I am of yours." She felt the pain and guilt explode, saturate his mind, tie it to the world. She felt the memories race through his mind, betrayal, horrors, and losses he felt responsible for, things he should have prevented.

"We always thought you were too high up the food chain to be concerned with the daily grind, with people like us." Wesley said

"I just like to be entertained." The Wolf explained "A lot goes into planning an apocalypse, but we're great delegators. We had a lot of time on our hands for amusement. My sister liked to watch the most disgusting and depraved of humanity, rapists, serial killers, people who abuse their children- hey maybe she watched your dad a few times!" The Wolf snickered at Wesley's pained expression. "The Hart is very much a forward thinker, far more concerned with what will be than what it. For this reason she loves to watch great heroes, confident in their inevitable downfall. I like to watch the weak ones, watch them try to fight their fate. They always fail Wesley. You tried to become someone, something better than what you were, but you were slapped back down, shown your place. How dare you try to rise above your station?"

Wesley watched the beautiful grinning woman standing in his doorway. She was awful in her beauty, in her grace and charm. He wondered what she really looked like.

"Nothing," She said truthfully

That was a horrible idea to contemplate. No matter what form she took she was a formless thing, a concept. She was true evil. She was going to kill his friends, there was nothing he could do. He tried to remember their names, but it was hard. It was hard to even remember his own name, or why he was here. Why was he here? He should go home and get some sleep.

The Wolf hadn't used much of her speed and strength since her arrival, but she hadn't forgotten about them. She pounced on the ghost, or rather his chair. He was shocked, but he couldn't do anything as her power held him where he was. She had a knee on either side of his hips. Her hands rested on his shoulders. He felt that warm golden light entering him, making him feel alive, but in a horrible way. Her power was perverse, evil and shameless in it. He wanted to move away from the woman in a slinky blue dress straddling him, but he couldn't. The irony of the situation was not lost on him. She lowered her face close to his. "Are you afraid?"

He was afraid, Wesley was surprised to realize this but he was afraid of her. She had the power to sever his connection to this world. She had the power to touch him. He had no power.

"How does it feel?" She asked "How does it feel to be completely at someone else's mercy?" She sniffed his hair. "How does it feel dead boy?"

"Unpleasant," Wesley said pointlessly to the mind-reader "Not helped by the fact that the person who I'm at the mercy of is an evil bitch."

She put her lips on his and Wesley tasted something for the first time in a span of time he couldn't calculate because he couldn't remember taste. He tasted ashes and gasoline. He tasted copper and pus. He tasted sweat and pheromones. She was sensuality, she was death, and she was disgusting. Wesley wanted to tear himself away, but he couldn't. "Do you want to know what you taste like dead boy?" She whispered into his mouth "Like nothing,"

"Well I'm dead." Wesley could feel the deviant light flowing through him. It was getting stronger, infecting every part of him like the world's fastest acting STD. He felt pain and horror, he felt the world crumbling around him. His awareness continued to heighten, he could almost feel the chair he was sitting in. Yet all of that paled in comparison to her. She was true evil, and she was inside of him, reminding him of every horrible thing he had ever done.

"Not yet," She said "Not until I've had my fun." She snickered. "Not until the only thought you can have is how much you wish you were." She put her hands on either side of his face and forced his eyes to stare into her blue ones. He saw the moon in them, pregnant with unspeakable evil. "Do you want to watch your friends die?"

She blinked and Wesley could see through her. He saw Drusilla tackle Angel as he tried to pull a vampire away from Kate. Wesley saw her touch him and then he stopped for a moment, struggling. Then the vampire smiled, but Angel was gone, Angelus was all that remained. He could see the hopelessness of their situation, but he could see other things. He could see toiling slaves in Wolfram & Hart's hell dimension. He saw Holland Manners working as a tormenter, doing unspeakable acts to some young man. Wesley saw Lindsey standing on a rock, paralyzed as he was burned alive surrounded by a clear cool lake. Soon the fires would die and Lindsey would reach for the water only for the flames and paralysis to overtake him once more. This was only one of the many tortures he had to endure on a rotating cycle, so that he never grew complacent. Wesley saw Gunn drive a stake through a vampire and get thrown in the air by another, landing on the ground with a horrible thud. But there was little that could keep Charles Gunn down for long. Wesley saw demons herding twenty-one innocents toward the abbey, waiting for the ground to be won so the ritual could take place. Wesley saw Angelus hold down Spike while Drusilla worked the curse on him. Wesley saw a black woman in a savannah licking lime-green lips while she watched the fight go on. Wesley saw Rupert Giles sitting at his desk in England worrying about Buffy. Wesley saw himself, as he looked through her eyes. He saw prey, a mind in pain. He saw a noble soul being slowly dismantled by someone who took pleasure in such things. He saw his fate, to vanish when he could no longer remember who he was, but only when she'd had her fun. He saw the hopelessness of their situation.

'I just looked into the eyes of pure evil and do you know what I saw?' Angel, what would he say, if he could see what Wesley saw? 'We have a chance.' Did they? Did they ever have a chance? Were they just being played from day one, pawns in a cosmic game of chess?

"Yes," The Wolf kissed Wesley again, letting the evil flow through him. As he saw what she saw he wondered, but only for a moment and he let the thought fade, if this might interfere with her ability to read his mind. When she let him see inside of her how could she know which thoughts were his and which thoughts her own? He looked at the different pieces of her plan.

"Angel will stop you." But Angel couldn't, Wesley knew that.

"You're right." The Wolf was responding to his thoughts, not his words.

"Why are you here, why aren't you there reveling in the bloodshed?"

"I am. I see all." She licked the roof of his mouth, her marble white teeth slammed against his own. Her presence made him real, but only while she touched him, and only to her.

He could feel her, could probably reach up and touch her hair if he wanted to. He didn't.

"You don't think I'm pretty?" The Wolf spoke in a faux offended tone.

"What is it with the men of Angel investigations and blonds?"

The Wolf laughed again as she turned to see Cordelia. "You keep showing up here."

Cordelia smiled, and her smile was benevolence, it was safety and calm. "I admit there is little I can do to stop you, or influence the outcome of your plan, but I can save my friend from your disgusting molestation attempt. Get the hell away from him." Cordelia's voice was calm but firm. She spoke like a mother to a toddler and the Wolf took offense.

She stood up. "You may work for the powers, but we are far closer to my hell dimension than any of those ruled by your bosses. You have no power here."

"I have one." Cordelia said "I have an influence that overcomes yours."

The Wolf snickered. "Really? Tell me about this great power."

"Love," Cordelia said simply, without reservations or embarrassment

The Wolf laughed. "What can your love do here?"

Cordelia pointed behind the Wolf. The Wolf didn't have to turn around to see that Wesley wasn't there anymore, he had slipped away through the wall. The Wolf had awareness most humans couldn't comprehend. "You came here to distract me?" The Wolf was incredulous that this employee of the powers thought her efforts mattered. "To what end? He is a ghost. Do not tell me you came all this way to prevent the corruption of one so far gone."

Cordelia smiled and the Wolf wished she could see into her mind. Cordelia's state as an employee of the powers prevented this. "He's my friend."

"He's dead," The Wolf scoffed "Do you really have nothing better to do than save the soul of one already damned? Soon the world will be ours to light on fire and dance within, is one soul of any consequence to you with such things pending?"

Cordelia faded away into a white light, a light that would have burned the eyes of most evil creatures, but left the Wolf unfazed. The Wolf sighed and sat down at Wesley's desk. She hated that woman, for a variety of reasons. She was too good, the Wolf preferred her do-gooders falling apart at the seams, not content and enlightened. Furthermore, there had been many downfalls and moral corruptions prevented by the little bitch and the Wolf didn't appreciate that at all. Wesley had also played a part in preventing many of Angel's near moral corruptions, but exposure to such evil had taken its toll on him, so that had worked out. Wesley's abduction of Conner had pushed Angel closer to the edge than many of Wolfram & Hart's own efforts, so the Wolf had no problem with him. Well she had one problem, he had a tendency not to stay down, to hit rock bottom and then bounce back up like a super ball. That was irritating, but it drew out the fun, so she was content. Cordelia however, she had always been a good influence on Angel, a humanizing influence. She wasn't perfect, and unlike a certain slayer Angel was very aware of her flaws. But he found her flaws endearing (to an extent), further proof of her humanity. Every wedge Wolfram & Hart tried to drive between them drove them closer together. Now she was forever beyond their reach, safe in the employ of the powers with that annoying Irish hybrid and their former devoted employee. The Wolf was aware Darla was also working for the powers, but not with saint Cordy. It bothered her when she couldn't hurt people, especially people she'd had so much fun hurting before. These people were safe now, forever beyond her reach.

The Wolf stood up and headed out of the office, she needed to go kill something. She stopped, stunned by something she had just been made aware of. It was impossible.

…

Harmony shrieked as she ducked an attack by a vampire. Instead of trying another attack he went for the werewolf at her left. Harmony didn't know if it was Nina or Oz.

"Harmony," Wesley sounded exasperated as he walked through the battle.

"Wes! I could use your help!" She shrieked as a vampire ran by her.

"You're a super-strong creature of the night and I'm an incorporeal ghost."

"I was never good at the fighting, I couldn't even kill Xander!"

"I need you to do something Harmony." Wes said and the urgency in his voice gave her pause. She felt as though she needed to listen to him, needed to help him.

"What is it?"

"I need you to help me make sure the Wolf wins."

…

As Gunn lay on the ground with his 'broken' neck he wondered when the last time he had prayed was. It had been a while. Something about working for the devil made prayer feel hypocritical and Gunn didn't think he'd even considered saying a prayer since what had happened to Fred. Still, with so much hanging in the balance, unable to do much else, Gunn wondered if he should pray. He wondered if he should ask God for some assistance in making Wesley's insane plan work. It didn't feel like they had much hope. Angel and Spike were working for the big bad, all the warriors on the side of good were faking death, and the sacrifice was about to go down. As Gunn contemplated all of this he tried not to consider what would happen if a vampire walked by him and realized he wasn't dead. Gunn was helpless as he lay unarmed on the ground. A vamp could just pick him and take a big bite. Charles Gunn for the first time in a good while, decided to pray.

…

Willow didn't like Wesley's plan. Willow thought the ghost might have finally lost his mind. Wesley hadn't had a lot of time to explain the plan to her, and that might have contributed to the insanity, but Willow was having a hard time believing the plan made a lot more sense when fully explained. Buffy had already agreed though and with Angel out of commission she was the leader by default. Anyway Buffy was always Willow's leader, she followed her without question, even when someone else was in charge. Now Buffy wanted her to follow a ghost and Harmony, whose current morality status was up for debate, to the abbey's inner sanctum while Willow's girlfriend, friends, and allies pretended to be dead outside.

The Wolf had insured that the battle was unwinnable, so the only way to win was to allow her to take the earth. The magic at work here was complicated, but if they let her in, she hadn't won the ground. This only worked if none of them died, and indeed that was the case. In the basement below a crowd of innocents hid, but the Wolf's demon army had brought their own sacrifices. Willow and Harmony hid on the other side of the wall as demons poured into the inner sanctum. Drusilla, Angelus, and Spike were among them. Seven zombie vampires were the last to traipse in. "I almost feel bad for the poor bastards." Angelus said

"Soon," Drusilla said "One of our little family will kill the slayer." She clapped her hands together in excitement. "Yummy, yummy, warm slayer blood,"

Spike took Dru in his arms. "Ah China," He reminisced as he kissed his demented lover

"I don't have any fond memories of China myself." Angelus said "Souls ruin everything." The vampire approached the twenty-one carefully gathered innocents.

"Drink daddy drink," Drusilla said "But mustn't kill,"

"Right," Angelus said "Our kindly benefactor wouldn't take too kindly to that."

Willow was using a spell to spy on the demons. Her heart sank as she saw Angelus grab a young woman's neck. When this was over Willow could break the curse as she had before, but anything Angelus did now would be something Angel carried the guilt for later. "What's happening?" Harmony whispered loudly, if such a thing was possible, in Willow's ear

"Shhh," Willow said

"Don't be obstinate Daddy, soon we'll be a family again." Drusilla frowned "I see a sunny church ground." Drusilla made a hacking sound. "Yuchk,"

"No more churches," Spike kissed Dru. "No more sunshine, it's the end of the world and I feel fine." He spun Drusilla around.

"Woo! Faster, faster!" Drusilla giggled.

"I thought you were opposed to the end of the world." Angelus said

"You've got to change with the times." Spike said "Got to play for the winning team."

Angelus sniffed the neck of the potential sacrifice. "I'm not much of a team player." He pulled her head to the side and put his mouth against her throat.

The ground shuddered. Willow gasped as the Wolf entered. That her powers were weakened here was obvious, that she was still a force to be reckoned with was equally so. Her glow was diminished, the energy that rolled off of her had less of an impact. Her usual calm had disappeared, she looked furious. "I gave you a simple job." She whispered

"Did I anger you?" Drusilla asked

"Ever so much." The Wolf grabbed a piece of splintered wood from the ground.

Spike held Drusilla behind him. Angelus dropped the unharmed innocent to the ground, leaving her shaking and crying as he approached the Wolf. "So you're what everyone is so afraid of." He grinned. "You may intimidate Angel and his whiny friends, but I'm not quite so easy to cow." He reached out to touch the Wolf, sliding down one of the sleeve of her dress.

The Wolf grabbed him by the neck and lifted him in the air. She squeezed with enough pressure to close off the windpipe. This would kill a human, but as Angelus didn't need to breathe it only served as a gesture. "Find your friends, kill them."

She dropped him to the ground. "They're his friends not mine, and they're dead."

"You saw the bodies?" Angelus started to speak but she cut him off. "They're hiding you idiot. They let us in so that the sacrifice wouldn't work and I can't bring my sister over. This is the only place in the city where my strength is diminished from what it should be. If it weren't for that I'd kill you now. As is, if you're a good dog and bring me all your little friends with pretty red holes in their necks I'll let you live." The Wolf stared at the rising vampire. "Do you understand?" She didn't let him respond this time either, only pushed him toward the door.

Drusilla and Spike followed their sire while the Wolf sat down at one of the pews. "I miss Lilah." She complained to no one in particular "Her humanity and capacity for love were sickening, but she was so competent." The Wolf stretched and lied down. "Humph,"

Willow stood up and gestured for Wesley and Harmony to follow her. They had to warn Buffy and the others. They were part of the way down the hall when the remainder of the whirlwind gang rounded the corner. "Hey red," Spike said

"Daddy has such a lovely nose." Drusilla said followed by some exaggerated sniffing

Willow held out her hand and muttered a spell, throwing the vampires against the far wall. "That won't keep them down long!" Willow grabbed Harmony's hand and the two women ran for the front of the abbey. She briefly wondered where Wesley had disappeared to.


	13. Whole

Wesley gaped at the scene in front of him. He had failed. He didn't know what was happening at the front of the abbey, but he could only imagine how his friends were faring against the hundreds of vampires, they hadn't been doing very well when he saw them through the Wolf's eyes. Here she was, cutting the innocent, with Wesley powerless to stop her.

The Wolf turned to stare into his eyes. "I can't wait to introduce you to my sister, I bet you two will get along famously." Her gleeful cackle was the background to her dusting of the seven vamps. The demonic energy wasn't golden this time, but orange. He waited for a repeat performance of what had happened at the hotel. He waited for the building to topple and the blood of the innocent to flow toward an opening in the ground. However the ground and walls didn't budge, the energy just grew and shimmered. It looked instable somehow, like a reaction waiting to happen, but unable to. The Wolf frowned. "They can't all be alive." She looked at her hand, as though trying to find her answers written on her flawless skin. White-hot flashes of electricity snapped within the cloud of unstable demonic energy. Something was happening, and Wesley couldn't believe it was something good. The Ram was coming, his friends were dead. An explosion of white light filled the room. Wesley shielded his eyes and shook with terror, what monster would face him now? He fell to his knees in despair. It kind of hurt…

…

Angelus felt a wonderful glee. Here was every person he wanted most to kill. The slayer Angel loved, the slayer Angel had saved, the cop he had bedded, and his stupid friends. That cop might make a good immortal companion, and he would love to turn her into the thing she most despised, the thing that had killed her father. But Angelus was going to have to go with Buffy, turning a slayer into a vampire was a far better irony. He'd turn Conner as well, let him choose a woman for himself. The whirlwind gang would be back and better than ever.

Angelus blocked a blow from Buffy, keeping Mr. Pointy far from his heart. "I thought we were good Buffy. Are you mad I had some fun with the pretty lady cop?"

Buffy's look of pain and rage was eye candy to Angelus. Spike was battling Faith, Dru had her hands full with Kennedy. Both of the vampires had taken down slayers before and Angel wasn't too worried about them. The other fighters were taking on the crowd of vampires, each time they took one down another was waiting to attack. The werewolves fought next to each other, defending their partner's blind spots. Xander and Kate were employing a similar tactic, while Gunn was swinging solo, running on pure adrenalin and natural rage. Willow's spells weren't doing a whole lot of good, her main focus was on defending herself. Conner was on his own as well, his speed and agility a marvel. He was going to make a great vampire, a task Angelus would set to as soon as he finished off the slayer. He just needed to throw her off her game. "What's the matter slayer, your heart not in it?" Angelus teased

"Keep talking when you're a pile of dust." Buffy said

"If you don't want to get back together just say so, this is a little much."

She was getting angrier, good it made her erratic. "You're going to pay."

"For killing a human being like your witch friend?" Angelus asked "I heard she flayed a guy. I've always loved a good flaying. Heard it was because of her squeeze." Buffy tried to land a poorly timed swing and Angelus grabbed her shoulder and shoved her to the ground. "Would you flay me if I staked Spike?" He asked as he tried to pin her down, only to get kicked in the abdomen for his efforts "I got to say, I was hurt when I found out about that. I thought you were with me because of my sparkling personality, not because of your undead fetish. Or was I just so good in bed I caused the undead fetish?" Buffy's fury was reaching critical levels, he would have her soon, get to taste her once more, but as himself this time, not through Angel.

A flash of white light blinded all of the combatants. Angelus knew a sign of turning tables when he saw one. He stepped back as he surveyed the scene. Vampires were standing stunned, trying to get a bearing on their surroundings and getting staked while they did. Angelus felt his strength weakening, Angel struggling to get control. Angelus ran inside the abbey, he would find the Wolf and have her redo her mojo. Spike and Dru followed his lead.

…

"No!" The Wolf stamped her foot like a petulant child. She surveyed the room, as if her sister were hiding somehow. "My will be done!" She tore a clump of hair from her head. Wesley laughed, a laugh of uncontained mirth. The Wolf couldn't contain her fury. This wasn't fun anymore. "I'll give you something to laugh about. Enjoy hell, because you're fired!"

Wesley continued to laugh, in a very not fading from existence kind of way. He touched his arm, sliding his hand along his flesh, which was flesh. The Wolf gaped. Somehow the energy meant to bring over her sister had gone to him. The sacrifice wasn't working and the energy had needed an outlet, so it went to him. He was corporeal now. The Wolf regained her composure, she would just kill him again, in a far more painful way than last time. She approached him, clenching her fist, trying to reign in her anger, reminding herself she wanted to drag this out.

Angelus and his crew entered. "Wolf," he said "The spell is coming undone."

She heard a note of panic in the confident sadistic vampire's voice and smirked. "Oh no, whatever are you going to do?" She stopped in front of the smiling newly living man.

"You need us! Make it stick!" Angelus grabbed his head, he could feel Angel fighting with all he had. The soul wanted to return, wanted to muzzle him.

The Wolf stopped. Her strength grew weaker every moment she stayed here, and somehow the failed spell had distanced her from her sister. Perhaps her own power was drained by the attempt. Perhaps if she condensed her efforts, released the other vampires and focused exclusively on the whirlwind gang. The Wolf released the vampires fighting outside and was horrified to find it wasn't enough. She grew weaker by the moment, in this place that belonged to the enemy. "Fine," She picked Wesley up by his collar and began to drag him out the door.

The whirlwind gang followed. "Are you going to fix the spell?" Angelus demanded

The Wolf exited to see the last of the vampires fleeing the three slayers, two werewolves, witch, and the four skilled mortals. They turned their attention to her. She dropped Wesley to the ground and stepped forward, ready to destroy her enemies.

"You made a mistake in coming here." Buffy said; the Wolf could read Buffy's thoughts as she left the building and see Buffy meant both this dimension and the abbey

"As did you child." The Wolf was speaking of Buffy's species and their own rise to power in this dimension. She was glad Buffy herself was here.

"You can't take all of us."

"Arrogant child, I can destroy you with ease." Her next words were directed at the whirlwind gang, but she never took her gaze from Buffy. "If you wish for me to reactivate the spell you will not assist me." The Wolf was disappointed she couldn't kill Buffy, Faith, or Kennedy, but she would have to be satisfied with beating them severely and killing all of their friends. Then she would torture Wesley to death and redo the sacrifice, bringing over her sister.

"Let's go psycho."

The Wolf smiled at the blond slayer. She approached her and before Buffy could lift her hand she had punched her in the gut with such force that the woman flew back into Willow, sending them both tumbling to the ground. Buffy moaned in pain as she rolled on the ground. In a single moment the Wolf was on Conner, throwing him into Kate and Xander. She lifted him back up and hit him hard enough to break his jaw. The boy howled in pain. The Wolf sensed Faith approaching from behind and turned to break the woman only to find a knife planted in between her ribs. It was the knife she had tempted Angel with. "Stupid girl," The Wolf said as red blood poured from the wound that looked less like something that came from a living being and more like strawberry juice "There is nothing impure in me." As the last few words were said fur sprouted from her skin and her jaw transformed. Her marble teeth grew and sharpened. Her new form was the shape of a wolf but the size of an elephant. Wesley's idea for Faith to retrieve the knife had been a desperate move, and while the magic in it was strong enough to penetrate her, it wasn't strong enough to actually hurt her. The source of her power was far older than that rinky-dink knife. She brought her snout against Faith with the speed and force to push her down.

Faith's head was spinning, but she could see where the knife was still sticking out of the monstrosity turning away from her. Faith tried to struggle to her feet as she saw the creature take Kennedy's arm in her teeth and lift the screaming girl from the ground. The Wolf shook her.

"Kennedy!" Willow screamed

The Wolf dropped Kennedy to the ground, where the slayer cradled her bloody mangled arm. Willow rushed over to her lover, but was blocked by the Wolf. The Wolf tried to grip the witch in her mouth, but couldn't. Willow's eyes turned black. Her hair went a similar shade and her veins became more prominent against her paling skin. Willow raised her hand and pushed at some invisible force. "Leave!" She lifted her other hand, the black veins bulging.

The Wolf opened its maw and let a horrible sound escape, maybe it was supposed to be laughter. The Wolf retook her previous form, her hair immaculate, and her blue dress still sparkling. She reached out and pushed back at Willow, with only one hand. Her right hand was centimeters from Willow's left. Faith watched Kennedy struggle to her feet. Kennedy tried to walk up to her girlfriend, but fell to her knees, jarring her arm and letting out a scream. The Wolf got a hair's length closer to Willow. Faith ran over to Kennedy and helped her up. They approached Willow and then Kennedy encircled her good arm around Willow. She leaned against Willow and to Faith's shock she saw the Wolf lose her tiny bit of gained ground. Faith gripped Kennedy's abdomen and felt hands grip her shoulders. It was Buffy, with Xander clutching Buffy's shoulders. Gunn, Kate, and Conner had no idea what was going on, but when they saw the Wolf's hand start to fall they each grabbed a section of Xander's right arm. The Wolf's knees started to buckle. She scowled at the assembled. "You are fools."

Willow drew back her right hand and shoved, the Wolf fell to her knees. "Leave this place!" Her voice was thunder again. "Do not return!"

The Wolf chuckled. "The source of the power you draw upon is not a pleasant one. It is not the Powers who aid you. The source of your power demands payment and will cancel out all the good you have ever used her power for tenfold. She will rise from hell and destroy the world she protected for so long through you. You stupid little girl," The Wolf rose and left.

Willow's hands fell to her side and her appearance gradually returned to normal. She gripped Kennedy's good arm and moved it so that she could turn to face the slayer and embrace her. She was careful not to exacerbate her lover's injury as they held each other.

Faith looked for the whirlwind gang, but they were gone. At the front of the abbey only Wesley remained, grinning like a lunatic and touching the walls, ground, whatever he could get his hands on. Faith approached him warily. "Wes?"

Wesley enveloped her in an embrace. "I remember everything Faith. I'm alive. I can feel you. I can feel your heart beating and it's the most beautiful sound in the world. I can feel my heart beating. I can feel air on my skin. I can feel the earth under the soles of my shoes. I can hear people breathing. I can see colors. I forgot what they were, but now I remember. I remember everything. It's all coming back at once, like a tidal wave. I feel it all."

Faith hugged her old watcher back, tears pouring form her eyes. "You're back."

Wesley held her at arm's length, examining her face. Faith was a beautiful woman. He could see the pores of her skin, the structure of her bones, and the story of her life, written in the subtlest expressions. "You're amazing." He said "I can see your whole being, buzzing. You've lived a whole life and it's in you, warm, bright, and humming. I can see you. I couldn't before. I couldn't see anything. None of my senses worked, and now hundreds of them do. I can feel the world, and you, and myself, and a million other things." Wesley kept smiling at her.

Faith grinned, happy tears flowing from her eyes. "I'm so glad." Yet an undercurrent of sadness was in her voice, mind and heart. Angel was gone. Would they be able to retrieve him as well? She tried not to think about this, afraid the hyper-aware newly living Wesley would somehow sense her fear, but he was too caught up the taste of the air and the color of the sky to notice her sadness or fear. She tried to focus on this happy development, and on their victory.

…

Buffy surveyed the room. Kennedy was flexing her healed arm. Willow was healing Conner's jaw. Gunn and Kate were whispering about Angel, forgetting about Buffy's heightened slayer senses. She heard their fear he would return, their fear he wouldn't. Xander was watching Faith listening to the babbling Wesley. She looked happy and Buffy felt a little guilty that it pissed her off. Nina and Oz had gone to find their clothes. They returned with Anne, Fred and the two demons. Buffy watched the six people sit down and look at her. Gunn and Kate turned to look as well. Faith nudged Wesley and they also stared at the blond slayer. Kennedy followed Faith's lead. Willow finished Conner's jaw and then the whole room was focused on just one thing, Buffy Summers. She sighed, the fate of the world, once again, was dependent on her.

"Willow can you undo the curse again?" Buffy asked

"If they stand still for long enough, yeah." Willow said

"Then you'll come with us. We're going after them, and if the Wolf wants to stop us let her try. Kennedy, Kate, Conner, and Xander are coming with. Faith and Gunn I want you to stay here and look after the non-combatants. Just because the Wolf can't get in doesn't mean she won't send somebody to do her dirty work." Buffy remembered Nina and Oz. "Nina, Oz, you guys were a lot of help in that fight. More werewolves would have been even better. See if anybody is interested in being trained. Teresa, have you had anymore visions?"

Teresa nodded. Usually she was starting to go loopy by now, but every time her mind started to slip away she remembered the peaceful feeling she had seen in Buffy's mind and she was fine again. She was very lucid when she spoke to the slayer. "You can't kill Angel."

"If we have to-" Buffy didn't get to finish.

"He has to be at the last battle. He has to be there one way or the other. Even if he doesn't want to be, even if he would rather be dead, he has to be there. We have to follow the rules too."

The meaning of those words hit Buffy like a semi-truck. Angel had to see the final battle, no matter what side he was on. The prophecy demanded it, and Buffy couldn't kill him, even if it would be a mercy. "Okay," She whispered "Is that all?"

Teresa nodded. "You should hurry, try to achieve the ideal outcome."

Buffy nodded. "Let's go." As she led her chosen group away she thought about what Teresa had said. Buffy had never been one much for following the rules. The rules said Angel would see the final battle, but Buffy came to a decision. She was bringing Angel back or she was killing Angelus. Angel had earned that much, screw the rules.

…

Lorne heard the sounds of howling coming from below where Nina and Oz were training the werewolves who had volunteered. Gunn and Anne were sitting on a couch, her examining his bruises and him breathing in her scent. Wesley and Faith had taken Fred back to the room she had shared with Teresa. "Don't be afraid."

Lorne looked at the hybrid who had spoken. He smiled at Teresa. She had convinced him to come back, and part of him was beginning to wonder why. Why had he returned to Angel? He hadn't been much use. "I'm not afraid." Lorne lied

Teresa slipped her grey hand into his green one. "There are many paths available, and nothing is ever certain. We choose where we go, but we cannot see the end."

"Then how do we choose?" Lorne asked

Teresa pointed to Anne and Gunn. Anne had put her lips against Gunn's, and they embraced each other. "With our hearts, we take the path we think is right."

"We think with our brains, not our hearts." Lorne said

"Some of us," Teresa conceded "Others not so much. Buffy won't listen to me, she'll kill Angelus if she can't get Angel back. She thinks with her heart."

Angel, dead. The idea filled Lorne with sadness. He still harbored some resentment for his old friend, but a great deal of good feelings as well. "Maybe she'll break the curse."

"I saw something very important." Teresa said "But I can't remember what it was."

That didn't bode well. "Do you remember any of it?"

Teresa frowned. "I saw a holy man. I saw a doctor. I saw a bartender making us drinks."

"Anything else?" Lorne didn't know what to make of those vague descriptions.

"That's all I remember. We'll know what's to come when it comes though."

Lorne nodded and the pair of demons walked away, leaving Gunn and Anne to their after-battle smooching. The hybrid and the Pylean entered the room he shared with Gunn. There they sat in comfortable silence, waiting for the next storm.

…

Buffy was at the head of their group. Conner was walking behind her and to her right. He took in his surroundings, the tiny signs of what had come through this way. Quor'Toth had taught him everything he needed to become the expert tracker he was. "That way,"

Buffy followed Conner's direction and Willow followed Buffy, standing a little farther behind and to the slayer's left. Xander and Kennedy were on either side of her. Kate brought up the rear. All of them were armed, all of them ready to face three of history's most dangerous vampires. Willow and Kennedy clutched hands. "It's going to be all right." Kennedy whispered

Conner looked at a large industrial building. They were in there, waiting. They knew that he could find them and they had laid a trap. Conner pointed. "There, they know we're coming."

Buffy nodded. "We do this in two waves. Conner and Kennedy are with me. Kate, Xander, and Willow will be the second wave. Our first goal is to take out Drusilla, make it six against two. Try not to take out Angel or Spike unless you have to."

"What if we have to?" Conner asked

"You just answered your own question." Buffy said

The two groups split up, Willow leading her group around back. "Drusilla's mine." Buffy said "Conner you take Spike. Kennedy try to hold off Angelus." The slayer and son of two vampires nodded. They entered the building, which at a glance appeared empty. On instinct Buffy looked up. The three vampires stood on a catwalk of some sort.

"Did somebody order delivery?" A vamped out Spike asked

Angelus dropped to the ground. "Hi honey, did you miss me?" Ignoring Buffy's orders Conner went after Angelus, trying to land a punch or a kick and failing each time. "Come on kid, you're embarrassing your old man." Kennedy rushed forward to help Conner.

Buffy was left fighting both Spike and Drusilla. Fighting Spike took up most of her attention and kept her from staking Dru. Buffy threw her ex-lover into the far wall and tried to plant a stake in Drusilla. The insane vampire danced backwards. "No, no, naughty girl, you mustn't be so selfish." Drusilla laughed as Buffy followed each of Drusilla's retreats.

Willow, Xander and Kate came in. Willow pointed to a crate, which collapsed into a series of giant splinters. Willow sent them one at a time careening toward Drusilla. She would have sent them en masse, but for fear of hitting Buffy. Drusilla dodged each splinter, but she was now having a harder time outmaneuvering Buffy. Dru looked to Spike for help, who was being occupied by Xander and Kate. Spike punched Xander in the throat, he fell to the ground gasping.

Buffy was distracted by Xander's condition and Drusilla took this opportunity to run over to her sire. She gripped Kennedy's arm as the slayer tried to stab Angelus. "Naughty," Drusilla admonished as she snapped Kennedy's arm. Kennedy screamed while Angelus and Drusilla laughed. The two seized each other's hands and ran off, Spike following.

Willow rushed over to Kennedy. She could heal the arm again, but two broken arms in one day was no good. Willow's magic drew upon the body's own strength to heal it. Kennedy would be far weaker now. Kennedy moaned in pain as Willow worked her magic. Buffy was tempted to run after the whirlwind gang, but she knew she had to stay behind with her team.

"We have to go after them." Conner apparently had no such need.

"We stick together." Buffy said "No matter what."

Conner scowled but voiced no further protest. Buffy surveyed the room. Xander was back up. Kennedy was the only one with a serious injury. By the time she was healed Angelus, Spike, and Drusilla would have a decent head start. If the plan was to string them along, Buffy had to admit it was working. They had to corner the vamps or they would continue to slip away and force engagements on their own terms. Eventually someone would get hurt in a way Willow couldn't heal. Buffy decided that wasn't going to happen. This was her game, she made the rules.

...

Faith watched Wesley help poor Fred into bed, she didn't look tired or scared; that was the problem. She didn't have any emotion, she simply looked content. She smiled, but not from joy. She simply kept that small smile on her face as her default expression. Was she getting better? Faith had been told she was, but he woman looked like a shadow of her former self.

"You're going to be okay Fred." Wesley said, Faith was unsure if he was referring to the not quite past danger or her mental state. "Don't worry." That was a pointless thing to say, worry was the farthest thing in the world from this woman's mind.

Fred poked Wesley's cheek. "You're here."

Wesley couldn't contain his grin and in turn neither could Faith. "I am now." He said

Faith saw something, some sort of emotion, pass through Fred's eyes. "When will I be here?" There was definitely something there. "Why did I go away?"

Wesley blinked, a pained expression took control of his features for a brief moment before he returned to his genial grin. "You came back." Wesley said "You're safe now."

"Am I back?" She seemed unsure, which Faith hoped was a good sign It was an emotion after all. "I don't…" She looked at something they couldn't see.

"You're back." Wesley said in a firm voice

"I'm back." Fred realized "But I'm broken."

…

Angelus waited in the meadow for the slayer and her buddies. "The witch!" He paced the length of the meadow. "She's our main threat, we need to take her out this time."

"It's hard to get close." Spike said "What with the magic and all."

Angelus chuckled. "I'm sorry Spike, didn't realize you were afraid of a little girl."

Spike approached his sire. "You want to start something?"

Drusilla laughed. "Oh I like the fighting."

"Yeah," Angelus said "Me to, but I don't fancy being resouled by some uppity witch, so let's put this on hold. You two hold back the other five, I'll take the witch down. Then when they're busy mewling and whining we kill the slayers."

Spike nodded his agreement. "I'm all for getting my third slayer. I got to say I'm disappointed there's a few of them now, kind of makes it less special."

"We could kill them all." Angel said "That would be real special."

"Yes! Yes!" Drusilla jumped up and down. "Kill them all!"

"As soon as we leave pet." Spike promised her

"You want to cut down on the chatter?" Angelus asked "I'd like to know when they're approaching." Angelus listened for the sound of light footsteps. He'd hear Xander first, he was the heaviest and the least well trained. Yet even he with his military training and years of helping Buffy could be subtle when he wanted. Angelus stepped closer to the trees. They should be here by now. There, there it was. Angelus turned to his companions and grinned.

They pretended to be unaware, but they waited for the surprise attack. Nothing was happening. Spike looked around. "Well Angelus, where are they?"

Angelus fell to the ground with a moment to spare. Spike had pulled Dru down, but one of the many sharpened tree branches that had flooded the valley had gone through her arm. "Ow, that wasn't very nice. Mean old witch," Drusilla pulled out the makeshift stake.

Kennedy and Kate tackled Angelus, trying to hold his down. Angelus threw Kate off of him where she impaled her thigh on one of the loose stakes. Angelus grappled with Kennedy while Buffy went toe to toe with Dru. Conner and Xander were going against Spike. Conner held Spike's arms behind his back and pulled the vampire to his knees. Xander helped hold him down. Willow saw Spike was down and headed over to work her spell. Angelus tried to buck Kennedy, but Kate advanced and drove a stake into his abdomen, a non-fatal but painful wound.

Willow gripped Spike's head and muttered some words Angelus couldn't hear. Spike shook violently and burst out of Conner's grip. He ran into the woods. Angelus was disgusted with his cowardice, and finally managed to throw off Kennedy. He ran for Dru and grabbed her hand. He pulled the lunatic after him as they went farther into the woods. He contemplated killing Spike, but decided to wait until after the Witch and slayers were dead. There he was, waiting for them at the edge of the park, leaning against a car.

"Let's go!" Angelus shoved Drusilla toward the car. Spike grabbed Dru and kissed her passionately. "There's time for that later! Let's go!" Drusilla struggled against Spike's grip and Angelus realized something was wrong. Spike pulled out a stake and thrust it into his old lover's heart. She frowned as she disappeared in a puff of dust, carried away by the wind.

"Goodbye Dru," Spike said in a voice full of sorrow and pain

Even though he knew he was in a time crunch Angelus couldn't help but to laugh. "Of course, the bitter irony. Now you're soul boy and I'm free. It's almost worth losing Dru over to see you reduced to this pathetic state." Angelus was upset about losing Dru, but it just freed up more space in his new gang. Maybe the witch and her slayer lover could join.

Spike looked at the residual dust. He seemed almost catatonic and Angelus considered staking him then and there. For over a hundred years Spike had loved Drusilla. Now he had killed her to save a world that had only meant a thing to him less than a tenth of that time. Had he just made a horrible decision? Spike sighed as the last little bits of dust floated away. He ducked away from Angelus's attack. "Do you know what your problem is?"

"This should be good." Angelus said

"You're boring Angelus. You try to hide it behind 'poetry', 'art', and your bloody mind games, but you're just a bloody ponce. You're not some mythic figure, just some boring serial killer. At the end of the day Angel's got you beat, because he's more interesting than you."

Angelus laughed as he dodged a swing from the blond vampire. "That's your breaking speech? All Mr. Broody ever does is bitch and complain." Angelus slammed a hand against his own chest and looked up at the sky. "Oh God," He adopted a Shakespearian manner. "I've got an inner darkness trying to break out. I have to atone for my past sins." Angelus sidestepped Spike's attack and tossed him into the street. He resumed his monologue. "I'm a bad man that nobody can love, but I've want to lay some pretty young cheerleaders." Spike charged Angelus again, but retreated at the last moment, letting Angelus's defensive strike open up his defenses. Spike punched the hole in Angelus's gut from the stake. Angelus stepped back and Spike grabbed his shoulders, bringing his knee into Angelus's face.

Someone grabbed Angelus from behind and tossed him in the air, Buffy. She punched the vampire in the face, then the chest, finally one more strike to the gut. Conner and Kennedy grabbed an arm each and forced him to his knees. Willow walked up and gripped Angelus on either side of his head. She spoke the same words she had to Spike and Angelus felt himself being pulled back in once more. "No!" He could barely muster the will to scream as Angel retook control. Angel blinked and surveyed his surroundings.

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked warily

Angel turned to look at Conner. The boy was panting and staring at his father. His expression was unreadable. "Conner are you okay?" Angel asked

"It's him." Spike declared and no one questioned this

"I'm fine, how about you?" Conner asked

"I'm good if you are." Angel was afraid. He was more afraid now then he had been fighting the vampires before Drusilla infected him. He was afraid he would lose all of the ground he had gained with Conner. He was afraid he would lose his son again.

Conner held out a hand to help his father to his feet.

…

Faith wandered from her room to escape the sound of howls escaping from beneath the floorboards. She avoided any part of the abbey where Anne or Gunn might be, exploring their new relationship. It wasn't that she wasn't happy for them, she was glad they had found each other to hold onto in these trying times. It was just that she could be happy for someone from a distance, without having to observe their nauseating gooey talk and loving looks. Faith also avoided Fred's room, not wanting to bother Wesley as he tried to help her remember who she was. Faith realized this limited who she might run into considerably and was fine with that. She wasn't interested in getting to know the refugees, and the demons didn't bother her but she didn't consider them close friends either. Faith just wondered, she considered checking all of the possible entrances to the abbey for signs of intrusion and decided it would be a good way to kill some time. She was halfway to the front door when she heard someone crying.

Faith stopped and listened to the sobs coming from the other side of a door to an out-of-order restroom. She pushed the door open and saw Wesley sitting on the tile floor digging into the veins in his wrist with his nails. Blood stained his fingers and dripped onto the ground. He looked up at Faith and she saw no levity, no wonder, only horror. "I remember everything." He said "It won't leave. Every memory is here like it only happened yesterday, all of them. Do you understand?" She did understand, and she understood how horrible that must be because if she were forced to feel every one of her memories like they had only just happened she would try to kill herself as well. Even just the top five would be bad enough, but all of them?

Faith knelt in front of Wesley, staining her pants with blood. "They'll fade." She had no idea if this was true. "In time they'll fade."

Wesley laughed, a morbid, horrible laugh. "I'm whole again Faith. I'm whole and real and I remember who I am. I'm the boy under the stairs. I'm the kid who broke his leg when he got pushed off the slide. I'm the man who let his charge be seduced by darkness and got showed up by a bunch of teenagers. I'm the bumbling disappointment the council let go. I'm the guy who got tortured. I'm the guy who got blown up. I'm the guy who got fired from the best job he's ever had. I'm the guy who got shot. I'm the guy who hurt the woman he loved. I'm the guy who betrayed his best friend. I'm the guy who got his throat cut. I'm the guy who turned his back on his friends and hates himself. I'm the guy who accepted the darkness. I'm the guy who held the love of his life as she died. I'm the guy who stabbed Gunn. I'm the guy who died. I'm all of them at once, I can't focus on any one pain. They're all here and won't go away." Faith embraced Wesley, letting him weep into her shoulder, his blood further staining her clothes.

"They'll fade." Faith lied, knowing they never truly did "You'll be okay."

…

The Wolf stood at the site of her crossing. She stood over the chasm and held her hand straight out, palm down. She was consumed by hatred, which she accepted because she enjoyed the taste of hate. She lifted her hand to a larger Angel. The air took on a faint yellow glow and the schism in the earth began to shake. Three men climbed from hell, one at a time. A grotesque wizard was followed by an Englishmen, who was followed by a very normal looking young man.

Billy looked at his surroundings. A part of him knew he wasn't real, that he was parts of Billy, but not the whole; that there were things added and taken away to make him suit the purposes of the one who brought him here. Yet very little of him cared. He had only one desire, the one that the Wolf had put in him. He headed for the abbey, following the wizard and the Englishman while the Wolf stayed behind, laughing. She would have her revenge.


	14. Vengeance

Angel stood on top of the building that had once housed a restaurant. In its day it had housed crowds of hungry people desperate for a taste of the restaurant's renowned dishes. Now it served as a hiding place for the eight refugees as they tried to make their way back to the relative safety of the abbey. As Angel stood on the roof watching the roaming vampires circle them he felt a sense of apprehension unrelated to the footsteps approaching him. "Yeah Buffy,"

"What are you thinking?" She knew him to well.

"I don't think they want to kill us, most of us anyway."

"What do they want then?" Buffy asked

Angel stepped closer to the edge of the roof. "I think they want to hold us here for a while, keep us away from our friends." Angel pictured what horrible fates his friends might now be enduring while he was trapped here. He knew Buffy was picturing the same thing and neither of them needed to say another word. What if one of them was already dead? The abbey would no longer be protected. Even if they were all still alive, there were plenty of non-lethal torments.

…

"You're killing me!" Gunn fell back on his bed while Anne continued her attack upon him. She found his sensitive spots and was merciless in her tickling. She put her lips on his.

"How about now?" She asked "Are you still dying?"

Gunn pulled her closer to him. "In the best way." Gunn considered that he might need to go check the perimeter, but then decided Faith had it handled. He wanted to stay here in bed with this wonderful woman he had so much in common with. There was only one thing that could disturb his good mood, thinking about the circumstances outside this room. Angel and Buffy were still gone. Just as their resident seer's insanity had been cured Wesley was slipping into the realm of madness himself as a side effect of becoming corporeal again.

Anne stopped. "Are you okay?" It had gotten to the point where she could sense his emotions. They were growing closer by the hour. Gunn was excited and scared by this.

Gunn sat up and Anne sat next to him, leaning into his chest. "I was thinking about the rest of the group. I'm worried about… everybody."

Anne nodded, her hair clinging to the fabric of his shirt. "Me to," Anne thought of the old expression about time and wounds. She could feel her own wounds healing as she moved forward, allowing her past to stay behind. She felt guilty about her recovery, about the happiness she had found with Gunn. Yet she justified it with the realization that she made him just as happy as he made her, and this noble hero truly did deserve happiness. So did his friends, but Anne had no idea how to help them, or even if her help would be welcome. Faith was with Wesley, trying to aid her old watcher. Lorne and Teresa were with Fred, doing the job he had wanted to do, trying to help her remember. Anne didn't know how to help either of these groups and she certainly didn't know how to help Angel or Buffy. None of the group that had remained at the abbey knew where they were, or if they were even okay.

"I'm also kind of curious as to where Harmony went." Gunn said "I'm not worried that she'll betray us, because what can she really do? But I don't like not knowing."

Anne smiled as a humorous thought crossed her mind. "Maybe she's working on a plan to save the world, doing our job for us."

Gunn laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure that's it."

…

Faith wrapped the fresh layer of gauze around Wesley's wrist. "Is that too tight?"

"It's fine." He spoke in a monotone.

Faith had moved Wesley into the room she used to share with Buffy. She was afraid to leave him alone, letting him out of her sight only when decency demanded. But Wesley hadn't tried to hurt himself again, or even protested Faith's restrictions. He hadn't done much of anything really. Faith could imagine how he was feeling, trapped with his thoughts, knowing he had nowhere to hide. He must feel so alone. "It wasn't your fault you know." She knew it was pointless, but she thought she could try to ease the pain of one bad memory. "What I did."

"I was supposed to look after you." The monotone persisted.

"I made my choice." Faith said "You can't take responsibility for what I did."

"I kidnapped you from Angel, he was getting through to you."

"Nah," Faith didn't know if Angel's intervention at an earlier stage would have worked, probably but she couldn't be sure. However she felt the truth in this particular matter was irrelevant. "I was just playing him. I needed to hit rock bottom before anyone could help me."

Wesley knew she was lying, but couldn't bring himself to care. The other memories were pressing in on him, like the moving walls of an old Indiana Jones movie. "I was so scared."

What memory had prompted that? Perhaps all of them. "You don't need to be now."

"I'm not." That was a lie. He could feel every emotion he had ever felt, they were all there, overburdening his senses. He could feel his brain shutting down at the onslaught of sensation, leaving him a broken husk. It was ironic that a reprieve from a very similar condition was what brought this on. "I wish I could get rid of the good ones, then everything else wouldn't seem so bad." If he could just forget joy and love, sorrow and hate would be bearable.

"Tell me about them. Tell me about the good memories." Faith requested

Wesley didn't want to, didn't even want to think about them but the memories came to him, unbidden. He tried to shut them out but they shouted so loudly. 'Breakfast?' 'I know there are two people I trust absolutely with my life.' 'Virginia I want to be honest with you. I want to tell you everything' 'To family,' 'I belong here.' Wesley jerked his head to the side. He couldn't think of her. He couldn't think of anything to do with her. She had made him so happy just by being there. She should have left, she should have gone back to Texas with her parents. "Lies, deceptions, it was all a trick." He'd hurt her, just by caring, just by loving her.

Faith sat next to him, at a loss. In that moment all she wanted was to save him, like Angel had saved her. She couldn't though, didn't even know how to try. Where was Angel? Faith was sure that if he were here he could fix this. "Hold on Wes, just hold on." Buffy would bring him back, Faith believed in her. Angel would come back and everything would be all right.

…

Angel ducked and positioned his stake to take down the attacking vampire. This was getting ridiculous. They had made very little headway on their way back to the abbey. Buffy was taking on a cluster of vampires. Conner was in a similar position. Kate and Kennedy were protecting Willow while she tried to heal a stab wound Xander had just acquired. Spike was going nuts, dancing from vamp to vamp. They would have this crowd down soon, but there were more out there. When would she start to run low on soldiers? Angel grabbed a vamp that had been approaching Spike from behind and took him out. "We have to run for it!"

"Why?" Spike asked "We're winning!" They were. There were about thirteen vamps left now and their number were rapidly decreasing.

"We have to get back to the abbey! The Wolf doesn't want us there, and I can't imagine the reason is good!" Angel staked another vamp, the opposing ranks were down to ten-nine.

Spike brushed the dust from nine off his coat. "Let's go then!"

Willow helped Xander to his feet, but stumbled in doing so. All of the healing was taking a lot out of her. She needed to rest. Angel just hoped that would be an option when they got back to the abbey. He thought of the friends waiting there. If they died it was his fault, because he wasn't there to protect them. He shook his head, he would protect them, he would.

…

Teresa blinked, staring at the empty hallway. It hadn't been empty before. That had been a vision though. She needed to tell somebody. She headed for the room Gunn and Anne had been spending most of their time in recently. There had been a man, walking down the hall. He must be a very bad man for Cordelia to send a vision of him. She turned the corner and saw somebody, not the bad man, but not anyone she knew either.

"Hello," He said "A hybrid right?"

She nodded. This was an evil man. If she screamed the others would be warned and have a chance to defend themselves. However he might kill her for doing so. "I don't want to die."

"So few do." He wasn't human, Teresa wasn't familiar with the species.

"Please," Teresa felt the power drain from her limbs.

"You're not the one I'm after." Teresa felt some relief at that, but not much. She could have guessed that, and whoever he was after was still in danger. "You'll help me find him."

That narrowed the possibilities down. Gunn, Wesley and Lorne were the most probable candidates for this man's target. The vision came to her, but it was a different sort of vision. The thing Cordelia was showing her had already happened. This demon was holding a knife and he stabbed somebody, it hurt. Wesley, he was the wizard who killed Wesley. But Illyria had killed the wizard, Teresa remembered hearing about it. "Everyone's downstairs." Teresa lied

"Hiding?" The wizard questioned

Teresa tried to shake her head, but she was still frozen. "No, watching the werewolves."

The wizard frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Oz and Nina, two werewolves we rescued from the Wolf, are teaching the others to control their condition. They're going to help us fight the Wolf. Everybody is down there watching the demonstration. Listen," Teresa fell silent and could hear the faint barking coming from under the floorboards. It had been louder earlier.

"I see," It certainly sounded convincing. "You will come with me."

Teresa felt herself being pulled, she was sliding down the hall, with no control over her own body. She heard footsteps. "Teresa who are you talking-"

Anne had heard them and left her room to investigate. She had approached at such an angle so that she couldn't see the wizard at first. When she saw him she screamed and ran into the nearest room just in time to escape the blast of energy that demolished the door frame of the room she had escaped into. Gunn came running toward the shouting of his new girlfriend. Teresa couldn't see anything, her head was stuck facing forward.

After a few moments where she was essentially blind Teresa collapsed to the ground when the force keeping her still suddenly dissolved. The wizard ran by her, blood leaking from his arm. Anne approached Teresa and helped her to her feet. "He's headed for the basement."

"How do you know?" Gunn asked as he advanced carrying a crossbow.

"I told him that's where everybody was." Teresa explained "I thought he might get torn apart by werewolves." Teresa rubbed her twitching muscles.

"Are you crazy?" Gunn asked "Not everyone down there is transformed and even those who are can still get killed by a good blast. Even if they do kill him innocent people will die!"

Anne winced sympathetically when she saw Teresa's cowed expression, obvious even on her demonic features. Anne remembered her own far worse screw-up. "I'm sure it's the best she could do under the circumstances." Anne said "At least you know where he's going."

"He wants to kill Wesley." Teresa added more information. "Him and at least one other person. I was on my way to tell you about the vision I had when I ran into him."

Gunn nodded. "I'll cut him off before he gets to the basement. Get Fred, Lorne, and Wes somewhere safe. Have Faith meet me at the basement door. Slayer backup would be nice."

Anne and Teresa headed for Fred's room, the room she had shared with Teresa when they were both crazy. Gunn ran for the basement.

…

"And it just isn't fair!" Harmony whined to the three demons cowered under a collapsed wall while they wondered which was worse, wandering the desolate landscape of L.A. or listening to Harmony talk. "I tried to help, really I did. It's just I'm not good at being good. The thing is I'm not good at being bad either. I don't know my purpose. I thought I did when Cordelia kissed me- like not in a lesbo way though- it was like I'd been changed somehow. I felt this sense of belonging and understanding." Harmony sighed. "Life is just so hard. Yeah, I ran when things got tough, but there were like a hundred vampires there." Harmony plopped down on the ground next to the non-violent demons who were wondering if annoying vampires qualified. "I bet they didn't even notice I was gone." She huffed

One of the demons had an inspiration for getting rid of her. "I bet if you went back they'd be really excited to see you." The other demons looked at his like he was crazy.

"You think?!" Harmony jumped up, exuberant "They'll be so happy I didn't go over to the dark side. I bet Spike really misses me. We used to have a thing, he's still not over it."

The demon nodded. "You should go over there, now might be a good time."

"You don't think I should wait a while, make them really miss me?"

All three demons shook their heads emphatically. "No," The first demon said "The sooner you arrive the more they'll appreciate that you came back. Go now," He ushered

"Thanks guys," Harmony said "You're the greatest."

As Harmony headed back toward the abbey one of the demons extended his hand to his friend who had gotten rid of the bothersome bloodsucker. They hi-fived.

…

Fred sat with her back to the wall, arms wrapped around her knees. Something was happening, but what? She tried to think, but thinking was so hard. Things were coming back, she could feel them. Things came together, recollections reformed but they were so slow. She remembered everything, but it was all in the wrong order. There were people she knew, but she couldn't remember if she had known them or knew them still. There were memories that didn't make sense when held next to each other, the puzzle pieces that fit between them were in a jumbled pile somewhere else. So little made sense. Wesley was in her memories. He was very important. So where Angel, Gunn, Cordelia, Lorne, and Conner. Conner was a baby. Conner was a grown-up. Where was the in-betweens? Why hadn't she aged between those memories? Was she a vampire? No, vampires weren't real. But they were, Angel was a vampire. He saved her from monsters. Except he didn't, and she died. She died and she came back, came back and was broken. Fred looked around the room. There was Gunn. They were dating, had dated, or something. There was Lorne. He was Pylean. He was her friend, no, she hated Pyleans. There were two women. One was a demon. Demons were bad, except when they were good. Fred slipped back inside, looking for the missing pieces. She just had to watch out for the blue.

…

Fred sat with her back to the wall, arms wrapped around her knees. Gunn wondered what she was thinking about. "He must have known she was lying. Anyway he never showed. Nina and Oz have the door locked and every werewolf is transformed. They can't be any more prepared, they should all be safe. I headed straight here afterwards in case he doubled back."

Lorne nodded. "You need to find Faith. A slayer should be able to handle this."

"He's also a wizard." Teresa reminded them all "A witch like Willow would be good right about now. Plus don't forget the other guy."

"Willow's not here." Gunn snapped "As for this other guy, we'll look for him when we've taken the wizard down. He's killed once before so this guy is no joke."

"Where _is_ Wesley?" Anne asked, remembering who she'd been told that first kill was

"He should be with Faith." Gunn tried to sound confident, but he didn't, he sounded terrified. There was no way he was going to let his friend die twice, especially after he had so recently been given a new lease on life. That being said… "You said the wizard is after Wesley specifically?" Gunn asked, his mind working at full speed

"That's what my vision told me." Teresa confirmed

"The Wolf, she's pissed about the haywire sacrifice. She wants to take back what she inadvertently gave him. She must have brought the wizard back to life."

"In a manner of speaking." Teresa said

"What?" Gunn asked, annoyed

"I don't think he's alive, not really, something's missing."

"Such as?" Gunn hoped a vulnerability would be forthcoming. He didn't have a lot of defenses against magic. "Is he weaker?"

Teresa shook her head. "I don't think he has any autonomy."

"Does that make his less of a threat?" Anne asked

"No," Teresa said "It makes him more of a threat. He will only do the bidding of the one that raised him, without regard for personal safety. He'll kill Wesley, or die trying."

Gunn raised his crossbow and reached for the door. "I'm going to have to select option number two." He felt Anne reach for his arm and shrugged her off. "Stay here."

"Do you have a plan?" Lorne asked "I'm rather fond of those."

"Of course I have a plan." Gunn said "Kill the fugly demon, no offense."

"So the usual plan then." Lorne said dryly, more upset with Gunn for putting himself in harm's way than for his unintentional insult.

"Yep," Gunn slammed the door on the way out.

…

Faith hit the ground hard. The concussive force that had hit her had landed in the center of her chest, sending her flying into the bed, the wooden bedframe banging her vertebrae. She stumbled to her feet, ready to face the new threat. The red-skinned monstrosity was lifting a hand toward the impassive Wesley, ignoring Faith. She whistled. "Hey, I'm right here."

"You are of no concern to me." The wizard said

Faith kicked the already weakened bedframe, splintering it and separating one bed post from the rest of the frame. She swung the post at the wizard. He fell to the ground. Scowling, although it was hard to tell on his face, the wizard extended his hand. Faith slid back, hitting the dresser that stood against the far wall. She tried to pull herself up, but felt all energy drain from her limbs. The wizard pulled out a knife. "Remember this?" He asked Wesley "I'm going to use it to gut your friend, just like I did you. Then I'll gut you again."

"Ah excuse me?" A whiny nasally voice objected "That's pretty rude."

The wizard turned to see a blond vampire standing in the doorway. "Who is this bothersome creature?" He asked in an exasperated tone

"Harmony," She said "I'm here to kick your ass."

"Right," The wizard said in a most derisive voice "I'm sure." He pointed at her and Harmony stiffened. Faith felt her own paralysis slightly weaken. She began to crawl forward at a sluggish pace, she felt like she was swimming in a pool of molasses. "A vampire," The wizard said "Don't tell me you have a soul as well, it's a tedious trend."

"Nope," Harmony said "I'm good soulless." The wizard returned his knife to the folds of his robe and picked up a sharp piece of the broken bedframe. "In fact," Harmony said in a panicked tone "I'm evil. I want to join your side." The wizard raised the stake. "I'll help you kill him. We can torture him, and the slayer. Please don't stake me! I was only with these guys because I'm opportunistic. I'm an evil opportunist, an opportunistic evil…thing."

"Are you done?" The wizard asked, annoyed

"No?" Harmony tried

"To bad," The wizard brought the stake forward, but dropped it and his hold over Harmony when Faith rose without him noticing, picked up her makeshift club, and then smacked him in the spine with it. The wizard turned, furious. Harmony reached inside his robe and grabbed the knife. She plunged it into the wizard's gut, unknowingly mirroring the way he had killed Wesley. The wizard reached for her hand to pull out the knife, but she just pushed harder while Faith bludgeoned the wizard. He fell to the ground and in his dying moments used every last bit of strength he had on a charm which expelled the women from the room. Faith and Harmony tumbled into the hall, where Harmony almost knocked down a sturdy Englishman. He stepped into the room, looking at the Wizard's body with an apathetic fascination.

"So like us, yet so different," He looked at Wesley, still huddled in the corner. "But not really, right Wesley? We can be just like them, if we're desperate enough."

"You're dead." Wesley said, terror in every syllable. "You're dead Holtz."

Faith tried to enter the room, but the wizard's death did not end his charm. It barred her from entrance into the room. Holtz looked at her with a bored expression. "Yes, but so are you."

"I'm nothing like you." Wesley insisted, not believing a word of it

"You're exactly like me." Holtz assured him

"No," Wesley tried to retreat further into the wall, but there was no way to put more distance between himself and Holtz. "You're insane, driven mad by vengeance."

"You're insane." Holtz reminded him "Vengeance was all I had left. What do you have left? Do you have family? No, like me you don't have that. Do you have friends? No, like me you drove them away. You have nothing. You are nothing. You are still a ghost, just a ghost who can feel. I at least had my vengeance, what do you have?"

Faith and Harmony could see the pair, but they couldn't hear anything through the barrier. Faith slammed her fists against it, but they just bounced off. She screamed in frustration.

"No response?" Holtz asked and when Wesley remained silent Holtz pulled the knife from the twice-killed wizard. "Were you afraid of him?"

"Yes, I was. I fear death." Wesley confessed "It was not enjoyable."

Holtz nodded, approaching him with the knife. Wesley could see Faith on the other side of the barrier, trying to get through. Gunn was there now as well. Both were so desperate to get in and save him. Holtz ignored them. "Yet you fear me more, and one other person more still."

Wesley saw Faith's hand almost enter the room and then bounce back, the spell was weakening with its caster dead. Wesley could distract Holtz, keep him talking until Gunn and Faith broke through. He could also alert Holtz, make sure the man did kill him. Wesley considered both options. "Of course I fear you." Wesley said "You're my boogeyman."

"I'm the thing that keeps you up at night? Why?"

"You tricked me, you used me. All of my fears and insecurities, you manipulated them for your own ends. You destroyed my life." Wesley accused

"You destroyed your own life." Holtz said "I just helped you realize your true self."

"I don't accept that." Faith's hand definitely passed through the barrier for a moment.

"You don't have to. The only thing you have to do now is die. I almost feel bad. You were such a great help to me. I wanted to destroy Angelus's only chance of happiness and you made that possible. You took the only thing he loved, everything he loved. Thanks,"

"Shut up," Wesley closed his eyes, trying not to remember. The pillow over his face, the promise of death. He had been so angry, but at no one more than himself. Still, he had thought they would try to understand, thought they would at least listen. "You had that bitch slit my throat. I could have bled out in the dirt and you wouldn't have cared."

Holtz chuckled. "Wesley lad, you could have bled out in the dirt and nobody would have cared. Some might be pleased, but no one would really care." Wesley had to admit he walked into that one. "Not even your terrors, the things that keep you up at night, care. They didn't hate you. That wizard likened your murder to swatting a gnat. I only ever cared about Angelus and Stephen. As for your greatest fear, he never even met you." Holtz knelt in front of Wesley and pressed the knife against his throat. "Are you going to struggle? I'll cut deeper than Justine did, the pain won't last for nearly as long." Justine, that stupid bitch, how he hated her.

Wesley grabbed Holtz's arm and shoved him back. Just as Faith and Gunn broke through the barrier Wesley wrestled the knife from the dead man and plunged it into his heart. "I guess you're right, that didn't hurt at all." Wesley straightened and turned to look at his friends. His eyes widened in horror as he saw who was approaching them from behind them. He stepped back and tripped over the remains of the bed, falling over Holtz. Blood staining his hands he crawled back into the corner. "You can't be here. You can't."

"Wes," Gunn said soothingly "Don't worry man, you're safe."

Billy grabbed Gunn's hand, which he quickly snatched away. When Gunn saw who had touched him his own eyes widened. "Oh no," he murmured "Son of a bitch!"

"We're all sons of bitches and whores." Billy assured him "Each of us is birthed by some unclean thing, probably as a ploy to gain some power in the world. How else can they?"

"What?" Faith said "Who is this freak?"

"Faith," Gunn said "Listen, I need you to restrain me. In some unspecified span of time I'm going to turn into a homicidal lunatic. I need you to tie me up, preferably away from anyone." Faith started to back away from Billy, having connected the dots and wary of his touch.

"It only works on men." Gunn assured her

Billy stepped into the room. "So, I'm the thing you most fear. How funny is that?"

"I have to help Wesley." Faith said "Go ask Lorne to tie you up." Gunn punched Faith in the face. She retreated more from shock than from pain. "What the-oh,"

Gunn advanced on her and Faith was distracted by containing Gunn without hurting him with her slayer strength. Wesley drew the knife from Holtz and held it out toward Billy. "Stay back," He warned "I'll kill you as easily as I did him. Easier, there's no humanity in you."

"You could do that." Billy said "Or you could turn that knife on yourself. You and I both know there is only one way this can play out. If you kill me you'll get my blood all over your hands, far more than you did last time. You'll be a killer again, and maybe this time you won't snap out of it. What if poor Fred were to come by to see you and get all diced up for her trouble?" Billy chuckled "Not at first of course; that comes later."

Wesley pointed the knife at Billy with trembling hands. "Shut your filthy mouth."

Billy stepped closer. "The only way to protect everyone from you is to kill yourself. I'm not just talking about my influence." Billy kicked Holtz's lifeless corpse. "You've proven you can hurt the ones you love with no outside assistance. Now, do you want to die now, as yourself or do you want to die under my influence when one of your friends has to put you down? Spare them that Wes, kill yourself. Don't be so selfish. There's nothing for you here anyway."

Billy grinned and took one step closer to Wesley. Faith ran into the room and grabbed Billy, throwing him into the hall. He lay sprawled on the ground next to a bound and gagged Gunn. "You bitch!" Billy howled "How dare you touch me whore?!"

"Someone's got problems with women." Faith said "You should see a therapist."

"Yeah," A voice down the hall said "You really should." Angel stood there with his arms crossed glaring at the demon he had once freed from a hell dimension. "You don't like to stay dead do you?" Angel asked "Maybe the third time's the charm."

Billy laughed. "Do you have the guts to do it yourself this time, or are you going to rely on another one of your whores to do your dirty work for you?"

Angel stepped aside to reveal Buffy pointing a crossbow at Billy's head. Angel smirked at the doomed half-demon. "I'm going to have to take the third option."

Buffy pulled the trigger and the crossbow bolt landed right between Billy's eyes. He crumpled to the floor like a ragdoll. "I don't like that guy." Buffy said

Angel ran down the hall to look into the room where two bodies lay on the floor. Wesley was still standing against the wall holding the knife in his limp hand. Angel approached cautiously. "Wes, want to hand me that?" Angel reached for the knife and Wesley relinquished it without complaint. "Are you okay man?" There was no response. "Wesley?"

Wes looked at Angel as if noticing him for the first time. He looked at the blood on his hands. "She didn't want to kill me. She wanted me to kill myself."

Angel nodded. "Well that wasn't a very good plan."

"It almost worked." Wesley said as though confessing the time of day rather than the fact he had almost killed himself. "If you hadn't shown up I was going to do it."

"Well I did." Angel said "So there's no need to- Jesus Wesley why would you do such a thing? Buffy said when she left you were fine, what happened?"

"Nothing's changed." Wesley said "I should still do it."

Angel stepped back in horror. "What?!"

"I'm a danger to everyone here. The Wolf wants me dead for taking what belonged to her sister. She feels she's been made a fool of since she kept me here by not firing me. If I stay here I put everyone in danger. You don't need me, I should just eliminate the problem."

"Are you insane?" Angel asked, vaguely aware of the small crowd standing just outside the door, this time kept back by a barrier of discretion rather than magic. "I do need you."

That wasn't what Wesley expected to hear. "What?"

"I've needed you for a long time, I never stopped."

"After Conner-" Wesley started to object

"I lost my son and my best friend." Angel said "I went nuts. I still needed you. I couldn't admit it then what with the homicidal rage and all, but I needed you. I still need you and when I try to picture the future I can't really see one where I ever won't. So I don't care what you want or how you're feeling, but you don't get to kill yourself, okay?" Angel waited.

Wesley took a few moments to process this. "I'm no good to you, not like this."

Angel shrugged. "Fix yourself then. You came back from the dead, you can't come back from the brink of insanity? We've seen it done before."

Wesley sighed. "I'm tired." He said as he slid to the floor

Angel walked over the two bodies and took a seat on the floor next to him. "I've been putting up with this kind of crap for almost two hundred and fifty years, how do you think I feel?" Angel thought the statement over. "Almost two hundred and fifty, almost."

Wesley chuckled, not 'I'm insane' chuckles, 'Life is weird huh?' chuckles. "Why did we think we could win? Why did we think we could get away clean. Nobody can."

"Maybe," Angel said "But maybe if we keep fighting, we'll earn ourselves a happy ending. All I wanted for so long was forgiveness. Now the only person I want to forgive me is you." Wesley looked into Angel's eyes, stunned; he could see the truth written there.

"You want _me _to forgive _you_?"

"I should never have asked you to stay." 'Breakfast?' There it was again, that stupid memory. It was one of the worst because of how pure the happiness was. It wasn't built on a foundation of relief that tragedy had passed or forgiveness from anger. The joy of that memory had no baggage, it was just pure delight. He had been so glad to have someone to sit next to, to talk to. He had been so happy to connect to another human being, and a non-human being. He finally got to rest, to forget about being fired, forget about what the council and his father had said. In that moment he had found two other cast aways, and they who were in many ways just as lost if not more than he was, had accepted him at their table. It was a symbolic act, but the symbolism wasn't the important part. The important part was that he was there, in that moment.

"You saved my life." Wesley said "I had never…" What could he say that would truly explain what had happened. How could he put the feelings in words? "No one had ever accepted me before. You knew, what it was like to not…"

"Belong anywhere," Angel said, staring at the opposing wall

"You didn't have to care, didn't have to even admit to yourself what you saw. I was just that annoying guy from Sunnydale who messed everything up. You didn't have to be my friend."

"I wanted to." Angel said

"I let you down."

"I let you down first." Angel thought about this. "And after,"

"I guess we're a little past I'm sorry." Wesley said

"It's still good to hear." Angel said

"I'm sorry,"

Angel turned to meet his friend's eyes. "Wesley I am _so_ sorry. I'm sorry I let any of this happen. I'm sorry for a list of transgressions I won't dredge up because it's too long and you know what they are. I'm sorry for so many things, but I'm not sorry I asked you to stay for breakfast. I forgive you for Conner, I forgive you for everything."

"I forgive you to." Wesley was relieved to hear himself say those words and know they were true. He looked at the two bodies on the ground and felt something new. He felt righteous anger. Not self-destructive rage, not guilt, not all-consuming depression. He was pissed. "I really, really hate those guys." He paused "And the Wolf."

"And the Ram, and the Hart." Angel said

"And the circle of the black thorn,"

"And Hamilton," Angel remembered their fight. "That guy did not want to die."

"Seriously," Wesley sounded exasperated. "Nobody ever stays dead around here."

"It's ridiculous." Angel agreed "Sometimes I enjoy it, but I think you should have to kill a person a maximum of two times before they stay dead."

"Agreed." Wesley said

Angel chuckled. He stood up and offered Wesley a hand. Wesley shook his head. Angel nodded and left, respecting that his friend needed some time to sort his thoughts. He passed Faith untying Gunn as the effects of Billy's mania wore off. Buffy, Harmony and Spike stepped to the side trying to pretend they hadn't been eavesdropping. Angel ignored them all.

"Okay," Spike said when Angel was out of earshot even with vampire hearing. "That was gay." Buffy and Faith both gave him murderous glares. "I know you were both thinking it."

Faith helped Gunn to his feet and Buffy walked off. Spike shrugged and went his own way as well. Truthfully he was glad Wesley and Angel made up. For the first time since this all started he thought their champion might actually have a reason to keep fighting. Yes the possibility of Shansu was gone, but Angel had just realized that he might actually have a happy ending. Sometimes it takes telling somebody else the truth before we can admit it to ourselves.


	15. Revelation

Conner steeled himself for what he was sure would be an unpleasant confrontation. This had to be done. He knocked on the door. His father opened it and Conner tossed the word around in his mind. This was his father. For a little while now Conner had been like two people. One Conner had been a normal boy with a normal family and a good relationship with that normal family. The other Conner had been someone else. Now Conner was trying to be both of those boys, and help the father who had given him up so he could be that first boy. "Hey Dad,"

Angel grinned. "Conner, come in." He gestured for Conner to enter the room.

Conner swallowed. Was there a way to broach this topic delicately? "I need to talk to you about something." That was a good start, kind of vague, but good.

"Of course." Angel gestured to a chair and then took one himself. "Sit down." Conner was glad they were alone. He forgot who Angel was rooming with, he knew they were short on rooms at the abbey. Angel waited. "Is something wrong?" He finally prompted

There was only one way to say it. "I don't think you should be in charge anymore."

Angel took a moment to process this. "What's this about?"

"I think it's dangerous for you to be in charge. If the Wolf were to cast that spell on you again we'd all be in trouble. I think someone she can't get to should be in charge."

Angel considered this. Conner didn't look angry, he actually looked kind of nervous, this was new. "Who were you thinking of?"

Conner shrugged. "I'm not really qualified to say. I just don't think it should be you." He fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm not attacking you-"

Angel stopped Conner with an upraised hand. "No, you're right."

"I am?" Conner hadn't expected that.

"Yeah, I'll ask someone else to take over."

Conner relaxed. He hadn't realized how tense he was until the relief of his father's assurance had dissolved the tension from his body. "I'm just thinking about the group."

"Yeah," Angel said "Thank you. Conner I- I'm very proud of you."

Conner laughed, he hadn't meant to, and he knew it sounded bitter. "I haven't done much to be proud of. I was pretty hard on you, and not just before the memory spell. Although I have to take responsibility for the stuff that happened before to."

"Holtz brainwashed you." Angel said "He was your only friend in Quor'Toth and he used that to manipulate you. It's what he was good at, manipulation."

Conner nodded. "Yeah well the past is the past. I'm thinking about the future."

"And I'm thinking about making sure we all have one." Angel assured Conner "I want you to be a part of mine." Angel wondered if he was asking too much of Conner too soon.

"I want that to." Angel felt joy wash over him. "Things are confusing and I don't know a lot, but I do want that. I love my family, but I love you to."

"You do?" Angel asked "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to sound…" Angel through it all had never stopped loving Conner. Even at the bottom of the ocean he still loved him, he was pissed, but he still loved his son. Would they finally have a real healthy relationship?

"It's fine." Conner said "And yeah. I know that curse wasn't your fault. I know that most of what happened wasn't your fault. I mean some of it probably was." Angel nodded "But all in all I think you tried to be a really good dad. What you did for me… thank you."

Angel nodded, speechless. That was probably a good thing, because the moment didn't need words. The comfortable silence was enough.

…

Willow snuck another peek at her research partner. They hadn't spoken much and what conversation they did share was limited to speculation on the proper translation of some more complicated texts. Willow returned her focus to the book in front of her. Information on the Wolf, Ram, and Hart wasn't as hard to come by as it was to interpret. They were very old demons, as old as Illyria. They were the first disciples of evil and were cast out of this dimension at the same time as the other old ones. However unlike the other old ones they were able to see and influence events in this dimension. This should not have been possible. They now knew why, because of the connections they had left. This knowledge wouldn't do them much good if they couldn't find the third connection. It would be a creature created by the contamination of a human by the essence of a demon. Willow felt a memory tugging at her, but when she tried to grab it the memory slipped away. She sighed and shut the book in front of her.

"Something wrong?" Willow jumped at the sound of his voice.

"No," She answered "I just have this feeling like the answer should be obvious. I mean human/demon combo must be kind of conspicuous, there must be some kind of record. I feel like the answer is staring us in the face and we're just too close to see it. It's frustrating." Willow rubbed her eyes and reached for a demon encyclopedia. "I miss the internet."

"I don't think you'll find the answer in there." Wesley closed his own book, an old watcher's journal belonging to the watcher of an eighteenth century slayer.

"Where then?" Willow asked, slightly peeved

"I think you're right, I think we already know the answer." Wesley tapped his fingers on the cover of the book. "Think of this logically. Werewolves are human most of the time, but on occasion they are overcome by an inner demon. Vampires are demons with the countenance and memories of a human, but they are for the most part devoid of humanity. Neither of these creatures strike a balance. The Hart would crave a balance in her creation."

"Why?" Willow asked

"Because she knows her partners cannot achieve it. The Wolf said the Hart had a fascination with heroes. I think the Hart wanted her creation to be set apart from the efforts of the other two partners. I think she wanted something special to tie her to our realm. She would want something connected to heroics, something tainting, something perverting." Wesley shook his head. "No, not that. She likes to watch the _downfall_ of great heroes. She doesn't want them corrupted, she wants them in pain." Wesley's tapping sped up. "There is a myth about the origin of the slayer." Willow froze, her blood turned to ice water. "It is said that the first slayer was imbued with the essence of a demon, given their strength to fight them."

"I remember." Willow said, Buffy had told her the story

"I think I might know which demon." Wesley picked up another book, stamped on the front with the likeness of a mature stag, also known as a hart.

…

Buffy approached the door with caution. She hoped whoever was knocking wasn't here for her. She was tired and needed to think. When she saw Angel she changed her mind, she did not want him to be here for Faith, although she would be all right if he was here to see Fred who had ended up remaining with them after the great roommate shuffle. Fred was with Lorne and Teresa right now though. Faith was on the ground doing sit-ups to try and relax.

"Buffy, good you're here." Buffy felt silly for worrying he had been here to see Faith.

"Is there something you need?" But she still didn't really feel like talking.

Angel looked into the room. "Could we go somewhere maybe, talk privately?"

Faith got up. "I just remembered I have an important engagement somewhere that's not here. Got to run guys, but try not to have too much fun without me." She left.

Buffy gestured for Angel to enter the room. They both took seats and Buffy waited for Angel to start the conversation. "You're a remarkable woman Buffy." Her heart sank, this was going to be about their relationship. She needed to put a stop to this conversation now. While she contemplated possibilities Angel went on, oblivious to her panic. "You've proven yourself to be very capable on several occasions." That was… odd. "I've been leading the crusade against Wolfram & Hart for a long time. But a good leader should be able to see when someone is more qualified than he is and cede authority as necessary." Angel sighed. "I want you to take over."

Buffy stared at Angel. This conversation had gone in an unprecedented direction and she was at a loss for how to handle this. "Angel I… What brought this on?"

Angel shifted in his seat. "I was just thinking of the curse, and the possibility of me losing control at the critical moment." He watched her, gauging her reaction. "I think these people need someone they can count on twenty-four seven. I know you can do it."

Twenty-four seven, a daunting idea. Angel said she could do it and she knew he was right, but did she want to? Did it matter what she wanted when the fate of the world hung in the balance? Buffy figured it didn't, but still, this wasn't the kind of thing one jumped into. She needed to talk to Willow and Xander. "I'll think about it." She said

"Great, just let me know." He stood up to go. "Buffy I-"

"No," She stood up as well. "I can't do this, not now. It's too much on top of everything else. I'm not going to lie Angel. I still love you, and I know you love me. But if we start talking about this now it might become something I can't handle." Buffy waited for him to react, every second an eternity, her heart pounding like waves crashing against the shore.

Angel nodded. "After then?"

Buffy nodded as well. "Until then we're just two friends fighting the good fight."

Angel could and did accept that. He left Buffy to think about what he had said.

…

Kate watched the wolves circle each other. She almost envied them. Their precise elegant movements were a beauty to behold. The smaller wolf, although neither could be called anything less than large, reached out with her snout to nuzzle the larger one. Kate raised an eyebrow. A crowd of wolves was on the other side of the circle, also watching, and waiting. Kate felt her body tense up in anticipation for what she was about to see. The larger wolf leapt at the smaller one, who ducked and then batted his face with her paw, claws kept away from flesh. The larger wolf placed his head under her belly and tried to flip the smaller wolf. She leaned into it and ended up back on her feet. They began to circle each other again.

"Kate," She was reluctant to leave, but also somewhat relieved. It was peaceful down here, as ridiculous as it sounded. Yes they were monsters, unwilling monsters dragged into something they hadn't wanted to be a part of. Yet watching their simple beauty made her feel calm and assured. Walking into the well-lit hall to face Conner did not.

"What is it?" She hoped she sounded kind, not annoyed. Sometimes it was hard to tell.

"I've been doing some thinking lately and I figured I owed you an apology."

Kate wasn't sure how to respond. "All right," She'd play it safe. "Thank you."

"If you're interested in my dad-Angel," He clarified "It's none of my business."

Kate gave him a genuinely warm smile, but it looked wrong on her face. Once she'd had a lovely smile, but time and many hardships had eroded her face into something a smile didn't sit well on anymore. "I'm not, but you're right and I appreciate you coming to tell me that." She wasn't sure what more there was to say and started to leave.

"Are you okay?" Conner asked "Your eyes they look…" He frowned.

Kate reached up and touched the dark circles under her eyes. The skin there felt hot and dry, more like an arid dessert than a human face. "What is it?" She asked

Conner remembered the look in her eyes. He hadn't seen much of his reflection on Quor'Toth. Yet when he had first returned to earth and was staying in the dingy motel with Holtz he had seen a real mirror for the first time. The eyes he had seen then were similar to the eyes he saw now, looking at Kate. She looked haunted, by beasts who followed her into her dreams.

"Conner?"

Conner shook his head. "You should rest. You look tired and you never know when we might have to fight again." That didn't sound comforting and Conner internally berated himself.

Yet Kate smiled anyway. "I'll rest when this is over."

Conner didn't know what to say. Telling her that could take a good long while wasn't going to help. "You can't let it consume you." Conner insisted

"It?"

"The fight," Conner elaborated "You fight well Kate, I've seen you, but you can't go on forever. None of us can. I learned that the hard way. You have to rest at some point."

Kate considered this. Once long ago she'd heard something, had it been her father that spoke the words to her she now said to Conner? "Only the dead rest."

"They don't." Conner said "I know a couple dead people and none of them rested."

Kate looked at Conner and thought of his father. She didn't love Angel, but she did care for him and she did remember their experience together fondly. Angel was very sweet for one who was forced to live such a hard life. He was gentle, gentler than many softer men who had less of an excuse for being rough or selfish. Angel was a good man and nowhere was that more apparent than in the son he loved so much. Conner had caused Angel no small amount of trouble, but through it all Angel had never stopped loving the boy. Kate admired that trait, Angel's determination to never give up on somebody. She'd seen the effect it'd had on her. Conner was beginning to resemble his father. He was troubled yet determined. She saw in him the same selfless desire to help others that Angel had. It warmed her heart to think this was the kind of trait that could rub off on people. "You're right Conner, I am tired. I'm going to go take a nap, thank you for caring." When Conner grinned and they parted ways it struck her how odd it was that someone so damaged could be so naïve. She headed in the opposite direction of her room.

…

"Everything we've found so far backs up your theory." Willow spoke in a monotone, her voice disconnected from her self. She couldn't process what she was saying.

"We don't have a lot to work with and some of these sources are unreliable." Wesley was trying to comfort her, but she knew these words were meaningless.

"How am I going to tell Buffy?" For over seven years slayers, both as a concept and an actuality, had informed Willow's most important decisions. Slayers had changed her and the world around her. She'd always assumed she was a better person for it. Now she knew the truth about the power that had come into her life and changed her destiny. Yes she had already known the slayer's power was demonic in origin, but she hadn't been able to put a name to that demon and she hadn't know that demon was the most powerful member of a trio working to bring about the end of the world. She hadn't known all the good they did was part of a larger sinister plan.

"It all fits together so well now." Wesley mused "I'm surprised I didn't see it before. This answers our two most pressing questions: How is the Hart connected to this realm and why did they go through with their original timeline after the circle was eliminated. The Hart must need more than one slayer alive to cross over. The activation of the slayer line was clearly orchestrated by the first, an attempt to aid his disciples. Once the slayer line was realized the senior partners couldn't alter their timeline. To do so would allow the slayers to organize, receive training, and become more powerful. If they waited too long the slayers would become a serious threat to their plans." On a level Wesley knew he wasn't being much of a comfort, but everything was clicking together in his mind. He knew this was right.

Willow, as upset as she was, also couldn't stop her mind from traveling the well-worn paths of academic query. A question occurred to her. "The shamans who created the slayer, were they evil then?" For some reason this mattered a great deal to her.

"More likely deceived," Wesley said

"Like me," Willow said bitterly "God I'm such an idiot."

"No," Wesley assured her "You did the best you could with the information available to you. The spell you performed caused a lot of good, helped a lot of people."

"And apparently set up the apocalypse." Willow felt lightheaded. "I need some air."

"You can't go outside." Wesley reminded her, but she ignored him as she headed for the hall "Willow wait!" Wesley grabbed her arm

"Get off me!" She wrenched her arm away.

"This was going to happen." Wesley said in a calm voice "This was set to happen long before you were ever born. It's good that it happened when it did so that we have a chance to stop them from finishing their plan. You're not to blame for this."

Willow laughed, shaking her head. "Who should I blame? Should I blame the stupid bitch who cast the spell that allowed an evil demon access to the world? Because that was me."

"I know how you feel." Wesley reminded her "I know what it's like to be used. I know how it feels to be pawn in some bigger game, but we're better than that. We can beat them Willow and make them sorry they used us." He moved closer to her.

She shook her head and clutched her shoulders, hugging herself. "I should never have done it. I'm not worthy of this power."

"You're the only one who is." Wesley said "Because you think that."

Willow gave him a cruel smile. "We've all heard that line a million times. This isn't a movie Wes, I'm not a noble hero. I did think I was worthy. I thought I could handle the power, but I made a mistake. The consequences of that mistake might destroy the world." Tears leaked out of her eyes. "I screwed up Wesley." She hugged herself tighter.

"And you will again."

"What?" She was stunned.

"You thought you were done, I get that. You thought you'd learned your lesson and that the screw ups were over. I can tell you right now that's never going to happen. We both messed up Willow and we're never going to stop. We have to keep going though. We have to do the best we can to do more good than harm. At the end of the day that's all we can do." Willow shook her head, looking at the floor with tear-muddled vision. "You've done so much good Willow, and the slayers you awoke have and will do more. We'll take their play and turn it back around on them. We'll make them regret thinking that could play us. We will."

"So that's it, we go on?"

"We take their clever plan and through it in their face. We show them how they made us feel when we twist their evil ends into good. We pervert their aims like they did ours."

"We fight fire with fire." Willow said and Wesley nodded an affirmation "Okay,"

…

'You're so smart Fred.'

'I'm not so much,'

'You are, that's why I want you to think about this.'

'I'm not really a big city kind of girl.'

'You belong at a university with the resources to nurture a brilliant mind like yours, not some local college no one twenty miles from here has ever heard of.'

'I don't need to be at one of those big universities. I'm happy here.'

'You are now, but fifteen-twenty years from now you'll look back at this amazing opportunity and kick yourself for not taking it. They're offering you a full scholarship.'

'I don't get it, why do they want me so bad?'

'Because you're special Fred, you're so smart.'

Fred Burkle, she was Fred Burkle. Fred Burkle was smart. Fred Burkle was trapped. It was so cold. The different pieces of her were crying out in pain, trying to pull together. They wanted to reconnect, be a whole again. She was frozen in a million different ice cubes in this blue winter kingdom. Sometimes it would grab a piece of her and look inside. All the pieces would shudder in pain, but none knew why. They were separate and as separates they were nothing, not a whole. She was trapped in the blue cold with no name, just a shattered soul.

"Fred," Lorne, she knew Lorne. Lorne was her friend. Lorne was sitting in front of her, talking to her. There was a woman next to him, a demon.

Fred was so scared. She was at the playground and mommy was gone. She sat down in the sand and cried. Except she wasn't sitting in the sand, she was curled up in a ball on the floor of her cave. She put a hand over her mouth so that no passer-by would hear her sobs and drag her back to slavery. Except it wasn't her hand it was his. He was chasing her down the hall inside the Hyperion. Except they weren't in the Hyperion. She was inside Wolfram & Hart and he was a vampire now. Except he wasn't a vampire. He was Wesley and she was kissing him. Except she wasn't at Wolfram & Hart she was in her room and she was dying. She was dead and there was no reality, no memories. There was only the cold that hurt and never stopped.

"Fredikins," Lorne, Lorne was her friend.

"I'm cold."

Lorne was putting a blanket over her shoulders. Was this real or a fragment? "Is that better?" She gripped the blanket. It felt real. She rubbed her thumb and pointer finger against the fabric. "Do you want another blanket?" Could she choose her answer or was this a memory?

Where were the connections? Fred could feel all the pieces, each of them. She tried to force them to come together faster. She picked one up. 'Don't come back.' She dropped it, and feared it would break, it didn't. It connected to another piece. Conner was gone. Baby Conner was gone through a portal. He couldn't be, not a portal. He must be so scared. Baby Conner was gone. Wesley was gone. Angel and Cordelia were gone. Adult Conner was here, how did he get here? He came through a portal. She came through a portal. The handsome man saved her from monsters. Except he didn't, because that didn't happen in the real world. In the real world she died. "I'm dead." 'Why can't I stay?' She had to go. "Not fair, not fair. I want to stay."

She felt hands grab her shoulders. "Shhh Fredikins, you're here now." Lorne, Lorne was her friend. He sang songs. Would Lorne sing to her? "You're here."

"Sing me a song."

In the arms of a demon she listened to angels sing.

…

"Buffy I'm so sorry." Willow's eyes welled up with tears. She had thought she could handle this. She had been wrong. She wanted to run away, hide her face.

Buffy sat completely still. "You're sure?" Of course they were sure, they wouldn't tell her something like this if they weren't sure.

"The slayer line is the Hart's tie to the earth." Wesley said in the gentlest possible voice

Buffy nodded. She was numb. She realized she wasn't there anymore. She was somewhere else watching Willow and Wesley tell Buffy something. Buffy heard snatches of what they said, academic explanations for something to abhorrent to think about. She heard about dimensions, ancient magics, ceremonials. All she could think was that the first had won after all. She'd fought so hard to defeat him, accomplished so much, and this had been his plan all along? She couldn't do this. She couldn't keep fighting a fight where right and wrong were so confusing. She couldn't keep going when the one thing she had never questioned was a source of good actually came from the ultimate evil. She didn't know anything anymore, couldn't be sure of anything. Buffy heard voices in the background, calling her name, but she wasn't there.

…

Nina stood in front of the sink basin. She turned on the water and murmured a silent thanks for the abbey's independent well. She cupped her hands, letting them fill with water. As the water slipped over the edges of her palms she pictured herself splashing the water on her face and scrubbing her pores. The water continued to run. Nina separated her hands and let the water hit the porcelain sink with a loud splash. She shut off the water. "Nina?"

She looked over at her roommate, standing in the doorway. Nina reached for a hand towel. "Sorry, I'm done." She pressed her cold fingers to her burning temples.

"No, it's not that. There's someone at the door for you."

"Oz?" Nina didn't really need to ask. Her roommate nodded and Nina headed for the open door which revealed Oz standing in the hall.

"Hey Nina," He looked almost as worn as she did.

"Hello Oz," Nina waited.

"We've been doing good work together."

Nina nodded. "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."

Oz blinked. "What?"

"I'm sorry if our professional relationship made you think that things had changed between us. I didn't intend for that to happen. I don't want to confuse you."

Oz frowned. "I just thought we were working so well together. We were like one."

Nina nodded. She wasn't going to deny that. "I'm sorry Oz. That isn't enough."

"What is?" He asked "I haven't felt this way about anyone since…" He pushed the painful memory away. "I have this monster inside me and it's a curse, but when I'm with you it isn't. When I'm with you it's just something we share, almost like a gift. You make me feel whole Nina. You make me feel alive." Oz couldn't remember the last time he'd rambled like that, it wasn't like him. "You make me feel like a different man, a better man."

"You're a good man Oz." Nina said "I just don't know if you could ever be my man."

Oz felt his heart crumpling in on itself. "You're casting me aside because of one mistake?" He stared at her incredulously. "Is that fair?"

Nina gave him a sympathetic smile. "You let me down. I'm not punishing you or trying to prove a point, but I think I have a right to choose my boyfriend using whatever criteria I see fit. I need someone I can trust completely. I just can't trust you, I'm not going to apologize for that. I'll apologize if I confused you, but I can't give you what you want and that's my right."

"Don't you feel anything for me?" Oz asked in a whisper

"It doesn't matter." Nina said

"It matters to me."

Nina shrugged. "I hope this doesn't affect the work we're doing."

"Of course not." Oz's voice was empty.

"Is there anything else?" Nina asked as kindly as she could

Oz shook his head and Nina shut the door as gently as possible. Oz stood there for a moment and didn't try to stop the flow of tears. Nina walked back into the bathroom and splashed water on her face, hiding her own tears.

…

Angel tried to think of the proper adjective to describe the Buffy who sat down across from him. The best he came up with was shell-shocked. "What happened?"

She shook her head. Angel sensed she needed quiet, so he gave her that. If Angel had to guess how much time passed he would say a little under an hour. "No," Was all she said

"What?" He didn't understand.

"I can't lead. I'm just as much a liability as you."

"I don't understand."

"Me either," Buffy rubbed her arm. "My whole life, my whole purpose has been a lie."

…

"Can I ask you something?"

Spike looked toward the sound of the voice. Kate was climbing out a window and navigating over to the section of the roof where he sat smoking. She took a seat next to him and he offered her the pack. She shook her head. "All right."

"I don't want to die." She said "Seems to me though a lot of people around here have."

"Only… yeah wow that is a lot." Spike ran through the mental list. Him, Angel, Buffy, Wesley, Fred, Harmony, and that was just the ones he knew of. Who knew what the scoobies had been up to since the last time he saw them? "Occupational hazard,"

"Most don't come back." Kate said "Cordelia, Angel had this other friend Doyle."

"I heard," Spike said "They say he was a good bloke."

"Rodney," She continued "My dad…" She felt she was getting of topic. "I don't want to die, but I don't want to come back either. No offense, but I can't picture a worse fate than being a vampire. I don't want to be a ghost. I don't want to lose my mind. If I die, I want to stay dead."

Spike nodded. "Understandable," He took a deep drag of his cigarette. "So what's the question?" He pushed the puff of white smoke from his mouth.

"How?"

Spike tilted his head quizzically. "Sorry love?"

"How do I stop myself from coming back?"

Spike shook his head. "We don't get to choose. I didn't choose this."

"You didn't know." Kate said desperately "You didn't know about this world until you were already a part of it. I know, and there has to be a way that I can find to keep out of it."

Spike shook his head. "Don't get bit, don't sign contracts with demonic law firms, and don't touch big stone sarcophaguses. That's all I got." She opened her mouth to protest and Spike remembered their other dead colleague. "Oh and don't befriend red or jump into portals."

Kate sighed and looked down at the ground. She held out her hand and Spike put a cigarette in it. She put it in her mouth and leaned toward the lighter he extended. "So it's up to fate huh?" She inhaled deeply, feeling a painful burning in her throat.

Spike shook his head. "I'm not a big fan of fate. My advice, don't die."

"All right," Kate threw the cigarette off the side of the roof. "I won't."

"You know I'm sort of running low on those." Spike complained

"Sorry, it seemed thematic."

Spike scoffed. "You're as bad as the poof."

Kate leaned against him, her head on his shoulder, golden hair draped over his chest. He sat content, looking out over the burning city, collapsing around them. They waited on this sacred island for the chance to stop ultimate evil. He decided she wasn't going to die.


	16. Choices

Faith lay on her bed, thinking about her life. She had demon in her. "Huh," It should bother her more, what she was, where she came from. She knew on an intellectual level she should be having an adverse reaction to this new knowledge. But she wasn't.

"You always knew. You're much brighter than Buffy. You embraced who you were while she hid from it." Faith turned her head and saw Mayor Wilkins sitting in a chair by her bed. "Hey sweetheart, feeling lonely?"

Faith closed her eyes. So she was dreaming, well that was all right. She dreamed about him sometimes, always nightmares. Even the good dreams were nightmares, more so than the bad ones. She wanted to wake up, see how she really felt about this news, outside of her dream.

"You're not dreaming." Wilkins assured her "I sensed you were lonely and thought we could talk. I know you miss me. I miss you too sweetheart."

"I don't miss you."

"I know you feel it's wrong. I know they made you hate yourself and by extension me. If they were really your friends though they'd accept you for who you are. They would have accepted the demon instead of trying to cut it out of you with your own knife, the knife I gave you." He sounded offended at that last part "They don't love you Faith, but I still do."

"This is a dream."

"No," He shook his head, wide grin on his face. "I'm right here Faithy."

"You're dead." A terrifying thought occurred to her. What if the Wolf had raised Wilkins like she had the wizard, Holtz, and Billy? What if he was here to kill her?

Wilkins chuckled. "Kill you? I could never kill you Faith. You're my special girl."

"How are you alive?"

"I live in you Faith, because you love me."

Faith opened her eyes and he was gone. She breathed a sigh of relief. It was only a dream. She hopped off the bed and started to do some push-ups. The nightmares were nothing new, nothing to be concerned about. She stopped. On the chair where he had been sitting was a small silver device. Faith felt her muscles lock up and she collapsed on the ground. She scrambled to her feet and picked up the device, then dropped it as though it was dirty. It was the mechanism she had used to switch bodies with Buffy back in Sunnydale all those years ago. Not so long ago though; four years, maybe a little less maybe a little more. Faith stomped on the device and it broke into pieces. She kept stomping until the largest piece was no bigger than a thumbnail. She meticulously gathered the pieces and threw them in the wastebasket.

She looked around. She was alone. Why did she feel so guilty? Why did she feel like she had done something wrong? "The demon thing is just getting to me more than I thought." She tried to convince herself "It was just a dream." She avoided looked at the waste basket as she sat down on the floor. "It was only a dream." She thought of Robin. She almost wished he were here right now to take her in his arms and hold her, make her feel right. "Just a dream,"

…

"Fred I brought you something to eat." Wesley entered the room carrying a tray. "It isn't very good but you need to eat." He set the tray down on the bed next to her. "Fred," He wondered if she could hear him. Was she even aware of his presence? "It's me, Wes."

She looked into his eyes and he saw her, saw Fred. He felt a wave of happiness wash over him. She reached out and touched his face. "I remember you." She whispered "You read to me."

Wesley flinched at that. He remembered, that had been the night she died. "You need to eat something." She brushed her fingers against his face absent-mindedly. "Fred,"

"That's me," She said with a hint of surprise. "I'm Fred."

"Yes you are. Please eat something." Fred looked at the bowl of soup and slice of bread coated in peanut butter. She reached for the bread with a shaking hand. She let the hand drop into her lap. "I'm cold." She said "I'm cold." She reached for the food again.

"Here," Wesley picked up the bowl of soup. He felt guilty, feeding her like a child. He felt like he was demeaning her somehow but she needed to eat. He lifted the spoon toward her mouth. "Eat," He requested softly "Please Fred, for me?" The last part seemed to work and she opened her mouth and closed her lips around the spoon. He fed her until the soup was gone.

She reached out for him again. "I remember, you're book man."

Wesley smiled at that, despite the bad memories the phrase conjured. But there were also happy memories associated with the phrase. "That's me, I'm book man."

She cupped his chin in her hand and rubbed her thumb against his cheek. "We did math together in the hotel. We looked through your books. I remember." Wes felt a small tear run down his cheek. It hit her hand and she removed her hand from his face, bringing it to her own for examination. "You're crying." She was stunned. "You cry for me?"

"I'm just glad you're back."

Fred looked away and Wesley could feel her presence withdraw from the room. The sensation broke his heart. "I'm cold." She spoke without emotion and Wesley got her a blanket.

…

Willow sat cross-legged on her bed while Kennedy sat behind her, running her fingers through her hair. She would create a loose braid, undo it, and start again. Her fingers tugged gently at the strands of beautiful red hair. Willow almost felt at peace. Of course every time she was about to lose herself in the comfort of her girlfriend's company she would remember what she did and how Buffy felt right now. Willow felt a pang of guilt for not considering Kennedy's feelings. Kennedy hadn't conceived or executed the idea to awaken the potentials, but she was a slayer and surely had feelings about knowing her origin. "Are you all right?" Willow asked

"I'm with you." Kennedy said "That's my answer."

Willow smiled, Kennedy would often do that, say the one thing she needed to hear to make her heart swell with joy and her problems seem small. "I'm with you." Willow echoed

"How's Buffy?" Kennedy asked

"She won't talk to me." Willow said "She's in shock. I can't blame her. Slayers have been a part of my life for a long time, but for Buffy it is her life. Whatever I'm feeling she must feel times a thousand." Willow started picking at her cuticles. "I don't know what to do."

"All you can do is be there." Kennedy said "When she's ready to talk you'll know."

Willow nodded and closed her eyes, blocking out everything but the sensation of Kennedy's fingers running through her hair. She let the world fall away.

…

Angel held Buffy. Since she had told him she hadn't said a word. They just lay on his bed together, him holding her. She was sad, scared, and lonely. She knew she would have to get up, get up and face this new development like she had faced so many in the past. Yet she couldn't bring herself to do it, not yet. She would lay there, gather her strength. Angel knew she needed this and was prepared to wait for as long as it took. He was prepared to wait here with her until the end of the world. Buffy knew what she would do. She would get up, collect the assembled warriors, and together they would all come up with a plan. She just wasn't ready yet. She needed to lie here for a little while longer. She could face this as she had faced so much before. She had always been confident in one thing, that she was the chosen one. As the chosen one she could not fail. Now she knew who had chosen her and that she might have been picked just to fail. Well the joke was on the senior partners because Buffy Summers was nobody's fool. She would beat them, she just needed to lay here for a little longer. She needed to be in the arms of the man she knew wasn't going to leave her, wasn't horrified by what was inside of her. Just a little longer,

…

Nina splashed more water on her face, but it wasn't enough. She was burning up. The wolf inside her ran around and around, heating up her insides. She could feel her growing stronger, wanting to challenge her human minder. She felt so hot she was sure at any moment her skin would start to smoke. Nina was tempted to transform, let the wolf out, but it was like training a dog, you couldn't reward bad behavior. Nina doubled over in pain, clutching the area over her uterus she usually applied pressure to when she was experiencing menstrual cramps. It did not good now obviously. "Do you want me to get someone?"

The roommate, why was she okay? Why weren't all the werewolves so afflicted? Was is because Nina had a stronger connection to the wolf? She had thought she could control it, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was weak. Small tears leaked from her eyes and practically sizzled on her fevered skin. Nina collapsed to the ground. The roommate froze, conflicted. She considered getting Oz. She knew Nina wouldn't want her to, but maybe he could help…

…

Wesley entered Fred's room again. It wasn't empty this time, Faith was there. When she saw him and the tray of food he brought she stood to go. "I'll be back." She said by way of explanation. Wesley sat the tray next to Fred again and knelt in front of her.

"Fred are you there?" He wanted her to be so badly.

When she looked at him he was overcome with ecstasy to see the comprehension in her eyes. "I'm Fred." She said "I'm Fred and you're Wesley. You're here to help me."

Wesley nodded. "I want to help you remember."

Fred grabbed her shoulders. "I'm cold." Why was she always so cold? Wesley stood up to get a blanket but when he tried to drape it over her she shoved his arms violently away. "She's going to get me." Fred moaned "It's so cold inside. I don't want to go back." Wesley halted as his mind put together the pieces of the puzzle. A picture formed. "Don't let her." Fred pleaded

Wesley knelt down again and then wrapped his arms around her. "You're safe now."

Fred turned her head and put her lips against Wesley's. He recoiled as if struck. "I'm cold." Fred said with a voice full of sadness and longing "I want to be warm." She slid off the bed to land on her knees, eye to eye with Wesley. She tried to kiss him again.

Wesley backed away, rising to his feet and retreating to the middle of the room. "I can't Fred. It isn't right. I won't take advantage of you. I can't." Well he could.

"I'm cold." Fred rose to her feet and approached Wesley. He matched each of her forward steps with a backwards one. "I want to be warm. Please make me warm. It's so cold in here and blue. She wants to put me back in the ice and snow. Warm me up so she can't."

"I won't let anyone hurt you." Wesley promised "But I can't… not like this."

Fred stopped her advance as Wesley reached the other bed, stuck between her, it, and the door. "I don't have any warm memories of you. Where are they?"

Wesley wiped a tear from his eye. "We never got to… I had this special evening planned and I thought maybe… But it didn't matter, I just wanted to be close to you, I didn't need anything else. We never got a chance." He sat down on the bed.

"I went away." Fred said

"I wanted to save you. I would have done anything." Fred walked over to him and sat next to him. She slipped her arm under his and intertwined their fingers.

"I came back." She comforted him, Wesley contemplated the bitter irony of it

"I'll never let anything happen to you again. The blue one is gone and she's never coming back. You don't have to be cold anymore. I'll protect you."

Fred lay her head against his chest. "Tell me about the first time you saw me."

Wesley told the story of the hell dimension and the wild woman they met there who saved them from their friend who had gone mad. She kept her ear pressed against his chest and while she listened to his story she listened to his heart. The pieces began to speed up.

…

Xander called out to Faith and she stopped, turning around with half a sandwich in her hand and the other half in her mouth. "Um-hum," She swallowed the bread and meat. "What?"

"You know?" He asked, not needing to elaborate

Faith nodded.

"Buffy's not taking it well."

"B will bounce back, she's tough." Faith said

"And you?" Xander asked "Are you okay?"

"What you don't think I can handle this? I've dealt with the dark before."

"I know." Xander felt awkward, he wished he hadn't started this conversation in the hall.

"So what? You think I'm back to my old ways?"

Xander backed up. "What? No, no way." He tried to defuse the situation. "Never,"

Faith laughed. "I see it on your face. Faith can't handle this, she's going to go back over to the dark side. What's it take with you guys? How many times do I have to prove myself?"

"You don't." Xander babbled "You have. It's not- I didn't-"

Faith walked up to him and jabbed her pointer finger into his chest. It hurt. "I don't need you looking out for me Xander Harris. I don't _want_ you looking out for me. Got it?"

"Got it," Xander whispered as she walked away, biting into the remainder of her sandwich. She wasn't listening. She was seething. Who did he think he was?

"He thinks he's better than you." Wilkins was standing in the empty closet as Faith entered and sat in the corner, lights off. She didn't want to go to her room, she didn't want to risk seeing anybody. She didn't want to talk to anybody. "They all do." Wilkins said as he sat down next to her in the dark. "But you're better than them. You're my special girl."

"Go away,"

"You want me to leave you alone in the dark?" Faith nodded. "That's why you're my special girl. They're afraid of the dark. Buffy's hiding from it, in your guy's arms no less."

"What are you- no I'm not getting roped into a conversation with you."

"That's all right, I'll do all the talking. They think you're dirty because you have demon in you, but Buffy and Kennedy have that same demon, they're just too afraid to accept it. No one judges them for the demon, not like they do you. They're not afraid of them like they are you."

"Go away," Faith begged "You're not real."

"But I'm all you've got. Angel doesn't care about you, not while he's with Buffy. Wesley doesn't care about you, not while he's with Fred. Everyone hates you Faith, everyone but me."

…

Kate used the vampire's own strength against her when Harmony rushed headlong into a poorly thought out attack. Kate moved quickly out of the way and while Harmony was unbalanced Kate landed a quick jab in her abdomen. Harmony doubled over slightly and Kate clutched her shoulders to throw her against the wall. Harmony grabbed Kate's arm and threw her over said shoulder, Kate hitting the ground with a thump that knocked all the air from her lungs.

"Not bad," Spike said as he observed Harmony helping Kate to her feet. "But don't be afraid to fight dirty." He walked over to Harmony. "Grab her hair," He demonstrated.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow," Harmony reached for Spike's hand but her jerked her to the side.

"Looks painful," Kate noted

"That's the general idea." Spike said as he released Harmony "Don't be afraid to employ those contemptible little tricks 'honorable' fighters look down on. Honorable is just another synonym for dead. You think I survived one hundred thirty years by being honorable?"

"You didn't survive." Harmony pointed out "You're technically dead."

"Not now Harm," Spike said in an aggravated tone

"She's right," Kate was smiling and Spike found he no longer minded Harmony's semantic jab. "You did die, but hopefully you learned from the experience."

"I did." Spike assured her "If a beautiful woman lures _you_ into an alley, run. She's up to no good." Spike winced at the memory of Drusilla. He missed her in an odd way.

"I'll keep that in mind." Kate said

Spike smiled at her. "Okay, watch this," He looked at his fellow vampire. "Harmony,"

"Do I have to get punched in the face just so you can impress your girlfriend?"

"Please," Kate said "I'm not about to sleep with two vampires. I'll start to get a reputation." Upon hearing those words Spike's on again off again fiery passionate hatred against Angel flared up. It was bad enough that Angel had already slept with this girl Spike realized he was starting to like, now Spike didn't have a shot with her because of it.

"Well the slayer-"

"Shut up Harmony." Spike snapped

…

"Queen of spades!" Teresa slammed the card down on the table.

"What?! You can't do that, you have to play a club." Gunn protested

"I'm out of clubs." Teresa grinned cheekily as she held up the cards it must have been hard to hold with those deadly claws. He couldn't see the cards but he believed her.

"You're really good at this game." Gunn said as he collected the queen of spades as well as the three, seven, and his own ten of clubs. He threw down the jack of diamonds.

"Or you're just really bad." Anne teased as she tossed out the ace of hearts

Gunn internally swore. "How is everybody but me out of something?"

"It's called strategy." Lorne said "Some people use it."

"I'm not much of a strategic person." Gunn said

"You?" Lorne said in the world's fakest surprised voice "Charles Gunn?"

"Ha, fricken ha," Gunn said in a very slow deadpan as he collected another lost hand

"Don't worry," Teresa said "You'll get better. It just takes time."

"If we're being totally honest," Gunn said as he played a low heart hoping someone had a higher heart they would have to play "I kind of don't want to be stuck here long enough to get good at this game." Everyone had either a lower heart or no hearts, he couldn't catch a break.

"You don't think we'll all get together and play hearts after we save the world?" Teresa asked way to cheerfully as she counted up everyone's points and wrote them down

Lorne picked up the deck to shuffle. It was Teresa's turn to shuffle, but she wasn't very good at it. "Pretty confident huh?" Gunn asked, in a tone both admiring and exasperated

"Aren't you?" Anne asked

Gunn nodded, more to placate his girlfriend than out of sincerity. He tried to picture life with the sun coming out again. He tried to imagine all of them happy, him and Anne together, the world returned to normal. He couldn't. But he wouldn't need to he decided. He would save the world and he wouldn't have to picture happiness because he would be able to see it. At the very least Anne would be able to see it. Even if Gunn died he was determined to save the world for the woman he loved, to give her a chance to live the good life she had always tried so hard to.

He looked at his hand and swore.

…

Fred grinned when Wesley entered the room and her grin made him feel complete. His doubts and concerns melted away when he saw her. "Hey Fred," She held out a hand to him and he walked up to her and took it. He brought her knuckles to his lips. "How do you feel?"

Wesley sat down next to her and she leaned against him as she had before. He wished he could stay like this forever. "The memories make more sense."

He draped his arm over her shoulders. "Good, do you need me to explain anything?"

She shook her head. "Everything is still coming together. I remember some things clearer than others. I remember my parents, growing up in Texas. I remember the hotel. I remember kissing you. There are some things I don't want to remember. There's a cave in the woods and a barn where they chain me up." Wesley felt a chill travel down his spine. "There's a slug from a bad place drinking all the water out of me. There's you leaving. I don't know if I want these memories back but if I have to have them to get the other ones it's worth it."

Wesley felt fear overtake him. What if she hated him when she better remembered why he left? When they'd started dating they were all still under the influence of Angel's memory spell. What if she couldn't forgive him? What if she couldn't love him again? Wesley knew he would just have to accept that. There could be no pretense with her. "I left because I did a bad thing. Maybe when you remember you won't want me to come by anymore."

"I remember." Fred said "I remember everything. It's all jumbled up, but it's all there. It comes together faster now. The more pieces that are together the easier it is for the others to find the way. I remember Conner. I remember what you did." Wesley waited for the disapproval. "I still love you." She said simply

Wesley's head spun. She loved him. She knew what he had done and she loved him anyway. He wanted to kiss her, to feel her; but he couldn't, for fear of starting something. "I love you too." Wesley said and saying it felt so good, like setting down a heavy weight

"You said you loved me before you knew me."

"I remember." He did. He's been crying and he could feel himself breaking inside as she slipped away like fine sand running through one's fingers. He couldn't hold her.

"What did you mean?"

What had he meant? The words had felt so natural in their truth, he hadn't needed to think about them. Now he did. "I thought we were soul mates." He felt corny when he said it.

"You don't anymore?" Well the truth was out there and he had to own up to it.

"I still do."

"Even though my soul's all broke up?"

"You'll fix it." He kissed the crown of her head. "I know you will."

"What if I can't?" He wanted to take away the worry he heard in her voice.

"Nothing in the world can stop me from loving you. I'll love you until the day I die." He considered this. "And after. I'll love you no matter what happens to you."

She looked up and kissed him as she had the last time he was there. "I need you to do something for me." She stared into his eyes with her own and he saw lucidity.

"Anything," He spoke without thinking

She kissed him again. She intermingled her lips with his. "I need you." She pulled him closer to her. "I need you to make me warm. I can't be better until I stop being cold. I need to be warm and I need it to be you." Her kisses grew more passionate. "I need that memory."

"Fred I can't." Wesley protested weakly "I can't take advantage of you like that."

"It's not taking advantage, I'm asking you to." She sounded so lucid. "I need this. I need to be warm. The cold is freezing up my bones, slowing the pieces down. My blood's all chilly and I need it to be warm and carry the warmth to my mind and heart. The pieces will be free then, they'll all come back together. I know it sounds crazy." She gripped either side of his face and kissed still more passionately. He fell back onto the bed. "Please do this for me."

He gripped her hands gently and pushed her up, sitting up himself. With his right hand he cupped her cheek and faced her towards him. He stared deep into her eyes. She was calm and she was sane, but when he looked deeper he saw she was right. There was something frozen inside of her. "Are you sure?" He asked "Are you sure it will work?"

"I need you to help me find out."

So he did.

…

Faith didn't know what to do, she was lost. When she was alone, Wilkins came and found her. When she went to a new place he just kept finding her again. But she didn't want to be near anybody, didn't want to talk to anybody. A thought occurred to her. Buffy was still with Angel, their room should be empty except for Fred and Fred probably wouldn't say anything unless Faith initiated conversation. Wilkins still probably wouldn't appear with Fred in the room. Faith was encouraged by this idea and headed toward her room, just glad to finally have a destination after a day (or so, time was hard to keep track of with no sun) of aimless wandering. Maybe she could finally get some sleep. Faith approached her door and stopped, her still hand on the door knob. There were noises coming from the other side of the door, the sound of heavy breathing.

"Animals," She jumped as Wilkins appeared next to her.

"Go away," She pleaded "Please just go away."

"But I'm your only friend. It's clear that Angel doesn't care, he never even asked you how you were, he's too busy taking care of Buffy. He's probably taking advantage of her right now in the same way your 'friend' Wesley is taking advantage of this poor girl. It just goes to show there's no such thing as noble intentions anymore."

"Shut up," Faith's hand slipped off the door knob. "You don't have- shut up."

"Faith I'm the only one who even tried to check on you."

"Xander-" Wilkins cut her off with a knowing look. No, Xander didn't care, he just wanted to make sure she wasn't going to sneak up on him while he slept and slit his throat. They all hated her. They all wanted her dead. Faith shook her head. "What are you doing to me?"

"Me?" Wilkins nodded to the door. "I'm not the one hurting poor defenseless insane girls; not like your buddies Wesley and Angel. I'm sorry, did you think they cared for you?" He shook his head. "You would think a little appreciation at least, for saving their lives. No Faith, you're tarnished goods. They'll never care for you. The only ones they show kindness to are those who have the thing they want, the thing all men want, and yours has gone bad."

Faith recoiled in horror. "No," She said "That's disgusting."

"It is." He said emphatically "It surely is. They're disgusting, these men you thought were your friends. You would fight for them, die for them even, and this is what they are." He pointed at the door. "They're just animals, like all humans. But you're something else."

"I'm not a demon." Faith insisted

"No, you're a slayer." Wilkins said

Faith heard a gasp and looked past Wilkins to see Buffy. She was staring in horror and anger at- Faith jumped backwards. Wilkins was gone, in his place stood the Wolf. It had always been the Wolf. In a way it was almost a relief, in another it was a fearsome horror. The Wolf reached out and touched Faith's hair. "You're my special girl." The Wolf vanished. Buffy was staring at Faith, the unsaid accusation all too clear. Faith looked from her to the door. She couldn't handle this. Wesley turning out to be as bad as any of them, Buffy thinking she was a traitor. Faith ran. She came so close to going outside, to leaving the sanctuary, but in the end she ran into the kitchen cupboard and lay down on the ground, sobbing.


	17. Consequences

Faith sat against the wall, hugging her knees tightly to her chest. She was surrounded by shelves and aluminum cans. They were the best company she'd had in a while. Her head lay against her right shoulder and she stared at the label on a can of pinto beans. She could read the nutritional facts even from the other side of the large pantry despite the dim lighting with her enhanced slayer eyesight. The door to the pantry opened. "Go away," Her voice was full of venom. Wesley stood in the doorway, blocking some but not all of the light the open door let in.

"I'm not going anywhere." Wesley stated simply

"I hate you." Faith said those words as cruelly as she could. "I think you're disgusting."

"You're angry."

Still facing away from him she rolled her eyes. "No shit Sherlock. Wow I can't believe the watcher's council fired a perceptive genius like you. What were they thinking?"

"Keep going," Wesley requested

"What?"

"I want to talk to you. You obviously have a lot of mean things you want to say, so go ahead and say them so we can proceed with this conversation."

"Don't you dare talk like you're better than me." Faith was enraged. She kept the volume of her voice down, but the hatred and fury were all too clear. "I know what you did."

"I'm not better than you Faith, I know that. I'm probably not even as good as you. As for 'what I did', I assume you're angry because I slept with Fred."

"You took advantage of a girl who's _insane_." Faith accused "That's sick. I thought you were my friend. I cared about you and you go and do something that twisted and wrong."

"I am your friend." Wesley insisted "And Fred's not insane."

Faith rolled her eyes again. "I thought you cared about her. I thought you really wanted to help her, thought it was sweet. I didn't know you just wanted to fuck her."

Wesley flinched, she'd finally ruffled him. Good, she was getting sick of his calm demeanor. "That's not what happened. I do want to help Fred. I did help Fred."

"By having sex with her?"

"In a roundabout way," Wesley said "Faith I want to explain." He started to walk over.

"If you sit down next to me I'll show you just how easy I was going on you the last time I tortured you." Wesley backed up. "Keep going," She said "I don't want you here."

Wesley sighed. "I'm sorry if I hurt you Faith-"

"Shut up!" Wesley jumped. "You didn't hurt me! You can't hurt me! You have no power over me!" Faith shouted "I could kill you with so little effort, and you think you can hurt me?"

Wesley backed up a little more. "Faith I care about you-"

"Liar," She spat out the word like spoiled milk. "Just being near you makes me sick. You do that horrible thing and Buffy looks at _me _like _I'm_ evil. It's not fair."

"No it's not." Wesley agreed "But neither is you refusing to let me account for myself. I would give you the benefit of the doubt. I _did_ give you the benefit of the doubt. I told Buffy there's no way you were collaborating with the Wolf. I told her whatever the Wolf said to you was probably cruel and intended to psychologically torture you. It looks like it's working."

"You think you're so smart." Faith said "You think you know things-"

After so many interruptions by Faith Wesley finally returned the favor. "I've been there."

She snorted derisively. "Right, now you empathize with me and we bond over our shared trauma, no thanks. I don't want to have anything in common with you. I don't even want to_ know_ you. Get away from me and stay away from me." She still refused to look at him.

Wesley knew that part of her reaction was the Wolf's manipulation, but her feeling of being betrayed was genuine, if exacerbated. Pointing out that her emotions were being toyed with would just further piss her off. He stuck with his initial strategy. "Just let me explain."

Faith shook her head, then stopped when an idea hit. "Here's the deal. You tell me your story. When you're done if I'm not convinced you didn't totally take advantage of Fred you leave. If you agree and don't keep up your end, I break you. Deal?"

Wesley nodded, then realized she still wasn't looking at him. "That's all I want."

"For me to break you?" Faith asked mockingly

Wesley ignored her prodding. "I died. It's natural I suppose- well not always- but it's a part of our core design. All humans die, it's how we are able to live. So as painful and difficult as it was, the process was- not familiar- but in a way it was. I was doing what thousands of my ancestors had done and my body knew what it was supposed to do. Things began to shut down, parts of me that I need left." Wesley hoped she saw how sincere he was being.

"What came next was different." This was the hard part. How do you explain death to someone who has never felt it? As a slayer he thought she might understand better than most, but that was still not a great depth of understanding. "This plane is not meant for the dead. It is unnatural for us- them- to be here. Yet I was bound here. I tried to do what was natural, I tried to cross over. I was tied to the earth, forced to stay where I had no business being. I began to fade away. Little things kept me here, reminded me who I was. In this realm it is the brain that holds our thoughts, and without one my mind began to slip away piece by piece. In other worlds these things are not issues, but here it is. I was dying again, every day, in a most unnatural way." Faith was beginning to look impatient but Wesley didn't let that bother him.

"So when I came back, I found I had forgotten what it was to live. All the things that had slipped away came back, and it was too much. Sounds, colors, people, there were things I never thought of before hitting me with the force of a bulldozer. The subtle pull of gravity, which I never gave much thought to before was a totally new experience. I felt it with as great an intensity as you feel when someone punches you." He remembered she was the slayer. "Greater intensity. I felt everything with just such an intensity. Do you realize how hard it is to be a part of the world when everything is so… distracting?" It wasn't the right word, but the right word didn't exist in the vocabulary of the living and it was close enough. Faith didn't answer.

"I needed a connection. Then the memories hit." Faith winced. "I tried to help. I focused on researching the senior partners and on helping Fred." Faith snorted again, but didn't say anything. "The thing I didn't realize is that although what we were going through was very different they were very similar. I kept slipping inside myself, trying to piece together who I was- am. She was doing the same thing, but to a greater extent. She couldn't stay attached to the world when everything yanked her back inside to try to stitch together memories. It was a million times worse for her because she was in pieces and they at least brought me back complete. So she asked me for a connection to the world and I wasn't going to deny her that. She asked me for an experience, one she could be a part of, not just look back on. She asked me for interaction and I gave her that. I gave her what she asked me for. I didn't take advantage of her."

Faith waited, but Wesley was finished. "So whose idea was the screwing? You know as far as I can tell you haven't explained anything but a bunch of philosophical mumbo-jumbo."

Wesley shrugged. "So hit me, because I'm not going anywhere until I hear your story. I told you my end of things, I told you what I didn't want to tell anybody and don't think I should have had to, in order to earn your trust back. Now tell me what the Wolf did to you."

Faith scowled. She finally turned to look at him and she felt something like getting her hand unexpectedly shoved in a bucket of ice. She wasn't sure what she expected to see, but somehow what she saw didn't jive with it. Wesley looked so worried. He was worried about her she realized. "Oh God Wes, I'm so scared. Why did she pick me? Is it because I'm bad?"

Wesley shook his head. "The opposite, I promise."

Faith stood up, agitated. "She played me." One at a time the realizations hit her. "She made me think Xander suspected me. She made me think all of you hated me. She-" Faith couldn't finish. She didn't want to reveal the other horrors the Wolf had put in her mind.

Wesley reached out to touch her shoulder, she let him. "I know, she did the same things to me. She told me things about myself. She made me believe things, terrible things."

"She was trying to turn me into a monster, she was trying to turn me back."

Wesley shivered at the similarities between Faith's fear and Fred's. "You're never going back." He promised "I'm not going to lie to you and say the past doesn't matter, but it is in the past. I let you down as a watcher, but if you let me I'll make up for it. I'll watch you Faith, together we can stop her from hurting you again." He squeezed her shoulder and she met his blue eyes with her brown ones. "Do you trust me?"

She nodded. "Okay, I'll tell you what happened." They sat down and in detail she told him about her conversations with the Wolf. She told him about the broken device and the sleepless wandering. She told him everything. She told him about her emotions, the real ones, the ones the Wolf magiced into her head, the ones the Wolf planted there with words instead of charms, and the ones she wasn't sure which category they fell into. It was an emotionally draining process for the both of them. Wesley never let his calm façade crack. He held her when she needed to cry and he talked her through the stuff the wolf had said. He didn't reveal the terrible guilt he felt for not noticing what she was going through before. When she was done he had all the pieces he needed to figure out the Wolf's plan. But there was one more thing disturbing Faith. "I don't hate you Wesley. I do still want to be your friend."

"I'll always be your friend." He promised "I need you to wait here."

"Because you want me out of sight until Buffy doesn't think I'm the traitor anymore?"

Wesley confirmed her suspicion. "You didn't do anything wrong, I don't want you to feel like you're being punished. However with the Wolf able to subtly influence our emotions it isn't safe for you until Buffy knows the whole story. It will sound better if you're elsewhere."

"It's all right." Faith said "I like it here."

Wesley gave her a sad smile and left the pantry. He leaned against the kitchen wall and let out a deep breath. "Time to go to work."

…

Nina couldn't see very well, her sight was limited to hazy shapes with muted hues. Yet she still recognized Oz. She smiled. "I'm dying." She said "Isn't that strange?" She heard his voice, but couldn't make out the words. "How odd, that I should die now."

Oz picked up Nina's burning hand, but she didn't seem to feel it. "Is she really, dying that is?" He asked Willow in the quietest voice he could muster, which was quite low

Willow shook her head. "I can save her Oz, it will take time, but I can do it. The wolf, it's fighting her. It wants to hurt her, this isn't typical for lycanthropism."

"So the Wolf is doing this?" Oz asked, fists clenched

Willow nodded. "I don't know why, but yeah. There's no other reason for this to be happening. It probably ties into the Wolf's master plan, everyone else is at the big meeting right now, trying to figure out what it is." Willow put her healing hands on Nina's fiery brow.

"I'm sorry to keep you away."

Willow shook her head. "This is more important."

Oz looked at his shoes. "I love her." He said simply

"I'm glad." She wasn't though. Willow wanted Oz to be happy, she wished he loved a healthy girl who wouldn't break his heart by dying. Willow figured she's broken it enough already. "She loves you to, and when she gets better she'll tell you."

Oz shook his head. "I let her down."

"We always hurt the ones we love." Willow said, thinking of Tara

"Yeah, I remember." Willow couldn't tell if he was talking about her or himself when he said that, it took her a while to realize he was talking about both of them.

…

"He did what?!" Gunn clenched his fists so hard his palms were bruising.

"Can we focus on the bigger picture at hand?" Buffy asked "Faith is a traitor."

"We don't know that." Angel pointed out "We should talk to her."

"We could if she hadn't run off." Buffy looked around the room to gauge who all was on her side. Xander and Kennedy were of course. Kate also seemed to agree with Buffy's line of thinking. Gunn was to upset about the other part of Buffy's disclosure to really weigh in on the matter. Surprisingly Spike seemed to be in the same boat, he looked pissed. Angel and Conner both seemed willing to defend Faith. Anne, Lorne, and Teresa looked unsure. Harmony just looked bored. Buffy briefly wondered why she was here. "She got caught and she's hiding."

"I can't believe he did that!" Gunn shouted "It's twisted."

"Oh my God!" Buffy complained "Would you shut up already about your ex-girlfriend's sex life? We have other issues! End of the world. Death and destruction. Ring any bells?" Buffy and Gunn glared at each other until he backed down. "We need to find her."

"I'm still not convinced we have the whole picture." Angel said "It seems to me you didn't really see what happened, only the end of it. I just can't see Faith betraying us."

"Like we didn't see Anne betraying us?" Kate asked

Anne gasped and Gunn whirled around, distracted from the Fred topic for a moment. "I make it a point not to hit girls, but you're begging pretty hard for an exception."

Kate shrugged. "I'm not trying to bring up bad memories, or hurt anyone's feelings, I just don't want us to get caught by surprise again. I don't really know Faith, but if she met with the Wolf it seems to me a pretty good indicator something's up." She avoided Anne's eyes.

Spike nodded. "She's right, seems we need to ask the rogue slayer some questions."

Angel frowned. "Guys I think we're all being a little overemotional-"

"I don't." Buffy snapped "If I remember correctly you didn't think you were fit to lead, so why are you still acting like you're in charge?"

Conner flinched and Angel gaped. "Buffy…"

She ignored him. "Xander, Spike, search the east wing. Kate, Kennedy, search the west wing. Find Faith and bring her to me."

The four nodded and left. "You sound like a despot." Conner said

"Shut up." Buffy snapped again "Just because you're Angel's son don't expect special treatment from me. Things are going to change around here. No more defensive plays, this bitch is going down, starting with her spy. Either help or go."

Conner looked at Angel and Angel gave him a small nod. "Okay," Conner said "I'll take Harmony." He gestured for the woman to follow him. "I'll check the basement."

"Buffy," Angel said softly "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," She said haughtily "Better than. I'm done being a pathetic little girl. I don't need you to hold me anymore. I'm taking charge. This ends now."

Angel nodded. Something was wrong, he could feel it. "I'll take Lorne and Teresa and we'll start going door to door." He gave them a meaningful look and the three departed.

Buffy frowned, then shook her head. "You two with me." She pointed at Gunn and Anne.

Gunn opened his mouth to argue, changed his mind, and then followed the slayer. They were a few minutes into their search when they saw Wesley coming toward them. Gunn felt an unbidden burst of rage fill him. He walked up to the Englishman and slugged him in the jaw.

"Charles!" Anne cried, shocked "What are you doing?"

"Ow!" Wesley clutched the side of his face. He was in pain, but oddly it wasn't so bad. It almost felt good to feel pain again instead of just remembering it.

Buffy stood back, watching.

"You are one perverted freak you know that?" Gunn asked

Wesley rubbed his jaw. "That was unnecessary."

Anne smacked her boyfriend in the shoulder. "Yes it was!"

Buffy was still standing back watching, but she wasn't watching them. She was watching Giles shake his head while he cleaned his glasses. He was standing behind Wesley, but Anne and Gunn didn't see him. He looked through his glasses before putting them back on. 'He knows' He mouthed, pointing at Wesley

"I'm sure you have a very low opinion of me right now." Wesley said "But there are more important things going on. The Wolf is here, in disguise."

"How do you know that?" Buffy asked in a sharp voice

"Trust me-"

"I don't." She said "Try again."

"The Wolf came to Faith in the form of the mayor-"

"Where is she?" Buffy cut him off

Wesley shook his head. "What will you do if I tell you?"

Buffy grabbed her former watcher by the collar and threw him against the wall. "The question you should be asking yourself is what I'll do if you don't."

Wesley chuckled. "Do you really think I'm afraid to die?"

"Something tells me you won't stick around this time." Buffy said

A gasp from the other end of the hall caught all their attentions. Fred stood there, her eyes bugged out with shock. "What happened?"

"It's a long story." Wesley said as Buffy tightened her grip on him. "Do you remember what you saved us from when your parents came to visit?" Fred nodded. "If you'd do me a favor, go where they would hide and keep what you find there hidden from everyone."

Fred rushed off, away from them. "Fred wait!" Gunn ran after her and Anne followed.

"Looks like it's just you and me." Buffy said menacingly

"Buffy," She lifted him off the ground, still pressing him against the wall. "You're being affected by the Wolf. She's growing stronger. She tried to manipulate Faith and now she's moved on to you. She wants us to kill each other and release the magic that protects this place."

"Is that right?" Buffy said in a mocking tone "All the more reason to lock up Faith."

"Buffy you don't really think Faith's a traitor. You wouldn't have brought her here if you did. You trust Faith. The Wolf is playing on your insecurities, bringing up old wounds."

"Like the time she shot my boyfriend?" Buffy asked, shaking the ex-watcher

"Yes," he said "You trust Faith, please believe me."

"You know what I think?" Buffy asked "I think you haven't changed a bit. You're just as incompetent, just as _stupid_, and just as pathetic as you were in Sunnydale. I bet Angel just kept you around to distract the bad guys with your bumbling antics."

"Okay," Wesley said, unaffected by her words "But will you put me down?"

Giles walked up to stand at Buffy's right. "He's trying to trick you Buffy."

"Buffy listen to me, that isn't Giles. Giles is in London."

Giles laughed. "London, how ridiculous, I'm always by your side Buffy. He tried to get rid of me in Sunnydale but I stood by your side. He's a coward and a rat. He finked on us to the council." Giles leaned against the wall crossing his arms over his chest. "He and Faith were in on it together. She shot Angel, Wesley prevented us from finding the cure."

"That isn't what happ-" Buffy silenced Wesley by punching him in the throat.

Giles sighed. "This is all very tedious. You need to find Faith."

Buffy nodded. "Where is she? Where's Faith?"

Wesley shook his head, gasping for breath. "You left Giles in England. You didn't want to bring him somewhere so dangerous. You left him behind like you did Dawn."

Giles shook his head. "He threatened Dawn, are you going to let him do that?"

"I didn't-"

Buffy punched Wesley in the jaw, right where Gunn had punched him earlier. It hurt a lot more coming from a slayer. "Shut up. Where's Faith?"

"You'll kill her." Wesley licked his split lip and tasted the salty flavor of blood.

"Maybe,"

"We'll all die if you kill her Buffy."

"Same holds if I kill you right?"

"It'll sit a lot better on my conscience." Wesley said "So that's an idle threat."

"I'm not going to kill you Wes." Buffy said "I'm going to make you tell me where Faith is." She dropped him to the ground and kicked him in the face.

Wesley felt his nose break. He chuckled. "I've been tortured by a slayer before, you're going to have to do a lot better than that."

Buffy reached down to drag him to his feet but felt a hand on her shoulder. She whirled around and stared at Kate. Kennedy was standing back, uncertain. Kate shook her head. "This isn't the way. We'll find her, but not like this."

Buffy shrugged her off. "Keep looking," She tried to turn her attention back to Wes but Kate grabbed her arm. Buffy shoved her back, causing the ex-cop to fall to the ground.

"Please Buffy, I know you don't know me, but I'm on your side."

Buffy laughed. "Really," She turned to look at Giles, probably to make a witty remark, but he was gone. She frowned. "But…"

"Buffy," Kennedy said cautiously "What's going on?"

Buffy shook her head. "I thought…" She looked at Wesley. "Why did I hit you?"

…

Faith rose quickly when she heard someone approach the door to the pantry. Fred rushed in, babbling. "Kitchens are the most common place to find rodent and insect infestations. There is an ample food supply and lots of dark places to hide, like behind the refrigerator and in the pantry. You wouldn't fit behind the refrigerator."

Faith blinked. "I didn't see any rats… or bugs." She looked around for some.

"No, they left, years ago." Fred took Faith's hand. "They're coming for you."

Faith looked the woman up and down. Was she sane? Faith wasn't sure. On the one hand there was the babbling, but maybe it made a sense Faith couldn't see. As for the people coming for her, Faith had no trouble believing that. But she had to know, once and for all. "Fred,"

"Yes Faith?" Fred asked, polite as you please

"Did you ask Wesley to sleep with you or did he ask you?"

"I asked him." Fred said without shame "I needed something."

"Did you get it?"

Fred nodded. "I remembered, but I wasn't here, I was there. Now I'm here."

Faith pretended to understand. "Okay,"

"Evil things are coming for you, like they did for me. I'll protect you."

Faith looked at her skeptically. "No offense, but I'm a slayer. How are _you_ going to protect _me_? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

Fred shrugged. "Things aren't always the way they should be, or the way they are supposed to be. I shouldn't have died, I wasn't supposed to come back. Both happened. All I know is that I have to keep you safe." They heard voices I the kitchen.

Fred and Faith crouched down at the other end of the pantry. The door opened to reveal Gunn, Anne hanging back behind him. "I was there to you know." Gunn said, confusing Faith

Fred walked over to her ex-boyfriend. "Why'd you hit Wes?" She demanded

Gunn fidgeted uncomfortably. "He… um… took advantage of you."

"Right," Fred said "Well listen to me Charles Gunn. I am not your daughter, your sister, nor your girlfriend. I'm not a child. I am an adult and I can have sex with whoever I want. You have no right to judge me for that." Fred glared at him accusingly

"I'm not judging you." Gunn quickly denied "I don't think _you_ did anything wrong."

"You just don't think I'm mentally sound enough to have sex. That's not much better, in fact it's worse. Was one of the conditions of bringing me back that I be frail and pure?"

Gunn shook his head. "Fred you're-were- I mean- Fred you couldn't even talk when you came back. You were completely unaware, a person can't… in that mental state…"

"My name is Fred Burkle. I was born in a small town you've never heard of in rural Texas. I went to school in L.A. where I was sent to a hell dimension for five years. You, Angel, Wes, and Lorne rescued me when you went there to save Cordelia." Fred took a deep breath, this next part was difficult. "I died. You all helped bring me back, and as much as I appreciate that it doesn't give you the right to dictate my behavior or tell me when I've recovered enough to make significant life decisions. Now, are you ready to admit you were wrong?"

Gunn fidgeted uncomfortably some more. Finally he nodded.

"Good, now I need your help hiding Faith."

Gunn nodded again. He looked over at Anne. "What do you need us to do?"

…

Conner hated vampires. Now he was working with one. Conner shook his head, no that wasn't right. The world wasn't black and white, there were good vampires. No, the thought came back in full force. All vampires were evil and needed to be eliminated. His father was good though. No, that's not your father, your father in human. Conner rubbed his temple.

"Are you okay?" Harmony asked

Stake her. Stake her. Conner blinked and nodded. "I've got a head-" Behind Harmony he saw her, his mother, the woman that had appeared to him before he murdered that young girl.

Darla smiled and held up a stake, she pointed to Harmony. 'Do it.' She mouthed

"Harmony let's check upstairs."

"But we're not done with the basement." Harmony said in her characteristic whine "She could still be down here." Her voice was so high pitched and annoying, Conner just wanted to rip out her vocal cords. He started breathing heavily. "Are you sick?" Harmony asked

"Shut up Harmony! Just-" Conner shook his head and ran upstairs.

Harmony followed and the two of them ran into Kennedy and Kate. "Good, you're both all right." Kate said "The Wolf is here implanting thoughts in our heads as well as impersonating people we know. Buffy wants us all together so we can make sure everyone's accounted for."

Conner nodded. "I saw her, she's down there."

"She is?" Asked Harmony "Why didn't I see her?"

"She was standing behind you." Conner explained

"Well why didn't you say anything?" Harmony huffed

Ignoring Harmony, Conner locked eyes with Kate. "She looked like my mother."

Kate reached out and brushed a lock of hair off his sweaty brow. "It's all right Conner, we can fix this." She gazed at him kindly, making him feel calmer and surer.

"Yeah, let's go meet up with the others."

…

"Well I'm just glad we realized what was going on before someone did something… rash." Angel said when Buffy and Wesley had finished explaining what was going on

"Right," Buffy blushed as she spoke. According to Wesley, getting her to murder Faith had probably been the Wolf's plan all along.

"So now we all get together?" Teresa asked

"Yep," Buffy said "The Wolf can't alienate and deceive us if we're all in one place."

"What about Faith?" Angel asked "Her too?"

Buffy nodded. "I'll even apologize." She promised

Later, looking back on the events that transpired in L.A. Buffy had a hard time remembering what happened after that. She had a vague recollection of seeing Anne, of getting her to send a message to Faith. She saw Faith, but it was actually the Wolf. There were other things, but it was all very fuzzy. She knew one thing. The Wolf led them all to that room. She herded them like animals. Even Wesley, who had been manipulated by her before, was deceived into entering that room. Buffy came to think of it as the killing room.

…

There was room for all of them to stand in their distinct groups, but only enough to keep them separated by a few meters. Gunn, Anne, Faith, and Fred stood in northwest corner of the room. In the northeast corner stood Conner, Harmony, Kennedy, and Kate. In the southeast corner were Oz, a fevered Nina and Willow. In the southwest were Buffy, Angel, Spike, Wesley, Lorne, and Teresa. Buffy moved toward Faith. Gunn stepped in front of the dark-haired slayer.

Angel could feel the rapid escalation coming. He looked at Wesley and saw it in his eyes as well. They had to stop this. Angel reached for Buffy's arm, but Spike shoved him back. "Keep away from the slayer now, she'd got business to handle."

"That'd be you." Buffy told Faith "So why not ditch the bodyguard and come out."

Fred stepped to the front of her group. Gunn tried to pull her behind him but she shook him off. "Buffy please think about this. You're being manipulated."

Buffy drew her knife and pointed it in Fred's direction. "Shut. Up."

Wesley stepped forward. "Buffy-" Spike grabbed him and put him in the chokehold while transforming into vamp face. "Now, now, slayer's busy. Wesley felt a fang touch his neck.

"Spike!" Angel was horrified. "What the hell?"

Conner took Kennedy by surprise by wrenching one arm behind her back and using his other hand to put a knife to her throat. "Everybody stop." He commanded

"Kennedy!" Willow cried out in desperation "Let her go!"

"Everybody calm down." Angel said softly "Spike, let go of Wes and Conner will let go of Kennedy." He looked at Conner and his son nodded.

"No deal," Buffy's voice was ice "Let Kennedy go first."

"That's hardly fair." Fred said "You grabbed Wesley first so you should be the first to let him go. Conner only grabbed Kennedy because you started this."

"And I'll finish it if I tell Spike to drain your boy toy." Buffy said "No skin off my bones, as far as I'm concerned he's one step above a rapist."

"Excuse me?" Fred was deeply offended by that implication.

Angel knew that under the influence of the Hart Buffy wouldn't see reason. Angel vamped out and grabbed Xander, mirroring Spike's earlier actions. "Now what?" He asked

Buffy grabbed Lorne and put a knife to his throat, eliciting a giggle from Fred. "That won't work on a Pylean." She said "You can take of his whole head and he'll be fine."

"But I'd prefer if you didn't." Lorne said nervously

Buffy shoved him away in disgust. "All I want is Faith."

"No." Anne said with a calm that implied more confidence than she actually had

Buffy nodded at Spike. The vampire bit into Wesley's throat. He couldn't stifle a cry of pain. Angel dropped Xander in shock. "Are you crazy?!" He hadn't actually believed she's do it, that it would get to this point. Free, Xander pulled out a knife and stabbed Angel in the chest. He knew it wouldn't kill him, but the wound was enough to distract him from stopping Spike.

Faith ran out to the middle of the room. "Okay!" She said "Okay,"

Spike dropped Wesley to the ground, he hadn't drank any of his blood, just bit him. Wes put his hand to the mark, disbelieving. Buffy approached Faith with her knife. Faith didn't look like she was going to put up much of a fight, but Buffy was weary. "Faith no!" Wesley shouted "Run!" He got to his feet, but Spike punched him in the face. Angel tackled Spike and soon the two vampires were engaged in battle.

"One more move from a single person in this room and I slit her throat!" Everyone stopped and stared at Conner. Kennedy's breaths were shallow. She stared at Willow. They locked eyes. Willow mentally ran through every spell she knew. How could she free her love?

"You know." Willow turned around to see the speaker, it was Tara.

"No," she whispered

"You let me die." Tara accused

"Willow it's the Wolf!" Angel shouted

"Don't kill her like you did me."

"Don't listen!" Angel begged

"What do you want me to do?" Tears ran from Willow's eyes.

"Let it out." Tara said

"I… no I can't. It's wrong."

"Please baby." Tara approached Willow and touched her hair. Willow shut her eyes. Tara moved her head forward and whispered in Willow's ear. "He's glad I died. He's glad you suffered after rejecting me. Make him suffer. Let it out."

Willow nodded. "Will," Xander said hesitantly

Willow moved almost too fast for the human eye to follow. She pointed a finger at Nina and there was a flash of yellow light. Nina was gone. The werewolf in front of them was massive, bigger than any they'd ever seen. In a single bound it had placed itself in front of Kate and in a second it had swung its paw and ripped out her throat. She didn't cut Kate's throat, she tore half of her neck off. Chunks of flesh hit the floor with loud plops and Kate didn't bleed, she gushed. Kate hit the ground. Her body was still as the blood pooled around her lifeless corpse.


	18. Pretty Women

Everyone reacted at the same time. Faith tackled the werewolf. Conner dropped Kennedy who ran to embrace her lover. Angel and Spike ran over to Kate. Fred rushed over to Wesley and pulled him toward the exit, following Gunn who was doing the same thing with Anne. Xander, Lorne, and Teresa rushed to the exit. Harmony backed away from the carnage, caught between Nina and a wall with no exit. Oz rushed over to where Faith and Nina were fighting. Buffy just stood, numb. Giles appeared next to her. "This is all your fault." He pulled off his glasses and sighed. "You are such a disappointment." He began to clean the glasses.

"What do I do?" She whispered

"Embrace what is inside of you. Kill the vampires, as is your destiny." He looked through the glasses, deemed them satisfactory, and returned them to his face.

"You want me to kill Angel and Spike?"

"Well you can lay them one more time if you like, but then yes, that's what I want."

"I can't." Buffy mewed "I can't." She began to cry.

"No matter, I have other things to attend to." Where Giles had stood the Wolf now stood, had always stood. She batted Nina aside, who transformed into a naked human woman in seconds. "Attention!" She said in a chipper voice "Attention please!" Seven zombie vampires entered the room, each carrying three innocents. "I have an announcement." She punched the ground and the walls fell down, the roof caved in. They were standing in a pile of rubble, alive only because the Wolf needed the slayers, so she had protected the room. "This is my house now." She flung her hand toward the innocents and each was covered in a series of shallow cuts.

Angel ran toward the Wolf, but Faith grabbed his arm. "She'll kill you in a moment."

"I will." The Wolf replied giddily "Now watch what I can do." She hit the ground again and wooden shrapnel flew around the room. Angel and Spike ducked to avoid it while the zombie vamps allowed themselves to be staked. As the dust piled up on the floor blood flew from the wounds of the innocent far too fast. The ground began to split.

Oz helped Nina to her feet. Harmony ran from the room. Kennedy tugged at Willow. The witch refused to move. Faith ran over to Willow and started to drag her from the room. Kennedy got the idea and helped. Angel ran over to Oz and helped him lead the weak Nina away. "Spike we've got to go!" Angel shouted "Come on!" The blond vamp left Kate.

The demonic energy began to warp the air around them, as it had at the hotel and when the Wolf had failed to make sure someone was dead during her earlier sacrifice attempt. The ground shook and the Wolf giggled. "Come on sis! Let's show these lower beings how to party!"

The remainder of the building fell apart. Angel could see everything that was happening from the yard of the abbey. There were no longer any walls to hide it. A coal black hand rose from the ground. A woman with shoulder length kinky black hair pulled herself from hell. The hem of her orange dress ended mid-thigh on the right and just below the knee on the left. Only the right side had a sleeve. Her eyes were the same pumpkin orange. Her lips were green. Her skin was so black she seemed to suck in the light. Like her sister the Ram was beautiful, but while the Wolf's beauty was misleading in its femininity there was nothing disarming about the Ram. She was terrifying in her allure. The Ram's form was also feminine, but her femininity was not accented by dimples and a charming grin. Instead the Ram sported muscular arms and legs, a taut stomach, an ample bosom, and a rigid spine. Her orange eyes absorbed not just the light of her surroundings, but the very images themselves. Everything around her grew dimmer as she walked by. Her sister generated light, the Ram sucked it back in. Yet that light did not disappear, it ran through her veins, strengthening her. She licked her green lips. "I'm hungry."

The Wolf ran up to her sister and threw her arms around her. "We will devour them all."

The Ram grinned. Her eyes burned like suns. "We will begin now." She walked over to Kate's dead body and straddled it, sitting on Kate's stomach. She reached inside the hole in Kate's throat with her left hand. She thrust her right hand through Kate's chest, shattering the breastbone to get to the heart. As the Ram pulled the bloody mass of Kate's heart out she reached down and snatched out the woman's lungs. The ram thrust her face into Kate's heart, devouring.

Angel saw it all. He was frozen in terror and disgust. He felt himself going hollow. He thought he might now know what Wesley had been talking about when he said he was fading away. That was how Angel was feeling now. He felt himself become disconnected from the scene that surrounded him, from the world that surrounded him. If the world had been tainted by such a vicious act, maybe they couldn't salvage it. Maybe it wasn't worth saving. He felt something pulling at him, but it was so far away. Spike stood frozen, Willow had cast some kind of spell on him to stop him from rushing back. Angel noted these things with a distant eye. It was over. They had lost. "Angel!" The voice was so distant, who was calling him?

"Come on Faith, we have to go."

"I'm not leaving him! Angel, come on!" Oh, Faith. He tried to save her. Had he? Angel felt strong hands pick him up and toss him away from the abbey. He hit the ground hard, facing the grey sky. The sun hadn't been out in so long. Not that it made much difference for him.

Her face appeared in his range of sight. She held out her hand. "Angel come on."

"Buffy," She was a vision, even wither her puffy eyes and shaking hands.

"Please get up." Angel reached for her hand and she pulled him to his feet. The world came rushing back in and they were running. They ran into an abandoned building and the second the last of them were over the threshold Angel felt the air take on a thicker quality. A green hue enveloped the room while silver sparkles glanced in the air. Willow was standing with her palms facing upward, chanting. They were all here, except for…

"Conner!" The loud noise in the silent room shook the assembled. "Where's my son?"

"He went to look for his family." Teresa said "He'll be back, though he won't have found them." Her shoulders sagged. "I saw him come back, blood on his hands. The Ram waited- I mean will wait- I'm not exactly…" She took a deep breath, holding in tears. "She kills them, and leaves the fresh bodies. He tries to save them, and the warm blood stains his fingertip-"

"Stop!" Buffy said "Please," She sunk to her knees.

"I don't even remember…" Xander was speaking. "How did we get there, in that room? I saw Anya, she told me-" He looked at Angel and leveled a finger at him. "She told me-" He dropped his hand and shook his head. "What's happening to me?"

"The same thing that happened to all of us." Faith said "The Wolf can read our minds, alter our emotions, and is stronger than all of us combined. Now the only place where she couldn't hurt us is theirs. Whatever protected us is gone."

"Because I killed Kate." Nina murmured as she pulled Oz's jacket tighter around herself

"That wasn't you." Oz said "That was the Wolf."

"That was me." Willow said having finished her chant "I let the wolf out."

"She tricked you." Buffy said "The same way she tricked me. Her powers-"

"I also have power!" Willow shouted "Why couldn't I use it to stop her?!"

"Enough," Wesley said "We need a plan."

The attention of everyone in the room turned to Angel, who was laughing. There was something frightening in it, something unhealthy. "A plan? For what, how to spend our last moments? Wes. It's over. Were done, beaten. We could barely hold our own against the Wolf and now this new… monster-" Angel shook his head. "It's over." He echoed

"No." Fred's voice was calm and firm. It was loud in the sense that she projected, but she didn't shout. She spoke and they listened. "No, I don't accept that."

"Doesn't make it any less true love." Spike's voice was hollow.

"So that's it?" She asked "You're just going to lie down and take it?" She walked around the room, looking at each of their faces in turn. Only Wesley and Faith could meet her gaze. "Is this what you brought me back for?" She asked as she stood in the middle of the room "To watch you give up?" Angel stared at the ground. "Angel, you're humanity's champion."

"I'm a demon." He said "I was created for evil."

"So was I." Said Faith "Did it for a while too. So what? So what if the big bad wants to use us? We've got free will. We decide how this ends and I'm not going down lying on my back." She approached Angel. "I'm taking this bitch down one way or another."

"We can't." Angel said "Don't you get that? They won."

"Who says?" Fred asked "Who says they win?"

"They won!" Spike snarled, loud enough to echo from the walls to the roof to the floor quite a few times. "They beat us! We're done!" He slammed his fist into the cement wall, hitting it until his knuckles bled and continuing well after. "It's," His knuckles shattered. "Over."

"No." Fred said "I just came back, I'm not going out like this. I'm going to see the sun again. I'm going to live again. I refuse to give up. I refuse to let all of you give up."

"There's nothing to give up." Spike said "There's nothing left."

"There's us." Harmony suggested

"Shut up Harmony." Spike snapped

"No." Fred said "Harmony's right."

"Yeah I am." Harmony said cheerfully "Thanks Fred."

Gunn stood up and clench his fists. "I don't care." He said "I don't care if we live or die, I just want to hurt them. I want to stop them, or at least slow them down. These bitches made our lives hell for years. They orchestrated all of this bullshit to take over the world and they fucked us to do it. Whatever my life should have been they fucked it up. They killed Fred and Wes, hell maybe they even killed Cordelia. Maybe they're responsible for Jasmine. I don't care, I want to take them down. So what if it's over, so what if we die? We take them down too."

Angel shook his head. "There's no point. If you feel like you have to die fighting I understand that. I respect that. But I'm done. I'm tired."

Buffy's head snapped up and she glared at Angel. "Boo. Fucking. Who." She approached him and then stopped only centimeters away. He could smell her breath, like berries; he could feel the heat of her anger. "You're tired? I'm tired. Every. Single. Day. I never get to rest. It's always Buffy the Vampire Slayer swooping in to save the day. Stop the master, stop Angelus, stop the mayor, stop the initiative, stop Glory, stop the trio, stop the first. They never let up, they never let me rest. There's nothing I haven't had to put up with. I should be loving life, out there hitting the clubs, knocking a few back with Willow and Xander. I can't. I have to be a mom to Dawn. I have to watch over the slayers. I have to save the world. Again. I don't care if you're tired. I gave up my life, my future, for this world. It's not going to be destroyed. I'm going to save the day and you're going to help. Okay prophecy boy?"

Angel didn't know what to say, so he let instinct take over. He kissed her. Her lips were warm, inviting. She kissed him back, the desire clearly there. But she only let it go on for a few moments, a few too brief moments that Angel wanted to spend an eternity in.

"Do we all get to kiss Buffy if we agree to help save the world?" Spike asked

…

"That should hold." Wesley said

Willow let go of Buffy's and Kennedy's hands. She was drawing on the power of the slayer to reinforce the magic forming the boundary around the abandoned industrial building they had claimed. Wesley had told her the essence of the Hart was their most effective weapon against the partners. Willow didn't like using their power, but she was glad they had a way to defend themselves. "I'm going to get some sleep while things are quiet. I'll need to monitor this if they show up and try to get through." She looked at Kennedy. "You'll wake me?"

Kennedy nodded. Willow rubbed her eyes and headed for a corner of the building. It was odd how fast they had all adjusted to the green and silver air. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. Kennedy held vigil over the witch, Buffy just stared out the open door, waiting.

Wesley walked over to another corner. Faith was sitting cross-legged, leaning against the hard cement. She hardly even found such conditions uncomfortable anymore. Fred was leaning against Faith's boney but noticeably softer than cement shoulder, snoring. Wesley sat down next to Fred and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. Faith watched the love with which he performed the act, the happy way he soaked in the view of her face. "I asked her." Wesley looked up at Faith and she knew she didn't have to elaborate. Faith blushed. She wasn't embarrassed that they were talking about sex. Faith was anything but prudish. Her shame came from her mistrust of him. "I'm sorry. I know you're going to say a lot of what I felt was the Wolf, but some of it was me. I thought you did that terrible thing and I'm sorry."

"I forgive you." Wesley said "I'm glad actually, that you care so much."

Faith nodded. "I do, about both of you."

Wesley thought about that. "I want to ask you to do something for me."

"What is it?"

"Will you agree to do it before I tell you?"

Faith shook her head, a smile on her lips. "I know what you're going to say."

Wesley nodded, he would try anyway. "What you did back at the abbey, when you tried to save me. If it comes down to it, if you have to choose between living and saving me I want you to let me die." The idea of dying again scared him, but not as much as the idea of her death.

"I'm not going to promise that." Faith said "I'm not going to let you die again."

"You weren't there the first time, you couldn't have done anything."

"I'm here now." Faith said "I can do something now."

Wesley looked down at Fred again, at the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. "At least-"

Faith didn't let him finish. "I'll save her first." Faith promised

Wesley smiled at her. "Thanks,"

Faith chuckled.

"What?" Wesley asked, amused himself by her mirth

"I was just thinking about all of those little decisions you don't put a lot of thought into at the time which end up determining your future. I'm really glad I didn't kill you."

Wesley laughed with her. Fred stirred from her position leaning against Faith and they tried to quiet down to avoid waking her. "It would have been a shame."

"Angel probably wouldn't have gone so easy on me."

"There definitely wouldn't have been doughnuts."

"Doughnuts?" Faith asked, stifling more laughter

"You don't remember? I was quite angry about the doughnuts. The mercy thing I was fine with but the doughnuts pissed me off."

"I remember now." Faith said "If someone tortured me and got doughnuts I'd be pretty upset to. That's enough reason right there to turn them over to the watcher's council."

"If I was going to turn you in it wouldn't be to those gits. I'm not good enough to work for them? Who got blown up in their own headquarters?"

Faith laughed again. "Didn't that happen to you too?"

"Oh yeah," Wesley remembered the Angel investigations headquarters before the Hyperion and how a bomb had put an end to it. "I still feel like I won though."

"The new council is pretty cool. I give Buffy and Giles a hard time every now and then, keep them on their toes, but they do a good job. My place in Cleveland is pretty swell."

"Tell me about it." Wesley requested

"I've got twenty-three slayers in my care. Our facility is an old dance center Giles got cheap because it was possessed by evil spirits. One exorcism later we had the perfect front. What could be suspicious about a bunch of girls coming in and out of a dance center?" Faith went on about the building, how she had set it up, who her star pupils were, and what sorts of demonic activity they handled. She got more excited as she went on, remembering how much she had accomplished in a year. As she told her story the Wolf's effects faded. Wesley thoroughly enjoyed listening to her. He liked hearing about something good, a life that turned out well

"You look tired." Faith said when she finished relating the take down of a slime demon.

"I guess I am." Wesley said

"Get some sleep." Faith commanded "Things might not be this quiet again."

Wesley didn't see the point in arguing so he leaned against the hard, cold walls and found it surprisingly easy to fall asleep. Faith waited until she was sure he was out and gently transferred Fred's weight off her shoulder, leaning the woman against Wesley. Faith stood up and stretched. Her lower back and shoulder were aching. She walked around the room to try and loosen up. Thinking about Cleveland, about Robin, it had been bittersweet. On the plus side she was now cleansed of any residual effects of the Wolf's influence, but she missed her boyfriend so much now. Faith looked around the room. Kennedy and Willow were sleeping in each other's arms. Gunn and Anne were in a similar position. Nina had managed to cobble together an outfit from other people's spare clothes and she lay on the ground asleep. Oz was holding her hand and stroking her golden hair. Teresa was asleep with her head in Lorne's lap while he stared at nothing, thinking. Spike and Harmony were making out in the darkest corner of the room, which both surprised Faith and surprised her by being surprising. Angel and Buffy were keeping watch, clutching each other's hands like it was their only lifeline. Angel waited for his son to return, with each passing moment imagining another horrible scenario. Buffy was waiting for the monsters, waiting for the inevitable fight. Faith was glad they had each other for comfort.

"The ants go marching two by two ha ra, ha ra." Xander said in a monotone.

Faith looked behind her and there he was, staring at the pairs, his face unreadable. "Are you okay Xander?" Faith asked, knowing he wasn't and hadn't been for awhile

Xander shook his head, unable to pretend anymore. "Is it nice, knowing you have someone waiting for you, or does it just eat you up how you'll tear him apart when you don't come back?" He looked thoughtful, like this was an abstract question, a classroom hypothetical.

"Xander," Faith didn't know what to say, didn't know how to help.

"You're selfish you know." Faith wasn't sure what to make of that, but Xander wasn't done anyway. "You made him stay behind so you could have peace of mind, knowing that he's safe. Yet you deny him the same. You condemn him to mourn you forever."

Faith frowned. "I don't intend to die."

"Whatever," Xander said "You condemned him."

"Xander," Faith tried again "This isn't about me, it's about-"

"Don't." Xander paused. "Say her name. Don't say it."

"Okay," Faith said "I won't. I know you've been unhappy for a long time-"

"Look at them." Faith did, nobody was paying attention to their conversation, which she was thankful for. "They have each other, you have Robin."

"And you're alone." Faith finished for him

"I've been faking it for so long, I just don't see the point anymore. I do my job to the best of my ability. I follow Buffy's every order and I watch over my slayers. Every day or two I call Willow or she calls me. She tells me how the magic is going, how her slayers are doing, how her relationship with Kennedy is progressing. I lie. I tell her about the slayers I don't care about at all as though they were my family. I tell fake stories about trips to the local pub where I chat up the ladies and occasionally take one home. She laughs and jokingly calls me a dog. I've never been to the local pub. I know those slayers only as well as I have to in order to get my job done. I lie to spare her feelings so she doesn't know what I've become. I'm alone Faith. I'm alone and I'm bitter. I have nothing to go back to, nothing to fight for. I pretend for Willow and Buffy, to spare them pain or guilt. If it weren't for them I don't know if I'd even…" What? Get up every morning? Go on living? The possibilities were disturbing. "After Tara Willow lost it. All of her love for Tara turned to anger. I know how she felt, because I feel the same way. Except the only person I have to be angry at is myself. I killed the one I love."

"The first killed Anya." Faith contradicted, knowing it was pointless

"I wish I'd never met her."

"I don't think she did. I think she appreciated the humanity you gave her. I think she enjoyed the…" Inspiration struck. "Connection you provided her to the world."

Xander shook his head. "I killed her." He laughed bitterly. "It always ends like that, in some terrible way. Buffy rejected me. Cordelia rejected me and died. Willow went back to Oz and then turned into a lesbian. You tried to kill me mid-sexiness. I left Anya at the altar, hurt her so badly she returned to vengeance, and then she died. My life… I just suck."

"No Xander," Faith said "You stuck with the slayer, with your friends, with no powers or special abilities of your own. You helped save the world with your tenacity and ingenuity-"

"Tenacity?" Xander asked

"I'm dating a high school principle, I've met a few English teachers."

"Fair enough," Xander said "But Tenacity?"

"We're getting of topic."

"Sorry Shakespeare-"

Faith punched Xander playfully in the arm. "Shut up,"

They smiled at each other. "I keep waiting." Xander said

"Stop." She said "Because what you're waiting for isn't going to happen. You have to take the first step. If you don't want to get back out there, I understand, but at least talk to somebody. Tell Willow or Buffy what you're going through. If you're worried what they'll think call me." She saw his expression. "I'm serious. Call me. Anytime. Robin will think I have a secret lover and get all jealous. Then when I reveal the truth he'll feel so bad he'll cook _and_ do the dishes for a month." Faith saw him smile again. Good, he had a nice smile. "You need to work through this. Maybe ask Giles for a transfer, work with some people you know."

Xander shook his head. "Buffy needs me in Australia."

"I've got an idea." Faith teased "Have them send Andrew over there to keep you company." She chuckled at his expression of pure horror.

"Don't give Buffy any ideas! She's been trying to get rid of him for a year. She almost got him to move into his boyfriend's apartment but then they broke up. Apparently Andrew's clingy. Andrew clingy? You don't say. Also weird and annoying but I digress."

Faith stifled another laugh. "Wait, when did Andrew come out?"

Xander shrugged. "I don't like the twerp, I don't keep up on his social life."

Faith sighed, but it was one of those happy sighs. The Life-is-weird-and-annoying-and-we-live-in-it-and-t hat's-amazing sigh. "Let's live." Xander nodded. He pointed behind her. Faith turned around to see Buffy looking at her and biting her lip. "What's up B?"

"I want to apologize." Buffy said "I tried to kill you."

"That was the Wolf." Faith said

"No, that won't suffice. I need to apologize, please accept that."

Faith considered. "How about this. Now we're even. Scales are balanced, past is past, we both did things to each other and that's… all right."

Buffy took a moment to think. "Deal, we're even."

Angel shouted from over by the door. "Buffy get Willow!"

Buffy ran over to Willow and Kennedy. Faith and Xander ran over to Angel. Rushing toward their green sphere of protection was a bloody Conner.

…

Horrible laughter forced Gunn from his dream. It was a nightmare, full of accusations and painful wounds. Alonna had been there, and the doctor from Wolfram & Hart who had deceived him into smuggling Illyria's sarcophagus into the country. At first Gunn thought the sadistic laughter was part of the nightmare, but when he opened his eyes he saw the Wolf and the Ram in the doorway. Had they breached Willow's barrier? No, they weren't coming in.

Conner was on his hands and knees, panting. There was blood on his hands, some old, some acquired when they scraped the ground during his fall. The Wolf tittered. "Oh little boy you should have seen them bleed. 'Conner help us!' What was it the one girl said?"

"My brother's a superhero. He'll save us." The Ram answered in an even voice

Conner's hands clenched into fists. He shook with pain and rage. "Conner," Angel approached the boy warily. He placed a hand on his back and Conner jumped up, slapping the hand away. "Connor…" He didn't need to ask what happened.

"Are you a superhero Conner?" The Ram asked quietly

Conner cried out in Rage and ran for the doorway. He bounced off the barrier and landed hard on his tailbone. The Wolf and Ram laughed some more. The Wolf had a very girly laugh, but the Ram's laugh was deeper, coming from the diaphragm. She stared at the boy with her sunny eyes like he was a piece of meat. Angel wanted to throttle her. "Get away from here!"

The Ram continued to stare at Conner, but the Wolf turned to look at Angel. "We're your guests, don't be rude." She tittered some more. "Aren't you going to invite us in?" The Ram smiled at that, exciting her sister. "It's ironic, because he's a vampire."

"I got it the first time sister dear."

"Why did you design them like that, so that they had to be invited in?"

"It's symbolic, inviting evil into your hearth."

The Wolf shook her head. "Yours were so much better than mine. It's a difficult process, making a line. The Hart's was most impressive."

Gunn noticed that Buffy went stiff. The Ram snapped her eyes over to the slayer. "Yes Buffy, our partner created you. Not only that, she chose you, as she chose all of the slayers. She chose you special to serve a very different purpose than your predecessors. She allowed you to have and create what no slayer had been able to have before. She gave you a loving mother, a watcher who would care for you instead of treating you only as a tool. She allowed you to have friends. You were created to do what no other slayer before you could."

"What's that?" Buffy whispered

"The Hart and I are very different. I have no patience for virtue or heroics. She loves them. She likes to set um up and knock um down. I revel in depravity, but the Hart needs variance to salt her meat. She wanted you to be the best of all heroes. She wanted you to save the world. She wanted you to be heaven-sent. Only then could you clear the way for her. Only then could you set up the apocalypse. Such dramatics are futile to me, but matter a great deal to her."

"The Hart picks?" Buffy asked "She picks the slayers?"

The Ram nodded. "Every single one. She set each up to do great works and then destroyed them in the cruelest of possible ways." The Ram turned to Faith. "Your boyfriend's mother was one such canvas. She had finally accepted she could be both a mother and a slayer, finally learned to stop resenting her son. Then the Hart cruelly separated her from the boy."

Spike chuckled. "Liar, she did no such thing."

The Ram stared into the blond vampire. "You think you control your fate."

"Well yeah," Spike said "I do."

"You weren't meant to win that fight. The Hart affected the outcome."

"What are you talking about?" Gunn asked "What are you trying to accomplish? You can't hurt us in here." Gunn stood up and approached the barrier. "We'll find a way to beat you, and we've got all the time in the world, because you can't touch us."

The Wolf chuckled. "Not all the time. We're just waiting for the final piece."

"More slayers," Buffy whispered "You're waiting for reinforcements, so you'll have seven slayers for the sacrifice. You're just going to toy with us until then."

"Oh clever girl," The Wolf mocked "Thinks she's something special."

"She is." The Ram said "She ended the world." Sharing a laugh the Wolf and Ram walked away into the dark night. The pretty women left the heroes to their own devices, confident they would not be able to stop what had been set in motion long ago.

Gunn felt a glimmer of hope. "If we can stop any slayers from entering L.A. then the apocalypse can't happen. All we have to do is get a message to Buffy's group."

"It can't be done." Willow said "Travel through the L.A. border is one way until the senior partners are evicted. Anybody can get in, but nothing can get out."

"Maybe they won't send anyone." Harmony said cheerily

"Dawn and Giles would never abandon Buffy." Xander said "If we don't come back they'll send someone eventually."

"So we just have to stop the senior partners before that happens." Gunn insisted

"How?" Buffy asked "We don't have a plan. We don't have anything." Those of the group who were awake all looked at each other. No one had any ideas.

Conner walked up to the barrier and lay his hand against it. "I'm not."

"Conner," Angel said "Please talk to me."

"They're dead because of me. Everybody dies because of me. I should never have been born. I wasn't a miracle, I'm an abomination." Conner lay his head against the barrier.

"No, you're my son." Angel insisted

Conner slid to the ground. "I wish they'd killed me."

Gunn looked around the room. They needed some source of hope, something to remind them they still had a chance. Gunn looked at the silver sparkles in the air. He looked at Nina, lying on the ground. "We have one thing Buffy." He said

Buffy looked at Gunn while Angel tried to reach out to his son. "We have some of their power." He pointed toward Angel. "We have the Ram." He pointed to Nina. "The Wolf." He gestured to Buffy, Faith, and Kennedy in turn. "The Hart. We have their power, we can use it against them. We can find some sort of spell, something, and turn their power back on them."

"How?" Kennedy looked at Willow. "How do we do that?"

Willow shrugged. No one else had any more to say. "Everyone try to rest." Buffy said "In the morning we can try to figure this out. It's late and we all had a bad day."

"Bit of an understatement." Gunn mumbled, but he lay down next to Anne and tried to sleep. He was thankful the next morning that he either hadn't dreamed, or didn't remember them.


	19. Ruins

Wesley felt something soft and warm on his lips, pulling him from a deep sleep. He entered the realm between sleeping and wakefulness where reality is fluid. He looked at Fred, waking him with her warm kiss, like a fairy tale. How had he gotten to this wonderful point? He remembered her kissing him at work. 'Was that clear enough for you?' 'Not even close.' Was this the morning after that? The dreamy state dissipated to make way for the real world. He was in an abandoned industrial building with only a single spell protecting them from the wrath of ferocious demons while the woman he loved woke him with a kiss. So things weren't that bad.

Angel, Gunn, Buffy, Willow, and Faith were standing in a circle talking. Kennedy was watching the door, looking for signs that the Wolf or Ram were approaching. Conner was lying on the ground, asleep. Anne, Lorne, and Teresa were looking after him. Xander was asleep, he had probably just gotten of a watch shift. Oz was talking to Nina. Harmony was talking to Spike, they appeared to be arguing. Wesley locked eyes with Fred. "What did I miss?"

"Big meeting, I think Angel wanted to wake you but Faith told him not to."

"I suppose we should go over there."

"You go, I have to do something." Fred leaned in and kissed him again. He didn't want to leave this moment. He wanted to put it away in its own dimension where it would last forever and then live in that dimension. He pulled away from her, standing to head over to the meeting.

Buffy winced when she saw him approach and at first he couldn't figure out why. "How is your…?" Buffy pointed to her face.

Wesley reached up and touched his face, remembering the severe battering he'd taken yesterday. "Oh it's fine, doesn't hurt at all." Well it hadn't until he'd been reminded of it.

"I can heal that." Willow said

"I think it would be far wiser to focus your energies on us not dying horribly." He pointed at the air around them. "We don't know how long you'll have to keep this up."

"Not very," Willow said

Angel explained the visit from the Wolf and Ram last night, which Wesley was surprised he's slept through. He explained everything that had happened and how last night's conversation had ended. "We need a plan, and fast." Angel said "So far we have none."

Wesley frowned. His mind worked through the possibilities, discarding and retaining bits of information, forming an idea. "I have a possibility, but it's… unpleasant."

"We'll take what we can get." Buffy said

Wesley exhaled slowly, then explained his idea. He had barley finished when Willow cut in. "No, no way. We're not even considering that."

"Will-" Buffy tried to get a word in but was cut off.

"I won't let you even consider something like that. It's unacceptable."

Wesley tried to pacify her. "We'd need their permission for this to even be a possibility."

"It's not one." Willow said "I can't let you guys think of this."

"It's not just up to you." Gunn pointed out

"But I can stop you." Willow said "You'd need my help and even if you could find a way to fight them without me I could stop you. I won't let you do this."

"Okay," Angel said "That plan is out then. Does anybody else have an idea?"

"Is there a way?" Buffy asked "To do that without sacrificing someone?"

"No," Gunn answered for Wesley "It's like Pylea all over again. The only way to win is to suffer losses. There's no elegant solution here."

"There's another way." Willow said "We can't see it but there is. We can find a way to beat them without any more people dying. You all saw what happened to Kate, that can't happen again. There must be some spell, some weakness… No creature is invulnerable."

"We know their weakness." Wesley said calmly "They are tied to the earth. Those bonds are the only things strong enough to maybe choke them."

Willow stormed away from the group. They watched her walk over to Kennedy, who asked her girlfriend what was wrong and received no response. The remaining five all looked at each other. "I think it's a good plan." Buffy whispered so that they could barely hear

"Me to," Faith said "It's the only thing that might work."

"We need to ask them if they'd be willing." Angel said

"Without Willow finding out." Faith said

"I don't like deceiving her." Buffy said "Let's hold of for a little bit, weigh our options. If this is really our only shot Angel can talk to Nina, Willow won't suspect anything."

Upon unspoken agreement they split up. Angel walked over to his son and sat next to him. Buffy approached Willow and Kennedy. She apologized to Willow and hugged her best friend. Gunn walked toward the less populated section of the room and Anne saw him. She left Conner to walk over to her lover. Wesley walked back to where Fred was. Faith approached Xander to see if he was really asleep, and if not to see if he was okay.

Kennedy saw the Wolf and Ram approach, but before she had time to shout a warning darkness filled the room and nobody could see.

…

Angel grabbed his son's hand, not wanting to lose him in the dark. "Conner!" He shouted to rouse his son, but he couldn't hear himself. Angel tried to shout again, there was still no sound. Angel gave up and tugged at his son's hand. He felt the boy move, and made sure to maintain his grip while Conner sat up. He felt Conner try to tug his hand away and realized Conner had no way of knowing his father was the one who held him. Conner managed to break their grip, leaving Angel in what was essentially a vacuum. Angel reached out, feeling for anything or anyone. Then some of the darkness dissipated. Angel could see and hear everyone now, but it was clear they could not. The air was now dark green and wading through the darkness were Angel's friends, who were operating without sight or hearing.

"Hello! Is this a joke?" Harmony whined

"Willow I can feel you say something." Said Buffy

"Why won't anybody answer me?" Kennedy asked

"Kennedy? Buffy?" Willow said

"What's going on?" Conner shouted

This was going on around the whole room. The noise was deafening to Angel all though none of them could hear anything. Angel turned his gaze to the door, to the Wolf and Ram. "Is this your grand plan, blinding us?" The Ram shook her head. "What is this then?"

"Once," The Wolf explained "We offered you a choice, to serve us and help up bring about the apocalypse. You accepted that offer. You did not however, uphold your end."

"So my nomination for employee of the month is out?" Angel asked

The Ram grinned. "For a short span in our perception of time, but a great while in the understanding of lower beings you were a most pleasing disciple. You reveled in carnage and destruction. When the Hart asked me for one of my creations I knew you were the most worthy; that you would reflect well on me. We knew of the prophecy, and she wanted to… rig the results." The Ram pressed her hand against the barrier. "You and Buffy, chosen for this task."

"To end the world?" Angel whispered

The Ram nodded. "We created you, as we did her. We brought the two of you together to play your separate parts in bringing us over. Her part is done, yours is not. We have more work for you." The Ram pressed against the barrier. "Kill the witch."

Angel chuckled. "Just because you asked me to? No."

"We changed history." The Ram said "Do you want to see the real future?"

Angel thought about it. "It would be a lie."

"No, a display of our might. Come vampire, we will not force you to see what you do not wish to. We know you have often wondered about how fates might be different without you. We will show you the answer, show you a world where we did not tamper with your fate any more than we already had by creating the slayers, vampires, and werewolves. Do you wish to see?"

Angel knew he shouldn't, but he nodded.

Sunnydale. Angel was in the high school library. He remembered that library. Buffy was holding up a crossbow, pointing it at Angelus, who was holding Giles. Darla, Drusilla, and Spike were hanging out in the background. "Come on slayer, you protect the innocent, put it down."

"He knew what he was getting into." Buffy's voice was cold. "They'll send another."

"Pity," Angelus bit Giles, the man cried out in pain. Buffy shot the crossbow at Darla, but the vampire dodged the shot and snickered. She and Drusilla ran for Buffy. Buffy threw Drusilla toward an approaching Spike. She fought with Darla. Angel wanted to step in and help, but he wasn't there. Angelus was, draining Giles. The scene faded away.

"I'm told your last watcher was killed by the whirlwind gang. They are still active?"

It was still the library. Buffy was staring at the ground while Wesley talked to her. When she lifted her head to answer Angel saw a long scar ran the length of her neck. "Yes,"

"They're very competent, they've been around for hundreds of years, still I trust you'll be able to bring them down one way or another. Divide and conquer would be the proper strategy."

Buffy nodded. "Whatever you say."

"Drusilla is both their strength and weakness, she is psychic but very insane. Eliminating her will weaken them. If there were a way to separate her from the group that would be ideal."

"How do I do it?" Buffy said listlessly

"I'll come up with a plan. In the meantime, you'll need to train more."

"Of course," She put up no argument.

The scene faded once more. "You knew I'd be the one from the beginning didn't you slayer? You knew I'd drain you?" Angelus asked

"No," Buffy said, there was something different about her voice now. She sounded stronger, like the Buffy Angel knew. "I knew I was going to dust you and couldn't wait."

"Spike says slayer blood's like nothing else in the world."

"Come and get it big boy." Angelus rushed her and they appeared to be almost evenly matched. The fight was a frenzy, each giving far more thought to eliminating their opponent than self-preservation. Each was beaten and battered. Angel scratched Buffy over her right eye and blood dripped down her face. Buffy missed the heart, but staked his neck. Angel stumbled for a moment and when Buffy went in for the killing blow Angelus kicked her kneecap with such force Buffy screamed and fell to the ground. Angelus knelt down to drink the wounded slayer, but he underestimated her persistence. Buffy planted the stake in his chest and he dissolved into dust. Buffy collapsed over the small pile of dust, too hurt to rise.

A final scene transition. Buffy was sitting in a car with Spike. "I keep expecting you to decide I'm useless and stake me." Spike downed some liquor from a flask and passed it to Buffy.

She took a drink and shrugged, passing the flask back. "I like the company. My watcher's not the most sociable of fellows. Besides you have your uses. I can take on a lot more vamps with you backing me up. I'm more affective and you get to live, win/win."

"It's not just that." Spike said

"It's not?" Buffy asked as she picked up a pair of binoculars.

"For the first time since the initiative put that chip in my brain I have a purpose."

"A purpose?" Buffy put the binoculars down, false alarm.

"I need to go out, do things, kill things. You give me that."

"Good," Buffy said "Maybe even if that chip stops working you'll stick around. You might decide you like killing demons more than people."

"It's more of a challenge." Spike conceded

"Heads up." A cabal of vamps walked into view. Buffy and Spike exited the vehicle and set upon the vamps with a terrible fury. The scene faded.

Angel was in the dark. Everyone was still shouting and bumping around. "It was supposed to be him. Those gypsies, that girl, it was all your doing." Angel fell to his knees, unable to process this new information. "I was supposed to be a villain. You made me a hero because you didn't think I would do as good a job as him." He stared at the Ram.

They stood still and silent, allowing this new information to fill him. Angel put his hands to his head and squeezed, trying to keep his mind together as this new information threatened to tear it apart. Angel had believed himself to be a champion, chosen to do good. But evil chose him, in the belief that he would fail at the good he was meant to do. The curse had been their doing, one of many subtle influences they enacted to change the world, to clear the way for them.

"Show yourself!" Conner had a stake in his hand and was stumbling about, trying to find whatever demon was hiding in the darkness. Angel supposed in a roundabout way that was himself. Conner had never been meant to be born. Angel had never been meant to be either.

"I'm not the one." Angel said "The prophecy isn't about me."

"It is now." The Ram said "We made it so. Then we took the prophecy away."

"We would not have been able to do so with Spike." The Wolf said "Your propensity for self-flagellation made it easy to convince you to give up the one thing you wanted."

"But if I-" Angel's head was spinning. "If I weren't here, it wouldn't be about me. If it weren't for me the prophecy would be about Spike. He could have stopped you."

"In another world." The Ram said "But you're here, humanity's champion."

Angel looked over at Conner. "What if I died?" He had been set up to fail. He had been given somebody else's destiny, so that it wouldn't come to be. But if he were gone…

"You don't want to die Angel." The Ram said "You were never meant to be, but you are." Her terrible smile made him feel unclean, like ants were crawling under his skin. "Accept what you are. Join our side, do our will. You were created to do our will."

Angel looked at his hands. "You created me."

"Yes," The Ram said "Designed you, crafted you from mud."

"So it's kind of like you're my parents." Angel said, thoughts connecting in his mind

The Ram frowned. She shared a look with her sister. They were worried. "Such mortal concepts are meaningless to higher beings, and creations such as you."

Angel stood up and approached the barrier. "I believe you, when you say you created me, that I'm your evil progeny. I just don't care."

"How can you not care?" The Wolf demanded in fury "Your blood is evil!"

"I figure," Angel said "It doesn't matter where we come from. All that matters is who we are. It doesn't matter what people tell us we're going to be, all that matters is who we choose to be and what we choose to do. You created me to fail, but I figure I want to succeed. I guess what I'm saying is" Angel closed in on the barrier and leaned in close to the old ones. "Fuck off."

The Ram cried out with such a terrible fury is threw Angel back. The sound was like steel knives being thrown into the mind where they are twisted over and over. She hit the barrier as hard as she could and a flash of light filled the room, burning the darkness away and scorching their eyes. Angel put a hand in front of his face. "There will be no mercy for you vampire!"

They were gone, the room returned to normal, Willow's spell still in place. Angel stumbled to his feet and looked around the room. Everyone seemed a bit dazed. "What happened?" Spike asked "Were the crazy ladies here?"

Nobody was hurt and Angel was thankful for that. However Spike had just asked a loaded question. Should Angel tell him the truth about what the Wolf and Ram had said? He thought about their current circumstances. This news would just further upset everyone. Angel decided to keep it to himself. They had enough to worry about. Then darkness fell upon the room again and Angel realized he had damned them all. If he had just told Spike the truth, or started to he would be prepared for the senior partner's manipulation. Now it was too late and they were coming for the other vampire with a soul. There would be no mercy.

…

"They took your destiny from you." The Ram said

Spike stood there with his hands in his pockets, immobile. "I see that."

"They didn't allow you to take the place on the side of righteousness that had been saved for you. They didn't think you were good enough. Prove them right."

Spike didn't answer the Ram. He squeezed his eyes shut and thought about the things they had shown him. His relationship with Buffy… "She wasn't even there."

Spike didn't have to explain that he was talking about Willow. "No, we put her there."

"Xander, Giles, Joyce, Angel, she wasn't supposed to have them."

"No," The Ram said "You were supposed to be enough."

Spike shook his head. "No, I couldn't ever be. I can be something, but I couldn't take the place of all of those people. She was supposed to be lonely and miserable. You changed that."

"Aren't we nice?" The Wolf asked "Doing that for her,"

"Sure," Spike said "Except for destroying the world you're real nice ladies." Spike laughed. He reached in his pocket for the packet of cigarettes. "You really want me to join you?"

"Your Angel kept the truth from you. He concealed your destiny to hold onto his own."

Spike locked eyes with the Ram and considered this. Angel lied. Well maybe he had been about to tell the truth when the darkness descended. Spike wasn't an idiot, he knew this wasn't the case. Spike played with the thought in his mind. Angel's destiny was supposed to be his. He was supposed to be the vampire with a soul, Buffy was supposed to be his. "Thanks," Spike said

"Your thoughts are illogical." The Ram said "You think that you are glad not to have the fate of Angel because you do not like him. You are glad you don't have Buffy and glad that you are in your current miserable position. You think that if you had Angel's destiny you would be more similar to and this is not desirable to you. That makes no sense."

"Not to you." Spike said "You higher beings don't really get what makes us lower blokes tick." He inhaled deeply from a cigarette and looked at it. "We kill ourselves every day in a million little ways. Yet tell us we're about to die and we panic. Do you know why that is?"

"Lower beings are short-sighted and illogical." The Wolf said

"Sure," Spike said "But we don't think of ourselves as lower beings. You can't get past that mental block. You can't conceive of losing to us and because of that you don't think we really can either. You think you're so far above us and think we know it too, but we don't."

"Your stupidity is not an advantage." The Ram said "It does not aid you."

"Oh but it does pretty lady," Spike said "It really does."

"We will destroy you." She said "We will open you up and take out all the moving parts." Her sunny eyes bored into him, making him sweat. He tried to ignore it. "We cannot lose this fight. We will eat you and your friends when the time comes. Do you not realize this?"

"Nope," Spike said "That's while we'll win. We're stupid and we'll fight to live even when we're already dead." Spike pointed at himself and Angel. "Hell even the bloody ghost fought to live. That's some kind of stubbornness. You're screwed love."

The Wolf and Ram glared. "You are a fool." The Ram said "You will rue this day."

Spike nodded. "Okay,"

"You think we have exhausted our options." The Wolf said "There is a room full of corruptible souls in there. It only takes one to slaughter the witch."

Spike frowned. They were right, a room full of corruptible souls and one soulless vampire were at their disposal. Spike looked around at his blind companions. He looked at Angel. This was all his fault in a roundabout way, but Spike couldn't bring himself to be mad, not really. He'd been manipulated, he'd made mistakes, but he had been punished for those mistakes. When it counted he hadn't let the senior partners seduce him. What about the rest? What would they do? "They will kill her." The Ram answered his thoughts

"Then why are you still talking to me?"

In response another flash of blinding light hit the room. Everyone blinked. "Okay," Buffy said "What the hell is going on? What are they doing to us?"

Spike tried to get oriented. "Willow!" She looked at him. "Somebody here is going to kill you!" Her eyes widened. "Put another protection spell on yourself!" She didn't hear him. By the time the word another had left his lips the room was already in darkness. Spike stood still, mind operating at full speed. There was nothing he could do until the darkness left again. He waited and the moments seemed to stretch on forever. He waited for the blinding flash of light. Spike figured that since he hadn't moved he would still be facing Willow's direction when the darkness was gone. He would be able to make sure she was all right, of course if she wasn't he might never get to see. He might only be able to glimpse the Ram or Wolf in front of him, taking off his head. The moments continued to stretch. That was good right? Or was it bad… The blinding flash of light hit. Spike blinked once, twice. Willow was alive. But she wouldn't be for much longer if nothing was done about the wooden stake sticking out of her abdomen. Conner was standing over the witch and Kennedy grabbed him, throwing him against the barrier.

"You son of a bitch!" Kennedy started toward him. The Wolf and Ram laughed. Each put a hand against the barrier, waiting for the moment it weakened. Buffy knelt down next to Willow. Almost everyone was rushing towards the witch, but Spike was staying where he was, trying to figure this out. He locked eyes with Angel and then looked away, unable to suppress the flare of hatred he felt for his grandsire. Spike went over to the barrier where Kennedy was fighting with such intensity Spike was pretty sure she was going to kill Conner if she got the chance. Conner was doing his best to defend himself, but Kennedy had wrath on her side. Spike tried to grab the slayer but she swung a stake at him. "Stay back!" She warned him

Conner ran for the other end of the room, but Buffy stood up and knocked him down. "I will end you if you try to get up." She warned "Just stay where you are."

Kennedy hung back, not quite willing to take on Buffy. Spike walked over to the group surrounding Willow, but hung back, only observing. "Lift her legs." Wesley said with a quiet intensity "She needs to be elevated." Xander did his best to follow these instructions. Wesley tore some fabric from his shirt and pressed the edges of the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Can she heal herself?" Faith asked

"Willow," Wesley whispered "Can you hear me?"

She nodded.

"Can you breathe?" That seemed like an odd question to Spike

She nodded again.

Wesley picked up her hand and moved it so that it was hovering over the wound. "Can you feel the injury?" That seemed like an even odder question to Spike.

"I can feel what's wrong." Willow's voice was hoarse. "But the barrier-" She coughed and little spots of blood landed on her blouse.

"Don't worry. Just do the best you can."

Willow's hand began to glow. She gripped the stake. Spike noticed the air around them was getting a little less green. He looked at the Wolf and Ram, still touching the barrier. Willow pulled the stake out which Spike knew you weren't supposed to do for stab wounds, but he figured magical healing superseded that. Kennedy approached Willow and grabbed the hand that wasn't holding the stake. The air didn't get any more or less green. Willow pressed down on the bloody hole in her body, blood staining her hands. Slowly the flesh began to knit itself back together. "I'm okay." She gasped "I'm going to make it."

Kennedy hugged Willow, who was still lying on the ground, suppressing tears. "I thought you were going to die." Willow gave Kennedy a weak hug in return.

"Immensely disappointing." The Ram said

"I protest sister." The Wolf said "Super boy should have dealt a more decisive blow."

"His heart wasn't in it, we should have been more patient." The Ram explained

"Shall we try again?" Spike stiffened. Who would they go after this time? Maybe Angel again, convince him that Willow would kill Conner in retribution. But it would probably be someone new. Maybe Harmony, she was after all evil. Perhaps Nina again, or Oz.

"No," The Ram said "Let's go, we'll come back later."

The Wolf looked disappointed but she followed her sister away. Buffy hauled Conner to his feet. Spike watched Angel rush over. "Buffy-"

"Why?!" Buffy demanded of the boy with the bloody hands

Conner looked away. "You can kill me if you want."

"Nobody is going to kill you Conner." Angel promised "What did they tell you?"

"Nothing I didn't already know." Conner said "We're all demons." He looked around the room. "We need to be cleansed. Our presence is corrupting, and the innocent die. They're going to cleanse the world. We've all been corrupted, and must be purged."

Buffy dropped Conner, who hit the ground and lay on his back. He pulled himself up so that he was resting on his elbows. She looked at him with disgust on her face. "How did you become so simple-minded that you believe everything anyone tells you?"

"Well no one ever tells me the truth." Conner said "All the supposed good guys ever do is lie. I figure if the truth is so abhorrent maybe I'll finally get it from the bad guys."

Buffy turned away. She walked off, deciding his wasn't worth her time. Spike went to meet her at the barrier. Faith and Wesley approached them. Spike could hear Angel trying to get through to his son, but tuned the vampire out. Spike considered telling Buffy the truth, but decided against it. It would seem- it would be- self-serving. The four of them were quiet.

After a moment Faith broke the silence. "I could talk to Nina and Oz."

Buffy shook her head. "I'll do it. We'll have to work fast, they could come back at any time. Wesley I need you to talk to Angel and figure out if we can count on Conner. Talk to Gunn as well, let him know we're going through with the plan." Wesley walked off to complete his task. "Faith tell Lorne to get ready to hear a lot of people sing." Faith looked confused, but went to get the Pylean. Spike gave Buffy and odd look. She responded with a steely glare. "How did you know what Conner was going to do?" She asked

"I didn't know it would be Conner. They tried to get me to do the same thing."

"How?"

"They showed me what my destiny would have been if they hadn't interfered."

"What was it?"

Spike shook his head. He made a decision. "I will never tell you Buffy. I'll die first."

She was taken aback by this. "Did you kill me or something?"

"No," His voice was firm. "No more questions."

"Okay," Buffy turned to the room. "Everybody pick a song!"

…

"I'm really sorry about this." Xander said as he tied Oz's hands

"It's okay," He said "I'm used to failing tests."

Xander gave his old classmate a slight smile. "I remember."

Xander stood up and watched Lorne approach Buffy. "It's a delicate science what I do, we can't be sure that any of them were going to kill anybody."

Buffy didn't answer. She just glanced at Willow trying to comfort a moping tied-up Kennedy and then quickly looked away. Xander caught a glimpse of Anne talking to her seething boyfriend. Harmony was protesting the inconvenience, but she didn't seem mad per say. Conner hadn't offered the slightest protest at being tied up, neither had Oz. Xander had been pretty surprised when Oz failed. Xander was curious who it was Lorne had seen the senior partners could trick or convince Oz into murdering, but that wasn't exactly something he could ask.

"Are you wondering to?" Oz asked

Xander jumped. "Yeah, you always seemed like a nonviolent type to me. Well except for the- hey maybe it's a werewolf thing, like they would just make you turn like-"

Xander cut himself off before he said something he would regret, but Nina knew. "No, because then I would have failed the test as well. Maybe the protection spell prevents it."

"Didn't stop the dark cloud of terribleness." Xander pointed out

Nina shrugged, having lost interest in the conversation. "Are you okay?" Oz asked

Xander walked away to give them some space.

"Not really, but that's not really a big deal right now."

"It is to me." Oz said

Nina moved closer to him, so that they were sitting across from each other. "I figured you would hate me." She said, staring at his bound hands. "I hated you after you lost control."

"I can't hate you." Oz said "Something just won't let me."

"I thought…" She bit her lip and Oz understood.

"You thought it might be you." His heart sank.

"I'm sorry. I had no cause to think that, no right to think you could ever be so petty."

"I don't know that Conner kid all that well, but I doubt he stabbed Willow out of pettiness." Oz flinched. The image of Willow bleeding was stuck in his mind.

Nina nodded. "Who is it?"

Oz shrugged. "I'd tell you if I knew. I don't."

Nina bit her lip and looked away. "Do you love me?"

Oz waited for her to look him in the eye. "Yes,"

Nina looked down. "I wish you didn't."

"I can't help it." He said

"I feel like I should take it all back. I feel like I should say that losing control made me understand what you went through. You tried to help me Oz, you looked after me. I feel like I owe you for that. But the truth is that you gave me hope that I could manage this condition, turn it into something good instead of a burden. Now that hope is gone and I hate you a little for that."

Oz nodded. "I understand."

Nina looked doubtful, but when she looked in his eyes she saw he was telling the truth. "I appreciate that. You're a really good man."

Oz shook his head. "Just a regular man, but with-"

He was cut off by the sound of Buffy clearing her throat. "I need to talk to you."

…

"Conner please talk to me." Angel sat next to his son, who was lying on the ground with his tied hands resting on his chest. The boy stared at the ceiling, immobile. "Please,"

"Angel," Angel looked up at Faith, who was approaching cautiously. "I'm sorry to bother you." Her eyes flitted to Conner and then back to Angel. "I need to talk to you."

Angel got up and walked a little ways over to talk to Faith. Conner heard every word. He slowly rose from the ground and looked at his surroundings. He decided what he had to do.


	20. Connect

The Ram ran her hand through the rubble as though it were water. She lay down and stretched out. "We'll have them all soon." She spoke with certainty "Collect them one by one."

The Wolf giggled as she ran around the ruins of the Hyperion. "Can you feel all the pain and suffering that took place here? It's intoxicating."

"It is." The Ram said "Such stories this place tells."

"They all tell stories. Did you taste it in her blood? Did you taste the disillusionment, the self-doubt, the betrayal, the loneliness? It was wonderful."

The Ram chuckled. "He'll never know she cared for him."

"I just wish I could have prevented the annoying Englishman from being reunited with his lover." The Wolf said "Their love is nauseating. He has such potential for cruelty and perversion, but she nurtures that which is kind and pure in him. I hate that."

"I know sweetie, but we had to get rid of Illyria. I'll tell you what, when we kill that bothersome Fred you can keep her man as a pet." The Ram said "I wouldn't mind holding onto his slayer friend. I would love to make her realize her greatest fear. I would love to turn her back and then show her what she has become. She'd kill herself and I could watch."

The Wolf tittered some more. "My only fear is that the torment we inflict on them might not be up to par with what they have already endured. What more could we do to them?"

The Ram felt the pulse of the earth under her skin. She writhed with pleasure. "Can't you feel it? They feel so betrayed and humiliated. They feel weak and desperate."

The Wolf grinned and walked over to her sister. She lay down on her stomach next to her sister. "What do you want to do first when we leave here? Where do you want to go?"

"I'm thinking Australia. We could sink it under a tidal wave as a herald of our arrival."

The Wolf grinned, staring at her hands. "I have such pretty nails."

"You do." The Ram said "You should make them longer and use them for cutting throats." The Wolf rose to her knees and held her hands up closer to her face. "Vanity is such a human emotion sister, don't fall into it." The Ram teased

"I'm not vain. How can someone who knows how much better they are be vain?"

"Better," The Ram considered this. "We are not better than them. That implies a comparison. We are a different being, we cannot be juxtaposed to them. Would they assign themselves as better than an ant who in its tiny little life cannot even suppose of a single thought that might meander through the mind of a human? We are old ones, we are before, and after."

The Wolf leaned back until she was lying down. She put a hand against the earth. "For so long we were barred. We were exiles, cast outs. Now we rule. No punishment is great enough."

"No," The Ram said "But do not let that dilute your joy in inflicting it."

"All right," The Wolf promised "I won't."

…

Oz and Nina both stared at the slayer. Oz started to reach for his head to rub his temple, but it was awkward with his bound hands and he dropped them into his lap. "Wow,"

"I would never ask if there was another way." Buffy said

"So it's either do this and die or we don't do it and we die anyway but so does everybody else." Nina said "That's not much of a choice."

"I'm so sorry." Buffy felt terrible. She wanted to take back what she had said, but she couldn't because it was the only way. This plan was their last chance.

"So when does this happen?" Nina asked

"Tomorrow morning," Buffy forced herself to meet Nina's gaze, even though all she wanted to do was look away. "If I could think of a way…" She fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm just thinking of the fate of the world. No one wanted this-"

"Buffy," Oz cut of her babbling "Could you please… go away?"

"Uh yeah, sure," She left.

Nina grabbed Oz's tied hands. "I could go by myself. You could stay here."

"Nina-"

"You don't need to die. I can do this, it'll be okay. You can live for a long time."

"Nina-"

"You can have a life and a future. You'll get to see the sun again. I don't need any of that if the people I care about are okay. If you could just find my sister and tell her-"

Oz leaned in and stopped her with a kiss. "I love you."

Tears streamed down her face. "I love you to."

Oz kissed her some more and thought of the years he spent wandering. He thought of the purpose he couldn't find and the woman who was incapable of needing him. Now he had found a purpose and a woman, but he didn't have any time. For so long he had been hampered by his condition. Now it brought him some peace in his final hours. "I'll never leave you."

"I kept thinking about the future. I kept assuming there would be one. That was stupid."

"No, it wasn't. You deserve a future. You deserve someone you can trust."

Nina leaned her head against his shoulder. "I trust you. I'm scared."

"So am I." There wasn't anything more to say. So they didn't speak for a long time.

…

Lorne sighed. "Are you okay?" Teresa asked

He held out his hand and she took it, getting all of his thoughts. "Am I?"

She snuggled up to him. He was pretty sure he loved her, although he never could love her in a physical way. As a Pylean Lorne was incompatible with humans, and most human-demon hybrids. Physical intimacy had been the first sacrifice Lorne had been forced to make in order to be a part of this dimension. There had been more, and now he wondered if he wouldn't have been better off in Pylea, the land he despised. At least then the standards were low. "Yes,"

He was surprised by that answer to his question. "They're going to die."

"Together," Teresa said "They will find in death a peace they cannot have in life."

"Too many people have died." Lorne said "When will it stop?"

"Our lives are filled with pain and suffering, but within that there are moments where the pain is worth it. There are experiences that allow us to suffer the pain, and gladly."

"His face never leaves me." Lorne said

"Lindsey would have taken your life with ease if it benefitted him."

Lorne nodded. "I know that, I do. But I was never cut out for this life. I can't… I'm not a killer. I'm not a warrior or a champion. I told Angel that Lindsey was the last job I'd ever do for him. Why did I come back?" Lorne shook his head. "Why did you bring me back?"

"Cordelia told me to. There's something you have to do."

"What? I can't fight, can't save the day."

"It's not now, it's later. You save the day later."

Lorne frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Teresa shrugged. "I only know what she tells me. But you live, and you find those moments. You will feel such pain, but please don't let it destroy you. Please, for me?"

He kissed her, and that was his answer.

…

Wesley held her hand, trying to memorize the feel of it. He never wanted to let it go. Fred leaned against his shoulder. "What comes next?" She asked

"What do you mean?" He asked in return

"I think we'll win." She said "I think we'll beat these baddies. But so much has happened. I don't think that things can ever be… like they were." He stared into her eyes.

"What about us?" He said quietly "Do you think we could be like we were?"

Fred shook her head. "I think we can be even better." She leaned in for a brief kiss. "But I think about everything that has happened and I don't know if I can go back to demon fighting."

Wesley considered this. Fighting the forces of evil were what he had been groomed for since he was a little boy. He'd never really done anything else. But when he looked at her none of that mattered. He would leave what he thought was his calling behind. Because all of that had been another lifetime ago. He'd been reborn, and this new life could be anything. "Me neither,"

"I guess we both only had one life to give for the cause." Fred said

Wesley closed his eyes. He could hear her breathing and smell her skin. He could imagine a life with her. But there was no guarantee of survival. They could make so many plans and they might amount to nothing. "Do you want to leave L.A?"

"I miss my parents. I kind of want to be near them."

"I've always wanted to go to Texas." Wesley said

"You are such a liar." She giggled

"But it's endearing." He said "Because I'm so bad at it."

She kissed him again. "Can we be normal people? I'm a little afraid Wes. I'm afraid we can't ever escape this life. Can we escape the magic? Could we be average?"

"You could never be average. But we can leave all this behind, we can move on."

Her hand tightened around his and they sat next to one another, connected.

…

Angel sat down next to his son and was startled when Conner spoke. "I want to go with Nina and Oz." Angel gaped. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "I'm not really asking."

"Conner, what's this about?"

"Someone has to go with them to make sure everything goes as planned. I want to do it."

Angel frowned. "It's to-"

He felt an unnatural hand on his shoulder. He looked up at Teresa. "He has to." She said

Angel shook his head again. "I'll go, I was going to anyways."

Teresa gave him a sad smile. "You can't. You have another destiny."

"I'm doing this." Conner insisted

"He won't die." Teresa promised

Angel frowned some more. "I don't like it. You can't be sure. If-"

"Angel!" Buffy was calling him. "I need to talk to you."

"I'll be right back." Angel said

When his father was gone Conner asked Teresa "I'm really not going to die?"

She shrugged. "That's up to you."

…

"What's up?" Angel asked, visibly perturbed

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I need to ask you something." Buffy looked unwell. Their current circumstances were no doubt in part to blame for her sallow skin and dark-ringed eyes, but there was something else.

"Of course,"

"I called you over here to tell you Nina and Oz are on board. They're going to die for the cause." Angel flinched at this. He might not love Nina the same way he had loved Buffy or Cordelia, but he cared for her a great deal. Her impending death weighed on him.

"Okay," He couldn't bring himself to say that was good.

A single tear dripped from the slayer's eye. "Am I a bad person?"

Angel gripped her hand. "You're the best person I know."

"You're just saying that because you love me." She said

"I love you because it's true." Angel kissed her.

"You left me so that I could have something you couldn't give me." Buffy said "But you're the only person who can give me what I need. Don't you get that?"

"Now I do." He hugged her. "If I don't make it-"

"Don't say that." She rebuffed him harshly "Don't even think it."

"It's just… I want you to know my son."

Buffy nodded. "I want to know him too."

Angel squeezed, not wanting to ever let her go. "I don't want to leave you again."

"Then don't."

…

"Who do you think it is?" Gun asked his girlfriend, thinking about his failing results

She shrugged. "I couldn't even begin to guess. But you're just going to drive yourself crazy thinking about it. Don't worry." Anne gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile.

Gunn felt his heart melting looking at her face. "I feel like I wasted years of my life."

"Why?"

"Because I only just got together with you."

She laughed. "So all the demon fighting was a total wash?"

Gunn looked down at his bindings to hide his glum expression. "Feels like it sometimes."

She put her pointer and index finger under his chin and lifted his head. "Hey," She looked into his eyes, searching for something. "It's going to be okay."

"Are you psychic now too?" Gunn teased

She snuggled up next to him. "Yes. I see your future Charles Gunn." She adopted a faux spooky voice. "Do you want to see through the fog of time?" She chuckled.

Gunn laughed with her. "Are you there?"

"Of course,"

"That's all I need." He leaned in for a kiss.

…

Spike's peaceful smoke was interrupted by Harmony. "Do you care about me at all?"

He sighed with exasperation, releasing a puff of smoke. "Not really,"

She stamped her foot and squeaked with frustration. "You are impossible. You have no feelings for me, but you have no problem with using me like a cheap whore."

Spike shrugged. "You don't seem to mind."

"Well I do mind!"

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm sick of being treated like this. I want people to treat me like a human being!"

"Harmony," Spike rubbed his forehead. "You're not human."

"Neither are you!" She said

"I have a soul." Spike growled

Harmony rolled her eyes. "Oh big whoop," She held up her hands and arched her eyebrows in mock amazement. "He has a soul! Oh my God! It's so exciting!"

"Piss off Harmony." Spike said "I don't have time for this."

"The only person you care about is yourself." Harmony said "As far as I'm concerned that soul of yours that makes you so special is broken."

Spike grabbed Harmony by the neck and slammed her against the wall. She lifted her bound hands to shield her face. Spike shoved her away. "You'd kill us, your song said so."

"Gee I'm a murderer." Harmony said "I guess that makes me a monster. So how many people have you killed? Or do you even remember all of them?"

Spike dropped his cigarette and began to grind it into the ground. "I remember."

"But you still think you're better than me."

"Harmony I know I'm better than you." Spike said

"How do you know that?"

Spike thought about the Wolf and Ram. With a single statement Spike could destroy Angel. He could tell everyone the truth and they would never look at their champion, or Spike, the same way again. "Because I'm not going to tell you."

"That doesn't make any sense." Harmony said

Spike grabbed her neck again and kissed her. She kissed him back. It wasn't nice, it wasn't fulfilling, but it was something. They were connected.

…

Faith took a deep breath and held it. She exhaled slowly, feeling the warm sphere of magic in her hand. Willow's instructions had been simple. She couldn't mess this up. Faith approached Wesley. He was testing the weight of a long metal pipe. "I could take down a few demons with that." Faith said in what she hoped was a normal tone of voice

"Won't do much against an old one." Wesley said, but he smiled at her "Are you ready?"

"Almost," She said "I'm not worried." She assured him

"Good, you shouldn't be. We'll all be okay." Wesley didn't really believe that. He knew Oz and Nina were going to die, and he supposed a few others would probably perish as well. Still he tried to be optimistic. If he was going to die, he was going out on a positive note.

"I know." Faith said "We will." She punched him in the gut, stunning him long enough for her to press that sphere of light against his head. Her old watcher collapsed. He would have hit the floor if she hadn't been there to catch him. Angel walked up.

"Good job,"

"Good spell," She said as she easily carried the grown man over to the wall and sat him down. "It was nice of Willow to help me out."

"I think she knows how you feel." Angel said

"I guess." Faith straightened up and noticed that a few people around the room were staring at her, but nobody said anything. "He wouldn't have made it."

"I know." Angel said "Still might not. Maybe none of us will."

"Don't say that." Faith smiled at him "We've always come through before."

"This is different." Angel said "Faith I have to tell you something."

"Okay," She agreed "But do me a favor and if it's something you'll regret telling me when we live through this, keep it to yourself."

Angel thought about his destiny, the one stolen from Spike and given to him. He thought of the way he- the way all of them- had been manipulated. Who was he really? Angel wasn't sure he knew anymore. Maybe Faith could help him. She knew what it was like to question your purpose. He pictured himself telling her what the senior partners had told him. He pictured her reaction. "Never mind,"

He never told her.

…

Angel cleared his throat. The time had gone by too fast. The hour was approaching, minutes flying by leaving nothing to mark them. Spike turned to look at him and rolled his eyes.

"I guess you know what I'm going to say." Angel said

Spike held out a hand with two fingers extended. "You're either here to," He slammed his index finger from his opposite hand against the first finger. "Beg me not to tell Buffy what the senior bitches told me or," He hit the second finger. "You want to assuage your conscience."

Angel flinched. "I didn't know, I mean I did, but only just before you did."

"Shut up Angel," Spike practically spat the words out. "I don't care about how you feel, or about your excuses. What's done is done. We just have to carry it with us, forever. I can, can you?" Spike stared into his grandsire's eyes, searching, accusing.

"I don't know." Angel confessed

"Then it seems I'm not your problem." Spike said

"Seems like." Angel said

"Then what are you still doing here?" Spike asked

Angel furrowed his brow. "You're angry."

"Shouldn't I be?"

"Yes," Angel said "I'm just wondering why you didn't tell Buffy. You're angry, that would be the perfect vengeance. She's be appalled with me, feel sorry for you."

"I don't want her to feel sorry for me." Spike kicked the concrete ground and stared at it with unwarranted fascination. "I just want her to be happy."

"That's very…" He'd been about to say noble, but better word occurred to him. "Heroic,"

Spike held up his right hand with his pointer and index finger forming a V. "Screw you,"

"I was complementing you," Angel said, a little affronted

"Sorry, let me adjust my response accordingly." Spike carefully enunciated his next words. "Piss. Off." He spoke a little loudly and a few people looked their way. They quickly turned their attention back to whatever they had been doing, more invested in their own preparations for what might be the last outings of their lives.

Angel held up his hands in surrender. "Fine," He started to go and then turned back around. "Do you want me to tell her? I will, if that will make up for it."

"Make up for what? You're as much a pawn in all of this as I am. All the pain and suffering you felt the last few hundred years was designed by them. Your soul should still be chilling on some fluffy white cloud or some bollocks like that. They put you back in this hell, an eunuch for all intents and purposes-"

"I'm not a-"

"Condemned to a life of eternal remorse, forced to abandon the ones you love every step of the way in a desperate ploy to set you on the path of evil. You didn't really win."

"Wait," Angel said "If you're not mad at me, who are you mad at?"

"Oh I'm bloody well furious with you, but it's irrational. I get that. You didn't cause this, except for in a very indirect way. I could take petty vengeance against you and no one would really blame me, because I'd just be telling the truth. But this could be my last battle and I don't want my last act in this world to be fucking with you. I'm better than that."

"Well technically," Angel couldn't restrain himself. "In that scenario you're last act would be trying to off the old one that killed you."

"You're right, I should tell Buffy." Spike scanned the room for her.

Angel quickly backtracked. "But I get what you're saying. Thank you,"

"Don't you get it?" Now Spike sounded pissed again. Angel had no idea why. "Not everything is about you. Don't thank me; because I'm not doing this for you. I don't care about you, not enough to keep this quiet. This is for me, maybe a little for Buffy but mostly for me."

Angel got it in that moment, in a way he never had before. He saw Spike for what might possibly have been the first time. He considered apologizing, but it would take too long to explain what he was apologizing for. He considered a lot of replies in a short span of time, but none of them were right, or they would take too long to say. So Angel looked Spike in the eye and shared an understanding with him. "Okay,"

…

Nina untied Oz. "I wish we'd had a chance." She said

Oz put a hand against her face. She closed her eyes and let every sensation but that fade away. "That doesn't matter." He told her

"Are you ready?" She asked

He took her hand and they stood up together. "Yeah,"

She rested her forehead against his chest. "I feel the power." She whispered

"Me too," They headed for the door.

Angel was nearby. He cut Conner's bonds. "Are you ready?" He asked the boy

Conner nodded. He embraced his father. "I love you dad."

Angel pulled him close and squeezed. "I love you so much son."

"I'll see you later." Conner turned to the werewolves. "I'll be right behind you, don't worry about waiting for me, even if I fell behind I can track you."

Nina nodded. "We won't-can't really. Wolves don't wait, they hunt."

Conner spared one last look at his dad. He looked at the werewolves holding each other for the last time. He didn't know if he could be that brave, but he would soon. "Let's go."

Willow dissolved the barrier. The werewolves transformed, suddenly, gracefully. They took off, their speed remnant of lightning. Conner followed. Angel blinked back a tear.

The voice of an old friend broke his despair. "When we're done saving the world, we should all go out to eat, to celebrate." Fred said

Angel grinned. Gunn approached them, removing the last of the rope that was wrapped around his wrist. "Let's get Chinese."

Fred snorted. "Of course that's what you want, you're the fried rice bandit."

"Ow," Gunn placed a hand over his heart. "That hurts Fred, I resent that implication."

"I resent my severe lacking of fried rice every time I leave you alone with my food."

"Children," Angel said, a big grin plastered on his face "Calm down."

"She started it." Gunn pointed at Fred.

She squeaked in indignation. She gave Gunn a good-natured shove and then lay her head against his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. "No good-byes,"

He hugged her. "Never,"

Fred, holding back tears, stepped back and hugged her old boss. "Go kill monsters."

Angel rested his chin on the top of her head. "Look after him." He whispered

She nodded, her hair scraping against his neck. "I promise."

Faith approached the group. She hung back for a moment, unsure. Gunn had grabbed hold of his girlfriend and they were getting in a passionate pre-battle kiss. Angel let go of Fred and she turned to see Faith. Faith was dumbfounded when the petite Texan enveloped her in a tight hug. "Thank you," She said "Please come back."

Faith hugged the woman she barely knew back. "I will."

"We all will." Gunn was looking at Anne, but speaking to all of them.

Lorne approached the group. He held out a hand to Angel which the vampire ignored, opting instead to hug the Pylean. "Good luck," Lorne said "You need it."

Angel nodded. "Thanks for coming back, it means a lot."

Lorne looked away. "Just return the favor all right."

Lorne hugged Gunn. "Stick around, I saw more than violence when you sang, good stuff." Lorne walked up to the dark-haired slayer. "Watch after these dummies."

"I will." Lorne nodded and walked away.

Spike approached with Harmony, Buffy, Willow, Kennedy, and Xander. Spike locked eyes with his grandsire. They shared a moment of understanding. "Ready?" Spike asked "Or do you need a moment to speechify and whatnot? Try to keep it short, a fellow can only take so much pain in one day. Plus we're sort of on a timeline." Spike tapped an imaginary watch face.

Angel shook his head. "I don't have anything else to say." He looked at Gunn, Faith, and Buffy in turn. They each shook their heads. He looked at Willow, Kennedy and Spike. They all shook their heads, Spike even rolled his eyes. Xander shook his head as well.

"Can I say something?" Harmony asked

Angel restrained a snide comment. She was risking her life alongside them, she deserved a chance to speak her mind. "Sure, but uh… remember the timeline."

"I just wanted to say thanks, for accepting me. I know I'm evil and everything, but it's an honor that you're letting me fight beside you. Thank you."

Angel was surprised by how much this moved him. "Okay, let's kill some demons."

"Finally," Spike muttered

They left. Willow recast the barrier, sealing Lorne, Teresa, Anne, Fred, and Wesley inside. The small group of heroes made their way toward the Hyperion.

…

"Ow," Wesley touched his throbbing temple. "What happened?"

"Faith knocked you out." Wesley's vision cleared and Fred was leaning down to talk to him. "You feel okay?" She was concerned, she looked so cute when she was concerned.

Wesley shook his head, clearing the last of the blurriness from his vision. "Why?"

"She wanted to save you. She told me she owed you a saving."

Wesley groaned. "I have never been so angry with someone for trying to save my life."

Fred extended her hand and helped Wesley to his feet. "You'll get over it."

"After all this time and all of these events I'm still the guy who gets knocked out right before the big battle." Wesley groused "Figures, some things never change."

"Everything changes." Fred said "We all changed." She looked at the barrier. At least they would know when it was over. The barrier would come down and they would have a chance to prepare. Of course there wasn't really anything they could do. She squeezed his hand.

…

In the depths of a hell dimension a beautiful woman was floating on a river of blood. She was more than just beautiful, she was glee, and a million other things. She wore an unblemished white dress that never stained. She could feel life, its hot pain, flowing under her. She could feel the battle raging upstairs. She felt the moment it was decided. She stood up, standing waist deep in the river. She walked up the shore, her dress still unmarked. The sky was white, the ground was red stone. She placed her hand on the ground and closed her eyes. She smiled.

"You called for me mam?" An elderly man appeared in front of her.

"Yes Holland," Her voice was soft, kind. "I did."

"What can I do to please you?"

"Do you remember the raising we talked about?"

"Of course mam." Holland Manners looked at the kneeling smiling woman. Her long white dress yielded to the hot winds that rushed over the stone and upset the blood. The fabric moved like water, fluttering one direction and then another. Her black curls did their own dance, rising off her neck and then falling down again. He watched her rise.

"See to it."

"Yes mam," He started to leave.

"Holland," He turned around again.

"I thought you would like to know. Your old friend Angel,"

Holland smiled. "Yes mam,"

"His fate is sealed, his doom assured."

Holland left, filled with cheer. That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

The Hart left her riverbank, heading off to meet the heroes.

…

Nina and Oz ran side by side, taking turns howling. Their muscles extended and flexed with such incredible speed the process couldn't be seen, their flanks producing sweat to cool down the overheating bodies. Other wolves came, hearing the call, remembering their training in the abbey basement. Together the pack, led by Nina and Oz, headed for their creator. They were guided by their minds, by their leaders, and by their instincts. Everything in them was screaming, crying for a kill. For generations their bloodline had serves as a rope, a lifeline for this monster keeping her close to the earth, allowing her a way back. Now they would choke her with it.


	21. Victory

"Where are they?" Angel asked

The Hyperion was abandoned, or more accurately, the ground where the Hyperion had once stood was abandoned. Angel walk around a pile of debris and picked up a sword that had once been held in the destroyed weapon's cabinet. The wind was the loudest sound in the vicinity. Angel tossed Buffy the sword. "Maybe you were wrong, maybe you can't really sense them. They could have made their home back at the abbey, or at Wolfram & Hart." Buffy said

"No," Spike could hear the Ram, but not with his ears like he heard the infuriating sound of the wind. He heard her on a different frequency. He heard her with his blood. "She's here."

"Where?" Kennedy asked

The whistle was something they could all hear. Spike knew the song, something by the Animals. He placed it when he heard her sing. "There is a house in New Orleans…" She grinned at them. "My… children as Angelus so aptly phrased it. You have returned to me."

Angel scowled. "We didn't come to chat."

"No," She agreed "You came to die." She became the Ram. Her sleek black coat was the same shade as the skin of her human form. Her horns were that sunny orange. The warriors all grabbed swords from the same pile of clutter Angel had found. As they backed up they found themselves subconsciously forming groups. Willow, Kennedy, and Xander stayed near the pile of weapons. Harmony, Gunn, and Spike headed behind the unnatural beast. Faith, Buffy, and Angel stepped in front of her. The Ram charged, the slayers and vampire were able to dodge her attack only in the nick of time. Angel swung his sword toward the beast and was knocked down by a toss of her head. Faith aimed for the neck, but her sword just bounced of the creature's flesh. Buffy aimed for the Ram's eye, but hit her horns and was jarred by the impact.

"Just so we're clear, can we even get through this thing's thick hide?" Gunn asked

"Hopefully," Spike said

"Awesome," Gunn said "Used to just be vampires," He mumbled

…

The Wolf batted aside a cluster of werewolves. She just needed to take out their leaders and this problem would be solved. Where were they? One clawed at her neck, breaking through her thick skin as only her own power could. Her golden fur was discolored by blood. She snapped her jaws at the troublesome creature, but she was gone. Another slashed at her ribs. The Wolf reared up on her hind legs and brought her front legs down on top of two werewolves, squashing them. They returned to mortal form, their puny mortal bodies covered in blood. The Wolf grasped another of her creations in her jaws. She shook her head, snapping the poor creature's back. She threw it away like an abused toy no one wanted to play with anymore. She returned to her human form. Her fingernails grew long. Her canines lengthened to a half-meter and her front teeth grew into something resembling a beaver's teeth. Her lower jaw shrunk to allow her teeth more room to gnash and gnaw. She howled at the killing moon.

…

Lorne stood in the doorway, watching the air outside of their protective bubble. Something was happening. Reality was shifting again. Anne approached. "What is it?"

"Either something good," He said "Or something really, really bad."

…

The Ram swung her head, knocking over Harmony and Spike. Willow splayed her fingers out toward the monster, sending a wave of energy toward it. The Ram started to bare down toward her. Angel stepped in the way, full vamp face. He swung at the Ram with his sword, doing no damage, but causing himself to fall on the ground. The Ram lifted a hoof to crush the vampire and Angel bit her leg, as hard as he could. She kicked, sending him flying, but Willow saw the blood leaking from her leg. "Spike!" She called to the vampire struggling to his feet. "Cut your hand!" Spike obeyed without question while Kennedy tried to deflect a blow aimed at Willow. "Toss me your sword." Spike threw the bloody blade, Xander caught it.

"Over here!" Faith swung at the Ram head on, while Buffy stabbed between the Ram's ribs while she was distracted by Faith. Neither attack penetrated skin.

Willow did a quick spell. The bloodstain on Spike's sword stretched, covering the whole blade. "Buffy!" Buffy looked toward her and Willow tossed her the sword.

Buffy deftly caught the blade and swung it at the demon. She sliced open the creature's flank, causing drops of blood to hit her blouse and face. "Nice!"

"Spike! Angel!" Willow shouted "I have an idea!"

…

Nina attacked the Wolf's neck, latching on and refusing to release her hold. The more the Wolf shook her head the more Nina tore into her flesh. The woman's blue dress was stained with red. The Wolf stabbed her long nails into Nina's ribs and sliced downwards. Nina fell to the ground. The Wolf picked up the body and bit into Nina's neck with her fangs, slashing. The Wolf dropped the dead woman to the ground and was stunned when she was tackled by another of her creations, Oz. This one tore and slashed at her face. The Wolf bit and stabbed. The werewolf did the same. Other werewolves swamped her. One grasped her wrist. One clawed out an eye. Oz used his claws to cut open her belly, strange red masses that didn't resemble human guts spilled out. The Wolf transformed. She grew larger, became a wolf again. Oz scratched and clawed, but the Wolf used her snout to toss him aside. She ripped apart the people tainted by her demonic touch, putting an end to their vengeance. One by one the Werewolves died, resuming their mortal forms. The Wolf became human in appearance once more, stumbling in her tattered bloody countenance. Oz rushed for her. She grabbed his shoulders and swung him upwards. She hefted him up, holding his back. She brought him down against her knee. His back broke. She stepped on his neck, crushing his windpipe. He became human again.

Conner watched all of this. The werewolves were all dead. She was still alive. She stumbled, but was still able to walk. She headed for the Hyperion. Conner watched the hole in her front continue to leak viscous red fluids. He pulled his trusty stake from his pocket. He approached the woman. She laughed. Even though she couldn't see him she knew he was present. "You want to slay me boy?" She turned, fingernails and fangs once more extended.

"You're bleeding." Conner said redundantly "Here," He stabbed inside of her. He knew he couldn't break her skin, but she was already broken. He reached inside of her and planted his wooden stake inside something. Some burning disgusting thing that formed the core of her.

"I am without form." She whispered, her voice weakening "Before humanity, before goodness or evil, we crawled from the mud of creation. Our teacher showed us what evil was. He gave us power with no parallel and promised us this world we would inherit. You think you can kill me?" Conner pushed harder against the stake. She slashed at him with her long nails. Four red lines formed on his body. His blood dripped into her, hers leaked into him.

"Just die!" He howled "Pay for your crimes!"

"We have committed no crimes, broken no ancient laws. We followed the rules."

Conner reached in with his other hand and grabbed the thing his stake had hit. He pulled, but it wouldn't budge. He fell back, and as he felt the hot gooey center of her break loose it fell apart in his hands. She fell back, his bloody hands emerging with yellow slime on them. She hit the ground and began to burn. Her skin cracked and peeled. She fell apart right before his eyes, sizzling as though someone had poured acid on her. In a few minutes only a pile of red fluid remained. Conner clutched his scared face. "Ow," He moaned

Conner headed for the Hyperion.

…

The Ram tossed Xander in the air, when he came back down he knocked Harmony to the ground. Buffy swung for the Ram, but the old one dodged and kicked at the slayer. Buffy hit the ground, clutching her bruised abdomen and gasping for breath. The Ram resumed her human form. She smirked at the warriors. They all froze for a moment in thrall of her vicious gaze. She punched the ground. The schism where her sister had emerged widened. "You may think you have won something today. You have not. You never win." Fire leaped up from the chasm. She ran toward Kennedy and threw the slayer against the ground. A horrible crunching sound let them all know something had broken. Faith laid a hand on the demon's shoulder to toss her away, but the Ram grabbed Faith's extended arm and tossed the slayer over her shoulder. She laid simultaneous blows on Angel and Spike. They flew to the side. She hit Buffy in the spine, causing the slayer to collapse in pain. For a moment everyone stood back. The Ram grinned.

Buffy swung her sword at the Ram, cutting her arm. The Ram grabbed the blade and shoved, knocking out one of Buffy's teeth. Buffy howled in pain while the Ram looked at her own bleeding hands. "I could not have saved you." She whispered "Good bye," She ran toward the hole in the earth and then jumped in, being consumed by the fire.

Angel acted on pure instinct. He lifted one of the enchanted swords and ran toward the tear in dimensional boundaries. "Angel!" Buffy screamed "Stop! It's over!" She ran after her lover. Faith ran with her, the slayers racing to save the vampire before he could take the plunge.

"Bloody hell," Spike knew what was going to happen and chased after Buffy.

Willow stood to follow her best friend. Xander grabbed her arm. She looked at him and he shook his head. Gunn shot a look at Harmony who scoffed and shook her head as well.

Angel paused for only a moment at the ledge, before stepping into the flames. Buffy and Faith jumped in after him. Spike also jumped into the hole. For a moment the five remaining members of the group just stared. The flames grew dimmer and lower. Willow edged closer to the ledge. The fires went out and when Willow looked down the tear in dimensions had closed. She turned to stare at Xander, eyes wide, terrified. "They're trapped down there."

Her four companions approached and looked at the bottom of the chasm, just rock. "So now what do we do?" Harmony asked "I mean, this isn't good right?"

The sound of a horrifying roar nearby made them all jump, except for Kennedy who was taking care not to jostle her broken arm or fractured ribs. Willow started a healing spell on her girlfriend. Gunn stared at the hole his former boss had jumped into. How were they going to get them out? Was it even possible? He locked eyes with Xander, who looked terrified. "No way, not Buffy. I can't lose her too." He rubbed his forehead. "I can't. I can't."

Another roar in the distance brought Gunn's attention to their surroundings. The very air seemed to be warping. Certain areas were being hit by sunlight, others were even darker than before. "Willow can you magic us an answer to what the hell is going on?" Gunn asked

Kennedy flexed her arm and poked her ribs. She gave Willow a nod. Willow allowed her attention to be diverted to the chaos around them. "The senior partners' influence is waning."

"Well that's good." Harmony said

Another roar prompted Gunn's question. "When their influence goes do they take all the nasty demons they brought here with them?" Willow's shaking head made his heat sink. It was never easy. "So I say we head back to the others and then start taking down the nas-Connner!"

Gunn saw Angel's son approaching and ran over to meet him. He stopped a few feet away to take in his injuries. "The Wolf is dead." Conner explained as he looked around "Where's my dad?" Conner followed Gunn's eyes to the chasm and then dropped to his knees. "They're all dead." He said in an emotionless voice "I'm all alone."

"They're not dead." Willow insisted "They're coming back."

Gunn stared at the schism. He wanted to believe her, he wanted that so much. Angel had come back from a lot of things, Gunn thought he recalled the man once mentioning he'd been to hell before. However this was different. They would either kill the Ram, or they were doomed.

…

Wesley held on tight to Fred's hand as dust was shook loose from the ceiling and the walls wobbled. On the other side of the barrier through the door they saw a large lizard-like demon with a tail the size of a Great Dane run by. The air seemed to stretch, the ground crackled and shimmered. Beams of light shone down, natural sunlight the likes of which they hadn't seen in a long while. Patches of darkness stood out as anomalies. The building shook again.

"Maybe we should go." Anne said nervously

"We couldn't get through the barrier even if there were somewhere for us to go." Wesley said "And it isn't as if anywhere else in the city is any safer than it is here."

"Unless the building comes down on top of us." Anne said

Distant rumblings and the calls of several different demon species increased the cacophony. "Let's just hope that doesn't happen all right?" Lorne shouted

"At least we know Willow is still alive!" Fred said "That's a good sign!"

Something large and heavy slammed into the side of the building. The five occupants flinched, but Willow's barrier was impenetrable. Still, they were nervous about the walls collapsing. Since there was nothing they could do the group didn't bring it up again, they just kept watching the reality fluxes, hoping their friends would return.

…

The naked bodies lay on the ground, mostly ignored by the passing demon hordes who sought out fresher meat. Carrion birds circled overhead, too afraid to touch down. Nina's once luminous hair was now coated in coagulated blood. Oz's body rested in a most unnatural condition. A large demon trampled through the area, further crushing Oz's body. The birds continued to wait for the chance to feast. The souls that had once inhabited these bodies had long since departed and the corpses were but reminders of what once was. The disease that had once inhabited them had fled with their heartbeats, they had achieved the only cure for their illness. It was not a cure they had hoped to find, not this early in their lives. Yet their short lives had held great meaning, they had slayed an old one, had paid the ultimate price to do so. Its work done, its inhabitant gone, the body that had once held a soul set to decaying.

…

Angel shook his arms, trying to dispel the pain from breaking his long fall. He looked up at the darkness which concealed the tall ceiling. They were in a tunnel composed of red stone, hot to the touch. Angel surveyed his companions. He wished they weren't here for what might be his, and now their, last battle. He had known when he saw the Ram flee that he had to end this now. He had pursued without hesitation. But he didn't want his friends to lose their lives as well.

"Where are we?" Spike asked

"Hell," Angel thought he might need to elaborate. "The senior partners' hell dimension."

"Great, I've been thinking about how much I wanted a vacation." Spike said sarcastically

"You shouldn't have followed me." Angel said "This is my des-" He stopped "Duty,"

Spike scowled but didn't say anything. "Can it prophecy boy." Buffy said "We're going to finish this together, get over it." She surveyed their surroundings. "Provided we can find the Ram in this place that is." Angel glanced at both ends of the tunnel, they looked that same.

"I can help with that." Lindsey stepped out from behind a corner. "Follow me."

Angel stared in disbelief as the lawyer gestured the way he had come. "How about hell no and I don't trust you as far as a small child could throw you and get lost Lindsey."

"Ironic that you don't trust me seeing as you're the one that had me killed." Lindsey said with his old charismatic smile plastered on his face, it brought back bad memories for Angel

"Ironic as it may be," Angel said "I know for a fact that you'll just lead us into some horrible trap. We'll take our chances." He looked at his companions, who nodded.

"Fine, get lost, see if I care."

"Can it Lindsey." Lilah stepped out of a shadow she had not been standing in before.

"Lilah," Lindsey was not pleased to see her. "I heard you were working for the powers."

"I am," she said smugly

"How's that?" Lindsey wore the special look of disdain he reserved just for her.

"Can't complain,"

"They torture you?" Lindsey asked

"In a manner of speaking," She said "But not as bad as you get it. I heard you were in the special hell for people who managed to piss of the goody goods and the wicked meanies."

"Screw you Lilah," Lindsey said

Lilah rolled her eyes and gestured in the opposite direction Lindsey had. Angel was hesitant to follow her but Wesley had said Cordelia recruited Lilah and Angel couldn't imagine Cordy letting a rogue employee lead them to their doom. "All right,"

"Isn't she the bitch who brought the Wolf over to begin with?" Buffy asked "Why do we trust her?" Buffy glared at the most recent CEO of Wolfram &n Hart.

"She works for Cordelia now." Angel explained as he followed Lilah

"Oh don't even get me started on saint Cordy." Lilah bellyached as she led them through the tunnel's many junctures. "It's all protect the innocent this and help the hopeless that. I tell you atoning for past sins is even less fun than you made it look."

Angel was annoyed by that spiel. "You know you were a big part of said lack of fun."

"I don't know." Lilah gave him a cheeky grin. "Wes and I had some fun."

"Wait a minute." Faith said "Did you and he-"

Angel quickly changed the subject. "How much further?"

"Don't be so eager." Lilah said "You'll get to tussle with the nasties."

"Plural?" Angel said "We're just after the Ram."

"And to get to her we'll have to battle all manner of evil beast right?" Spike asked

"You got it." Lilah shot a grin at the vampire.

"Bloody lovely,"

"And you were going to mention this when?" Angel asked

"Hey," Lilah put her hands in the air. "You didn't ask and the powers aren't paying me to show incentive." Angel had imagined a climactic battle between them and the Ram, but he should have known it wasn't going to be that simple. They would have to earn that final confrontation. At least they had a guide, even if it was Lilah. It was strange to imagine the woman he had hated so much working for the woman he had loved. It was also grating that Lilah didn't seem at all grateful for the second chance she had been given.

"They're paying you?" Faith asked

"No, you see my point." Lilah replied

"So what all do we have to face?" Buffy asked

"The first wave is a battalion of Turok-Han." Lilah said to Faith's and Buffy's simultaneous groans "Come across them before?"

"We thought we made them extinct." Spike grumbled

"This is a different reality." Lilah said "One the senior partners control. They decide what does and does not exist here. Hopefully they can't just decide you don't exist."

Angel gave his surroundings a nervous glance. That would hardly be fair. "They would probably have already done that if they could right?"

Lilah shrugged. "Maybe the Ram wants to keep you around for a while, punish you for murdering her sister. Nice job by the way, shame about the werewolves."

Angel almost stopped. He might not have loved Nina the same way he had Buffy or Cordelia, but he had cared for her. He had known in a way that she was dead, but now that this was certain he felt the pain of her passing. He forced himself onward. "So they're dead then?"

Lilah nodded. "Here we are."

A widening in the tunnel about the size of a ballroom contained fifty Turok-Han. Spike scoffed. "We've handled a lot worse. This is cake."

"We had an army and a magical amulet then." Faith reminded him

"Oh yeah, well I'm not too concerned." Spike shrugged and then ran into the crowd of vampires. Angel, Buffy, and Faith were close behind him.

…

Kennedy led the group back toward the industrial building. Conner flanked her on the right while Gunn flanked her on the left. Harmony and Xander stood on either side of Willow as she tried to tap into the energy currents flowing beneath the city to sense Angel and the others.

"Is it working?" Harmony asked

"No," Willow said "And you pestering me makes it harder."

Harmony put her hands in the air. "Whatever,"

As the building came into view they saw a crowd of rampaging demons. Half of the buildings in the area were destroyed and while the building their group was holed up in was still intact it looked a little worse for wear. A demon ran headlong into the building and bounced off because of the barrier. The building still shook with the impact. "That's a problem." Gunn said

Willow nodded. She needed to focus on this situation. Buffy, Angel, Faith, and Spike would have to wait. Willow held out her hand and let her awareness flow into the building. She could sense that while the building wasn't going to fall down this moment it wouldn't take much more than one more good knock to bring it down. "We need to get them out of there."

Willow waited until they were right in front of the building before she released the spell keeping the barrier up. She felt a huge drain on her powers disappear. She breathed a sigh of relief as she felt her strength return. The five people in the building ran out. Anne made a bee-line for Gunn. She threw her arms around him. "You're alive." She whispered

He held her at arm's length. "You were in doubt? That hurts,"

A single tear escaped her eye. "Sorry, I just need you."

Gunn felt an ache in his heart. He felt the same way. He felt like Anne was the future he needed. He was tired of demons and hell. He wanted a better life than this and thought that life was standing in front of him. "Well I'm right here." Internally he swore to himself at that moment that his days of demon-fighting were over. He'd done his part and he was ready to move on. He hoped the woman he was holding would be there with him.

Gunn looked over at his other friends. Lorne looked petrified, but seemed to be doing his best to hide it. Wesley was holding hushed conference with Willow. Fred was talking to the bloody Conner. He was almost shaking. Did they all feel the same way? "Let's get out of here."

"This area is returning to its rightful state, but the transition is happening much faster than it did the first time, which was a gradual process." Wesley explained "This whole area is unstable. We need to find a safe place to wait for the change to end."

"Where?" Lorne asked "Where's safe."

"The place the changes are revolving around, the eye of the storm if you will." Wes said

"Please don't say the Hyperion." Gunn said

Willow nodded. "Sorry," She said "The changes will radiate out from there, it will be the first place to truly return to our dimension, or being completely in our dimension I should say."

Gunn groaned. "Fine," He hefted his sword. "At least we'll get to take out some demons on the way." Just because he was retiring soon didn't mean he wouldn't enjoy once last bout of righteous slaughter. "Let's get out of here." They headed for the Hyperion.

…

Angel brushed the dust off his coat from the last Turok-Han. "That wasn't so bad."

Spike snorted in derision. "Let's go."

As they approached the narrowing in the tunnel Lilah reappeared. "Good job," Her voice was dripping with fake enthusiasm. "So the boss chewed me out for being unhelpful, now I've got to be a good little girl and give you the run-down of the next thing the Ram has in store for you." As they followed their guide Angel had a sinking feeling. "Think of the moments where you had reached the limits of your endurance and emerged stronger for it." Angel wasn't sure what horrors this thought could lead to, but he thought of some of the many times he thought he couldn't take anymore. "Think of all the bad decisions you didn't make and how much better off you are for being stronger than your wicked urges." Angel flinched at a particular memory.

"What's your point?" Faith snapped

"Imagine if you hadn't emerged stronger, if you had made those bad decisions. Think of your worst possible self. Think of all the alternate versions of you and summon to mind the worst of all possible scenarios. That's what you have to face next. An alternate reality made real."

"So Angelus for me?" Angel asked

"No," Lilah said "Your alternate self is the one who chose to embrace evil despite his soul, the one we were trying to create when we offered you the job at Wolfram & Hart."

Angel didn't like to think of what that version of himself was like He tried to distract himself. "Well your plan didn't work." Angel bragged

"One stage of the plan was getting you used to the status quo." Lilah explained "We didn't count on the combination of two independent factors forcing you to action."

"What do you mean?" Angel asked "What happened?"

"Cordelia first, giving you a way to take out the circle, but that alone wasn't enough. You needed a push at just the right moment. You needed to be angry and desperate. You-"

Spike cut her off. "Just say it, say her name. She's not dead anymore."

Angel understood. Lilah was right. It had been Fred's death that had pushed him to take on the circle. It had been his need to make her death mean something. He'd confessed as much before they initiated their power play. "So you're saying I would have gone evil if it weren't for Cordelia's message and Fed's death?" He asked "I don't believe that."

"Me either," Buffy said "Angel wouldn't go dark."

"You thought he had." Faith reminded Buffy

"Oh shut up Faith." It was Buffy's voice, but not her that spoke. Four familiar but strange figures emerged from the shadows. Buffy's doppelganger was covered in scars and wore what appeared to be a permanent scowl. "We have no interest in you or your words. Die now."

"That's my cue to go." Lilah vanished

"Dibs on evil Buffy." Faith said

"Dibs on evil Faith." Buffy retorted

As the two slayers engaged their opposites Spike and Angel exchanged a look. "Don't take the resentment I take out on your look-a-like personally." Spike said

"Never," Angel promised "And likewise,"

Angel threw a punch at a Spike that appeared identical to the other Spike. Angel could even sense that this one had a soul. Although something about it was wrong. All four of the doppelgangers were wrong. They were real, but not quite right; they were almost thin. Their connection to reality was weaker than it ought to be. "You want to dance dad?" Evil Spike asked

"Sure kiddo," Angel said "But you won't live to the end."

"As long as I take you down as well." Evil Spike replied "You took everything from me."

Angel rolled his eyes. "That old line? Seriously?"

"My life wasn't enough." Alternate Spike said as he dodged a blow from Angel and landed an uppercut on Angel's jaw. "You had to have my destiny and my girl as well."

"I didn't kill you, Drusilla did." Angel reminded the vampire, although he wasn't sure if that was true in the alternate universe this Spike was from.

It must have been because Spike didn't contradict him. "Who killed Drusilla?" He pointed out instead "Who turned her in the first place? That poor sweet innocent girl,"

Angel didn't have a good argument for that. "You can't blame me for all your problems."

"I can though, that's the rub." Spike shoved Angel into the rock and pulled a stake from his back pocket. Angel grabbed the vampire's arm and twisted it. Spike dropped the stake.

Angel tried to flip the vampire, but Spike elbowed him in the face. Spike landed a few good punches and picked his stake back up. The vampire promptly dissolved into dust. Buffy stood there holding her own stake. She grinned at Angel. Angel couldn't keep a silly smile off his own face until he noticed Faith and Spike were still facing their respective adversaries. "I'll take me, you take you?" He suggested "Faith didn't give you much trouble huh?"

Angel picked up evil Spike's stake as Buffy replied. "The head games trick is old."

It didn't take long for Angel to take himself out while the evil doppelganger was distracted by fighting Spike. Buffy finished herself in even shorter order. "No problem," The slayer said "When is the Ram going to give us a real challenge?"

"Is that what you think is going on?" Lilah asked as she reappeared

"What do you mean?" Angel asked

"You think she wants these childish projections to defeat you?"

"Well yeah," Buffy said "What else would the point be?"

Lilah eyed Angel's bruises. "To erode you as she cannot be eroded."

Angel frowned. "She's just trying to soften us up?"

Lilah nodded. "Yep,"

"So how do we get to her without going through all these ridiculous trials?" Angel asked

Lilah shrugged. "She appears when she wants to."

"Then we won't play her game." Faith said "We can just wait here."

"And starve to death." Buffy said

"Bloody good plan," Spike said

"Well I don't want to play her game." Faith said

"We have to make her play ours." Angel said "We have to fight her on our terms."

"Impossible," Lilah said "This is her home turf."

Angel closed his eyes and thought. There had to be a way to draw her out. There must be some kind of inflammatory statement he could make to bring her forward to face them. Perhaps mentioning the death of her sister, but Angel doubted that would suffice. He didn't think the love they shared could be strong enough, not with such evil creatures. Perhaps he could appeal to her pride. No, he had to offer her something. What was it the Wolf had said? The Ram liked to watch what was most depraved in humanity. Angel opened his eyes. "You've seen what we're capable of!" He shouted "You've seen what I've done! I have more to show you!"

A still silence pervaded. "Okay," Spike said "Not sure what that was supposed to accomplish, but whatever it was it didn't work."

"I'll make a bet with you! My soul against your life!"

"Are you insane?" Buffy shouted

The Ram walked from around the corner. The tunnel stretched and grew into a dome with a radius the length of a football field. A Ram the size of an Elephant, with horns like spears no man or even vampire could ever lift, towered over them. "We're fucked." Spike said

"We can do this." Buffy said "We can."

A horrible laugh came from the creature. It sounded like Cthulhu's cough. A voice like boulders falling from a volcano onto an unsuspecting village spoke. "You will regret this."

They raised their enchanted swords. "Go for the neck." Angel said

"Or anything you can hit." Faith said

Angel looked at the neck he would only be able to reach if he stood on Buffy's shoulders while she stood on Spike's while they were all on their tip-toes. "Right,"

"Avoid the horns." Buffy said

"Blood brilliant advice," Spike said "Ready to stop talking and start swinging?"

…

The Hart dragged her hand along the warm dark stone of the corridor as she walked toward her impending confrontation with the warriors. She could feel her dimension separating from the human's. Yet even when the connection had been completely severed she knew she would be able to feel her old home better than ever. Her old teacher's plan had multiplied her ties to the earth so that her previous connection was less than a single percentage point of what it was now. On top of that there was the fall out of this little conflict. True, they had not won the battle, but they would win the war. Soon the world would belong to the Wolf, Ram, and Hart. All she had to do now was have a nice little chat with the warriors, see to the raising, and wait. The rest would take care of itself. The Hart smiled. She was tempted to hum a little tune. But what could capture this moment in the most appropriate manner? Only the moment itself, which she would savor in silence. The Hart let the tunnel shrink so that she could touch both walls. Oh what a joy it would be to be gone from this place, and each moment here reminded her that soon she would be savoring the joy of a departure. She could taste the victory, like one tasted the sauce simmering on the stove. The air itself absorbed the flavor of her cooking victory.

…

Angel ducked the Ram's charge. He swung upward and slashed her calf. The blood ran freely, splashing down his blade and coating his hand and arm. The creature didn't even seem fazed by this. Angel hit the ground to avoid being trampled by a hoof. He glimpsed his companions fighting in a similar state of futility. The Ram was so large it was almost like fighting a coordinated army rather than a single beast. Angel ran over to Spike and gave him a meaningful look. Spike nodded. Angel handed Spike the sword and Angel tossed him in the air, holding both blades. Spike drove the blades into the beast's ribs. It swung its head, knocking Spike to the ground. Angel ran over to see if he was all right and the Ram kicked Angel. Angel flew into the wall at the other end of the gigantic dome. Angel pulled himself to his feet in time to see the Ram toss her head again. Faith went flying, more vertically than horizontal.

Angel saw that the swords were still imbedded in the Ram. If he could just get to them and drive them further in. Angel ran for the Ram. The ram slammed its foot down toward Faith, who only managed to roll out of the way at the last moment. Buffy ran to help her up, but was kicked away by the Ram. The Ram lowered its head and impaled Faith, who didn't manage to dodge the blow this time. Angel gaped as the Ram pulled its horn from Faith's abdomen, leaving a gaping bloody hole. "Faith!" Angel didn't know if it was him or someone else who screamed.


	22. Sunrise

Faith reached for the hole in her abdomen with a shaking hand. Willow had suffered an injury like this, it wasn't so bad. But she knew this was different. The Ram's horns were far more powerful than Conner's stake. Willow wasn't here to enact a healing spell. Faith felt strong hands grab her and pull her away from the confrontation. "Faith, Faith,"

Faith reached upwards and felt a face, his face. "Angel," She whispered "Are we winning?" Faith felt a little delirious and she wasn't sure she could trust her blurry vision. Was Angel responding? She couldn't tell. Her gut hurt so much. "Can Willow heal me?"

"Yes Faith we're winning and you're going to be all right."

"Liar," She may have been suffering from wavering lucidity, but she knew false reassurances when she heard them. She felt the warm blood spilling out of her. "Hurts,"

"Don't worry," We'll be out of here soon and Willow will heal you."

"Don't think so." Faith said "I think this is a special wound. You know?"

"Shhh," Faith felt lips on the crown of her head, lips without temperature. "We're going to defeat this bitch and then take you back to the surface. You'll be okay."

Faith was about to protest, but changed her mind. "Okay, go kill her. Kill her for me."

She felt the vampire leave her side. Faith knew she was dying but refused to leave until the Ram was gone. Only when the thing that had killed her was dead could she go. She felt the pain like a pulsating bundle of energy. Internally she begged Buffy and the vampires to hurry.

…

Wesley looked into the chasm. He felt a heavy despair. A raging wind that spontaneously changed direction without rhyme or reason attacked them as they stood on the site of the former Hyperion. As Fred approached him her hair was whipped back and forth, stinging her face. She put a hand on his shoulder. "They'll come back." She said "They have to."

Wesley shook his head. "You can't be sure."

"We came back." She said "Somebody is watching over us."

Wesley turned to meet her eyes, a far more pleasant sight than the deep hole in the ground. They were warm and inviting rather than dark and hard. He tried to tuck her hair behind her ear, but the wind refuted him. "Who? Are they strong enough to see us through this?"

"They were strong enough to keep me safe. The fire that was supposed to destroy me didn't get any part of me, not one. Remember?" Wesley did remember. Illyria herself had been sure that Fred was gone, because her survival was so impossible. How had she been preserved?

"Yes," The sound of approaching demons, heavy footsteps and loud roars, shook the assembled from their individual thoughts and conversations. Wesley bent down and picked two swords up off the ground. He handed one to Fred. "One last time?"

He couldn't make out the look she gave him. It was a sad smile, an accepting one; but also one who didn't quite believe the 'one last' part. Wesley didn't let that bother him. They would get out of this and move on with their lives, lives without demons and monsters. He had to believe that. Her hand touched his when she took the sword. "One last time,"

…

Angel could only see red. He couldn't think about whether Faith would live or die. He couldn't think about the fate of the world and how it rested on his shoulders. He couldn't think about his own future. He just had to kill the Ram. This monster had made him what he was. She had created the vampire. If not for her he would never had become a monster or committed the monstrous acts he'd spent so long atoning for. She had not been content to ruin his thus. She'd arranged for his soul to be ripped from its resting place and returned to this world. She's forced a stolen destiny on him because she thought he would fail. She's hurt people he loved. She'd tried to corrupt him. Now she might have killed his friend. She might have killed the woman he tried so hard to save. This demon had to die. Right now nothing else in the world mattered to Angel.

He swung with a speed and strength he hadn't known he possessed before now. He couldn't see Buffy or Spike or even Faith. All he saw were his targets and a red blur around them. He hacked and he stabbed. The point of his blade parted the flesh around her knee. She was forced to bow forward for a moment. Angel swung at the creature's neck and planted his sword in her. She rammed his body, pinning him to the ground. She lifted a foot to crush him but toppled over to her side. Buffy had grabbed the hilt of Angel's sword and pulled down, slitting her throat. A waterfall of blood poured out. Buffy didn't shy away from it. Angel struggled to his feet. He grabbed Faith's sword. He swung at the Ram's eyes but she shrunk down to her human form, away from them. Spike, Angel, and Buffy surrounded her.

The beautiful woman seemed unaffected by her slit neck. She let the green syrupy mixture spill down her and discolor her clothes and skin. She opened her mouth wide. A thick tongue like a boa constrictor unfurled. Her canines curled outwards like tusks. She moved like lightning and grabbed Spike, then Angel by the neck. Her fingers contracted and crushed their unnecessary windpipes. Her tongue wrapped around Buffy's neck and pulled the woman closer to her. Buffy was choking and Angel couldn't release himself from the Ram's grip.

Buffy still managed to hold onto her sword even as she struggled to draw in a breath. She swung at the thick muscular tongue, cutting it, but not deep enough to sever it. Green slime leaked along the length of the tongue and dripped onto Buffy. Buffy dropped her sword and went still. Angel fought harder, but to no avail. The Ram dropped Buffy. She swung her tusks at Spike, impaling the vampire. She dropped him and he clutched the painful wounds. She kicked him in the face. She picked up Buffy's dropped sword and swung it to decapitate the vampire.

Buffy jumped up and grabbed the Ram's wrist, throwing off her aim just enough to cause her to slash Spike's chest instead of his neck. The Ram jerked her arm, tossing Buffy away. The Ram dropped Angel and lifted the sword to decapitate him. Buffy picked up the sword Angel had lost when he drove it into the Ram's neck. She shoved the enchanted blade into the Ram's back. The point stuck out from between her breasts. The Ram fell to her knees and then Buffy pulled the sword out. She swung at the beast and separated her head from her body.

Green goo gushed from the Ram like a science fair volcano. Her skin melted away and whatever had been inside of her evaporated into the air. Buffy dropped the sword and fell to her knees. Angel struggled to his feet and stumbled over to Faith. "Faith," He gripped her hand.

Spike walked over to Buffy and collapsed to his knees next to her. She laid her head on his chest and he lay his head on her own. Angel watched Faith's shallow breathing. It didn't look like it would last much longer. "We got her Faith. You're going to be okay because we got her."

The sound of sardonic clapping filled the chamber. If that was Lilah Angel was going to be pissed. He turned to look at the clapper. It wasn't Lilah.

…

Conner wasn't sure what he was fighting for, but the fighting at least distracted him from the pain. Cutting down these demons didn't fill the emptiness inside him, but it at least kept him from staring into that abyss. That's why when the last demon fell at his feet and none came forward to take its place Conner felt neither satisfaction nor disappointment. He looked behind him. Teresa was holding Lorne's bloody hand and wrapping a strip of fabric around it. Her claws made the task difficult but she was doing her best. Willow was holding a glowing hand over Anne's forearm while Gunn had his arms wrapped around Anne. Harmony was helping Xander to his feet. Kennedy, Wesley, and Fred were examining the fallen demons for any still living to finish off. Conner threw his sword into the distance, drawing attention to himself. He hadn't meant to do that, he'd just been angry. Now he just wanted everyone to stop looking at him.

Xander walked over to him and Conner clenched a fist. He tried to look as hostile as possible so the man would back off. Xander stopped a few feet in front of Conner. "I'm alone too." Conner didn't notice Willow shooting Xander a confused and upset look. "I know how it feels to lose someone and think the world has ended, but it hasn't. Look," Xander gestured to the sky. Conner shielded his eyes from the sun. Sunlight, how long had it been since he'd seen it?

"Everyone leaves me." Conner said in a monotone

"We won't." Anne walked up to Conner and put her hands on his shoulder.

Gunn walked up and stood next to her. Conner remembered that summer Gunn had tried to be like a father to him. It hadn't gone very well, but they'd both been different people then. It was still nice that he'd tried. "You're family Conner." The man said "We won't let you be alone." Conner began to shake and cry. He fell to his knees. He felt Gunn's strong hand squeeze his shoulder. "Let it out. You'll feel better when you let it out." Anne hugged Conner.

Conner could hear his own loud racking sobs. Yet his advanced hearing meant despite the cacophony he could also hear when the earth began to split apart once again.

…

The Hart was wearing a smile of undiluted joy. She looked as though someone had just told her the funniest joke she had ever heard, or the most pleasant story. Her white gown rippled as though in the wind, even though there was no wind down here. "Hello Angel,"

Angel gripped Faith's hand tighter. He had never seen the Hart before, but he knew it was her. "You," She looked like an angel, how dare she look like that?

"Me," Angel stood up in front of Faith. "Do you want to kill me?"

"Very much," Angel replied

"Do you think you can?" Angel looked at the panting Buffy and the red welt around her neck. He looked at the bloody Spike. He looked behind himself at the dying Faith.

"No,"

"Are you going to try anyway?" The Hart spoke like a kindergarten teacher to a precocious child. She continued to flutter in the nonexistent wind.

Angel felt like he had to. He knew that she was the most powerful of the senior partners, knew that she would kill him; but he had to try to take her down anyway. "Yes,"

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

Angel clenched his fists. More lies, more tricks, more games, he knew what was coming and he didn't want to hear it. "After everything you did to me, how could it not be?"

"Angel," Angel turned around and saw Cordelia. He stared in awe as she knelt down next to Faith and touched the woman's side. A white glow came from Cordelia's hands. When she removed her hands the blood was still there but the wound was gone. Cordelia touched Faith's face, her expression one of mourning. "I wish I could do more."

"Cordelia,"

Cordelia looked up and gave him a sad smile. "You did it, you saved the world."

Angel frowned. "That isn't how it feels."

"I know. I'm sorry. But the world will seem like a much better place when you see the sunrise." Angel flinched. Did she know what he had done, that he'd traded away the prophecy?

Cordelia stood and began to approach the Hart. "Be careful," Angel warned

Cordelia waved him off. She stood in front of the grinning demon. "Give my friend back what belongs to him." She demanded "And open the door out of here."

"I'll be more than happy to let your friends back to their world, but I have no reason to return the prophecy to Angel. He handed it over of his own free will."

Cordelia held a piece of paper up in front of the Hart. "Give him what you have or I'll give him what I have." The Hart's smile didn't waver but her eyes hardened.

The Hart held out her empty palm and a piece of paper materialized on it. "Trade ya,"

Cordelia picked up the Hart's piece of paper and replaced it with her own. The Hart closed her hand. Cordelia walked back to Angel and took his hand. "Hey,"

Angel touched the side of her face. "Cordelia,"

"You stopped them."

Angel leaned his forehead against hers. "Your hiring criteria is too low."

Cordelia giggled. "Really high actually."

"Oh?"

"Someone I love has to love them." She explained "Lilah will come around."

"If you say so." Angel said "I miss you. We all miss you."

"Would it be stupid and corny for me to say I'm always with you?"

"Yes," Angel kissed her forehead. "Say it anyway."

"I'm always with you Angel." Cordelia put the piece of paper in his hand. "You stopped them. You saved the world, saved everybody. Now I need you to do one more thing."

"Anything," Angel felt his heart begin to beat.

"Enjoy your reward. Enjoy being human." Cordelia took a step back.

Buffy gasped. "You mean…"

"I'm so bored." The Hart said "So mortal boy, now that you have even less chance of defeating me are you going to try to kill me?"

Faith struggled to her feet and stood as steady as she could. Cordelia walked over to the slayer and let Faith lean on her. Buffy pulled herself to her feet and leaving Spike on the ground she walked up to Angel. She put her hand on his chest and felt the heart beneath it. "Angel,"

Angel shook his head. "Looks like you're off the hook." Angel said

"What a relief," The Hart rolled her eyes. She swung her hand in the air, pointing at the far wall. A staircase formed from the stone. "Your friends are up there."

She turned to go. "See you around,"

"I don't think so." Spike said

Angel pulled Buffy into an embrace, oblivious to what was going on around him. She put her lips on his. "You're human." She said "This is real. It's like a dream, but it's real."

Angel kissed her passionately. "It's all real."

The Hart was gone. Cordelia called Spike over. "Could you help her to the surface?" She gestured to the trembling Faith. Spike led the woman toward the staircase.

Angel tore himself away from Buffy. "Cordelia,"

Cordelia held up her hand. "Go see the sun, and your son."

Angel nodded. "Will I ever see you again?"

"Of course," Cordelia looked surprised by the question. Angel and Buffy held hands as they headed up the staircase. Spike helped Faith follow them. When they were out of view Lilah materialized next to Cordelia. "What is it?" Cordelia asked

"Kind of cruel isn't it? Maybe we should have warned them."

"No," Cordelia said "They deserve some happiness."

"How long will it last?"

Cordelia put her hand on Lilah's shoulder. "Let's go home."

…

The Hart stood on the bank of her bloody river. One thing left to do. She sensed that Holland was done and journeyed down to a room of earth, with smooth brown walls. In the center of the room was a golden circle, three meters in diameter. The symbol was decorated in ancient symbols. The air had the electric aftertaste of powerful magic. "Thank you Holland."

Holland bowed and left.

The woman chained to the golden circle pulled at her restraints, but the magic was too powerful for her to fight against, even with her newfound abilities. "Hello Illyria,"

"Explain this indignity." Illyria demanded

The Hart ignored this. "Did you enjoy your… vacation?"

Illyria glared at the Hart with pure loathing. "I will devour your body and make a coat of it." The old one swore to her ancient rival "I remember when you were as an ant."

"No need for that." The Hart explained cheerily "It's warm where you're going."

"Why did you return me?" Illyria asked

"It's not for me, it's for you." The Hart sounded positively motherly. "I just want you to be happy." Illyria continued to struggle against her chains. "Do you enjoy it?"

"Being chained up like a lower being?"

The Hart shook her head, black curls dancing in front of her face. "Do you enjoy your new strength? Do you enjoy being rid of the disgusting humanity that Burkle woman put in you?" Illyria took a few moments to stare impassively at the Hart before she slowly nodded. "I am glad." The Hart kept up the motherly act. "Now that you are strong again with the power I have given you would you like to find your betrayers and destroy them so utterly that. They will wish. They had stayed. Dead." The Hart enunciated each word with unmistakable malice.

Illyria glared at the Hart. "I would like that."

…

Wesley watched the new hole in the earth form. What untold horrors might now emerge from the depths to seek the senior partners' vengeance? Angel and Buffy emerged from the darkness and stepped into the sunlight. Wesley gaped at the sight. "Angel?"

Angel looked up at the sun and smiled. The sun's rays hit him in the face and he didn't burst into fire. Fred squealed and ran up to her friend. Angel enveloped her in a hug. "Hey Fred,"

"Dad?" Conner walked up the Angel. Angel let go of Fred and enveloped Conner in a hug. "You're human." Angel squeezed his son tighter. "You're alive and you're human."

"I am. I am and I love you so much Conner."

Conner began to cry, but they were tears of joy. Wesley felt a happy tear slide out of his own eye. "How is this possible?" He heard Willow ask

"Shanshu," Wesley whispered

"It's a miracle." Anne said

Xander saw Spike and Faith stop along the line of shadow in the rock staircase. He pulled of his jacket and hopped into the hole. He traded Spike the jacket for Faith, helping the woman to the surface while Spike used the jacket as cover until her found sanctuary among the shadows with Harmony. Wesley walked up to Faith and Xander, concerned. "Are you all right?"

Faith was very pale from blood loss. But she still smiled and nodded. "I am."

Wesley hugged her. "I'm glad."

She held tightly to him. "I am too, but also very tired."

Xander walked over to Buffy and hugged her. Willow joined in. Angel stopped hugging Conner long enough to look around and make sure no one was lost but the ones he already knew about. He locked eyes with Wesley who was still holding Faith. Gunn clapped Angel on the back. Angel hugged the man. "I'm glad you're okay." Gunn said "And I'm happy for you."

Lorne walked up. "How's it feel?" He asked "To be a regular old human?"

Angel wrapped his arms around the Pylean. "It feels wonderful." Angel let him go and threw an arm over Conner's shoulders, pulling the boy against him. Conner smiled.

Lorne had a big goofy grin on his face. To rest, to finally find peace, it was all he wanted for his friend. He felt a clawed hand tug at his. He followed Teresa away from the main group. "I had a vision." She said "I know what's coming next."

Lorne felt a chill. "You mean it's not over?"

Teresa didn't respond for a few moments. "I'm not going to tell you. Is that right?"

Lorne thought about that. He looked over at the group. Wesley was helping Faith over to a pile of debris. She sat against the wreckage and leaned her head on her shoulder. Her pale skin shined with sweat. Angel was hugging Conner again. He let go of the boy and ruffled his son's hair. Buffy let go of Xander and Willow. She pulled Angel into a passionate kiss. Gunn and Anne mimicked the couple. Willow and Kennedy followed suit. The battle scars were there, plain for all to see, but these people were happy. The world was safe, for now. Did they need to know how long this would last? Lorne didn't think so. He knew that he at least didn't want to know. He wanted to savor this for as long as possible. "Yes, it is."

"Good, I was scared."

"Don't be." He kissed her.

Wesley knelt in front of Faith. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'm okay. I'm going to live. She won't let me die." Faith mumbled in delirium

"Who-"

"I think she's talking about Cordelia." Angel said from behind him

Wesley turned around and stood up to face the newly human Angel. "Cordelia was down there?" Angel nodded. "She have anything to do with your newfound humanism?"

Angel nodded again. "I thought I'd lost my chance."

"You earned this." Wesley said earnestly "I'm glad it worked out."

"Yeah it did didn't it?" Angel looked around with a bog goofy grin on his face. "I'm kind of terrified. Good things don't usually happen to us. When they do, it tends to herald misery."

Wesley kicked a pebble on the ground. "We paid for this."

Angel looked at his former home, but he was thinking of Nina, Kate, and Oz. He thought of them and a lot of other things. He thought of the days gone by and the horrors they had all been subjected to. Those times were over, but had it been worth it? "We did."

The two men hugged. Faith laughed and her laughter turned to coughing. Wesley knelt down in front of her again. "Faith, we should really get you some medical-"

She grabbed his hand. "I told you I would be okay." She squeezed his hand.

Angel knelt down as well. "You did good Faith."

"I know." She said "I kicked ass." She closed her eyes. "Who killed her?"

"Buffy," Angel said

"Good old Buffy," Faith went still.

Angel shot Wesley a panicked look. "I think she just fell asleep. She probably needs a blood transfusion." Wesley explained "I doubt any near-by hospitals are still in operation."

The men stood up and turned to the crowd. Xander walked over. "Is she okay?"

"Do you know her blood type?" Wesley asked

"A positive," Xander said

"We could find a pharmacy or a clinic with medical supplies." Wesley said "There'll be sterile equipment and we can give her a transfusion."

"Where do we get the blood?" Xander asked

"I'm A negative, she can take mine."

A funny thought struck Angel. He tried to hold back laughter because he thought it wouldn't be contextually appropriate, but he couldn't. "What's so funny?" Xander asked

"I wonder what my blood type is."

Wesley gave Angel an odd look which turned out to be him holding back his own laughter. Xander didn't share in the two men's laughter until Buffy and Willow came over and upon learning what the source of the laughter was joined in themselves. Hours later when Faith woke up in a pharmacy with a fresh pint of blood and someone told her the story of the spontaneous laughter over her passed out self and what had been found so funny she laughed too.

…

Robin sighed as he shut his laptop. He picked up his phone and then leaned into the couch as he read the notice that informed him he had no missed calls and no new texts. The sound of keys in the lock drew his attention to the door. The only other person who had keys to this apartment was in California. Robin stood up as the door opened.

"Faith?!" Robin was overjoyed, confused, and angry all at the same time.

"Hey babe," Faith said as she closed the door.

"You were supposed to call me when you caught a flight."

"Sorry honey, I wanted to surprise you." Faith walked up to Robin and began passionately making out with him. Robin was surprised as he fell into the couch.

"You said on the phone you got hurt." Faith began pulling at Robin's shirt.

"All better baby," Faith said "Except I miss my fun time."

"I missed fun time too." Robin admitted as he pulled off her shirt.

The events of the next hour took Faith's mind off the incessant tingling of the scar on her abdomen for the first time since she'd left L.A.

…

Buffy hailed a cab while Angel pushed the luggage trolley to the curb. "Dawn's freaking out." Buffy said "She said she cleaned the apartment three times today."

"Really?" Angel asked

"That's Dawn-speak for 'she made Andrew clean the apartment three times today' you'll learn to translate." Buffy assured him "She's really excited we're coming though."

"She can't be as excited as I am." Angel leaned in for a kiss at the same time the cab pulled over. Buffy and Angel loaded their bags into the trunk. "But you're sure she's cool with me moving in like this? I don't want to make things awkward."

"Of course she is." Buffy said as they got in the cab. "Dawn just wants me to be happy."

"And you are?"

Buffy laid her head against his chest. "I've never been happier."

"Good," Angel gripped her hand. "Me either," Angel remembered the curse. "It's almost like this is some trick to bring back Angelus, but he's gone. He's really gone."

"And you're here, with me." Buffy said "Nothing could make this better."

Angel nodded in agreement. "So about the Andrew thing…"

Buffy sighed. "He's trying to find his own apartment. You two can manage to get along for a few weeks I'm sure." Buffy said

"I could get along with a cabal of slime demons if it meant living with you." Angel said

…

Xander unlocked the door to his apartment. He headed for the fridge and pulled out a beer. He popped the tab and took a sip. Xander put the beer down and picked up his laptop. He sat in front of the TV as he logged into his E-mail. Everything was either work-related or junk mail. Xander turned on the TV. The news came on. Xander often watched the news because he didn't have to keep up with it to understand what was going on. Xander looked around his empty apartment and rubbed his temple. Xander stood up to retrieve his beer. He stared at it and then began to cry. Xander threw the beer to the other side of the kitchen and sat on the ground crying.

The racking sobs were loud and startling. Xander felt like he was listening to a recording of the call of a rare demon, not himself. He wanted to stop crying, but he couldn't figure out how. Xander imagined himself getting up and going to work in the morning. He imagined to talking to Willow, or Faith, or Buffy. He imagined just living his life. The tears kept coming.

…

"I love it!" Teresa was jumping up and down with the excitement of the proverbial kid in the hypothetical candy shop. "It's perfect. We have to get it."

Spike and Harmony emerged from the basement of the empty building. Spike ran his hand along the dusty walls. "We can make it work if the price is good."

"Caritas 2.0 is going to be amazing!" Teresa said "And Spike & Harmony's paranormal investigations will be the talk of the New York City underground."

Harmony squealed with delight. "I'm in the name?"

"No," Spike growled as he shot a look at Teresa

"Looks like that settles it." Lorne said "This is the new Caritas." Teresa threw her arms around her boyfriend and kissed him on the cheek. She gave no hint that she knew of the horrors that would take place here, including her eventual death.

…

Six Months Later

Spike was having more fun than he thought he would. He'd never admit it of course, but this wedding wasn't half bad. He'd be glad to get back home, but for now dancing with Harmony on the polished wooden dance floor that was far from any direct sunlight was nice. Spike caught a glimpse of Buffy, dancing in the arms of her very human boyfriend. Willow was close by, dancing with Kennedy. Xander was dancing with Dawn. Spike saw Gunn and Anne on the other side of the dance floor. Lorne and Teresa were dancing close to them. Faith and Robin were hiding out by the buffet table. The rest of the people in the reception hall were strangers to Spike, except of course for the nuptials themselves. They were dancing in the middle of the dance floor.

The first song was coming to an end and Spike snuck over to where Buffy and Angel were. "Can I have the next dance?" He asked "Don't worry, I won't bite."

Buffy laughed. "I've got a stake on me."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Where?"

Buffy pushed his shoulder playfully. "Perve," She held up her purse.

"Right, so are we going to dance or what?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and took Spike's hand. Angel stepped back to find a new dance partner. They were silent for a few moments. "I'm glad you came." Buffy said

"Likewise, must have been a long flight." Spike said

"Angel wasn't going to miss this." Buffy said "I mean he was the best man. Of course Dawn won't let me go to a wedding without her. I had to buy her a new dress."

"Doesn't she get paid?" Spike asked

"Yes, but she only remembers that when it's convenient for her."

Spike chuckled. "Well I'm sort of glad the scoobies are here. Part of me thinks a hoard of demons is going to attack at any moment." Spike spun Buffy around.

"So far so good. Harmony in particular seems to be having fun."

Spike nodded. "I was kind of surprised Fred asked a soulless creature of the night to be one of her bridesmaids. Isn't that bad luck or something?"

Buffy shrugged. "I think when you've died and been resurrected, the best man is a former vampire, and half the people in attendance are somehow connected to demons the traditional superstitions go out the window." Spike noticed Willow wave her hand over a plate with a single remaining hors d'oeuvre and the plate replenished itself.

"I suppose you're right." Spike conceded

"I tend to be, as a general rule." Buffy teased

Spike chuckled and was disappointed that the song was ending. He expected Angel to swoop in and snatch his girlfriend away, but it looked like Angel had snagged a dance with the bride. "One more?" He asked "For old times' sake?" The second the words left his mouth he knew they were exactly the wrong thing to say.

Buffy shook her head. "I'm going to get a drink." She said diplomatically, leaving Spike alone on the dance floor as she walked away. Spike could kick himself.

"Smooth," Spike turned to see Dawn standing there. "Do you need to save some face?"

Catching her meaning Spike began to dance with the slayer's little sister. "Thanks,"

"Don't mention it." She said "We're old friends." Spike dipped her. "How's New York."

"Not very new." Spike said to an appreciative chuckle "I've been there six months and I already feel like I know the place backwards and forwards."

"That's a good thing right?" Dawn asked

Spike shrugged, which made for an awkward dance move. "Can't complain. Rome?"

Dawn also gave an awkward shrug. "Crowded; between me, Buffy, Angel, Andrew-"

"Andrew still lives there?" Spike interrupted

Dawn made a face like she smelt rotten fish. "We keep trying to get rid of him."

"You're being too subtle." Spike said "Beat him into submission."

Dawn laughed too hard to keep dancing. She clutched her stomach. "Is that how you handle the roommate?" She looked over at Harmony.

Spike shrugged. "Harmony's… she has her uses." Most of them were sexual in nature but he wasn't going to tell Dawn that.

Dawn nodded. "She helps out with the demon hunting?"

"She thinks she does." Spike realized he was being unfair. "She does her share. I wouldn't be able to handle the administrative nonsense without her. She handles all that."

"Seems like that would be a lot of work." Dawn said

Spike conceded that point. Lorne and Teresa were always lecturing him about how he didn't appreciate Harmony, but he usually tuned them out. He wasn't about to do that with Dawn. "So why don't you move out?"

"What?" Dawn seemed taken aback by the question.

"If you're feeling crowded you should move out, get your own place." The song ended, leaving their conversation unfinished. Dawn said good bye and left. Spike was alone again, but this time no one swooped in to save him. "Right then,"

He removed himself from the dance floor and watched Fred dancing with Gunn. Angel and Buffy were dancing together again. He watched the former vampire spin his lover. Spike tried to picture himself in Angel's shoes and couldn't. He thought of all the demons he'd slayed in the last six months. Could Spike ever be just a guy? He decided to tell himself he couldn't regardless of whether or not it was true. This was his happily ever after. All of his friends' dreams had come true. Spike decided his had as well. Violence, Harmony, New York, they were enough. Spike had spent a long time being ruled by passion, now it was enough just to be enjoying himself, to be helping people. The song ended and Spike approached Fred.

"Can I kiss the bride?"

She giggled. "Thank you for coming."

"I wouldn't miss this for the world." Spike kissed the crown of her head.

None of them knew that a distance away a woman was standing still, waiting. A woman who looked very much like the bride except for her blue hue was patiently waiting for the hour when she would be able to destroy the happiness being celebrated inside.


End file.
